Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

When is it "real"?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> When is it "real"? Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
When is it "real"? - 5/11/2009 3:31:46 PM   
Whenready


Posts: 319
Joined: 3/5/2009
Status: offline 		Prompted by the "Online" D/s ... how do you feel about it?" thread, when does a relationship become "real"?

Given the advances in technology, is phone more or less real than PC voice? And so on?

The floor is open...
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: When is it "real"? - 5/11/2009 3:35:10 PM   
tiinkerbell


Posts: 96
Status: offline 		For me, it becomes real the minute I make the decision to pursue a particular person and that interest is returned.

Allison

_____________________________

Allison

- Some People walk in the rain; others just get wet -
Roger Miller

(in reply to Whenready)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: When is it "real"? - 5/11/2009 3:37:09 PM   
SteelofUtah


Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline 		It is real when I believe it is.

For me that requires Bodies Touching and the Smell and Taste of another human being. It can Start online for me but it isn't Real until there is touch.

However I know a guy who has had a commited (Yeah I Promise it REALLY is) relationship with a Woman in Russia for three years ...... He actually taught her english. It is at times a little creepy to me.... like when they fight or I know they are have WebCamSex but you know it works for him.

So Real is all a Matter of the Mind

Steel

_____________________________

Just Steel
Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
For the Uber Posters
Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

(in reply to Whenready)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: When is it "real"? - 5/11/2009 3:37:55 PM   
Whenready


Posts: 319
Joined: 3/5/2009
Status: offline 		Thanks tiinkerbell - that implies (I think) that real does not have to be physical - or face to face - tho it may become so.

(in reply to tiinkerbell)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: When is it "real"? - 5/11/2009 3:40:26 PM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

when does a relationship become "real"?

The second we occupied the same space.
Before that moment we still had the ability to be anything our imaginations desired.

_____________________________



(in reply to Whenready)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: When is it "real"? - 5/11/2009 3:41:28 PM   
tiinkerbell


Posts: 96
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Whenready

Thanks tiinkerbell - that implies (I think) that real does not have to be physical - or face to face - tho it may become so.

Yes to a point.
Real is a subjective term, it means different things to different people.

Naturally, in the basic sense, real could mean face to face; body to body.
Yet, it can also mean that 'Ok, this has a chance to go somewhere, how serious am I?" If the answer is 'very serious' then it becomes real to me.

Allison

_____________________________

Allison

- Some People walk in the rain; others just get wet -
Roger Miller

(in reply to Whenready)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: When is it "real"? - 5/11/2009 3:42:43 PM   
SteelofUtah


Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

The second we occupied the same space.


So it wasn't real untill you did the Nasty huh? That is the only way I know to Occupy the same space..

Which leads me to my next question Aileen just how many REAL people are there in this world?

Steel

_____________________________

Just Steel
Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
For the Uber Posters
Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

(in reply to Aileen1968)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: When is it "real"? - 5/11/2009 3:44:32 PM   
Whenready


Posts: 319
Joined: 3/5/2009
Status: offline 		SteelofUtah: So Real is all a Matter of the Mind

Aileen1968: The second we occupied the same space.

headspace? mindspace? physical place? I'm not decrying the attraction - or desirability - of the physical - but - those definitions seem to suggest that the physical is not (in every case) essential?

(in reply to Aileen1968)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: When is it "real"? - 5/11/2009 3:44:43 PM   
Fitznicely


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline 		I'd have to agree, for me it's real when they're standing in front of me.

_____________________________

I tell you this: No eternal reward will forgive us now for wasting the dawn
Proud Owner of Darkmoonkat. Such a good girl!

(in reply to tiinkerbell)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: When is it "real"? - 5/11/2009 3:45:27 PM   
Daddyluvsitrough


Posts: 16
Joined: 5/11/2009
Status: offline 		It depends on what sort of relationship you are trying to define as real ... so for me I'd have to define the relationship first.  Some people may not view offline, real-meet BDSM relationships as legitimate unless they are full-blown TPE 24-7. 

Really it depends on the people involved and what they want out of it.  My personal opinion is that I don't consider my own relationship with a submissive a "real" BDSM relationship until I've stood in front of her face to face, smelled her skin and felt her hair in my hands.  Others may feel fulfilled by reading an email - whatever works for the individuals involved I guess.



(in reply to Whenready)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: When is it "real"? - 5/11/2009 3:48:29 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		When someone waxes poetic about how she feels when she kneels at her master's feet, and yet he is 3,000 miles away and they have never met, I can't take that REAL seriously. 


Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to Daddyluvsitrough)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: When is it "real"? - 5/11/2009 3:49:17 PM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

The second we occupied the same space.


So it wasn't real untill you did the Nasty huh? That is the only way I know to Occupy the same space..

Which leads me to my next question Aileen just how many REAL people are there in this world?

Steel


No, not quite. Don't be so literal with the occupying the same space line. I think you can learn one hundred times more about someone within five minutes of physically meeting them than you can spending five months online talking. It became real for me the second I got into his truck and talked to him.

