RE: What do you do when at club everyone is owned or together all the time and you don't get to play

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All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: What do you do when at club everyone is owned or together all the time and you don't get to play

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RE: What do you do when at club everyone is owned or to... - 6/8/2009 10:31:00 PM

WyldHrt

Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline

Sorry, but I have to join the rest of the females who were creeped out by your profile. If you are using an approach like that in the clubs, well... not good.
Also, Lizi made a good point about the fact that you seem to be expecting submissives to contact you. As most guys here can tell you, that probably isn't going to work out too well.

_____________________________

"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

(in reply to Asherdelampyr)

Post #: 21

RE: What do you do when at club everyone is owned or to... - 6/8/2009 10:42:59 PM

Asherdelampyr

Posts: 9556
Joined: 11/14/2006
From: The Desert
Status: offline

Well I dunno, his profile may seem creepy to those who arent into it,, but maybe for the right person it would work... Mind you I have no idea who that person is, but I do hope for his sake that she is out there, somewhere... Diligently watching her weight and hair length

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(in reply to WyldHrt)

Post #: 22

RE: What do you do when at club everyone is owned or to... - 6/9/2009 12:23:14 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

I have to admit, I don't have this particular issue. I attribute this at least in part to the fact that I'm female. Better yet, I'm a female who does the club thing in leather attire. I know that tips the scales in My favor, and I readily admit that female tops have it easier than male tops.

However, there are other contributing factors. I don't know where you fall in any of these areas. If any of them are things you could improve on, it might help.

Skill - I'm very good at what I do. I'm a pretty accomplished top and when I play, it shows. The better your skills, the more people will volunteer to bottom for you.

Reputation - This one goes hand in hand with skill. People who have either participated in scenes with Me or have watched Me play have good things to say about Me. (With some digging, you could find a few things related to this right here on the boards.) That covers not just the play itself, but the way I take care of the people I play with after the scene.

Social - I'm a very friendly person and I'm easy to approach. This helps for those bottoms who want to play, but might be a bit shy. If I'm not playing, I'm found sitting outside the dungeon area, talking with folks.

Acceptance - I play with people of all races, ages, and genders. A person doesn't have to be a certain height, weight, etc., to be a good bottom. They aren't asking Me to fit certain parameters to be a good top, so why should I ask it of them? You'd be surprised how appealing that is to a lot of people.

Agenda - My agenda for casual play is just that. Casual play, not casual sex. I'm there for a good, old fashioned S/m time.

The combination of the above is why My dance card is always full. I can't tell you the last time I went to an event where I wanted to play and wasn't able to for the lack of someone who wanted to play with Me.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to flogger)

Post #: 23

RE: What do you do when at club everyone is owned or to... - 6/9/2009 12:36:36 AM

flogger

Posts: 186
Joined: 6/27/2004
Status: offline

Everyones opinion is appreciated, I have to say I was encouraged by more than 20 subs/slaves that have read my profile and they really like "want listt". They are not local sorry to say, And yes I do wear leather to the dungeons and the rule is :don't touch without permission" therefore I can't be aggressive as some would think. As far as my hearing problem, if someone gets afraid of that well they are not looking at the whole but a part of their own problem. with honesty. I was told it is best to tell the truth up front so there won't be any surprises. As far as a slaves weight again Im being honsest big is big and small is samll, Slaves ask for a man who has all his hair on his head etc, Why can't I say what I want in my profile. As for showing "power" I dnn't know how or what it means to show power to attract slave/subs. I go to most clubs in LA, again, I get to spank many but no one to see regularly.. My problem is being a "closer". Meeting and spanking is easy for me, at those type of events. its the closing part I can't do these days. Im going to change my photo, and edit my profile a bit just to not be so limited . My writing comes from "within"

< Message edited by flogger -- 6/9/2009 1:19:40 AM >

(in reply to Asherdelampyr)

Post #: 24

RE: What do you do when at club everyone is owned or to... - 6/9/2009 12:48:43 AM

flogger

Posts: 186
Joined: 6/27/2004
Status: offline

Yes, I wear leather to the dungeons and kink clubs always.

(in reply to Asherdelampyr)

Post #: 25

RE: What do you do when at club everyone is owned or to... - 6/9/2009 12:58:13 AM

flogger

Posts: 186
Joined: 6/27/2004
Status: offline

I go to a munch once a month, and will keep going

(in reply to LovingMistress45)

Post #: 26

RE: What do you do when at club everyone is owned or to... - 6/9/2009 1:14:35 AM

flogger

Posts: 186
Joined: 6/27/2004
Status: offline

There are others ways of using safe words and I amd my play partner work out a system before we play that is agreed upon always. Dont mistake my writing. I have had plenty of play partners as well as topping a few Dommes. I have not collared anyone is my problem. I had a slave living wtih me but that did not work out because of a "lie" I was accused of saying" It was just not meant to be.

