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RE: when does a mistress go to far? - 2/12/2006 4:04:05 AM

mons

Posts: 2400
Joined: 11/16/2005
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ga

i just read you post i am really suprised that you will not answer anymore of my post, no this do not happen to me. but it did happen to my sister it is something that hit close to him. now if i sound so angry to many of you it is ok i have my own thoughts on this and my writing was not meant to say to anyone do not write me, but if i feel someone has said something that was totally out of line and it sound so silly i will say something that is what this is for to express what we feel in different subjects, but i do hope when i write again on a different subject i hope you feel free to still asnwer me i am quiet nice. but one day you will find a subject that really hit home for you and i do hope you will stand up and really go for it and let all know how you feel and take care ga

with good thoughts

mons

(in reply to MistressOfGa)

Post #: 81

RE: when does a mistress go to far? - 2/12/2006 6:53:24 AM

MistressOfGa

Posts: 2929
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mons

ga

i just read you post i am really suprised that you will not answer anymore of my post, no this do not happen to me. but it did happen to my sister it is something that hit close to him. now if i sound so angry to many of you it is ok i have my own thoughts on this and my writing was not meant to say to anyone do not write me, but if i feel someone has said something that was totally out of line and it sound so silly i will say something that is what this is for to express what we feel in different subjects, but i do hope when i write again on a different subject i hope you feel free to still asnwer me i am quiet nice. but one day you will find a subject that really hit home for you and i do hope you will stand up and really go for it and let all know how you feel and take care ga

with good thoughts

mons

Mons,
I have no problem with posting with you on other topics. I just had my limit with you when you said that the Domme in question, should be tied up and raped to teach her a lesson. For someone who is so against rape, you sure dont see a problem with it, if it is done to teach someone a lesson.
I will respond to other threads that you post on, no worries.

Oh and for the record, the subject of rape is VERY close to me.

_____________________________

(in reply to mons)

Post #: 82

RE: when does a mistress go to far? - 2/12/2006 7:16:38 AM

MstrssPassion

Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline

Yet another thread started with vague details & an OP hinting of abuse...

Pages & pages of people debating & contriving these very same vague words.

What of the OP... where is he to clarify our questions or validate our conclusions???

I still believe this guy agreed to that dreaded troublesome word... ANYTHING

How many of you ladies out there heard that one? LOL

Sure many of us will not do that ANYTHING without making sure that the other person knows exactly what they are getting into. I betting dollars to donuts that this man knew exactly what was going to happen, it just didn't go by his game plan. But none of us will ever know that will we?

This is yet another fine example of why so many people say that abusive dominants run rampant in the lifestyle... people will line up & light torches as soon as someone cries wolf. This OP never came back to this post again & the woman in question has not spoken on her behalf... yet here we are... several pages later & the theme seem to be "burn the witch".

< Message edited by MstrssPassion -- 2/12/2006 7:17:44 AM >

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MstrssPassion

(in reply to MistressOfGa)

Post #: 83

RE: when does a mistress go to far? - 2/12/2006 7:28:33 AM

MistressOfGa

Posts: 2929
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrssPassion

Yet another thread started with vague details & an OP hinting of abuse...

Pages & pages of people debating & contriving these very same vague words.

What of the OP... where is he to clarify our questions or validate our conclusions???

I still believe this guy agreed to that dreaded troublesome word... ANYTHING

How many of you ladies out there heard that one? LOL

Sure many of us will not do that ANYTHING without making sure that the other person knows exactly what they are getting into. I betting dollars to donuts that this man knew exactly what was going to happen, it just didn't go by his game plan. But none of us will ever know that will we?

This is yet another fine example of why so many people say that abusive dominants run rampant in the lifestyle... people will line up & light torches as soon as someone cries wolf. This OP never came back to this post again & the woman in question has not spoken on her behalf... yet here we are... several pages later & the theme seem to be "burn the witch".

DITTO

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(in reply to MstrssPassion)

Post #: 84

RE: when does a mistress go to far? - 2/12/2006 8:06:48 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrssPassion

Yet another thread started with vague details & an OP hinting of abuse...

Pages & pages of people debating & contriving these very same vague words.

What of the OP... where is he to clarify our questions or validate our conclusions???

I still believe this guy agreed to that dreaded troublesome word... ANYTHING

How many of you ladies out there heard that one? LOL

Sure many of us will not do that ANYTHING without making sure that the other person knows exactly what they are getting into. I betting dollars to donuts that this man knew exactly what was going to happen, it just didn't go by his game plan. But none of us will ever know that will we?

