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RE: Pretty words = Red flag? - 5/18/2009 10:15:55 PM

GreedyTop

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Dammit, Polite..now that song is stuck in my head!! (of course, it's replaced the Bridge on the River Kwai theme, so maybe it's not such a bad thing....lol)

RED!! DARLING MAN!! loads of love and best wishes for a fantastic birthday!!

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RE: Pretty words = Red flag? - 5/18/2009 10:21:39 PM

frankieboy52

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i don't have any particular agenda with the lone exception when the time comes..to belong to someone and serve their needs...and if i choose to say at some point that your eyes are beautiful or your smile is intoxicating and you are already building a fortress of doom against me...then what is the point???Actions speak louder than words but how can one act without building a solid foundation of words that are meant to be exactly what comes from one's mouth??I had a Domina e-mail me recently and she told me not to get my shorts in a bunch but that she was just perving me.Having known her through these boards over the years iwrote back and said perv me all you like..i took the statement as something she said from her heart and as a compliment....i don't think for a second she has an agenda to sweet talk me or even get to know me better than she does...and for what it's worth...yes Lockit you have nice eyes and BSB you have a great smile.There i have complimented you both..now don't go raising any flags ok??

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RE: Pretty words = Red flag? - 5/18/2009 11:38:28 PM

undergroundsea

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

I am glad you enjoyed it :)

Cheers,

Sea

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RE: Pretty words = Red flag? - 5/19/2009 1:23:02 AM

Politesub53

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quote:

ORIGINAL: FullfigRIMAAM1

P.S. Are you trying to share some of your less common kinks with us?
quote:

Politesub53
only to have it spring back in our face like a wet fish. ( Not actually had a wet fish hit me in the face but im hoping..lol )

Ha, Thats just a common fantasy of mine Ma`am. You really dont wish to know the uncommon one.

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RE: Pretty words = Red flag? - 5/19/2009 4:45:20 AM

FullfigRIMAAM1

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So, you're about to tell us some of your less common kinks, now that you've made me curious? M

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RE: Pretty words = Red flag? - 5/19/2009 6:24:26 AM

OttersSwim

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quote:

ORIGINAL: FullfigRIMAAM1

So, you're about to tell us some of your less common kinks, now that you've made me curious? M

I'm guessing that there is one that involves a coffee cup...

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RE: Pretty words = Red flag? - 5/19/2009 8:51:18 AM

ShaktiSama

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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn

I think I tend to suffer from the opposite behavior of the pretty words dilemma. I'm very much not a fan of insincerity and because of that I avoid making comments that seem generated more for vanity than for necessity. I tend to think that a beautiful woman is probably going to hear from people that she's beautiful all of the time, so repeating it myself makes me feel like I'm acting like a cad rather than sincere.

Just as an aside--beautiful women DO hear "you're beautiful" all the time. They usually hear it from people who don't know them and don't care to know them, who are attracted only to the surface, and who want to use them for something sleazy and cheap.

Hearing the words sincerely spoken by a man who actually cares for you is a very different, and very necessary thing. The opinions of strangers don't matter much, especially when most of them will do a complete 180 and start calling you "ugly" names the minute you say no to sex. I would never want to be involved with a man who did not think I was beautiful and was not able to say so, sincerely and freely, when he felt it. Keep this in mind; actions DO count, and speaking is an action. Words can be used for more than lying and manipulation.

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RE: Pretty words = Red flag? - 5/19/2009 9:01:10 AM

LaTigresse

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Another thing that came to mind after reading ShaktiSama's post. Yes, beautiful women do hear it all the time and for some, it becomes a burden.

They play tapes in their mind. "Yes, I am beautiful now, but what about ten or twenty years from now? Will I still be beautiful to them then? What if my physical beauty is the only thing they loved? What about when I am sick? What if I gain weight? What if I do something silly?"........and on and on.

