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When is it "real"? - 5/11/2009 3:31:46 PM   
Whenready


Posts: 319
Joined: 3/5/2009
Status: offline 		Prompted by the "Online" D/s ... how do you feel about it?" thread, when does a relationship become "real"?

Given the advances in technology, is phone more or less real than PC voice? And so on?

The floor is open...
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RE: When is it "real"? - 5/11/2009 3:35:10 PM   
tiinkerbell


Posts: 96
Status: offline 		For me, it becomes real the minute I make the decision to pursue a particular person and that interest is returned.

Allison

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RE: When is it "real"? - 5/11/2009 3:37:09 PM   
SteelofUtah


Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline 		It is real when I believe it is.

For me that requires Bodies Touching and the Smell and Taste of another human being. It can Start online for me but it isn't Real until there is touch.

However I know a guy who has had a commited (Yeah I Promise it REALLY is) relationship with a Woman in Russia for three years ...... He actually taught her english. It is at times a little creepy to me.... like when they fight or I know they are have WebCamSex but you know it works for him.

So Real is all a Matter of the Mind

Steel

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RE: When is it "real"? - 5/11/2009 3:37:55 PM   
Whenready


Posts: 319
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Status: offline 		Thanks tiinkerbell - that implies (I think) that real does not have to be physical - or face to face - tho it may become so.

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RE: When is it "real"? - 5/11/2009 3:40:26 PM   
Aileen1968


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quote:

when does a relationship become "real"?

The second we occupied the same space.
Before that moment we still had the ability to be anything our imaginations desired.

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RE: When is it "real"? - 5/11/2009 3:41:28 PM   
tiinkerbell


Posts: 96
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Whenready

Thanks tiinkerbell - that implies (I think) that real does not have to be physical - or face to face - tho it may become so.

Yes to a point.
Real is a subjective term, it means different things to different people.

Naturally, in the basic sense, real could mean face to face; body to body.
Yet, it can also mean that 'Ok, this has a chance to go somewhere, how serious am I?" If the answer is 'very serious' then it becomes real to me.

Allison

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RE: When is it "real"? - 5/11/2009 3:42:43 PM   
SteelofUtah


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

The second we occupied the same space.


So it wasn't real untill you did the Nasty huh? That is the only way I know to Occupy the same space..

Which leads me to my next question Aileen just how many REAL people are there in this world?

Steel

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RE: When is it "real"? - 5/11/2009 3:44:32 PM   
Whenready


Posts: 319
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Status: offline 		SteelofUtah: So Real is all a Matter of the Mind

Aileen1968: The second we occupied the same space.

headspace? mindspace? physical place? I'm not decrying the attraction - or desirability - of the physical - but - those definitions seem to suggest that the physical is not (in every case) essential?

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RE: When is it "real"? - 5/11/2009 3:44:43 PM   
Fitznicely


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Status: offline 		I'd have to agree, for me it's real when they're standing in front of me.

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RE: When is it "real"? - 5/11/2009 3:45:27 PM   
Daddyluvsitrough


Posts: 16
Joined: 5/11/2009
Status: offline 		It depends on what sort of relationship you are trying to define as real ... so for me I'd have to define the relationship first.  Some people may not view offline, real-meet BDSM relationships as legitimate unless they are full-blown TPE 24-7. 

Really it depends on the people involved and what they want out of it.  My personal opinion is that I don't consider my own relationship with a submissive a "real" BDSM relationship until I've stood in front of her face to face, smelled her skin and felt her hair in my hands.  Others may feel fulfilled by reading an email - whatever works for the individuals involved I guess.



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RE: When is it "real"? - 5/11/2009 3:48:29 PM   
CalifChick


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From: California
Status: offline 		When someone waxes poetic about how she feels when she kneels at her master's feet, and yet he is 3,000 miles away and they have never met, I can't take that REAL seriously. 


Cali


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RE: When is it "real"? - 5/11/2009 3:49:17 PM   
Aileen1968


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quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

The second we occupied the same space.


So it wasn't real untill you did the Nasty huh? That is the only way I know to Occupy the same space..

Which leads me to my next question Aileen just how many REAL people are there in this world?

Steel


No, not quite. Don't be so literal with the occupying the same space line. I think you can learn one hundred times more about someone within five minutes of physically meeting them than you can spending five months online talking. It became real for me the second I got into his truck and talked to him.

