agirl
Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
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I've come across this with men in my life before.
All the things that attracted them in the first instance, such as....... being able to change the wheel on the car, not fussing about things like a bit of mess, not peering in a mirror every half hour to check my make-up and not needing a stream of compliments, or gifts etc etc......were fine for a while. But there'd come a time when they realised that I REALLY was like that and it became less attractive. They wanted to impress or affect me in the ways that THEY wanted to. Although they didn't actually express it, as this chap has, it became clear as they *tried* to push what THEY wanted to be like, on me. I couldn't possibly *lean* on someone if I'm perfectly capable of sorting things out for myself. It's a silly contortion. If I need to lean, and there's the correct person there, with the skills, willing and able ....I'll lean.
He's not in a relationship where it's agreed that HE decides things. It's no use just wishing or hoping.......If you've got an independant, self-sufficient lady, unless you ACTUALLY agree together that ONE of you has the *say*, you're just pissing in the wind. She just doesn't appear to *need* him in the way he wants to be *needed*. There's only a fight for power because he's fighting for something she either doesn't want, doesn't need and is, possibly, oblivious to.
But, she doesn't let me provide anything for her.
Unless she's bloody-minded, she may not have seen anything you can provide that she can't, or is interested in.
But now, the man in me wants to come out.
Where was he for the last 3 yrs?
I want her to need things from me.
Because it'd make you feel better about yourself? ........but perhaps, not her.
I don't want her to be totally self sufficient.
Because it'd make you feel better about yourself?...but perhaps, not her.
I want her to need things from me.
Because it'd make you feel better about yourself? ....but perhaps, not her.
I do want my girlfriend to be a little submissive to me.
Nothing wrong with that at all........but you've been more than content with her as she's been thus far.
I just want to be the stronger one in her life.
If you are, then you are. If you're not, then you're not. You can't just *want* it and expect it to occur.
I want to be the rock that she leans on.
If you are, then you are. If she hasn't found she needs you as that, would you like her to pretend to?
A man wants to leader
Certainly, some men do. But you have to have someone who recognises that in YOU and wants it in the way YOU do it.
I want her to be my little girl.
It doesn't look like she does, though.
want to protect her and provide for her and be a man.
All super sentiments if you're with someone that also wants that ....from YOU, in the way you'd do it.
I want to be the Dominant alpha male in her life.
Then you have to find out how to do that...instead of looking at her as slightly faulty.
How can I get my girlfriend to act like a freaking girl?! How do I get her to be a little needy?! Be a little submissive?! Be a WOMAN?!"
If you want someone to *need* you, you have to provide something they need. If you want them to be a *little submissive*, give them something they can be submissive TO. Unless you have an agreement, you'll have to provide it; it doesn't spring out of the ether.
As for the *being a woman* part.....She is.....She's just not fitting your idea of what you WANT as one, at the moment.
Often, when we get what we THINK we want, we find we lose what we had. All that green grass can give you a massive belly-ache, you know.
I wonder what SHE wants?
agirl
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RE: A very interesting question I found online :D - 
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