RE: "Online" D/s ... how do you feel about it? (Full Version)

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lusciouslips19 -> RE: "Online" D/s ... how do you feel about it? (5/11/2009 4:14:02 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: marysdream

for me personally, will not do on line...it is a hard limit! this weeds out the undesirable ones and leaves room for the ones that take this as seriously as i do. i know there are a lot of folks on here that see this as acceptable, although i cannot even understand how people that have never met..and probably will not meet...see this as any kind of relationship much less D/s
Thanks
ree!   


I completely and whole heartedly agree!



DavanKael -> RE: "Online" D/s ... how do you feel about it? (5/11/2009 9:46:02 PM)

I wouldn't have any interest in an on-line relationship unless it was used adjunctively to a relationship that I'd cultivated in real time.  Something that is strictly on-line is, imo, interactive masturbation. 
  Davan



ranja -> RE: "Online" D/s ... how do you feel about it? (5/12/2009 5:20:24 AM)

it is a way of playing...exploring...having fun
some people move to real time others not, some are short encounters some are long standing.
I very much enjoy this kind of contact others think it is stupid



Antheia -> RE: "Online" D/s ... how do you feel about it? (5/12/2009 5:30:36 AM)

No problem Daddysluvs. Yes this question has been asked many times and it might help to do a search but.. there are always new people joining CM or the forums and they bring new perspective to the forums. Or people who have been here for a while learned something new and are more than happy to share with others.
Online D/s is just as real as realtime D/s. If it is real to the people in it then that is all that matters. I was online with my ex Master for a year before I went to meet him, in that year I learned a lot about him and what he wanted and expected from a slave. I also learned a lot about myself and my own needs with his help. So yes it does work as long as there is a lot of communication be it online, telephone, snailmail or all these ways.
I saw Master 1-3 times a year so we did have a online relationship for the big part. But it worked ... for us. So imo and his it was a legitmate relationship. One that lasted over 8 years till our paths went separate ways.
I wish you good luck and much happiness.
A.



BoiJen -> RE: "Online" D/s ... how do you feel about it? (5/12/2009 5:34:13 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ranja

it is a way of playing...exploring...having fun
some people move to real time others not, some are short encounters some are long standing.
I very much enjoy this kind of contact others think it is stupid


It's not a good way of "exploring" anything. Nothing you type into a computer screen can prepare you for what it will actually feel like when you're being cut (doing a cutting), being flogged (flogging someone), how to balance a tray as a servant when every person in a room is looking at you (to truly accept service when it's in front of you), etc etc. Not a damned thing. It's not stupid to deal with the internet as a somewhat shotty chance at getting accurate information. It is stupid to compare typing shit onto a chat screen to actually doing something.

And I don't care about being politically correct about this. Explore my ass. That's like saying if your read enough online and chat online about different kinds of surgery, you can explore what being a doctor is like. Say that out loud and really think about it...do you feel dumb yet? I promise you, you'll get some funny looks at the next gathering of any kind if you said it then.

boi
Future ruler of the Universe serving MsKitty
Silently plotting the revenge of the swine



ranja -> RE: "Online" D/s ... how do you feel about it? (5/12/2009 5:38:22 AM)

BoiJen i care not what you think sweetie
I love exploring this way and nothing you say will spoil my fun
now go and play with your toys like a good boy



AngelGeena -> RE: "Online" D/s ... how do you feel about it? (5/12/2009 5:44:36 AM)

It doesn't work for me for many of the reasons already given.  But what matters is if it works for that particular person.  If it does, then I wouldnt worry.



IrishMist -> RE: "Online" D/s ... how do you feel about it? (5/12/2009 5:55:46 AM)

~fr~

I admit to not understanding the 'dynamics' that go into online relationships; and for myself, I could never accept it. In the end though, it really does not matter whether or not I accept someone elses online relationship; as long as I respect their right to do what they feel is best for themselves.

I have seen people on here who have had online relationships for years; never meeting; and yet they have some of the most wonderful, open, caring, loving, and devoted relationships that I have ever seen.

Everyone has the right to be happy and to choose the best way to accomplish that. It's not my place to tell them that it's right or wrong.



ncbabe -> RE: "Online" D/s ... how do you feel about it? (5/12/2009 6:36:47 AM)

I think online relationships have their place and are legitimate as long as expectations are realistic and both parties are aware of and agree on what it is.