This is yet another fine example of why so many people say that abusive dominants run rampant in the lifestyle... people will line up & light torches as soon as someone cries wolf. This OP never came back to this post again & the woman in question has not spoken on her behalf... yet here we are... several pages later & the theme seem to be "burn the witch".

Actually the OP did post one more time and a person who claims to know the events has been posting.

Let me ask all of us a question:

If something abusive happened to you and you tried to share it but the first responses you got were along the lines of "this is a fantasy" or "you deserved it" how many of us would even keep reading?

Try not to think about how you would answer as you are right now. Try to put yourself into a survivor's shoes for a second. Even if you are a survivor (I am, by the way) try to think about how it felt when you experienced that assault, that abuse or that rape not about how you are now today.

As I am today, I wouldn't even think of sharing something like this with basically complete and anonymous strangers online if something happened to me. But what if I didn't have friends or family, what if I felt very confused and was second guessing myself, would I post? I can't honestly answer that because when I survived this sorts of communities weren't around. I think that if I'd had anyone to talk to, I would have tried but if I'd questioned and told I deserved it, I probably would have either turned and left or really started to doubt myself which I do not personally believe is healthy for recovery.

I wonder if maybe we don't expect all the answers and all the 'facts' because it makes us feel safer as people. The idea that you can stop anything bad from happening is very appealing. It isn't realistic. There will always be someone bigger, sneaker, better armed, or with more people to harm you if they really want to. The best we can sometimes do is survive and learn to be more aware of our surroundings and be more careful but none of that excuses the abusers, the rapists, and the criminals of their role and responsibility.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to MstrssPassion)

Post #: 85

RE: when does a mistress go to far? - 2/12/2006 8:18:24 AM

artglfr

Posts: 235
Joined: 4/8/2005
Status: offline

I have been in the Lifestyle for 12 years actively starting as a subbie and I learned very very early NOT to say" anything Mistress". One of the best examples ;a fantastic Domme spreadeagled me on the bed and took a simple little bik lighter to my danglies and I safe worded so fast!!! Safe words are there to be used and I NEVER found or even heard of a Mistress who ignored a safe word.

Mistresses do NOT want to break Their toys. Pure and simple.

As a Dom I always make certain my subbies know and use their safe word by using the very same bik lighter test. If I get closer to the subbies privates than I would want to mine I stop and" ask why the hell aren't you using your code word".

I agree that I would also like to hear from the OP. I especially would like to hear from the Domme...if there reallyis one. It is strange that this mons character is doing all the posting and ranting and STILL has not read about THE GAG.

this is page five and isn't it about time he reads the actual posting?

READ THE OP.

This is NOT the fault of the Domme. If it really happened which I seriously doubt . SHE gave him what he agreed to accept. they negotiated for him to find out about men and he did. I am sorry but I believe if he was unhappy he could have safe worded. A Domme is not going to risk Her reputation to RAPE a new subbie. Let's get real here. This community is small and word gets out very fast whether a Person is safe or not. there are many many subbies begging for this to happen to them so SHE does not need to rape anyone.

I also think mons may want to check and see why he is so interested in raping this Domme. Hey there is counseling out there.

(in reply to MistressOfGa)

Post #: 86

RE: when does a mistress go to far? - 2/12/2006 9:16:34 AM

MadameDahlia

Posts: 2021
Joined: 8/11/2004
From: SoCal aka Hell
Status: offline

Maybe she isn't a Domme. Maybe she's a psychopathic hack with two henchmen. And maybe all three get off on less than consensual abuse. Perhaps he wanted to safeword himself silly. If what he's said is true she set him up to be raped. The two guys involved did rape him. And he should press charges. He should drag them through court. He should face his attackers and make them own up to what they've done.

On the other hand... he was gagged, but still managed to give blow jobs? ... unless he's trying to say that they sucked him off... Pieces are missing there. If he was sucking cock he could have used a safe word - or several - when they had a changing of the guards, so to speak.

Secondly, if he has been abused in the past by men... why does he want to touch them? Is he trying to dish out some sort of delayed revenge... maybe work through some pretty nasty emotions via screwing (and thus asserting himself, claiming whatever he had lost) the two submissives?

It all sounds just too weird for words. No one was given the full picture - especially not in any manner that made a lick of sense. Facts trickled in. Apparently a friend of his started speaking for him and began to plug up gaps and add more information along the way.

If it's true, press charges. If it isn't I'll happily link the OP to all of the erotic literature sites I can think of so that he'll have far more wank material than any of us provided for him here.

_____________________________

Insanity -- a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.
--R. D. Laing

"Oh, but if I went 'round sayin' I was Emperor, just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away."

