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RE: On Male/Female Ratios - 6/16/2009 5:09:30 PM   
Libertaire


Posts: 27
Joined: 6/6/2009
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quote:

There is also the do-me factor (or let me do-you factor) of many men in the scene. They're looking for a fetish object, so they're going "shopping" at what they think is the fetish object store (sites like this, clubs, etc). Not interested in the personhood of the female, they are hunting purely kink fulfillment. This is there sometimes but seemingly much, much rarer in females so not as many come "shopping".

Then you've social biased and gender role teachings over-all -including some females being afraid to look/come into such a place despite their interest due to the predator fear in it.

And, the male types described above go a ways at keeping the female numbers down, too... online it's not so bad because you can block and delete messages somewhat from the creeps, but creeps in real life are harder to get rid of.


Interesting, I think all of these are valid points. I suppose as a man I see searching for particular attributes as a logical method for 'shopping' whereas women are less inclined to this position.


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RE: On Male/Female Ratios - 6/16/2009 5:11:34 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Many women love to shop... but shopping for men isn't so hard when they (women) are hunted.

< Message edited by Lockit -- 6/16/2009 5:12:49 PM >

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RE: On Male/Female Ratios - 6/16/2009 5:13:28 PM   
Huntertn


Posts: 715
Joined: 10/7/2006
Status: offline 		actually, I wonder if its not just a bit more simple ... most guys have more free money to waste...and I've noticed we are more willing to spend it on things like that... Not to say some ladies don't have it or spend it even.

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RE: On Male/Female Ratios - 6/16/2009 5:15:14 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

Its because when most men use their "head" they will sell their souls for an orgasm.


That is pure, unadulterated transcendental hogwash.

(However....a car....a house....without a doubt....)

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Profile   Post #: 24
RE: On Male/Female Ratios - 6/16/2009 5:18:08 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		LOL... Lookie wants more than that... he wants someone to pick up his socks...

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RE: On Male/Female Ratios - 6/16/2009 5:18:46 PM   
curiousINct


Posts: 85
Joined: 8/18/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Huntertn

actually, I wonder if its not just a bit more simple ... most guys have more free money to waste...and I've noticed we are more willing to spend it on things like that... Not to say some ladies don't have it or spend it even.


I think it all comes down to the willingness to spend it on a certain thing. It's the same reason most clubs have 'ladies night' with free cover, etc. The men *will* pay, the women will go b/c they don't have to.

OP: I don't think women are more likely to 'settle', we simply have a different way of finding what we want.

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RE: On Male/Female Ratios - 6/16/2009 5:27:39 PM   
ShaharThorne


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Joined: 2/24/2009
From: Somewhere in TX
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

LOL... Lookie wants more than that... he wants someone to pick up his socks...


I offered to pick up his socks, but he is not able to handle all of me...

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RE: On Male/Female Ratios - 6/16/2009 5:30:58 PM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Libertaire

Anyway, I was wondering why it is that men seem to dominate these kinds of sites in terms of membership.


Despiration.

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RE: On Male/Female Ratios - 6/16/2009 5:32:09 PM   
Libertaire


Posts: 27
Joined: 6/6/2009
Status: offline
quote:



OP: I don't think women are more likely to 'settle', we simply have a different way of finding what we want.



However, you and indeed every woman who has replied to this has joined this community and has chosen to use it... So I suppose this moves into another question. Why have you (and by 'you' I mean all of the women here) joined this and other fetish communities in lieu of the fact that so fewer women chose to than men?


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RE: On Male/Female Ratios - 6/16/2009 5:35:15 PM   
LotusSong


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From: Domme Emeritus
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Libertaire

So women are generally less liberated than men then.



We simply are more in control of ourselves. We can pick and choose and yes.. we have da pooosay!!!!!

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RE: On Male/Female Ratios - 6/16/2009 5:40:45 PM   
RumpusParable


Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline 		I'm here mostly for the pure entertainment. 

Edited to add:

Oh, but to clarify, I'm a female not a woman.  Not sure which it is that matters most in this conversation.

< Message edited by RumpusParable -- 6/16/2009 6:02:43 PM >

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RE: On Male/Female Ratios - 6/16/2009 5:44:26 PM   
curiousINct


Posts: 85
Joined: 8/18/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Libertaire

quote:



OP: I don't think women are more likely to 'settle', we simply have a different way of finding what we want.



However, you and indeed every woman who has replied to this has joined this community and has chosen to use it... So I suppose this moves into another question. Why have you (and by 'you' I mean all of the women here) joined this and other fetish communities in lieu of the fact that so fewer women chose to than men?