I was not looking for an online relationship yet currently find myself in one, and I consider myself owned in so far as I obey him and him only, and am not open to any other relationship based on a D/s dynamic.  Having said that, I think that to be truly 'collared' it would have to be within a r/t relationship as there is obviously so much more involved and online relationships can only go so far.



marie2 -> RE: "Online" D/s ... how do you feel about it? (5/12/2009 6:56:28 AM)

quote:

boiJen

And I don't care about being politically correct about this. Explore my ass. That's like saying if your read enough online and chat online about different kinds of surgery, you can explore what being a doctor is like


I don't think anyone plans on doing surgery after having merely read a book about it, but all surgeons have studied and/or read about surgery BEFORE actually doing it.

No one is saying you can learn how to swing a flogger or do a cutting or whathaveyou by sitting online, however enough people seem to think they are at least exploring some psychological aspect of ds online.  Not my thing, but who is to say they're not being affected in some way through this connection?   Not everyone is in it for the physical or S and M aspects.



Antheia -> RE: "Online" D/s ... how do you feel about it? (5/12/2009 6:59:48 AM)

quote:

psychological aspect of ds online


To me the mental or psychological aspects are more important then the physical. Yeah I loved being flogged, feeling his hands on me, etc etc but a good mind fuck often was just as or more exciting ;)
A.



BoiJen -> RE: "Online" D/s ... how do you feel about it? (5/12/2009 7:11:08 AM)

So actually serving and typing about serving are the same thing? They have the same psychological impact upon a person? Is that what I hear people saying?

Do you really believe that?

As somebody who values giving service...that's offensive.

boi
Future ruler of the Universe serving MsKitty
Silently plotting the revenge of the swine



Aileen1968 -> RE: "Online" D/s ... how do you feel about it? (5/12/2009 7:11:41 AM)

My pain tolerance is a hell of a lot higher online than it is in real life....just sayin [:)]



LadyPact -> RE: "Online" D/s ... how do you feel about it? (5/12/2009 7:20:40 AM)

I missed addressing the actual OP.

By technical accounts, some could say that I'm currently involved in online D/s.  Yep.  I'm here (GA) and the boy's in KS.  My sub happens to be one of those military folks that was mentioned in an earlier post.  The first time our paths crossed did happen to be in a chat room, which led to a meet at a public club the following night.  That's where it kind of gets complicated if anyone is going to define what I have is online or real time, because he spent a year here with Me.  The collar definitely went on in person, and he's here when the military allows it.  For those of you who keep up with My personal life, he should be here again at the end of the month before he deploys.  (I know.  I'm just so interesting.  LOL.)

While clip is deployed, yes, it will definitely be online D/s, if that's how you'd like to look at it.  Does that make Me less his Dominant?  I'd like to wish anyone luck convincing Me of that.  [;)]



marie2 -> RE: "Online" D/s ... how do you feel about it? (5/12/2009 7:23:51 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BoiJen

So actually serving and typing about serving are the same thing? They have the same psychological impact upon a person? Is that what I hear people saying?



No, not the "same" impact, but an "impact" nonetheless, and one that works for him/her.



Aileen1968 -> RE: "Online" D/s ... how do you feel about it? (5/12/2009 7:27:15 AM)

I don't think anyone is saying that online communication is bad. I think what some people can't understand is when it is online ONLY. Do you think you'd have the same feelings for someone if you had never met them and your only interaction is online? With no intention of ever going real time?



MisterP61 -> RE: "Online" D/s ... how do you feel about it? (5/12/2009 7:37:40 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddyluvsitrough

Sorry about re-hashing an old-topic.  I'm new to CM and technically-challenged, next time I'll attempt to master (pun intended) the search function before starting a new topic.  I figured this one was probably beating a dead horse but appreciate the patience & responses by Doms & subs weighing on the subject.

It wasn't my intention to offend those who are heavily into the "online" D/s realm - as I feel it's a good starting point and safe way for new people to learn - but just trying to understand those who limit themselves to an online scenario.  


First off, don't be sorry... for you it is a legitimate question and it is well within your rights to start a new thread.

Now, my [sm=2cents.gif] worth.  Who am I to say what works for you... or anyone else for that matter.  It has been said many times   My kink is not your kink.  I find it hard to tell someone that they are "stupid" or "wrong" for doing it their way.  For all I know they could live in a small town where everyone knows everyone and this is the only way they can express themselves without fear of being "outed".  If it doesn't apply to me I move on.  That does not make it invalid for the person it does work for, just for Me.

