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RE: A very interesting question I found online :D - 6/17/2009 2:40:55 PM   
softness


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quote:

ORIGINAL: rednicky

I don't mean to offend any women here but...How can I get my girlfriend to act like a freaking girl?! How do I get her to be a little needy?! Be a little submissive?! Be a WOMAN?!"



This is fast reply .,. so I am sure I am joining the long line of posts stating that your definition of what a woman is could do with some work

woman = needy/submissive/in need of guidance/dependent

In terms of your definition of a woman ... I fail on all counts. I have a career, I live alone and handle everything from DIY to bills, I have absolutely no need of a man in my to provide anything for me as I am fully able to provide everything I need for myself. I am not defined by my needs but by my ability to meet them myself.

I am submissive. I have an Owner who is very much the Old Fashioned Gent. He opens doors for me, pulls out chairs, orders the food and pays. He does none of this because I am unable to but because they are gestures of respect towards me as a woman, and I make the choice to show Him respect by deferring such things to Him. Does that mean if I didn't do them I would be any less a woman? ... no

I personally am rather partial to old fashioned manners, it was how I was raised and so I like them when conducted in the right spirit. When Sir helps me out of the car on a night out He does it for many reasons, but none of them are because I am somehow a moron who cannot manage it on my own.

Consider perhaps that this girl has no interest in such "old fashioned" values and protocols. If they are so important for you then find someone who shares them. I would make sure you have them for the right reasons. Do you want to pay/hold her hand/pull her chair out because it makes you feel more of a man ... or because you wish to demonstrate care and respect?




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Profile   Post #: 61
RE: A very interesting question I found online :D - 6/17/2009 2:56:36 PM   
AlexandraLynch


Posts: 778
Joined: 3/24/2008
Status: offline 		I suspect that the person who wrote the letter is a Christian of a certain denominational type. There is an institutionalized gendered power dynamic in those particular denominations, and some of the words they use for that are all over that letter. 

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RE: A very interesting question I found online :D - 6/17/2009 3:12:50 PM   
rednicky


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

quote:

ORIGINAL: rednicky

Maybe. but men think like this. It's not like the idea just fell out of the sky.


Come to Iowa City Iowa, I would be happy to introduce you to many men that do not think like this at all. You need to start hanging out with a better class of men.




I never said that men don't think like this DON'T exist. Nor did I say that I have never come across men who don't think like this. I only said that men who do think like this DO exist.

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Profile   Post #: 63
RE: A very interesting question I found online :D - 6/17/2009 3:14:17 PM   
LaTigresse


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Status: offline 		Then you should have worded your statements to reflect that.

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Profile   Post #: 64
RE: A very interesting question I found online :D - 6/17/2009 3:17:42 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
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Status: offline 		I don't think it's the men.  I think it's the filter between her eyes and her memory.

"If I hadn't believed it, I wouldn't have seen it."


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Profile   Post #: 65
RE: A very interesting question I found online :D - 6/17/2009 3:26:48 PM   
rednicky


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Then you should have worded your statements to reflect that.



excuse me I did. I'm sure I never uttered the words people are claiming I said. You can go back and look if you like. Maybe people should just pay more attention. It's not a misunderstanding. People are putting words in my mouth.

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Profile   Post #: 66
RE: A very interesting question I found online :D - 6/17/2009 3:38:55 PM   
dreamerdreaming


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quote:

ORIGINAL: rednicky

I don't mean to offend any women here but...How can I get my girlfriend to act like a freaking girl?! How do I get her to be a little needy?! Be a little submissive?! Be a WOMAN?!"



I find the above extremely offensive. If that guy said this to my face, I'd hafta fight off the urge to break his arm.

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Profile   Post #: 67
RE: A very interesting question I found online :D - 6/17/2009 3:51:04 PM   
subtlebutterfly


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From: Not your hood
Status: offline 		OP you did say a couple of times "men think like this" but not "some men think like this" or "men who think like this" you kept repeating that men think like this. I'm sure we can interpret this any way we want. You simply should've made your statement more clear.

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RE: A very interesting question I found online :D - 6/17/2009 4:23:54 PM   
rednicky


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quote:

ORIGINAL: subtlebutterfly

OP you did say a couple of times "men think like this" but not "some men think like this" or "men who think like this" you kept repeating that men think like this. I'm sure we can interpret this any way we want. You simply should've made your statement more clear.



I said men like this. I never said 'all' men like this. Not once did I use an absolute.