(in reply to MsLadySue)

Post #: 27

RE: What do you do when at club everyone is owned or to... - 6/9/2009 1:20:46 AM

WyldHrt

Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline

*sigh* Please reread what LadyPact posted, she really knows her stuff.

As far as your physical preferences- you are welcome to them, of course. That said, be aware that the more limits you put on weight, hair length, age, etc, the more you shrink the pool of potential partners. On the hearing issue, it would be helpful if you stated how you deal with it as regards a sub signaling that there is a problem, or at least state that you know it is an issue that will be attentively handled by you. TBH, a sub being concerned about that isn't really her problem.

As far as your profile text- if it works for you, great.
(aka- I give up)

_____________________________

"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

(in reply to flogger)

Post #: 28

RE: What do you do when at club everyone is owned or to... - 6/9/2009 1:33:55 AM

ExSteelAgain

Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline

You have to be yourself and find comfort with what you do. Accomplish that and things will fall into place.

_____________________________

You can paint a cinder block bright pastel pink, but it's still a cinder block. (By Me.)

(in reply to WyldHrt)

Post #: 29

RE: What do you do when at club everyone is owned or to... - 6/9/2009 3:58:14 AM

Toppingfrmbottom

Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline

You don't have to touch people with out permission to be agressive, you don't have to be an ass either to be aggressive.

If you want a weight limit, that's fine, but weight varies so much on a woman, It's foolish to have a defined number in your head. What if I am tall really skinny but I weigh 145 because I am muscled and well toned, And you won't play with me because I am not your set hard limit of 135, well now you're just cutting one more play partner potential out because you have a set number in mind.

Perhaps instead say you like Slim or slender or women who're weight height proportionate.

quote:

ORIGINAL: flogger

Everyones opinion is appreciated, I have to say I was encouraged by more than 20 subs/slaves that have read my profile and they really like "want listt". They are not local sorry to say, And yes I do wear leather to the dungeons and the rule is :don't touch without permission" therefore I can't be aggressive as some would think. As far as my hearing problem, if someone gets afraid of that well they are not looking at the whole but a part of their own problem. with honesty. I was told it is best to tell the truth up front so there won't be any surprises. As far as a slaves weight again Im being honsest big is big and small is samll, Slaves ask for a man who has all his hair on his head etc, Why can't I say what I want in my profile. As for showing "power" I dnn't know how or what it means to show power to attract slave/subs. I go to most clubs in LA, again, I get to spank many but no one to see regularly.. My problem is being a "closer". Meeting and spanking is easy for me, at those type of events. its the closing part I can't do these days. Im going to change my photo, and edit my profile a bit just to not be so limited . My writing comes from "within"

(in reply to flogger)

Post #: 30

RE: What do you do when at club everyone is owned or to... - 6/9/2009 4:05:26 AM

Toppingfrmbottom

Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline

He already said he and the sub work it out and have a system, he doesn't need to tell every one and as sundry on the boards what it is, Just that he and the sub have a system.

Unless you mean on his profile

quote:

ORIGINAL: WyldHrt

*sigh* Please reread what LadyPact posted, she really knows her stuff.

On the hearing issue, it would be helpful if you stated how you deal with it as regards a sub signaling that there is a problem, or at least state that you know it is an issue that will be attentively handled by you. TBH, a sub being concerned about that isn't really her problem.

(in reply to WyldHrt)

Post #: 31

RE: What do you do when at club everyone is owned or to... - 6/9/2009 4:11:09 AM

sirsholly

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Why on earth would you specify a weight range but not a height range? 130 pounds is anorexic on a 6' woman and heavy on a 4'10" woman. And only a ten pound range?

And I agree with the others that the little-girl letter sounds creepy.

You think there are lot of pretty blonde model types are looking for a 60 year old who is hard of hearing? You got bank to make up for it???

i agree. I young blonde is not going to go for a 60 yr old who can't hear very well.

especially after reading that profile. straaaaaange

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(in reply to lusciouslips19)

Post #: 32

RE: What do you do when at club everyone is owned or to... - 6/9/2009 4:18:36 AM

Whenready

Posts: 319
Joined: 3/5/2009
Status: offline

Sorry to say it but.... profile reads like gollum... my precioussssss.....

(in reply to sirsholly)

Post #: 33

RE: What do you do when at club everyone is owned or to... - 6/9/2009 4:26:00 AM

Toppingfrmbottom

Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline

Could people maybe start offering something constructive now that at least 10 people have said your profile is strange?

(in reply to Whenready)

Post #: 34

RE: What do you do when at club everyone is owned or to... - 6/9/2009 4:32:44 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

By telling him his profile comes across as creepy, and that his fixation by an older deaf man on getting a young, hot, blonde is also part of the problem, and that he needs to come across as a person not some older black Austen Powers, we are offering constructive criticism. He needs to change the profile, to accept women closer to his own age who are less than perfect, just like him, and to show who he is as a person instead of this weird persona he has chosen to represent him.