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RE: When is it "real"? - 5/11/2009 3:50:46 PM   
tearz4him


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Joined: 5/8/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Whenready

Prompted by the "Online" D/s ... how do you feel about it?" thread, when does a relationship become "real"?

Given the advances in technology, is phone more or less real than PC voice? And so on?

The floor is open...


For me, real is when I feel it.  That does not mean physically, but that feeling deep within.  The one that shouts I am on the right track.  Just a little bit ago I would have answered differently. 


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RE: When is it "real"? - 5/11/2009 3:55:15 PM   
SteelofUtah


Posts: 5307
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From: St George Utah
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968


quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

The second we occupied the same space.


So it wasn't real untill you did the Nasty huh? That is the only way I know to Occupy the same space..

Which leads me to my next question Aileen just how many REAL people are there in this world?

Steel


No, not quite. Don't be so literal with the occupying the same space line. I think you can learn one hundred times more about someone within five minutes of physically meeting them than you can spending five months online talking. It became real for me the second I got into his truck and talked to him.


I agree with you ..... was giving you shit.

It's like for me I know everything I really need to know about a person in the first 5 minutes of talking to them to know if I want to persue a relationship with them.

Sure sometimes I am wrong about the read but you know.....

How much do you really need to know to know you want to get to know someone?

Steel

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RE: When is it "real"? - 5/11/2009 3:58:40 PM   
TaoWoman


Posts: 140
Joined: 2/27/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968


. I think you can learn one hundred times more about someone within five minutes of physically meeting them than you can spending five months online talking.


Absolutely!


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RE: When is it "real"? - 5/11/2009 4:03:16 PM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
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From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah

I agree with you ..... was giving you shit.

It's like for me I know everything I really need to know about a person in the first 5 minutes of talking to them to know if I want to persue a relationship with them.

Sure sometimes I am wrong about the read but you know.....

How much do you really need to know to know you want to get to know someone?

Steel


Well I'm stupidly slow tonight....
I'm the same way with the five minute concept. It's actually about a thirty second concept for me.
I usually knew by the end of "hello"

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RE: When is it "real"? - 5/11/2009 4:31:42 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		For me real is when we meet face to face more than once but numerous times...kinda like dating in the flesh.

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RE: When is it "real"? - 5/11/2009 4:48:37 PM   
MarcEsadrian


Posts: 852
Joined: 8/24/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Whenready
Prompted by the "Online" D/s ... how do you feel about it?" thread, when does a relationship become "real"?

Given the advances in technology, is phone more or less real than PC voice? And so on?


When is a mere relationship real? When there is relational context—no matter how subtle the form—between two or more parties.

Regarding remote contact, there is quite a bit that can be shared and exchanged between minds by voice alone. Be that as it may, is it natural for humans to remain crystallized in this form of interaction? Certainly not. With a nod to the intriguing anecdotes of penpalmanship from days of old between Kings and Queens and lovers, the "long distance relationship" we know of today is an entirely new phenomenon brought on by telecommunications and computers. The last million or so years of human history would show that we are naturally tactile creatures; physical togetherness plays a crucial role in socialization and personal context, not just romantic interests. When I take a client out to lunch, I do so not to seal more deals for work, but to maintain connection. Being that my occupation is strictly digital, it's all too easy to become a simple voice or thread of pixel text that exists in the netherworld of the wire. Sitting down with my clients, eating with them, hanging out with them, shaking their hands and looking them in the eye reminds them (and I) that I (and they) are human. An elementary idea—and one we of course already know in an academic sense—but without that physical connection, an entire dimension is lost. In the end, I don't see it any differently when it comes to romantic and / or D/s pursuits online. The internet is a wonderful place to manifest oneself and reach outward in a myriad different directions, but this is no place to linger once a connection has been made. Not for too long, that is.



< Message edited by MarcEsadrian -- 5/11/2009 4:50:47 PM >

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RE: When is it "real"? - 5/11/2009 4:49:15 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline 		FR

for me, its real when they make a difference in my off line life. until that moment, they are just pixels on a screen or a nice voice on the other end of the connection.

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RE: When is it "real"? - 5/11/2009 5:30:54 PM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		For me real is face to face.
Online is nice but there is no substitute for cane on my flesh, or waking up next to him.

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