Some of the most beautiful women I've known have also been, at some level, the most insecure and troubled. One even died because of her obsession to maintain her beauty. There were so many other qualities about her, that made her amazing in my eyes, but so few people even cared.

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RE: Pretty words = Red flag? - 5/19/2009 9:39:10 AM

Lockit

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I think whatever I am hearing is balanced out by who is saying it. Saying I am smart or attractive from a stranger can be nice, but often puts me on hold waiting for the next things out of their mouths. A stranger is far different than someone I know and appreciate. Someone I value saying something wonderful to me is a great thing. Someone who is trying to get to know me is someone I need to see more from... I need more depth than to hear what many have said before, whether they meant it or not.

If my partner never comments on my appearance in any way, I will wonder what he thinks. We all wish for a partner to feel we are attractive or sexy to them somehow. Hearing it from a stranger just doesn't mean the same thing! If a partner never says a word, then I want to know what the deal is.

I would rather hear I love you... I think you are sexy or whatever in actions. Words can mean a lot, but actions for me speak much louder. When I see that someone wants to please me and goes out of his way to do so... that speaks of love. When he watches me do something around the house and just can't resist and gets excited just watching me... I know he thinks I am sexy. But it is also nice to hear, you look nice today or mmmm you smell good... I see that sparkle in your eyes! Those things will get a response! And a good one!

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RE: Pretty words = Red flag? - 5/19/2009 11:55:31 AM

Politesub53

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quote:

ORIGINAL: FullfigRIMAAM1

So, you're about to tell us some of your less common kinks, now that you've made me curious? M

What ..... And ruin the suprise.

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RE: Pretty words = Red flag? - 5/19/2009 1:20:24 PM

CatdeMedici

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I don't hear it anymore, because I'm not--I get that, its ok for people to say its whats inside that counts, I am a very beautiful person inside but at times its pretty damn lonely when there isn't on occasion a knowing look, a whistle or some indication I am--that's why I dont put a picture, got tired of the insults.

That's how I can tell when someone has never even read My profile.." you are so beautiful.." Yeah right.

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RE: Pretty words = Red flag? - 5/19/2009 1:46:16 PM

FullfigRIMAAM1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: OttersSwim
I'm guessing that there is one that involves a coffee cup...

Thanks Otters.... Let me try and remember who said she's into that.

M

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RE: Pretty words = Red flag? - 5/19/2009 2:38:52 PM

ShaktiSama

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse
Some of the most beautiful women I've known have also been, at some level, the most insecure and troubled. One even died because of her obsession to maintain her beauty. There were so many other qualities about her, that made her amazing in my eyes, but so few people even cared.

I have seen the same. I've also seen beautiful women who come to resent their outward appearance and start performing acts of self-vandalism to sabotage it, out of a vengeful desire to destroy the only thing that others value.

I still remember a horribly tragic story from Charles Bukowski on that subject. It reminded me of one or two women I had known.

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RE: Pretty words = Red flag? - 5/21/2009 3:10:54 PM

SthrnCom4t

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Insecurities are not exclusive to gender or orientation, and it's fortunate when people learn that security comes from within, rather than from external validation. However, how do we get there? I agree with several of the above posts about sincerity, and the circumstances and relationship to the person extending it.

In my thirties, after I got past only being sexually intimate with someone because I was romantically invested, I would chose to 'test drive' sooner rather than later. Being called 'beautiful' by someone new when I was all decked out for an evening out, has a different level of sincerity, than the same statement made in the light of morning, with makeup smeared, and hair as high and mussed as Texas.

Now, I don't mean the compliment had to come from that particular person, but it took me that long to 'hear it' and/or feel comfortable posting a pic from a Christmas morning that was taken sans no make-up, high hair, and sitting with my dog on the floor.

Communication is what is 'put out there' and 'what is picked up' and so, I can never be sure how my intent will be taken. I attempt to be authentic and genuine when doing either, and put more weight toward what the other person does, as to what he/she says, since actions take more time and energy, than what comes out of someone's mouth.

Just my two cents,

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