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RE: On Male/Female Ratios - 6/16/2009 6:24:38 PM

Libertaire

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Joined: 6/6/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

quote:

ORIGINAL: Libertaire

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Women don't need to pay for it, women can get men lining up to have sex with them. Women are more choosy than men, so we are more willing to wait. But more men want to have sex no matter if they like the woman or not.

Surely then if they are more choosy they would utilise websites where their choices are more accurately defined and they are able to search in a particular manner?

You're assuming that by choosy I meant solely sex and BDSM. I didn't. I can go anywhere and get guys to spank me before fucking me, why would I need to come to a special site for that? But guys can't get women to be so accomodating.

I'm not assuming that. I am also talking about personality traits as well as kinks and so forth.

quote:

We can find sex and play in real life, in nonfetish places. Men can't.

Logically this doesn't make sense. If these women can find this (and wish to do this with men) and men can't, how are these women finding anything? If men are involved then surely they can?

< Message edited by Libertaire -- 6/16/2009 6:26:02 PM >

_____________________________

"The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me.”
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(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 41

RE: On Male/Female Ratios - 6/16/2009 6:25:34 PM

slavekal

Posts: 1486
Joined: 7/20/2004
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The ratio is almost irrelevant. Out of ten men, four are married, two won't bother to show up for a meeting, and three will be socially inept or weigh five hundred pounds. If a guy is single and available and showers regularly, he will distinguish himself from the crowd.

_____________________________

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Post #: 42

RE: On Male/Female Ratios - 6/16/2009 6:27:25 PM

Trekkie

Posts: 40
Joined: 5/23/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Libertaire

Yes, I understand that men outnumber women in these communities, but why is that?

Now that's a different question.

Just my personal (uninformed) opinion, but I'd say that the #1 reason why you see more men than women in "the BDSM world" is safety concerns.

My suspicion is that very few men spend a lot of time worrying that women will lie to them, drug them unconscious, and rape them. (And the ones that do think about it, want it to happen.)

(in reply to Libertaire)

Post #: 43

RE: On Male/Female Ratios - 6/16/2009 6:29:17 PM

Libertaire

Posts: 27
Joined: 6/6/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: Libertaire
the vast amount of cam girls on many sites

Men who are looking for the 21 year old Asian with the DD bosom seem to run into a lot of fake profiles, though, for some reason.

Well I've never gone looking for 21 year old Asians with DD bosoms since I don't personally find asian women attractive. I nonetheless have got hundreds of messages from these people either trying to sell me cam services or attempting to marry me and get a green card.

_____________________________

"The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me.”
-Ayn Rand

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 44

RE: On Male/Female Ratios - 6/16/2009 6:47:56 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Libertaire

quote:

We can find sex and play in real life, in nonfetish places. Men can't.

Logically this doesn't make sense. If these women can find this (and wish to do this with men) and men can't, how are these women finding anything? If men are involved then surely they can?

Because men mostly want to have sex and play first and foremost and are chasing that. Women are more likely to want a relationship first and don't care if we don't get our fetish fix that day. We're fine not having sex if it isn't in the context of a good relationship and men aren't happy not having it. And I'm including enforced chastity in that since I consider that sexual.

_____________________________

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(in reply to Libertaire)

Post #: 45

RE: On Male/Female Ratios - 6/16/2009 7:17:50 PM

aBondageTop

Posts: 82
Joined: 6/17/2006
Status: offline

There are plenty of kinky women... but most are not advertising here. Some don't even know they are kinky until you give them a chance to try it.

(in reply to Libertaire)

Post #: 46

RE: On Male/Female Ratios - 6/16/2009 8:58:34 PM

KneelforAnne

Posts: 1011
Joined: 6/14/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

The huge secret is that the ratio is NOT that skewed. If you can show that you're not an idiot, the odds improve a LOT.

Write a woman here and say "I think you're way hot!" or "You have nice tits!" and your mail will get trashed instantly. But write her and include a copy of a post she made here or a journal entry and speak directly to it. Agree with it or disagree and state why. If you do this and do it well, you'll find that there are plenty of women.

*sighs and has a crush....*

< Message edited by KneelforAnne -- 6/16/2009 9:25:08 PM >

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(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 47

RE: On Male/Female Ratios - 6/16/2009 9:15:57 PM

pyroaquatic

Posts: 1535
Joined: 12/4/2006
From: Pyroaquatica
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavekal

The ratio is almost irrelevant. Out of ten men, four are married, two won't bother to show up for a meeting, and three will be socially inept or weigh five hundred pounds. If a guy is single and available and showers regularly, he will distinguish himself from the crowd.

