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rednicky -> A very interesting question I found online :D (6/15/2009 6:38:47 PM)
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What do you think Guys? Is a girls lack of submission a deal breaker in a relationship? What would you suggest for this poor sap. I'd tell you the website where I found this but I think it's against the rules.
"Hi I'm Dan and I'm 27. I get laughed at when I ask this question in real life so I'm taking it to the internet.
My long time girlfriend of 3 years is the love of my life. We have so much fun together. She's my best friend. You can do things with her that you couldn't do with most women. She's the only girl I know who plays basketball well and video games. She never nags me about the toilet seat or the mess I've made once I leave the room. She means everything to me and I hope I can call her me wife one day. But, she doesn't let me provide anything for her. Not even the smallest gesture of kindness. She doesn't want me getting the door for her or pulling out her chair for her. She said she'd rather get them herself. When it came to paying the bill at dinner, we use to go dutch during the first 3 months of our relationship. Now we take turns. First she paid, then I paid, then she paid, etc. Apart from that, the only time I can get her anything is on her birthday and our anniversaries. When we first started going out I thought I was in heaven having such a self sufficient, low maintenance girl who doesn't want a man who pays for everything or buys her anything. She was practically one of the guys. Except for the sex of course lol. But now, the man in me wants to come out. I am a born provider and protecter and I'm getting to a point where I don't want her to be totally self sufficient. I want her to need things from me. Because that's what a relationship is based on. Both people being needed by the other. I asked my friends about this and they kind of laughed. They don't have the 'problem' I do. Their girlfriends are more than happy to take gifts and they earn brownie points if they practice Chivalry. Not me.
I don't mean to go back to 1950 or anything but I do want my girlfriend to be a little submissive to me. There's nothing wrong with her being so strong. I just want to be the stronger one in her life. I want to be the rock that she leans on. but she's never really needed me for anything. I feel useless in this relationship. I'm a man. A man wants to leader. But it's like we're fighting for power...and she's winning.
We're physical and all but I want her to be my little girl. She's petite and cute and I can't help but want to protect her and provide for her and be a man. But when I bring it up she says "I don't need to be a man. I just need to be 'her' man." I know that what she said sounds deep and all when I write it but it's left me with a big empty feeling inside. I want to be the Dominant alpha male in her life but...she freaking won't let me! I tried to sort of force my Dominance upon her once but holding the door for her and refusing to let go until she went in. We stood there for a good solid minute just staring at each other as she defiantly said 'no'. People were behind her so I had to eventually accept that. Worst feeling ever. I love her too much to break up with her. Besides, what kind of a reason for breaking up with her is that? "Oh she wouldn't let me hold the door open for her so I called our 3 year relationship off." But this is the only thing that's sort of keeping me from popping the question. When I'm married I want to be the head of household. I'm a Christian and I strongly believe that Men and the head and women are the backbone. What if she won't let me be?
I don't mean to offend any women here but...How can I get my girlfriend to act like a freaking girl?! How do I get her to be a little needy?! Be a little submissive?! Be a WOMAN?!"
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