One day last summer, someone asked me 'are you into BDSM?' sooo....I googled to find out what BDSM was.  One of my searches that day led me to this site and I joined to find out more - and have kept coming back to read b/c somewhere in all the things I read, I found myself. So for me, it was just a random question asked and a horrible addiction to Google.

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Profile   Post #: 32
RE: On Male/Female Ratios - 6/16/2009 5:59:00 PM   
gentlemanprince


Posts: 127
Joined: 5/19/2008
Status: offline 		If you look at it a different way the ratio is not all that lopsided.  Exclude all those hng's and wannabe's and the guys who just want to get laid.  Consider only those men (and women) who are looking for a relationship that goes beyond kinky sex.  I've talked to a lot of women and read many profiles.  It appears that many women are having just as much trouble as men finding a  quality D/s relationship.  I suspect that the ratio of quality persons is closer to even than the statistic normally cited.

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RE: On Male/Female Ratios - 6/16/2009 5:59:51 PM   
CatdeMedici


Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LookieNoNookie

quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

Its because when most men use their "head" they will sell their souls for an orgasm.


That is pure, unadulterated transcendental hogwash.

(However....a car....a house....without a doubt....)



Prove it.

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RE: On Male/Female Ratios - 6/16/2009 6:09:29 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		The huge secret is that the ratio is NOT that skewed.  If you can show that you're not an idiot, the odds improve a LOT.

Write a woman here and say "I think you're way hot!"  or "You have nice tits!" and your mail will get trashed instantly.  But write her and include a copy of a post she made here or a journal entry and speak directly to it.  Agree with it or disagree and state why.  If you do this and do it well, you'll find that there are plenty of women.




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RE: On Male/Female Ratios - 6/16/2009 6:13:10 PM   
RedMagic1


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Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: gentlemanprince

If you look at it a different way the ratio is not all that lopsided.  Exclude all those hng's and wannabe's and the guys who just want to get laid.  Consider only those men (and women) who are looking for a relationship that goes beyond kinky sex.  I've talked to a lot of women and read many profiles.  It appears that many women are having just as much trouble as men finding a  quality D/s relationship.  I suspect that the ratio of quality persons is closer to even than the statistic normally cited.

This is correct.  The 10-to-1 ratio is a fallacy, because trolls send far more emails, set up multiple profiles, etc.  Statistics here.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_2435531/mpage_1/tm.htm


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Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
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RE: On Male/Female Ratios - 6/16/2009 6:16:04 PM   
peppermint


Posts: 5171
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline 		Those fetish sites you talk about are dominated by porn.  Men LOVE to look at naughty pictures whereas most women couldn't care less.  I once read somewhere where porn is to men what romance novels are to women. 

In other words, a woman's boat and a man's boat do not float by the same means.  We are inheritantly different. 

This means that fetish sites with lots of pictures of boobs and asses will get lots of guys willing to pay for the priviledge of just looking at the pictures.  Since the sites NEED some women or no one would go there, they offer free membership to women.  So, as long as men want/need/desire/love to look at porn, the inequtiy of the system will remain. 

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Profile   Post #: 37
RE: On Male/Female Ratios - 6/16/2009 6:16:23 PM   
Libertaire


Posts: 27
Joined: 6/6/2009
Status: offline 		Some very informative posts, thankyou.

Could those statistics be skewed however by the vast amount of cam girls on many sites and men pretending to be bisexual/lesbian women in order to get nude pictures?


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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: On Male/Female Ratios - 6/16/2009 6:19:53 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Libertaire

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Women don't need to pay for it, women can get men lining up to have sex with them. Women are more choosy than men, so we are more willing to wait. But more men want to have sex no matter if they like the woman or not.


Surely then if they are more choosy they would utilise websites where their choices are more accurately defined and they are able to search in a particular manner?



You're assuming that by choosy I meant solely sex and BDSM. I didn't. I can go anywhere and get guys to spank me before fucking me, why would I need to come to a special site for that? But guys can't get women to be so accomodating.

However by choosy I meant in what I need in a partner. Moral values, personality traits, etc. I'm not going to settle for a spank and fuck with a man I cannot respect. I'm not that desperate, doing without would be far better than waking up in the morning and disliking myself for being with someone so horribly wrong for me.

We can find sex and play in real life, in nonfetish places. Men can't.

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RE: On Male/Female Ratios - 6/16/2009 6:22:47 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Libertaire
the vast amount of cam girls on many sites

They are only "vast" within very specific age and weight ranges.  There's some error in any statistical study, but there are more female profiles on CM over the age of 30 than under, so there just aren't that many scammers/cam girls/lying men, not really.  Men who are looking for the 21 year old Asian with the DD bosom seem to run into a lot of fake profiles, though, for some reason.


_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to Libertaire)
Profile   Post #: 40
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