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marie2 -> RE: "Online" D/s ... how do you feel about it? (5/12/2009 7:53:37 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: BoiJen
Surgeons also practice on cadavers and spend years with doctors over their shoulders to fix the fuck ups. Would you visit an MD who got his degree from an online only school? Would you like to drive next to someone who got their license by reading about how to drive? Are you interested in forming a relationship with someone who's not ever actually been in an adult relationship....they've only read what it's like?
No one is talking about being operated on by a surgeon who has never learned how to do surgery. An no one is talking about swinging a bullwhip at someone's back because they read about HOW to do it on the net.
The OP, Jen, is about having an online ds relationship, it's not about "can you learn to do a cutting or whipping online".
quote:
The information on the net is shotty and inconsistent at best. The value of an actual vanilla relationship v. a virtual relationship of any kind isn't equal. Fuckin around on the net isn't going to prepare someone for what it feels like to watch your partner leave during a fight to cool off. Reading about someone else's death won't ever prepare you for a death in your own family. The emotional impact isn't even comparable.
General: As far as I know, the human body functions on actually getting the beverage and consuming it, not someone typing in that they got you a beverage and you pretending to consume it. There is value not just on intent but the follow through. In cases of military deployment from actual service situations, the intent is there and the ability to perform is there...and eventually, the follow through will occur. When dealing with "online only" situations, there is questionable intent and no follow through. These things don't hold the same value for individuals who actually serve or are served.
And they shouldn't hold the "same value", but to someone else, what THEY do holds value and what you do doesn't interest them in the least.
The assumption that I see in your words is that every person seeks the same type of experience, or that every person should seek the same type of experience.
It (an online ds affair) becomes very easy to understand as soon as you (generic) fathom the idea that not everyone desires the same type of relationships and experiences.
Why bother reading a book if you're never going to meet the author? You read the book to experience whatever enjoyment you wish to have from reading a book. Some people don't have a desire to have a face to face relationship in the physical sense. So what if two people never meet and simply affect each others lives through online communication for as long as it works for them? So it isn't enough for some (or even most) people, but it's everything to someone who only seeks that type of experience.
I personally have no desire to be in an online relationship, yet I don't have any problem wrapping my head around how others might enjoy this, the same way you might enjoy a book, a movie, a pen pal, a porn flick, a soap opera, an online rpg or whatever else. No one is saying that it's comparable or the same thing as what BoiJen does. It's different, but that doesn't make it invalid.
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