(in reply to artglfr)

Post #: 87

RE: when does a mistress go to far? - 2/12/2006 9:17:34 AM

MstrssPassion

Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline

quote:

Let me ask all of us a question:

If something abusive happened to you and you tried to share it but the first responses you got were along the lines of "this is a fantasy" or "you deserved it" how many of us would even keep reading?

Try not to think about how you would answer as you are right now. Try to put yourself into a survivor's shoes for a second.

But you are asking this question as you & from your own shoes... keyword here: survivor

Tammy, I have the up most respect for you & the history you spoke of regarding rape. You have already made up your mind that this person was abused & I believe that you do this because of the fact that you yourself are a survivor.

We, that means anyone who hears this story... even the one who says she heard it straight from the op knight & the mistress involved... no one knows what happened or can present a legitimate statement as to what took place or should have taken place. Even my post is just an assumption... None of us were there. Why the hell do people want to crucify others because of a post that no one here, other than the persons present, have actual knowledge of the happenings that took place?

_____________________________

MstrssPassion

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 88

RE: when does a mistress go to far? - 2/12/2006 10:58:18 AM

artglfr

Posts: 235
Joined: 4/8/2005
Status: offline

I may have missed this and someone else mentioned it. I have missed a couple of pages but a minute ago a subbie who read the OP and the mons replies said "This is written by the same person!"

I reread the OP and mons and they do appear similar. Is she right? Does anyone else think they are the same writer?

(in reply to MstrssPassion)

Post #: 89

RE: when does a mistress go to far? - 2/12/2006 11:07:52 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrssPassion

quote:

Let me ask all of us a question:

If something abusive happened to you and you tried to share it but the first responses you got were along the lines of "this is a fantasy" or "you deserved it" how many of us would even keep reading?

Try not to think about how you would answer as you are right now. Try to put yourself into a survivor's shoes for a second.

But you are asking this question as you & from your own shoes... keyword here: survivor

Tammy, I have the up most respect for you & the history you spoke of regarding rape. You have already made up your mind that this person was abused & I believe that you do this because of the fact that you yourself are a survivor.

We, that means anyone who hears this story... even the one who says she heard it straight from the op knight & the mistress involved... no one knows what happened or can present a legitimate statement as to what took place or should have taken place. Even my post is just an assumption... None of us were there. Why the hell do people want to crucify others because of a post that no one here, other than the persons present, have actual knowledge of the happenings that took place?

Actually I've said if it is true then he has been assaulted. I've also said that it hurts me not at all to believe what he said. He didn't name anyone by anyname at all -- scene or real -- so he isn't harming anyone's status as a top, heck, he's not even giving a warning about anyone in particular (though that is an issue certain to get a argument going).

I don't understand why so many people are sure he's lying and are being so aggressive about that? Lots of ideas pop into my mind as to why someone would do that and I shared one in my previous post -- sharing my others thoughts on 'why' would only be negative and I'm trying to get people to think.

I've seen and heard fantasies spilled as real events. The intensity and the fact he's only posted one more time on this thread suggest very strongly to me that it is true. I just don't read the signs of a fantasy here but I do see a lot of intensity and a lot of folks attacking the OP's story. Why does it harm anyone to offer empathy? Why do several people feel the need to attack the OP?

To me, attacking speaks as much to a personal issue as my or anyone else offering empathy.

And FYI its TammyJo not Tammy.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to MstrssPassion)

Post #: 90

RE: when does a mistress go to far? - 2/12/2006 11:29:10 AM

artglfr

Posts: 235
Joined: 4/8/2005
Status: offline

Hi, my name is jerri. Art has been kind enough to allow me to post my feelings and thoughts on this thread.

As a rape survivor, correct me if i am wrong, the last thing that you would ever wish on another person is rape. Rape is a vicious crime that deals not with sex but with control and domination. A feeling of utter helplessness. No consent can be given for a true rape, that would negate the feelings of control that the rapist get6s off on. No one who has been raped could ever hope that another person would suffer the same violation. That said, i have been tied up and gagged . . . lots. In all those cases, i had an object grasped in one hand that would make noise if dropped. That object was my safeword and i have used that safeword. It is a simple precaution that most Doms, Dommes or Tops would take. i have read this and i see lots of potential problems, most of which could be solved with one call to the police.

The first is that the OP in question, asked for permission to top this person's slaves. He was told there would be a price for this.

The second, nowhere did he admit that he had been told that price, but i have never known a good Domme who would initiate such a scene, without his knowledge and consent.

The third, he states he was gagged and yet was forced to engage in oral sex. Gags and oral sex seldom go hand in hand.

