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RE: Pretty words = Red flag? - 5/18/2009 10:51:11 AM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Phoenixpower

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

A good sweet talker... who fully means what he says... who backs it up... woohooo!  Let me eat you up!  So I guess that because the sincere are so good and tastee... the not so sincere are playing off the sincere and our wishful thinking. lol


Yep...unfortunately...


Awww... lol... I can relate... to the good and the bad and wishful thinking a time or two.  The good-bad one's have quite the game goin! lol

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Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Pretty words = Red flag? - 5/18/2009 10:53:03 AM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		A few months ago, I decided that, while I might approach a variety of women for play, in terms of pursuing something potentially serious, I was only going to flirt with dominant women fairly close to my own age.  So I've been writing to femdoms on this site, and I'm getting nearly a 100% response rate.  Sometimes these responses are a version of "thanks but no thanks," but it looks as though I'm developing a few new friends at the very least.

I don't have much info on my profile here, and that doesn't seem necessary.  Pretty much what I've been doing is I read either a post or journal entry that intrigues me, and then I write her and say a few things about her post or journal entry.  Usually I don't mention her pics at all.  The lady's message back to me is often a version of, "Wow, it's nice to have a real conversation with someone for a change."

I think it's important that I'm writing about journal entries and not profile text, or photos.  It makes me stand out immediately.  So I could recommend to men who feel as though they are lost in the crowded inbox that they write sweet/sincere words, but about her mind and thoughts, not her body.


_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

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Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Pretty words = Red flag? - 5/18/2009 10:54:54 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		<Gasp!>  I've been duped!

Oh well.  I'd probably still enjoy beating your ass.  LOL.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Pretty words = Red flag? - 5/18/2009 10:55:01 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		I managed a nightclub for too long. Too many years working with the public. Yes I know I am not terribly hard on the eyes. Good genetics, so what.

Pretty words instantly send a red flag up. If I am feeling magnanimous I give them a "Thank you." Otherwise I totally ignore it.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Pretty words = Red flag? - 5/18/2009 10:55:25 AM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		As long as the words don't go like this... I think you are so smart... god a smart woman turns me on... I get so hard thinking of a smart woman dominanting me! hehe

Red... you are a gem!  A lot of men would do well to listen to you!  Thank you!

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


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Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Pretty words = Red flag? - 5/18/2009 10:56:44 AM   
Phoenixpower


Posts: 8098
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

I don't get annoyed by the emails... I actually get a laugh out of them thinking that they think that is going to work.  They haven't read my full profile and I know that... part of it at most, but they haven't read the whole thing.

I require substance and if all I get is a response to what I say without any input and lots of pretty words... then I get bored rather quickly! lol



which is why I started to put a list in my journal for reasons why people might not get a response and might get blocked...I am too tired of guys not reading the profile with contacting me as sub, wrong age, wrong country, etc...by now I can't be bothered to reply anymore and only do the block and delete button...seriously, I do have a life beside the internet with uni and work and don't need to talk with guys who don't even bother to read my profile and if they do so don't bother to take it seriously!!! I remember one bloke who ended up blaming me for the fact that I am serious about kids at some point...(as he had 2 kids with his ex and due to gene incompatibility - as he stated it - they had some health issues)...so I am not even risking anymomre to go down that way with anyone...if someone is so obviously not bothered to read my profile and still bothers to contact me despite obvious incompatibility...then I can't be bothered to waste my time with him...no thank you but there I am a Domina by now.

_____________________________

RIP 08-09-07

The PAST is history, the FUTURE a mystery, NOW is a gift - that's why it's called the PRESENT

www.butyoudontlooksick.com/navigation/BYDLS-TheSpoonTheory.pdf

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Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Pretty words = Red flag? - 5/18/2009 10:58:41 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

A few months ago, I decided that, while I might approach a variety of women for play, in terms of pursuing something potentially serious, I was only going to flirt with dominant women fairly close to my own age.  So I've been writing to femdoms on this site, and I'm getting nearly a 100% response rate.  Sometimes these responses are a version of "thanks but no thanks," but it looks as though I'm developing a few new friends at the very least.

I don't have much info on my profile here, and that doesn't seem necessary.  Pretty much what I've been doing is I read either a post or journal entry that intrigues me, and then I write her and say a few things about her post or journal entry.  Usually I don't mention her pics at all.  The lady's message back to me is often a version of, "Wow, it's nice to have a real conversation with someone for a change."

I think it's important that I'm writing about journal entries and not profile text, or photos.  It makes me stand out immediately.  So I could recommend to men who feel as though they are lost in the crowded inbox that they write sweet/sincere words, but about her mind and thoughts, not her body.



Le sigh.  And to think I could have had my way with you and didn't...

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



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Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Pretty words = Red flag? - 5/18/2009 10:59:43 AM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

I managed a nightclub for too long. Too many years working with the public. Yes I know I am not terribly hard on the eyes. Good genetics, so what.

Pretty words instantly send a red flag up. If I am feeling magnanimous I give them a "Thank you." Otherwise I totally ignore it.