Yay! I have hope.

Sincerity is important. Honesty, Benevolence... Honor... a strong Moral Compass. Communication... hmm.... I could list more....

< Message edited by pyroaquatic -- 6/16/2009 9:20:17 PM >

(in reply to slavekal)

Post #: 48

RE: On Male/Female Ratios - 6/16/2009 9:32:15 PM

CountrySong

Posts: 554
Joined: 1/25/2008
Status: offline

I know how to lower the ratio - become a millionaire and post on RichDom's then the ratio will be 10 women to 1 guy. Oh and you will understand more about why so few women post on this site.

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Post #: 49

RE: On Male/Female Ratios - 6/16/2009 9:32:27 PM

Amaros

Posts: 1363
Joined: 7/25/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Women don't need to pay for it, women can get men lining up to have sex with them. Women are more choosy than men, so we are more willing to wait. But more men want to have sex no matter if they like the woman or not.

Technically, women have much higher reproductive costs, men's reproductive costs are theoretically close to zero, Zinc loss from ejaculation, and it matter little how many times a man ejaculates, his cost remain the same - it just takes once and a woman has a lifetime of responsibility.

Men in fact, appear to have evolved to ejaculate at least once every three days or so, after that, the sperm begins to degrade and reproductive potential is compromised - not entirely unlike menstruation for women, other than it's voluntary.

Not suprisingly, there are more irresponsible men than there are women - not to say that looking for freaky sex is irresponsible, just that as in all sexual role interactions, men require sex more frequently than women.

Insofar as strict numbers of people into kink, the ratios are surprisingly even, about the same number of women as men.

I'm guessing a there are a lot of guys just looking for a hookup, and to try out some freaky sex - in my experience, women in P/E are choosier and more in it for the long haul, i.e., as a lifestyle rather than as a lark or an experiment, and not surprisingly, many are already in relationships - that may account for the ratio differences.

That a woman is more likely to have had bad experiences than a man may also account for a certain amount of reticence.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 50

RE: On Male/Female Ratios - 6/17/2009 4:17:17 AM

slavekal

Posts: 1486
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline

There are many more women with kink potential than you might think. But women are not driven by sex like men are. They can put it away or just live in their heads. Not men. We are going to get our sexual needs met one day or another. But believe me, there are many women who take to this lifestyle easily and enthusiastically if it is presented to them properly.

_____________________________

"The Courage to Submit: the submissive male's guide to finding a dominant woman"
http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/the-courage-to-submit-the-guide-for-the-submissive-male-seeking-a-dominant-woman/5968917

(in reply to Amaros)

Post #: 51

RE: On Male/Female Ratios - 6/17/2009 5:35:57 AM

GotSteel

Posts: 5871
Joined: 2/19/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

at BDSM, Fetish, D/s events you would find the ratio much the same. I belive the number put out is that men outnumber women 10:1.

That hasn't been my experience. I don't have much exposure to the community but the fetish night I go to in Boston isn't a sausage fest and NELAs fetish fair fleamarket doesn't seem that way either.

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 52

RE: On Male/Female Ratios - 6/17/2009 8:09:46 AM

SmokingGun82

Posts: 575
Joined: 6/19/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Libertaire
I nonetheless have got hundreds of messages from these people either trying to sell me cam services or attempting to marry me and get a green card.

Up until here, I thought you were just a little socially inept, argumentative, and possibly someone who's replying just to screw around with people... my kinda guy, if you will. But if you're saying you've gotten hundreds of messages in fourteen days, all of them spam... that's where I start to think you're full of it.

To the original question, the reason is men are from Mars, and women are from Venus. Isn't that obvious?

_____________________________

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(in reply to Libertaire)

Post #: 53

RE: On Male/Female Ratios - 6/17/2009 8:15:16 AM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Libertaire
Every sex/fetish site that I have come across has been dominated by men.

Really? Like this site for instance? It's not like I've done any huge survey or anything but even on just this one post, I'm seeing a fair number of female responders. Am I missing something?

quote:

This has led quite naturally to many of them charging men for membership whilst letting women have full membership for 'free'.

Huh? OK, you go to different sites than I do. But that's fine by me. I'm going to guess that based on your statement above and this one, the sites you are going to are more geared towards "let's hookup for a quick fuck" than "let's meet for a hopefully lifelong relationship." And, gosh, big surprise that such sites would appeal more to some men than most women.

quote:

Well I've never gone looking for 21 year old Asians with DD bosoms since I don't personally find asian women attractive. I nonetheless have got hundreds of messages from these people either trying to sell me cam services or attempting to marry me and get a green card.

