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Two girls who love each other making out and showering.... - 5/24/2009 8:35:48 PM   
WildThought


Posts: 6
Joined: 6/28/2005
Status: offline 		I have a sub who is very much in "sister love" with another girl.  They hang out often and I am ok with that.  Anyway, I get a phone call and she wants to know if its ok if her and her friend make out.  I am not into playing with others without both present and told her no.  She goes on to try to convince me that since they do not diddle or lick each others clits its not sexual.  She has no problems following my orders with this regard.  However, I am very dubious that making out with someone you love can be construed as a non-sexual act.  How is it possible not to get turned on in that situaltion?  Anyway, wanted hear from woman - especially bi on this topic.  Can you be in a loving relationship with a female friend, make out, maybe even shower together and have that not turn you on and therefore not be sexual?  It sounds crazy to me, but I have testosterone and a penis and feel the need to double check. 
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RE: Two girls who love each other making out and shower... - 5/24/2009 8:40:33 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WildThought

Can you be in a loving relationship with a female friend, make out, maybe even shower together and have that not turn you on and therefore not be sexual?  It sounds crazy to me, but I have testosterone and a penis and feel the need to double check. 


I am a bisexual female. I have loving relationships with females without it being sexual. I have showered with other females without it being sexual. I have not, however, "made out" with another female without it being "sexual." For me, once the "making out" begins, it's "sexual," no two ways about it

luci

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(in reply to WildThought)
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RE: Two girls who love each other making out and shower... - 5/24/2009 10:52:08 PM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline 		"Making out" is may not be intimate sexual contact, but when you slide your tongue in someone's mouth or soap up their body, it's crossing the line, especially since you have an agreement on who does what with whom and when.

ETA:

P.S  Just like I've told many women not to tolerate violating an agreement, neither should you.  If you can't communicate that she needs to stop, you need to evaluate the relationship.

< Message edited by LafayetteLady -- 5/24/2009 10:53:36 PM >

(in reply to slaveluci)
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RE: Two girls who love each other making out and shower... - 5/24/2009 11:00:53 PM   
Kat713


Posts: 134
Joined: 8/31/2008
Status: offline 		I have made out with a girl before when drunk and it is fun and yes it turns me on a little. So no I don't think you can do that and not get turned on. However, sometimes if you really feel comfortable with the girl, you can get dressed in front of each other, and it doesn't turn me on or anything. So maybe taking a shower together wouldn't either... i mean, i used to bathe with my sister when we were younger.  But making out? Come on, that is sexual in itself.

(in reply to LafayetteLady)
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RE: Two girls who love each other making out and shower... - 5/24/2009 11:00:58 PM   
berrysurprise


Posts: 75
Joined: 9/4/2006
Status: offline 		i completely agree... couldn't have said it better myself!

(in reply to slaveluci)
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RE: Two girls who love each other making out and shower... - 5/24/2009 11:07:03 PM   
LadySweetOrSour


Posts: 1415
Joined: 3/21/2009
Status: offline 		I agree with luci. Girls can be around each other naked, showering, helping each other get dressed, etc. and there's nothing in it sexual. Once you start making out or touching each other up (and not in a silly look at me situation where you are just doing it to get attention), it's sexual.

If this is a limit for you, why are you letting her "try to convince you"? The answer is no, the end.

(in reply to berrysurprise)
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RE: Two girls who love each other making out and shower... - 5/24/2009 11:24:12 PM   
WildThought


Posts: 6
Joined: 6/28/2005
Status: offline 		It has not been a limit for me in the past.  Like, we are at a bar together and she is making out with a girl and I am grabbing both of their hair.  That is totally hot, however in this situation.  Its a best friend, her previous previous relationship with a guy they were all intimate.  I actually totally trust her on her not doing anything, but when I told her that is so sexual, she keeps claiming its not.  I already made a decison, however like to hear others advice and thoughts.  Thanks!


(in reply to LadySweetOrSour)
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RE: Two girls who love each other making out and shower... - 5/25/2009 12:31:53 AM   
NihilusZero


Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		I'm failing to see the motivation on her part to persuade you away from a decision you made if there isn't a libido-oriented aspect to it. If it isn't sexual, what precisely would she be getting out of it that she felt compelled to respond with "But..but...!" rather than "As you wish. I was just curious."?