The forth, this had to be a scene that went on for an extended time. Why had he not engaged in a safecall procedure to prevent this kind of exploitation. Safe Calls are for everyone's safety, Dom or sub.

The fifth point is why did he not call the police?

The thing that got me interested in this thread to begin with were the completly similiar styles of writing and spelling between the OP and mons. Every other reply on this thread has been coherent and thought out, while the posts from these two have been uniformly difficult to read and could be typed by the same person. I tend to think that they are by the same person. I could be wrong, I have been before, but they read alike.

I will say that anyone person who advocates the rape of another human being is wrong, plain and simple. I don't know of any rape survivor who feels otherwise.

Thank You all for allowing me to get on my soapbox and now I'll get off it.

Jerri

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 91

RE: when does a mistress go to far? - 2/12/2006 12:10:26 PM

Misstoyou

Posts: 1149
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: artglfr

I may have missed this and someone else mentioned it. I have missed a couple of pages but a minute ago a subbie who read the OP and the mons replies said "This is written by the same person!"

I reread the OP and mons and they do appear similar. Is she right? Does anyone else think they are the same writer?

No, I don't think so. Mons is from my part of the world, and has been a presence on the forums for a while now, especially on the Ask a Mistress forum.

_____________________________

~ Miss Marie

a.k.a. "mean Lady"

(in reply to artglfr)

Post #: 92

RE: when does a mistress go to far? - 2/12/2006 12:50:06 PM

SimplyV

Posts: 351
Joined: 11/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: artglfr

The third, he states he was gagged and yet was forced to engage in oral sex. Gags and oral sex seldom go hand in hand.

The forth, this had to be a scene that went on for an extended time. Why had he not engaged in a safecall procedure to prevent this kind of exploitation. Safe Calls are for everyone's safety, Dom or sub.

The fifth point is why did he not call the police?

The thing that got me interested in this thread to begin with were the completly similiar styles of writing and spelling between the OP and mons. Every other reply on this thread has been coherent and thought out, while the posts from these two have been uniformly difficult to read and could be typed by the same person. I tend to think that they are by the same person. I could be wrong, I have been before, but they read alike.

Umm.. Yes.. He was gagged. and the Oral was performed ON HIM.. not him on them. Had he been forced to perform on them.. I'm pretty sure someone would have bitemark scars for a very long time.

Yes the scene went on for a long time. He was not told how to safeword with a gag on. Why? because he wasn't told. Why didn't he ask? Because he trusted her. He should have been informed, and she should have made sure he knew. She had full knowledge of his lack of experience. She should have made sure he was educated. Yes he was errant in not putting his safety first, but that hardly excuses her taking advantage of it.

Why not call the police? Umm.. I don't know.. Why does any rape victim keep quiet? Fear? Shame? The belief that all will go away if they just pretend hard enough? Getting the police involved makes it real and draws it out in public? But for Knight, the biggest issue I think.. is that he fears other people he knows will find out. He doesn't want to be made fun of, or teased, or called gay. I think he's a little afraid the world or police won't believe him and nothing will come of it anyway. I mean.. there is a 3 against 1 here. And half the world still believes that if a guys cock gets hard he's concenting. And with half the comments on this board.. if you were him.. would you even attempt to report it?

And I know Knight2be.. the original OP.. and yes Mons has issues with puntuation like Knight does.. But I have seen a lot of people on this board with a complete lack of punctuation. I assure you that Mons and Knight are not the same person. For one thing.. Mons is way to eloquent and expressive. Knight has a much harder time expressing himself, believe me.

As someone said to me recently, its threads like this where you can really see the good or the bad in people.

(in reply to artglfr)

Post #: 93

RE: when does a mistress go to far? - 2/12/2006 1:42:50 PM

SirKenin

Posts: 2994
Joined: 10/31/2004
From: Barrie, ON Canada
Status: offline

Overanalyze and pretend you're Surelock friggin' Holmes, tear the flesh from his bones and then wonder why the poor guy does not want to go to the cops.

Gee George. I wonder why?

_____________________________

Hi. I don't care. Thanks.

Wicca: Pretending to be an ancient religion since 1956

Catholic Church: Serving up guilt since 107 AD.

(in reply to SimplyV)

Post #: 94

RE: when does a mistress go to far? - 2/12/2006 4:23:34 PM

swtnsparkling

Posts: 1738
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

If you were gagged how did you engage in oral sex in the first place? artglfr

The OP states :

quote:

i found myself bound and gagged on my back i was played with and got very hard then her subs hopped on me 1 by 1 and engaged in oral sex in other words they rode me was unable to move or say no they both got off on me several times while i lay there

THEY did, not him.