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RE: A very interesting question I found online :D - 6/17/2009 5:27:04 PM   
sweetsub1957


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Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline 		~Fast Reply~
Oh shit.  Look what i started.  i say "just because 'most men think like this' doesn't make it right" and then the shit really hits the fan.  What the OP actually said was "most men think like this."  i actually copied & pasted it from the OP into my own post, so i know i got it word for word.  ~sitting back with my cold diet Coke and watching intently as the shit really hits the fan~

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Profile   Post #: 70
RE: A very interesting question I found online :D - 6/17/2009 5:34:34 PM   
rednicky


Posts: 313
Joined: 1/14/2009
Status: offline 		At no point was I defending the man for thinking the way he thinks. So I don't even know why you brought up right and wrong. All I was saying is that most men think like this (which I feel is true.)

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RE: A very interesting question I found online :D - 6/17/2009 5:37:55 PM   
LadyPact


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Status: offline 		I firmly agree with LaT.  Perhaps the issue is that you need to get to know a better quality of males.  Please note that I said quality, not quantity.

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Profile   Post #: 72
RE: A very interesting question I found online :D - 6/17/2009 5:41:40 PM   
rednicky


Posts: 313
Joined: 1/14/2009
Status: offline 		Okay now I'm defending a little. I don't think that this guy thinking this way means he's a less quality man nor do I think men who think like he does are of less quality. It's a preference. He's different from us. That's like those outside of our lifestyle thinking that we aren't quality people just because we think differently. So I know plenty of quality people.

< Message edited by rednicky -- 6/17/2009 5:42:10 PM >

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RE: A very interesting question I found online :D - 6/17/2009 8:05:49 PM   
GotSteel


Posts: 5871
Joined: 2/19/2008
Status: offline 		Well nobodies perfect, your going to have to accept a few flaws in any relationship. If the worst of it is that she wants to open her own doors, I don't have that much sympathy for you. Is that the issue or is it something more fundamental to the relationship? Are you trying to force a D/S dynamic on someone who has no interest in one?  What does being Christian have to do with anything?

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Profile   Post #: 74
RE: A very interesting question I found online :D - 6/17/2009 8:22:26 PM   
WyldHrt


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quote:

I said men like this. I never said 'all' men like this. Not once did I use an absolute.

Sorry, but I disagree:
Post #55
quote:

Well I never said that men who think like this are right. I simply said that men think like this.

Post #58
quote:

Maybe. but men think like this. It's not like the idea just fell out of the sky.

The statement "Men think like this" with no qualifier is an absolute.


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Profile   Post #: 75
RE: A very interesting question I found online :D - 6/17/2009 8:24:30 PM   
SteelofUtah


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Profile   Post #: 76
RE: A very interesting question I found online :D - 6/17/2009 8:26:11 PM   
WyldHrt


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I wonder if there's room for that in my sig....
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< Message edited by WyldHrt -- 6/17/2009 8:28:50 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 77
RE: A very interesting question I found online :D - 6/17/2009 10:08:06 PM   
theRose4U


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Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I know you the line says that the questions don't mean to cause anyone offense, but that last paragraph implies that females with Dominant type personalities aren't women.  If whoever wrote the above thinks that way, that women are only submissive types, the author is pretty mistaken.


Would agree except he explained that he's one of those fundimentalist chowder heads and that's basically his whole arguement...me man, her chattle...submit.

Sounds frankly like he doesn't have the marbles to challenge her and she's not willing to give up what she's earned. Nothing most dommes haven't seen before.

Simple answer for the dude is 2 fold:
1) get your manhood out of her purse and use it...possibly to your detriment
2) submit and quit whining

these are the choices.

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Profile   Post #: 78
RE: A very interesting question I found online :D - 6/17/2009 10:43:46 PM   
Arpig


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quote:

I mean, when you think about it, most men think like this,
And your vast 20 years experience lets you state this with confidence does it? How in the @##@!$%(*&&^%$ would you know what most men think. I've been male for damn near 50 years and I couldn't tell you what most men think. It may come as a surprise to you, but we are not as dumb as we appear on TV, nor are we as one-dimensional. Every man is different, every man has his own take on things. /rant

There, now I feel better. Peace all.


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RE: A very interesting question I found online :D - 6/17/2009 11:44:12 PM   
Asherdelampyr


Posts: 9556
Joined: 11/14/2006
From: The Desert
Status: offline 		This isnt an interesting question, its the sorry result of one child asking another for advice ((Which, incedentally I am pretty sureis exactly how the whole "Emo" thing got started)


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