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RE: Moving in too fast - 6/13/2009 10:29:52 PM

ZenDragoness

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I am still stand by my word, that i do not need to know somebody for a very long time to have a strong emotinal connection.

For me a strong emotinal connection that lasts a night is not a lower one, then a long term relationship. I am very sorry that LuckyAlbatross it not posting, because we shared the same view.

As steel wrote, i do not need to know somebody for a long time to know important things about a person and in know instantly of i am attracted.

I have nothing against love and sex going hand in hand and i would say that there is a certain kind of experience and i like it a lot that it is the case with M. But would he vanish in this instant and i would look for sex, whenever later on, i would not require love to have sex. But i require an emotion, a deep liking for the other person.

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RE: Moving in too fast - 6/13/2009 10:31:36 PM

SteelofUtah

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For the most part I agree with everything that you have said as it applies to you, and by that I literally mean YOU.

However you pointed out a lot of things above and I didn't want to just quote and reply so I will just blanket this out.

You mention that you do not know yourself completely, something that is of note. No one does. I learn new things about myself and my relationship with my wife DAILY. Things change and I learn how I like things ..... with andi .... and even those change over time.

With this you can spend all the time that you want getting to know someone you really don't knwo how you are going to feel about things no matter how long you wait some things can only be learned from experiencing them.

I do not believe it is a Bad thing for people to wait. I think there are people who are far to irresponsible with thier sexuality. Not to sound like a Hypocrit but I do not believe that some people are unable to realize that sexual activity is a responsibility. I hope I never gave the impression that we should all be fucking like rabbits right and left that was never my point, what my point was if you know what you want then you should feel confident going for it. I see sex as someting that is important to a relationship, I would hate to really care about a person and then loathe the sexual aspect of it. If it came down to that I would feel torn between the two concepts having a emotional connecting that was great and a sexual one that wasn't. I don't ever want to have to experience that. I will admit just about everyone that I have even been with sex happened within the first two weeks. I knew enough about them to know I wanted to continue seeing them and also knew that I wanted to experience the sexual aspect of the relationship before I was willing to take the relationship any further. If they were not ready then 9 out of 10 times the relationship deterioted quickly after that.

I can respect that you do not open up easily to people, I do, I'm like a book all you have to do is look for the answer and you can easily find it. I am also not willing to project an image of myself that isn't real. If you cannot like me for who I am if everything is great but you think I am a little rough around the edges either you learn to be okay with those rough edges or move on because I am who I am and have no desire to alter myself or my marrerisms to accomodate your comfort.

I appreciate your view and yes I agree to disagree on the subject matter and accpet that both are Valid concepts, You just would not be happy with someone like me and I would have to see how willing you were move at my pace, if you weren't then no harm just not compatable.

Steel

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RE: Moving in too fast - 6/13/2009 10:45:03 PM

ZenDragoness

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quote:

do not believe it is a Bad thing for people to wait. I think there are people who are far to irresponsible with thier sexuality. Not to sound like a Hypocrit but I do not believe that some people are unable to realize that sexual activity is a responsibility.

I have to second that. Especially if it is concerning getting pregnant very young or in horrible situations.

And yes i know, some make this difficult situations a success, but it is the minority.

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RE: Moving in too fast - 6/14/2009 4:53:56 AM

agirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: nevergrowdup

OK, I'll be the first to admit that I am a sexual being. It doesn't take much to get me aroused if a guy knows how to push the right buttons. So, if on a first date and I'm feeling any chemistry, I've been known to break my self-imposed rules and get a little, uh, frisky. But here's the problem. It ruins it for me. I know it's the nature of the guy to try, but I seem to respect guys that have a bit of self-restraint on the first date. After all ... he's the Dom ... he should be in control, no? The longer he leaves me hanging, the more I want him.

Earlier tonight I was chatting with a guy and he immediately started in on the sex talk. I politely pointed out that he'd lose points with me if he pushed too quickly. It's like, what do you really want? Do you want to work me up into a sexual frenzy and get a short term benefit, or are you willing to take things slow and wait until I build up that comfort with you?

Am I alone in this?

Based on this......it does look like a bit of a game. YOU get frisky yourself, but lose respect for the guy if HE does.

Forgive me for finding this strangely simple.........If a guy starts flirting sexually and I'm not interested .....I continue to be myself, my uninterested self. I don't think badly of someone that has an aim that I'm not sharing. If they've managed to to get me *frisky*, it's because of ME as well as them. I might not want to have a relationship with them based on a frisky/frisky encounter but I wouldn't consider them less *dominant* for something I willingly took part in either. How is anyone to know that you prefer to be left hanging, if you're all friskified and giving signals that you *want it*?

It doesn't matter to me what they are trying to do, if it's not working, they'll either drift off, try a different tack or ask about it. It seems weird to me, that's all.....if I'm having sex or engaging in sexual talk ....it's hardly their fault.

agirl

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RE: Moving in too fast - 6/15/2009 10:01:31 AM

MistressMeltz

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Unfortunately, some guys dont listen too well. Maybe he was in overdrive himself. He might have been turned on to the physical and might be exactly like you.....

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