As everyone has told him, trolling for available women at the clubs doesn't work, there are always more single men than women. He needs to change what he's doing.

And I don't understand how he has a system that works with his sub about the hearing issue when he has already said he doesn't have a sub. He isn't clear.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to Toppingfrmbottom)

Post #: 35

RE: What do you do when at club everyone is owned or to... - 6/9/2009 4:35:26 AM

Toppingfrmbottom

Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline

He said he plays with many subs, you can play with tons of them and not own any of them, and you can have a system in place for those you play with , with out owning. Perhaps he doesn't mean my sub, as in mine I own, but the sub he is playing with at the moment, and that should be made more clear I suppose.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

By telling him his profile comes across as creepy, and that his fixation by an older deaf man on getting a young, hot, blonde is also part of the problem, and that he needs to come across as a person not some older black Austen Powers, we are offering constructive criticism. He needs to change the profile, to accept women closer to his own age who are less than perfect, just like him, and to show who he is as a person instead of this weird persona he has chosen to represent him.

As everyone has told him, trolling for available women at the clubs doesn't work, there are always more single men than women. He needs to change what he's doing.

And I don't understand how he has a system that works with his sub about the hearing issue when he has already said he doesn't have a sub. He isn't clear.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 36

RE: What do you do when at club everyone is owned or to... - 6/9/2009 4:36:30 AM

lronitulstahp

Posts: 5392
Joined: 10/17/2007
Status: offline

i'm not sure exactly why people are talking about a hearing impairment as if it's a distasteful personal trait or affectation that can be helped, but some of the other comments concerning your profile and way of presenting yourself are spot on.

Perhaps you should think long and hard about what it is you are trying to "say", what it is you need (rather than hope) to find in a play partner, and who you really are. At 60, it's a bit odd to be so seemingly emotionally unsettled. If superficial preferences, and unrealistic fantasies and expectations are pretty much the sum of all parts, i would start working on the "why's" at this point, and get that all sorted out before thinking of bringing a young impressionable (i know, thin...blond) s-type into it.

Good luck.

_____________________________

Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for." -Bob Marley

(in reply to flogger)

Post #: 37

RE: What do you do when at club everyone is owned or to... - 6/9/2009 4:47:43 AM

PanthersMom

Posts: 2215
Joined: 11/26/2007
From: Cleveland Ohio
Status: offline

just read part of the profile. very, very creepy.

PM

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I miss my ex, but my aim is improving!

(in reply to lronitulstahp)

Post #: 38

RE: What do you do when at club everyone is owned or to... - 6/9/2009 5:30:25 AM

CarrieO

Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline

Well, after reading all the posts on this thread I just had to check out your profile.

Not to echo what others have said but..."My Precious" does come to mind. Is there a reason you felt it necessary to come across as so obsessive? You mentioned liking Jazz guitar...why not highlight some of the interesting non-kinky things about yourself. And what is it about "Birdwatching" you dislike and "Ultimate Frisbee" that you hate so much?

If what you want is a "regular play partner", I would suggest you try to come across as an intersting person with more to offer than toys, kink and a golem-like attitude. Remember, I only have your profile to go by here. You may not come off this way in person.

Try not to fall into the trap that some dominant men have...not all but some...which is "I'm the Dom, they should contact me." Think of it this way, you're looking for a job (why does it always seem to come back to advertising/marketing/interviewing?) and you've sent out your resume to various headhunters and companies. Its been suggested you make some changes to this resume.
#1...Employers won't randomly contact you simply because you want a job. A sub/slave isn't going to just jump at the chance to be with you if you can't also make the effort.

#2...A resume is key, the important first impression. Your profile is your resume, of sorts, on CM.

#3...If you can't be assertive enough to "sell" yourself, maybe its time to take an inward look and figure out why. Often, the determining factor is YOU....work on that.

#4...Remember to have reasonable expectations. Just because you're good at making scrambled eggs doesn't mean you're a trained chef. To expect a job as a chef, you need the training and experience to offer otherwise, just get back in the kitchen and make me some scrambled eggs! Be real with regards to your expectations of partners. That doesn't mean you need to lower any standards...just be REAL.

You've been given some excellent advice by some very experienced people here....are you going to take it to heart?

Good luck!

_____________________________

"No matter what happens in the kitchen, never apologize"~Julia Child~

(in reply to PanthersMom)

Post #: 39

RE: What do you do when at club everyone is owned or to... - 6/9/2009 5:44:37 AM

SaintSavant

Posts: 30
Joined: 4/25/2009
Status: offline

Maybe you could tell more about what makes you interesting and unique. Sure, its good for a sub to know your kinks, but if you are looking for one who is a long-term partner, she needs to know much more than that.

(in reply to CarrieO)

Post #: 40

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