LadyConstanze
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Joined: 2/18/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: MadameMarque
I think you really hit on something, too, about whether you allow yourself to be limited in some way, by BDSM in your life. People talk about it and institutionalize it till they forget why they're into it, in the first place. Isn't it something that - for better or worse - came naturally to you as a drive, a desire, a hunger, an impulse, the stuff your fantasies were creating, on their own?
It might be a question to ask about anything - is this letting me create my life, fulfill my needs, my desires, overcoming limitations on what can be? - or is it limiting me, limiting my beliefs about what can be?
If I'm going somewhere extreme with someone, are they feeling, 'ah, take me there! finally, I can be myself'. Or are they feeling, 'To be that submissive, I'll just put aside all these other parts of myself, so I can be That.' And if I become a 24/7, full-on dominant, am I being myself, relieved of the pretense of some other way of being? Or am I fitting into my role every day, by denying whatever of me doesn't fit the mold?
I do wish you'd rethink the carpet of human slaves, though. mmm, It's warm, it's smooth, feels great under your feet or lounging on it watching videos, and it practically maintains itself. Actually, it maintains itself.
Anything that makes a person more complete, more happy, is a good thing. When I discovered BDSM, it was a huge weight off my chest, I realized that those vague fantasies that did turn me on weren't "odd" or "very worrying" but that there were plenty of people who actually embraced it, it also helped me to understand that I'm not in some way "evil" and that there's nothing wrong with dishing out pain and dominating somebody who enjoys it, that there are actually counterparts for me and I don't need to force it on somebody. Despite finding BDSM, it still took me years to come to terms with my sadism and actually embrace it. I get the "but you can't be a sadist, you're too nice" fairly often and the misconception of all sadists being abusers gets to me. Do I have to be impolite, uncaring, loud and rough to be a sadist? The best dominants (male or female) I know, are the most polite and considerate people you can find, they don't need to wear their dominance on their sleeve, they don't need to rub it into everybody's face, they just are and they're happy with themselves. The same goes for subs, they aren't sniffeling little creatures, most of them are successful in their own right and they accept their craving for submission, they bring it to the right place, they don't beg their secretaries to let them kiss their feet, but they live it out in the appropriate place.
I guess some people feel happy being the 24/7 full-on dominant, if I have to be that every waking minute, something valuable would be taken from me. For example, hanging out with friends who are not into BDSM, being with my friends is as much part of me and is as important for me as BDSM is, now trying to play "uber domme" with them would not only be rude, it would also most likely result in losing said friends. Terribly limiting...
Basically if you know who you are, what you enjoy, then you do embrace it and it will fit into your life (not always without a struggle) but you don't feel the need to tell everybody what is the only "true" way of practising BDSM and beware those who don't agree... Luckily BDSM has no popes or high priests, though it can be fun if you're into a bit of role play. Some people actually require submissives to even ask if they are permitted to use the toilet, and there are submissives who like that level of control, so it's great for them, personally I don't really want to regulate somebody's bladder or bowel functions 24/7, I would feel I got much better things to do, but if they are happy with it, great for them.
Going to extreme places with a partner who also craves the experience can be a mind blowing thing, it's almost like bonding on a very special level, somebody trying to go there just to fit the mold might really ruin the experience.
One thing that I keep noticing over and over again is, that most of the people who preach so much about what BDSM is and what it isn't, they do seem to have issues and are often trying to mask their insecurities, a little bit like they found their fringe group and they need to establish themselves, trying to turn it into an organized cult. It happens on both sides of the whip.
Now, don't get me wrong, nothing against human carpets, but again, there's a time and a place for that, 24/7 I would find that rather stiffling. I mean, since my work requires me to travel quite a bit, organizing a human carpet from home or the office to the airport would be just too much work, I think I rather take a cab. Apart from the danger of stumbling on the uneven human carpet and running the danger of breaking an ankle... Mind you, I've done that once without human carpets and it was a rather unpleasant experience.
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There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!
http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html
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