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Subjects which are unacceptable regardless of circumstance include, but are not limited to - minors, ****, ****, necrophilia, snuff and criminal activities...

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ORIGINAL: sweetkajira

thanks for your reply. It was quick to judge, point finger, and offend. But we all have the right to voice our opinion, so i am voicing mine as well. Normally i have no problem debating any issue, since this however, is regarding my own life, there really is no point in me trying to convince you, a stranger, of who i am and who i am not....you drew your own conclusions and more power to you!

God bless you.

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ORIGINAL: Shayna
I'd like to second Lady Julie Ann's comments. Problem behavior that children exhibit are almost always a combination of nature and nurture. Stability and love, with structure and clear expectations, is the best situation. Of course it's much easier to say that than provide that environment all the time. Stressors on the adult relationship can get acted out in the parenting arena. If the parents aren't able to handle their own problems (relationships, work, health) then their parenting will suffer (impatience, over reaction, etc.). I do not believe in first looking at the child's problems; the parents need to get THEIR act together, then deal with the family as a WHOLE, not isolate a child as "the" problem.

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ORIGINAL: MsIncognito

Just out of curiousity, can I ask on what you base these comments? I'm curious if you happen to work with kids/families like this or if it is based on anectdotal evidence. While what you say can be true for some families there are also many medically recognized reasons for why children act out. Once you know why and understand that the behaviour is a form of communication it' easier to deal with the behaviour and provided the environment that helps alleviate the behaviour.

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ORIGINAL: Shayna
I'd like to second Lady Julie Ann's comments. Problem behavior that children exhibit are almost always a combination of nature and nurture. Stability and love, with structure and clear expectations, is the best situation. Of course it's much easier to say that than provide that environment all the time. Stressors on the adult relationship can get acted out in the parenting arena. If the parents aren't able to handle their own problems (relationships, work, health) then their parenting will suffer (impatience, over reaction, etc.). I do not believe in first looking at the child's problems; the parents need to get THEIR act together, then deal with the family as a WHOLE, not isolate a child as "the" problem.

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ORIGINAL: LadyJulieAnn

I work with families in their homes and am part of a team that works with development. I didn't mean to imply that there weren't any medically based reasons for behavioral issues, because I know that they exist, and some to the level of severity that require hospitalization.

Be well,
Julie[/color]

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thanks for the reply.... my lil one was admitted in psychiatry (in patient) at one point, for abrief time, like a week... he's been on meds, and quite frankly did not help... a lot has to do with behavior, although he's improved and is not aggressive anymore, the problems are majorly at school.... at this point...and things like not doing what's asked of him etc.

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Master and i are having some serious issues...and i don't really know how things turned so sour so fast! One minute we were the happiest couple i knew, the next, we aren't speaking to eachother and he's sleeping on the couch.

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The problem is that my little person, in all honesty, is a "problem lil person", and i know this, everyone knows this - my Master has been very stern with my lil person, and for the most part it has been a blessing - however, there are times where i feel it goes to an extreme, not in the abusive sense, not like the lil person has ever been touched, or yelled at - not at all - but the lil person is always punished, and for the most part i agree, since it's definetly deserved! trust me! What happened the other night, however, was that my Master grounded my lil person and i just did not agree with it,

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it is a "blind obedience" type M/s relationship

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Before this happened, he (my Master) had been acting a bit distant, and he kept saying nothing was wrong, etc etc..but i could sense something is wrong

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also, he was looking for male slaves, and i had some issues with that as well, since i don't want to include others in our relationship....i don't understand his obsession with tv's/cd's....he constantly reads those kind of stories, and then he contacts them on here and it just makes me wonder

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you see, my lil one is *to understate it* a handful, has always been this way, no one has EVER been able to deal with him

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didn't say a word, i just sat there and sulked, (i am passive aggressive like that) and he just blew off at me, said he had nothing more to do with my lil one, that i would handle him on my own and that was the last he said to me

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So he's behaving strangely

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I see role playing that went spiraling out of control.

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Well, i have to say, i knew that blended families, or step famililes, was difficult for all involved, but i never thought it was this bad.....

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i can't stand his ex, which for the record, this isn't something i vocalize or anything like that, i don't ever butt into his relationship regarding his ex and his umentionables

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it seems as if we were doomed from the beginning and not because we don't love eachother and complete eachother in everyway, but my family has been against him since day one, friends have distanced themselves from me because they feel i don't pay atention to them as much as i use to... his family has also become jealous of the fact that he moved far to be with me and isn't around them as much as he use to be

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Instituationalization? That's major stuff and a last resort for the most severe of behavior issues, I would hope. Never underestimate the need for effective parenting, and a stable, loving home for umentionables.

If one understands that many unmentionables act out as a result of feeling insecure and as a result of family situations, steps can be taken to resolve those issues and restore some normalcy. I think in many cases it's the adults that primarily need the help in order preserve emotional health for their unmentionables.

Be well,
Julie

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You present even more evidence here that you really need to communicate with him to find out what is really going on.

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One of the things that has strengthened my relationship with my slave is he has NEVER undermined my authority in front of his children. If we disagree we discuss it in private.

When you married your Dom, he accepted the role of a Father figure for your child. That means he has to be able to parent. From what I have read it sounds as though you "castrated" him in front of the child. I don't blame him for being angry. You have thrown the entire power dynamic of the household into the hands of an out of control child.
You need to decide if you are going to raise your children alone or if you are going to be parenting partners. If you are going to undermine Him every time he attempts to discipline your child, get a divorce and live alone.

I have read previous posts stating "your child is more important than your Dom" and other such sentiments. I disagree. In a FAMILY all members are important. So long as there isn't abuse, you should bite your tongue and save your dissent for a private conversation with your Dom (NOT YOUR CHILD).

And BTW.....unles your child is being chained in a closet, being grounded isn't abusive.

If you continue to parent the way you always have.....your child's behavior will not change. You mentioned your child's lack of respect in an earlier post. The "lil one" has learned all he has to do is manipulate the adults in his environment to get his way. (Primarily YOU)

If you want things to change, it's time to parent differently. It will be difficult at first as the "lil one" tries to circumvent the new rules, but eventually things will settle out. One day your child is going to be an adult. For now he/she needs parents.

Putting on my flame retardant corset
Ms Sandi