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(in reply to WildThought)
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RE: Two girls who love each other making out and shower... - 5/25/2009 1:07:51 AM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WildThought

Can you be in a loving relationship with a female friend, make out, maybe even shower together and have that not turn you on and therefore not be sexual?


For me, getting turned on involves my brain and if there's no SM involved then I retain a good deal of control over what's happening below my waist so, yes, I can be in a loving relationship with a female friend, make out, shower, and not be turned on. Making out can be for the connection, the joy of pure tactile sensation (like petting a kitten; I love the soft fur but the action doesn't turn me on), for the bonding or even just for giggles.

Whether or not being turned on is a criteria for something to be sexual is another story and as you're the one holding the reins, you're the one who makes that determination for her. If you think making out is sexual, then you just tell her that, in your eyes it's sexual, period.


::skips off singing Girls just Wanna have Fun::

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Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


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RE: Two girls who love each other making out and shower... - 5/25/2009 2:04:21 AM   
berrysurprise


Posts: 75
Joined: 9/4/2006
Status: offline 		Maybe she has such control while with this girl she is able to play and not get emotionally involved?

i don't understand the dynamics fully but i can relate to being able to do certain things with certain people depending on how much self control i had at the time.

If she is adamant she is still in control then maybe she is... However i don't know how much 'sexual' has to do with it... once those senses start running it is very hard to control them...

There are many women out there who have sex etc but do not find it sexual at all... only an act... Could this be where she is coming from????


(in reply to WildThought)
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RE: Two girls who love each other making out and shower... - 5/25/2009 2:16:40 AM   
WarriorKitten


Posts: 6
Joined: 9/1/2007
Status: offline 		that's the thing I AM IN CONTROL. PERIOD. END OF SENTENCE. I CAN CONTROL MYSELF. I really dont have sexual feelings towards my sister friend. I have a group of friends and we're just about that and I feel they were there first and they willl be there after and if people can't understand that then O FUCKING WELLL;

(in reply to berrysurprise)
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RE: Two girls who love each other making out and shower... - 5/25/2009 2:18:37 AM   
WarriorKitten


Posts: 6
Joined: 9/1/2007
Status: offline 		BTW not warrior kitten... am just on her profile.
\* I feel un trustworthy. and alll EWWWWWWWWWWW

(in reply to WarriorKitten)
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RE: Two girls who love each other making out and shower... - 5/25/2009 2:27:50 AM   
LadySweetOrSour


Posts: 1415
Joined: 3/21/2009
Status: offline 		Your dom posted this, take it up with him. He asked a question, he got responses. Again, take it up with him.

(in reply to WarriorKitten)
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RE: Two girls who love each other making out and shower... - 5/25/2009 2:42:03 AM   
YoungBlondeSlave


Posts: 953
Joined: 2/7/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WarriorKitten

that's the thing I AM IN CONTROL. PERIOD. END OF SENTENCE. I CAN CONTROL MYSELF. I really dont have sexual feelings towards my sister friend. I have a group of friends and we're just about that and I feel they were there first and they willl be there after and if people can't understand that then O FUCKING WELLL;


Sorta indicates to me that she does and she's trying to convince herself that she doesn't. And also that she's got the maturity of a 14-year old.

Really, go to talk to you Dom/Master. He's really concerned and you really need to work things out with him. Don't come posturing to us about the control that you have. Show him that you have that control and prove it to him.

(in reply to WarriorKitten)
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RE: Two girls who love each other making out and shower... - 5/25/2009 2:57:27 AM   
eyesopened


Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: YoungBlondeSlave

quote:

ORIGINAL: WarriorKitten

that's the thing I AM IN CONTROL. PERIOD. END OF SENTENCE. I CAN CONTROL MYSELF. I really dont have sexual feelings towards my sister friend. I have a group of friends and we're just about that and I feel they were there first and they willl be there after and if people can't understand that then O FUCKING WELLL;


Sorta indicates to me that she does and she's trying to convince herself that she doesn't. And also that she's got the maturity of a 14-year old.

Really, go to talk to you Dom/Master. He's really concerned and you really need to work things out with him. Don't come posturing to us about the control that you have. Show him that you have that control and prove it to him.


Didn't even have enough control not to use someone else's profile to scream at others about their expressing their opinions.  Untrustworthy? maybe not.  Drama?  Oh yeah! 