MrP



LadyPact -> RE: "Online" D/s ... how do you feel about it? (5/12/2009 7:38:00 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

I don't think anyone is saying that online communication is bad. I think what some people can't understand is when it is online ONLY. Do you think you'd have the same feelings for someone if you had never met them and your only interaction is online? With no intention of ever going real time?

Good Morning Aileen.  (Well, it's morning in My time zone.)

As I'm sure you're aware, all of My answers to the above are no.  However, I like popping on to these kinds of threads to remind people that some of us have something of a mix, depending on the circumstances.  There are reasons out there that are perfectly legitimate as to why two or more people aren't sharing the same physical space for a period of time. 





BoiJen -> RE: "Online" D/s ... how do you feel about it? (5/12/2009 7:39:44 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I missed addressing the actual OP.

By technical accounts, some could say that I'm currently involved in online D/s.  Yep.  I'm here (GA) and the boy's in KS.  My sub happens to be one of those military folks that was mentioned in an earlier post.  The first time our paths crossed did happen to be in a chat room, which led to a meet at a public club the following night.  That's where it kind of gets complicated if anyone is going to define what I have is online or real time, because he spent a year here with Me.  The collar definitely went on in person, and he's here when the military allows it.  For those of you who keep up with My personal life, he should be here again at the end of the month before he deploys.  (I know.  I'm just so interesting.  LOL.)

While clip is deployed, yes, it will definitely be online D/s, if that's how you'd like to look at it.  Does that make Me less his Dominant?  I'd like to wish anyone luck convincing Me of that.  [;)]



Lady Pact it needs to be pointed out that your situation(s) are not what's being talked about directly. Your situation(s) began in "real life" well before deployment of the men in your life. The other thing to note is that they are serving our country. Their service doesn't stop, it just changes focus.

And let's talk about the reality of the situation...I get that it's heart breaking to hear someone you love say "I wish I could do x for you right now" when they are deployed, whether it be service oriented or not. There is emotional impact and the primary basis of that emotional impact is that if they weren't deployed they wouldn't be saying it, they'd be doing it...not typing it to you.

quote:

ORIGINAL: marie2

I don't think anyone plans on doing surgery after having merely read a book about it, but all surgeons have studied and/or read about surgery BEFORE actually doing it.



Surgeons also practice on cadavers and spend years with doctors over their shoulders to fix the fuck ups. Would you visit an MD who got his degree from an online only school? Would you like to drive next to someone who got their license by reading about how to drive? Are you interested in forming a relationship with someone who's not ever actually been in an adult relationship....they've only read what it's like?

The information on the net is shotty and inconsistent at best. The value of an actual vanilla relationship v. a virtual relationship of any kind isn't equal. Fuckin around on the net isn't going to prepare someone for what it feels like to watch your partner leave during a fight to cool off. Reading about someone else's death won't ever prepare you for a death in your own family. The emotional impact isn't even comparable.

General: As far as I know, the human body functions on actually getting the beverage and consuming it, not someone typing in that they got you a beverage and you pretending to consume it. There is value not just on intent but the follow through. In cases of military deployment from actual service situations, the intent is there and the ability to perform is there...and eventually, the follow through will occur. When dealing with "online only" situations, there is questionable intent and no follow through. These things don't hold the same value for individuals who actually serve or are served.

boi
Future ruler of the Universe serving MsKitty
Silently plotting the revenge of the swine



Antheia -> RE: "Online" D/s ... how do you feel about it? (5/12/2009 7:42:29 AM)

BoiJen,  When we were online I gave my service to him in the routines he gave me to do daily, the tasks he gave me, the essays I had to write though I hated doing so. And before you or anyone else says well I could of said I did them but didn't yeah true... but if you are going to spend time getting to know someone and having a deep emotional bond with them why lie. Lying can be done in person too such as yes I cleaned the toilet while you were at work Sir , but really you didn't kind of thing.
When I was with him I gave him my unconditional service as I am sure you give too. Often I overdid it and had to be told about it by him :).  Yes I missed that kind of service to him when I had to come back home and I felt that "sub drop" at times severely but this relationship was everything to me. No one can tell me otherwise
Have a great day and take care
A.




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