LaT... this brings up a good point for me at least.  I did a lot of years waitressing or bartending and omg! the things said and tried! lol  I totally forgot that!

When I took over the shelter I was in the paper a lot and did public appearances... after each I would be bombarded with calls, visits and attempts to get close to the director with offers of shopping trips for the shelter and such.  Many tried the angle of.. I love what you are doing and want to help.  Help themselves was more like it! lol  I remember making a rule... you shop alone.. I don't go with you.  As well as a few rules on how things were dropped off... because I was too busy to play games and sit with a donator for an hour in my office fending off other offers! lol

Maybe I am a jaded one! hehe

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


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Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Pretty words = Red flag? - 5/18/2009 11:00:55 AM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

<Gasp!>  I've been duped!

Oh well.  I'd probably still enjoy beating your ass.  LOL.


I know you're joking, but my point is that it's not a "game."  I only write people I'm actually, you know, interested in -- because they said something that interested me.  It seems to me that if I know a lot of interesting people, who happen to be female, kinky and single -- well, hey.

And I've never written you to hit on you, LP, because you're married -- though I do seem to recall some mutual, "Wouldn't it be interesting if..." never-gonna-happen emails.


_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Pretty words = Red flag? - 5/18/2009 11:08:08 AM   
Phoenixpower


Posts: 8098
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1
"Wow, it's nice to have a real conversation with someone for a change."


That is so damn true and I guess the reason why I started to nikname my current contact as Mr. Adorable...because independent of the fact if it ever works out with him or not...I have never met someone as much down to earth on here as him which felt incredible refreshing to me. In january I explained him a heck of a lot about me and I was stunned that he actually did read all that stuff and even more stunned that it was obvious he even "got it." So a guy who actually uses his "brain" to think and not something below his belt instead...

And therefore Mr. Adorable felt the right way for me to nikname him because for me he is adorable and he did show me so much manners and respect...why should I mention his profile name when we aren't together yet?! Some people know whose profile it is but the majority not and so because of the respect he gives and gave me I almost felt the need to give him such a form of respect as well with not naming him that directly in my posts yet....so if we don't work out we can still be happily active on the boards without anyone having a feeling of blame but also nobody having the feeling of being pressurised "to make it work" either. 

For me simply with being that down to earth and spot on in his responses he is my Mr. Adorable independent from if it works out or not because if it does not work out then I don't feel the need of blaming him in any way as he behaved himself incredible well towards me

So yes, real conversations and not just being approached as "you do what you are told" helps a lot to get credit!!!

< Message edited by Phoenixpower -- 5/18/2009 11:26:52 AM >

_____________________________

RIP 08-09-07

The PAST is history, the FUTURE a mystery, NOW is a gift - that's why it's called the PRESENT

www.butyoudontlooksick.com/navigation/BYDLS-TheSpoonTheory.pdf

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Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Pretty words = Red flag? - 5/18/2009 11:14:40 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

<Gasp!>  I've been duped!

Oh well.  I'd probably still enjoy beating your ass.  LOL.


I know you're joking, but my point is that it's not a "game."  I only write people I'm actually, you know, interested in -- because they said something that interested me.  It seems to me that if I know a lot of interesting people, who happen to be female, kinky and single -- well, hey.

And I've never written you to hit on you, LP, because you're married -- though I do seem to recall some mutual, "Wouldn't it be interesting if..." never-gonna-happen emails.



Yes, it was a joke, but how could you blame Me?  You left the barn door wide open.

It brings up a good point though.  I'd much rather be contacted from an interest, rather than a compliment.  I know what I look like.  I know I have a sense of humor, and I know that on rare occasions, there are enough active brain cells firing in My head to be considered intelligent.

The compliments are nice and all, but they really don't lead to anything as far as a conversation.  Other than "thank you" what else can you really get?

Someone else mentioned this, but it's worth saying again for emphasis.  Sending the compliments doesn't make anyone the exception to the rule for preferences listed in the profile. 


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Pretty words = Red flag? - 5/18/2009 11:25:50 AM   
ThatDamnedPanda


Posts: 6060
Joined: 1/26/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

As a submissive man, most on these boards regularly, I don’t see using pretty words to get somewhere… but if there are any reading that use pretty words or compliments when you contact a dominant… why do you do this?


Because that's the way I look at people. I look for the good of them first, and because that's the first thing I look for, it's usually the first thing I see.


quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit
Think about it… and tell us your side of things.  Do you see a dominant seeing compliments as a red flag as wrong somehow or ?



Absolutely. But then, I highly doubt  you and i are talking about the same thing. That's never happened to me, so I'm assumimg there's something about the way I compliment people that comes across as sincere. I'm further assuming - and feel quite safe in doing so - that for the guys you're talking about, there's something about the way they communicate that comes across as anything but sincere, and it's the subtext as much as the explicit wording that sends up your red flags. If I were to write someone and say something  nice, and her first reaction was that simply because I'm saying something nice I'm being insincere, I would feel that I was fortunate that it only took me one e-mail to find out how differently we look at things. My compliments are generally so benign and (I like to think) grounded, they aren't likely to hit the triggers you're talking about.