You seem very insistant that he did oral on them while gagged noticed you mentioned it a couple times also in another thread that is now gone. (must of being pulled?)
You MISREAD and so did your friend

_____________________________

Never make anyone a priority who treats you as an option 2003

Walk in Peace

A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better than a "Yes" uttered merely to please

(in reply to artglfr)

Post #: 95

RE: when does a mistress go to far? - 2/12/2006 10:19:02 PM

MistressSassy66

Posts: 1675
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Knight2be

i had a safeword it was "cotton" How do you say a safeword when you got a ball in your mouth, and your tied to the table. i coudnt back out and i didnt know what was going to happen until it was to late so i had to just lay there

This is why I have a gesture for when a submissive is gagged...foot stomp,finger snap.I always leave a way for My submissives to stop a scene.

To let yourself be gagged so you couldnt safe word out is IMO irresponsible on your part.
Its not that hard to find a physical way to safe out so as not to rely on just a verbal one.

_____________________________

Mistress Sassy

http://www.mistresssassy.com

In the Immortal Words of Bob....Fuck the dumb shit.

"I love you not only for what you are,But for what I am when I'm with you."- Opening line from a poem by Roy Croft

(in reply to Knight2be)

Post #: 96

RE: when does a mistress go to far? - 2/12/2006 10:50:46 PM

Misstoyou

Posts: 1149
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressSassy66

To let yourself be gagged so you couldnt safe word out is IMO irresponsible on your part.

Yes, that's true, but everyone knows the ratio of submissive men to dominant women. I am not surprised when submissive men think the have no bargaining power. Heck, I'm a take-it-or-leave-it woman, too. Though my submissive has a safeword and gesture, I can imagine a submissive, especially a young inexperienced "slave" being intimidated, or even afraid that one "no" and he might be released, or so trusting that he doesn't bring it up...especially in the middle of what he thinks is going to be a hot scene when his other head is thinking.

Is that an excuse? Of course not. Understandable? I think so.

_____________________________

~ Miss Marie

a.k.a. "mean Lady"

(in reply to MistressSassy66)

Post #: 97

RE: when does a mistress go to far? - 2/12/2006 11:06:40 PM

MistressSassy66

Posts: 1675
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Misstoyou

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressSassy66

To let yourself be gagged so you couldnt safe word out is IMO irresponsible on your part.

Yes, that's true, but everyone knows the ratio of submissive men to dominant women. I am not surprised when submissive men think the have no bargaining power. Heck, I'm a take-it-or-leave-it woman, too. Though my submissive has a safeword and gesture, I can imagine a submissive, especially a young inexperienced "slave" being intimidated, or even afraid that one "no" and he might be released, or so trusting that he doesn't bring it up...especially in the middle of what he thinks is going to be a hot scene when his other head is thinking.

Is that an excuse? Of course not. Understandable? I think so.

Very understandable...which brings up the point that a Dom/me Pro or not ,should also be responsible...When sceneing with someone inexperienced I make sure by talking to them,that they are okay.I ask is this okay, is it too much,dont be afraid to say your safe word,even ask them what is the word or to do the gesture just so they can feel comfortable using it.I will not do a scene without a safeword and gesture with anyone.

_____________________________

Mistress Sassy

http://www.mistresssassy.com

In the Immortal Words of Bob....Fuck the dumb shit.

"I love you not only for what you are,But for what I am when I'm with you."- Opening line from a poem by Roy Croft

(in reply to Misstoyou)

Post #: 98

RE: when does a mistress go to far? - 2/12/2006 11:39:39 PM

MsMacComb

Posts: 808
Joined: 3/30/2005
From: My Mothers womb.
Status: offline

No means no, in more ways than one. Consent is ALWAYS the operative word. Anyone who doesnt place safety and sanity first, is not worthy of your attentions.

_____________________________

Not looking for anyone for anything, any time.

(in reply to Knight2be)

Post #: 99

RE: when does a mistress go to far? - 2/13/2006 12:35:32 AM

mons

Posts: 2400
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline

ga

i was misunderstood i did not want anyone raped and no way did i want a domme i am a domme i respect all of use we are great group of woman,when i said take a domme i said it in the way what if one of use thought we were going to somewhere and having a time with a submissive and we were new, how that could had happen to anyone of us i remember when i was new i did not know muuch of anything but how i felt the need to domiant some male. that is what i meant. no i am not flame what is this a buring person?

with good thoughts

mons

(in reply to MistressOfGa)

Post #: 100

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