AAkasha -> RE: How sadistic are you? (5/11/2009 9:04:58 PM)
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When all is said and done, I consider myself more of a "top and a sadist" or "bondage top" specifically than a "serve me" type femdom, but at the same time, I have pretty high standards of maintenance - but it's not that I get any sexual or erotic thrill from it, or even feel "contented" by it - I just am not domestic, but I am happy to take the role of workaholic in exchange for having a domestic partner. My dominance of him, however, is all physical and sensual - not in a "wash my clothes, bitch!" kind of way. That said, I guess I am in the minority in that I don't MIND if a guy is not a mashocist, and I actually get a bit of a rush if I know he's not, and he's doing it for me. In addition, the more self indulgent a masochist is in his bottoming, the less I get my buttons pushed. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE just delivering a great beating/torture to a total painslut so long as he is reactive, but it does NOT scratch the same itch as when I see a man suffer or endure for me not because he likes pain, but because he likes what his pain does for me. He likes to suffer - for me. I've had hardcore masochist partners, however, that have pushed my buttons FAR more effectively than totally self-sacrificing non-masochists, too. In the end, chemistry trumps all. When I fantasize though, and when I get my juices flowing, the dynamic is clearly a man who doesn't seek out pain for the sake of pain, or seek out acts of fear, helplessness and desperation; rather, he is hopelessly drawn to them by the affect it has on me, and how intense and exciting it is to endure that for my pleasure and sexual arousal. He does end up craving it, but craving it for me, not for himself. Might just be a matter of semantics when it all boils down to it. Akasha
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