Just wondering why, if friends are a priority over a Dominant, why wouldit be necessary to ask permission to do whatever with said friends?  Oh, yeah, that drama thing.

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(in reply to YoungBlondeSlave)
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RE: Two girls who love each other making out and shower... - 5/25/2009 3:43:26 AM   
berrysurprise


Posts: 75
Joined: 9/4/2006
Status: offline 		I sure hope this issue hasn't been blown to far out of proportion... It is only as big as you make it!

If nothing has gone wrong so far... and everything is out in the open i cant understand why there is still an issue.

Although she does sound more dependent on her friends than her Dom? maybe that is why he is querying the relationship

< Message edited by berrysurprise -- 5/25/2009 3:46:04 AM >

(in reply to WarriorKitten)
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RE: Two girls who love each other making out and shower... - 5/25/2009 4:31:29 AM   
oceanwinds


Posts: 530
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: eyesopened

quote:

ORIGINAL: YoungBlondeSlave

quote:

ORIGINAL: WarriorKitten

that's the thing I AM IN CONTROL. PERIOD. END OF SENTENCE. I CAN CONTROL MYSELF. I really dont have sexual feelings towards my sister friend. I have a group of friends and we're just about that and I feel they were there first and they willl be there after and if people can't understand that then O FUCKING WELLL;


Sorta indicates to me that she does and she's trying to convince herself that she doesn't. And also that she's got the maturity of a 14-year old.

Really, go to talk to you Dom/Master. He's really concerned and you really need to work things out with him. Don't come posturing to us about the control that you have. Show him that you have that control and prove it to him.


Didn't even have enough control not to use someone else's profile to scream at others about their expressing their opinions.  Untrustworthy? maybe not.  Drama?  Oh yeah! 

Just wondering why, if friends are a priority over a Dominant, why wouldit be necessary to ask permission to do whatever with said friends?  Oh, yeah, that drama thing.



Well said.

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I know where I came from and where I am today. I am forever grateful to all that touched my life. Thank you all and especially you, Goddess.

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RE: Two girls who love each other making out and shower... - 5/25/2009 5:04:33 AM   
SaintSavant


Posts: 30
Joined: 4/25/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WarriorKitten

that's the thing I AM IN CONTROL. PERIOD. END OF SENTENCE. I CAN CONTROL MYSELF. I really dont have sexual feelings towards my sister friend. I have a group of friends and we're just about that and I feel they were there first and they willl be there after and if people can't understand that then O FUCKING WELLL;


Oh boy. This is not going to end well.

(in reply to WarriorKitten)
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RE: Two girls who love each other making out and shower... - 5/25/2009 5:14:15 AM   
barelynangel


Posts: 6233
Status: offline 		She is attempting to manipulate you and i can't believe she doesn't know it and her friend doesn't know it -- so you can pretty much bet they both know it. so the point here is what do you seriously believe. I would call it what it is to her -- BS. She obviously felt it was some concept of what she needs to ask permission about because she called and asked you and then tried to say BUT and manipulate the situation. It doesn't matter what it is -- the concept involved here is she i trying to manipulate you -- in my former M/s relationship that probably would have gotten my behind spanked and awhile before i got to enjoy what i tried to manipulate him about.

angel

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What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
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(in reply to SaintSavant)
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RE: Two girls who love each other making out and shower... - 5/25/2009 5:16:16 AM   
Drifa


Posts: 547
Joined: 7/27/2007
From: Rural Texas
Status: offline 		Why would she even have asked for permission if SHE didn't know it was over the line?  It sounds as if your prenegotiated boundary is "no sexual contact with others unless both of us are present". That's YOUR limit, and it should be respected, just as her limits should be.

Personally, as a girl who is definitely into girls, there's a distinct place where stuff gets sexual. Naked is when you are changing in the locker room, or showering in a group. Nekkid is when you don't have clothes on and are up to no good and have plans to get into more trouble soon. Your partner wants to have some nekkid time is what it sounds like.

And anyone who thinks that two women having sex are limited to cunnilingus and finger fucking as activities to get to orgasm is deluded.  Tribadism, frottage, erotic massage, mutual masturbation... that's all fun and can be great sex. It isn't innocent "girl time", it's sex.

(in reply to WildThought)
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