_____________________________



(in reply to SteelofUtah)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: When is it "real"? - 5/11/2009 3:50:46 PM   
tearz4him


Posts: 1
Joined: 5/8/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Whenready

Prompted by the "Online" D/s ... how do you feel about it?" thread, when does a relationship become "real"?

Given the advances in technology, is phone more or less real than PC voice? And so on?

The floor is open...


For me, real is when I feel it.  That does not mean physically, but that feeling deep within.  The one that shouts I am on the right track.  Just a little bit ago I would have answered differently. 


(in reply to Whenready)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: When is it "real"? - 5/11/2009 3:55:15 PM   
SteelofUtah


Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968


quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

The second we occupied the same space.


So it wasn't real untill you did the Nasty huh? That is the only way I know to Occupy the same space..

Which leads me to my next question Aileen just how many REAL people are there in this world?

Steel


No, not quite. Don't be so literal with the occupying the same space line. I think you can learn one hundred times more about someone within five minutes of physically meeting them than you can spending five months online talking. It became real for me the second I got into his truck and talked to him.


I agree with you ..... was giving you shit.

It's like for me I know everything I really need to know about a person in the first 5 minutes of talking to them to know if I want to persue a relationship with them.

Sure sometimes I am wrong about the read but you know.....

How much do you really need to know to know you want to get to know someone?

Steel

_____________________________

Just Steel
Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
The Steel Warm-Up © ™
For the Uber Posters
Thanks for the Grammatical support : ) ~ Term

(in reply to Aileen1968)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: When is it "real"? - 5/11/2009 3:58:40 PM   
TaoWoman


Posts: 140
Joined: 2/27/2009
From: Kpe'me', Togo
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968


. I think you can learn one hundred times more about someone within five minutes of physically meeting them than you can spending five months online talking.


Absolutely!


_____________________________

The Teacher who is wise does not bid you to enter the house of his wisdom but rather leads you to the threshold of your own mind~

Kahlil Gibran

(in reply to Aileen1968)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: When is it "real"? - 5/11/2009 4:03:16 PM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah

I agree with you ..... was giving you shit.

It's like for me I know everything I really need to know about a person in the first 5 minutes of talking to them to know if I want to persue a relationship with them.

Sure sometimes I am wrong about the read but you know.....

How much do you really need to know to know you want to get to know someone?

Steel


Well I'm stupidly slow tonight....
I'm the same way with the five minute concept. It's actually about a thirty second concept for me.
I usually knew by the end of "hello"

_____________________________



(in reply to SteelofUtah)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: When is it "real"? - 5/11/2009 4:31:42 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		For me real is when we meet face to face more than once but numerous times...kinda like dating in the flesh.

(in reply to Aileen1968)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: When is it "real"? - 5/11/2009 4:48:37 PM   
MarcEsadrian


Posts: 852
Joined: 8/24/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Whenready
Prompted by the "Online" D/s ... how do you feel about it?" thread, when does a relationship become "real"?

Given the advances in technology, is phone more or less real than PC voice? And so on?


When is a mere relationship real? When there is relational context—no matter how subtle the form—between two or more parties.

Regarding remote contact, there is quite a bit that can be shared and exchanged between minds by voice alone. Be that as it may, is it natural for humans to remain crystallized in this form of interaction? Certainly not. With a nod to the intriguing anecdotes of penpalmanship from days of old between Kings and Queens and lovers, the "long distance relationship" we know of today is an entirely new phenomenon brought on by telecommunications and computers. The last million or so years of human history would show that we are naturally tactile creatures; physical togetherness plays a crucial role in socialization and personal context, not just romantic interests. When I take a client out to lunch, I do so not to seal more deals for work, but to maintain connection. Being that my occupation is strictly digital, it's all too easy to become a simple voice or thread of pixel text that exists in the netherworld of the wire. Sitting down with my clients, eating with them, hanging out with them, shaking their hands and looking them in the eye reminds them (and I) that I (and they) are human. An elementary idea—and one we of course already know in an academic sense—but without that physical connection, an entire dimension is lost. In the end, I don't see it any differently when it comes to romantic and / or D/s pursuits online. The internet is a wonderful place to manifest oneself and reach outward in a myriad different directions, but this is no place to linger once a connection has been made. Not for too long, that is.



< Message edited by MarcEsadrian -- 5/11/2009 4:50:47 PM >

(in reply to Whenready)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: When is it "real"? - 5/11/2009 4:49:15 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline 		FR

for me, its real when they make a difference in my off line life. until that moment, they are just pixels on a screen or a nice voice on the other end of the connection.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: When is it "real"? - 5/11/2009 5:30:54 PM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		For me real is face to face.
Online is nice but there is no substitute for cane on my flesh, or waking up next to him.

(in reply to tazzygirl)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2 3   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> When is it "real"? Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.110