You brilliant, ingeniously articulate, sexy thing you.


_____________________________

Panda, panda, burning bright
In the forest of the night
What immortal hand or eye
Made you all black and white and roly-poly like that?


(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Pretty words = Red flag? - 5/18/2009 11:30:07 AM   
subtlebutterfly


Posts: 2230
Joined: 6/15/2008
From: Not your hood
Status: offline 		From a female viewpoint.....wellllllllll the only time I contact a person is either due to their journal or pic so if it's da pic I compliment them on it, if it's the journal i tell my opinion of it. However.. I don't expect an answer n I'm not doing it to woo the person in question.


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Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Pretty words = Red flag? - 5/18/2009 11:31:05 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		I am still chuckling over the last line in Panda's post.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to subtlebutterfly)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Pretty words = Red flag? - 5/18/2009 11:31:52 AM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		lol Panda!

I rarely take a compliment in a first email as insincere unless it is blatant.  I will say thank you to most and maybe will sometimes ask for them to give a little detail on what they found so wonderful in my profile or whatever.  Typically I don't get many answers back unless they actually go to my profile and read it! lol  But I have gotten a lot of sincere compliments and they came from someone who really read my profile and like I said... had those qualifier's that explained why they felt the way they did.

I have also thanked some for making me smile and making my day because they were sincere! lol

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


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Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Pretty words = Red flag? - 5/18/2009 11:41:46 AM   
ThatDamnedPanda


Posts: 6060
Joined: 1/26/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

lol Panda!

I rarely take a compliment in a first email as insincere unless it is blatant.  I will say thank you to most and maybe will sometimes ask for them to give a little detail on what they found so wonderful in my profile or whatever.  Typically I don't get many answers back unless they actually go to my profile and read it! lol  But I have gotten a lot of sincere compliments and they came from someone who really read my profile and like I said... had those qualifier's that explained why they felt the way they did.


Perhaps that's why I'm not aware of anyone ever mistaking one of my compliments for insincerity - I tend to be verbose, and rarely shut up until I've fully explained my point. Which is probably as true of my compliments as it is of anything else I write. If I send someone an e-mail and tell her I think, for example, that she's very intelligent, I'm invariably going to explain why. By the time she's done wading through the e-mail, she'll at least know I'm not just pulling crap out of thin air because I think it sounds nice.


_____________________________

Panda, panda, burning bright
In the forest of the night
What immortal hand or eye
Made you all black and white and roly-poly like that?


(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Pretty words = Red flag? - 5/18/2009 11:42:20 AM   
FullfigRIMAAM1


Posts: 1160
Joined: 11/20/2008
Status: offline 		Hey Lockit, I laughed when I saw your post, because I'm beginning to think all profiles with statements of how honest, anti-game, and god fearing they are, belong to folks in east bum phuck, who say they live in some well known US city/state, but is working overseas...   So, yes I am becoming just a wee bit cynical with the !!!Scammer Alert!!! in my head.   

There probably are folks who are frustrated with lying, game playing, non-believers (LMAO) online, who are honestly seeking something different.   However, it's became a case of the "the lady doth protest too much" most of the time.   
There is no point in becoming cynical and attracting more of what one fears though.   I say, trust them all (as long as they have verifiable US information), and let the chips fall where they may.     M

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Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Pretty words = Red flag? - 5/18/2009 11:57:19 AM   
MistressDolly


Posts: 917
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline 		Just trust in your intuition to decipher between sincere compliments and adulation. Besides, no sense making an issue out of it: one day it will all stop completely.

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m y s p a c e


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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Pretty words = Red flag? - 5/18/2009 12:20:03 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		I don't think it is too hard to see the sincere from the insincere.  Some may take a little longer than other's, but it becomes clear in time. lol  Now some I have known have irritated me to the point of... ahhh... you wished to play a game with me eh? lol  And I have been known to toss the game right back at them with their own words.  In other words.. call them on the game.  I think it is funny sometimes when they tried so hard and got no where.  Oh on some days I might get tired of the game, but hey, I am still here! lol

I've met some really wonderful people on this site!  I've met some players too... but the one's that are sincere... tend to be someone who can email at any time even if it has been months and we pick up right where we left off... joking and talking about life in general.  It's actually more fun than not... because you just have to laugh some of this off and enjoy the mix.  And I do! lol



_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


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Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Pretty words = Red flag? - 5/18/2009 12:21:51 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		Ah ma cherie, your eyes, they set my SOUL on fire . . . .  OK, that only works if the man is in a tux and he's just danced the tango with her.  But one day, I'm going to use it, and I hope to God I don't have bad breath at the time . . . .

Gawd, Lockit, I have to support Mistress Dolly here.  Sometimes the pretty words are going to be chaff, but you're sharp enough to sort the wheat from the chaff.  And let's face it - you dominas get enough of the ugly words from ugly men, don't you?



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(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 40
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