Huh... again? For the record, I think I've gotten about 2 scam mails. Maybe another 2 inappropriate mails (that is to say, girls looking to possibly hook up with me). I do, however, get a fair of real, meaningful, well thought out emails from various women on collarme and fetlife. So you really need to be asking yourself, why is your experience so different than mine?

I can't help shake the feeling that there is an underlying question here. Surely, at your age, you are well aware of the basics of the courtship dance. What is it that you really want to say or know?

< Message edited by leadership527 -- 6/17/2009 8:18:33 AM >

_____________________________

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I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to Libertaire)

Post #: 54

RE: On Male/Female Ratios - 6/17/2009 8:16:25 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavekal

There are many more women with kink potential than you might think. But women are not driven by sex like men are. They can put it away or just live in their heads. Not men. We are going to get our sexual needs met one day or another. But believe me, there are many women who take to this lifestyle easily and enthusiastically if it is presented to them properly.

Exactly what I was thinking........but worded better.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to slavekal)

Post #: 55

RE: On Male/Female Ratios - 6/17/2009 8:32:59 AM

Musicmystery

Posts: 30259
Joined: 3/14/2005
Status: offline

quote:

Well, I can go 'pretty much anywhere' and find a 'willing' woman, but that's only fine if all you are looking for is a 'willing' person. If you're looking for more than simply being 'willing' with particular attributes, kinks and views it becomes more difficult.

If this is the heart of your confusion, then the problem is simply that you are inexperienced and looking for simple answers.

This is the situation for everyone of all gender and gender orientation.

But it's not the same question you asked at all, so apparently, you just have time on your hands.

(in reply to Libertaire)

Post #: 56

RE: On Male/Female Ratios - 6/17/2009 8:36:14 AM

Musicmystery

Posts: 30259
Joined: 3/14/2005
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quote:

But women are not driven by sex like men are. They can put it away or just live in their heads. Not men. We are going to get our sexual needs met one day or another.

I don't find this is true at all. Women just don't want to sleep with any idiot who comes all. Who do you think the men are sleeping with? And, plenty of men go through long celibate periods for various reasons at various stages of their lives.

quote:

There are many more women with kink potential than you might think.

This part is true. Even the majority of them.

< Message edited by Musicmystery -- 6/17/2009 8:39:02 AM >

(in reply to slavekal)

Post #: 57

RE: On Male/Female Ratios - 6/17/2009 8:49:56 AM

Libertaire

Posts: 27
Joined: 6/6/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SmokingGun82

quote:

ORIGINAL: Libertaire
I nonetheless have got hundreds of messages from these people either trying to sell me cam services or attempting to marry me and get a green card.

Up until here, I thought you were just a little socially inept, argumentative, and possibly someone who's replying just to screw around with people...

Well clearly you're not a very good judge of character.

quote:

But if you're saying you've gotten hundreds of messages in fourteen days, all of them spam... that's where I start to think you're full of it.

I'm not referring to this particular website, but two others (AFF and alt) which I have been a member of for a much longer time.

_____________________________

"The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me.”
-Ayn Rand

(in reply to SmokingGun82)

Post #: 58

RE: On Male/Female Ratios - 6/17/2009 8:51:54 AM

pyroaquatic

Posts: 1535
Joined: 12/4/2006
From: Pyroaquatica
Status: offline

Hey now... not all men are sex machines. I am twenty two and I have only had four sexual partners. Don't generalize... someone already got on me for doing that here! I do not look for 'sex'. I do not go to bars and 'pick up womanz'.

i do not go to isle five to go get some chicks.
some of us men are in it for the long haul.... damnit. While other men are complaining about the ball and chain... some are excited by it. it cannot be anyone though. that would be quite stupid.

as for ratios go...

some mushrooms have seven different genders. on a random-walk basis the likelihood of one sex meeting the six others is 66.67% as opposed to a simple male to female ratio of 50%. Humans are a tad bit more selective than a mushroom though... you think?

(in reply to Musicmystery)

Post #: 59

RE: On Male/Female Ratios - 6/17/2009 8:52:18 AM

Libertaire

Posts: 27
Joined: 6/6/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Musicmystery

quote:

But it's not the same question you asked at all, so apparently, you just have time on your hands.

Naturally, one question can lead to another. I don't see how this is problematic?

_____________________________

"The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me.”
-Ayn Rand

(in reply to Musicmystery)

Post #: 60

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