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Physical strength and D/s - 6/20/2009 3:02:37 PM   
Andalusite


Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline 		In the "Dominant woman" thread over in P&RS, the poster argued that women should be submissive because men are stronger. I've seen some similar stuff over in the Gorean thread.

I'm not looking now, but when I was, I *did* want a man who was strong enough to be able to spot me in my gymnastics practice, playfight/wrestle with, etc., whether he was dominant, submissive, top, or bottom. I'm really strong relative to my size and gender, so I do have to be a bit careful sometimes, but all of the guys I've dated loved that, and didn't feel it made me less feminine. Anyway, there are plenty of men who are far stronger than I am, but who I don't react to on a D/s basis at all. One of my former friends picked me up, sitting in the palm of his hand, straight over my head, and threw me about 10 feet across the swimming pool. Sure, he could "make me" do something, if he were so inclined, but that has nothing to do with consensual D/s.

Anyway, how important is physical strength in your relationships?
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RE: Physical strength and D/s - 6/20/2009 3:06:24 PM   
pyroaquatic


Posts: 1535
Joined: 12/4/2006
From: Pyroaquatica
Status: offline 		Personally I like feeling 'overpowered' but that rarely gets to happen. for as small as I am i can dish out some major strength. The most I have ever lifted was my friend that weighed about 380 pounds. He was quite surprised when I did so and started to kick his feet. Of course I strained myself way to hard and saw some major spots and had to sit my ass down. quick.

when i do wrestle i tend to be a bit squirm but i will be fighting you off.

< Message edited by pyroaquatic -- 6/20/2009 3:07:51 PM >

(in reply to Andalusite)
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RE: Physical strength and D/s - 6/20/2009 3:10:28 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		I had a giant of a man get tired of looking down to talk to me.  All of a sudden I found myself on his arm, lifted in a sitting position so he didn't have to hurt his neck.  I loved it... called him King Kong, but I still told him where to walk us.  Of course I did say... honey anything you want, you can have... as a joke... but I did run things after that. That was such a great week!

I love physical strength as well as mental and emotional... and my submissive partners don't have to be less than I am in these area's and I don't have to be more.  That isn't what determines our place in one another's life.

A strong submissive works very well with me!  Mmmmmmm

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RE: Physical strength and D/s - 6/20/2009 3:15:57 PM   
Andalusite


Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline 		When I had a submissive, I loved that he was so strong - all that power at my whim to command.

(in reply to Lockit)
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RE: Physical strength and D/s - 6/20/2009 3:17:28 PM   
GYPZYQUEEN


Posts: 730
Joined: 4/14/2009
Status: offline 		Physical strength is not important to me( a D)( re my subs..or mates) in realtionship.....but it is often important to them 
 BECUZ I AM STRONGER THAN MANY MEN..
 
Some love it..some do not...some ask about it as part of their submission..wanting  to be pinned..forced..overpowered physically...
Some say "I could take you down" as a challenge or perhaps  wondering..
It does not matter to me ..the sub's strength,,

I enjoy my strength and must have inheirited it from my wieght lifter dad..
I have always moved my own fridges ... stoves..been called at work by men & women  to move things.. and never thought much of it..until one day a stream of traffic had stopped by my house and I realized I was being watched moving one large one washing machine after another to the curb from a back alley dump site.

Equating physical strength with dominance is very MONKEY to me ...survival of the fittest and had its place..where a female with young on her back would go with a strong male for protection etc.It is inate and still in our base brain I guess..

IN relationship it has only been important as an added enhancement to play and fetish ( impact..wrestling..forced) OR if the mate was weirded out..or needed planks moved in the barn..OR I wanted equal help in moving things etc.
 
oh And I love big hairy bikers as I said over on that thread..



GQ

< Message edited by GYPZYQUEEN -- 6/20/2009 3:20:50 PM >

(in reply to Andalusite)
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RE: Physical strength and D/s - 6/20/2009 3:25:37 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		My son was an oil rigger, one tough job!  He was one of the strongest men I ever knew!  Yet when he was taken to the hospital he weighed 110.  Moving pipe hundreds of pounds.  He was submissive to his girlfriend who was pretty large... but like that pipe, he could lift her and pin her or whatever.  Strength has nothing to do with dominance or submission except maybe some fun times.

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RE: Physical strength and D/s - 6/20/2009 3:48:49 PM   
MarcEsadrian


Posts: 852
Joined: 8/24/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Andalusite

In the "Dominant woman" thread over in P&RS, the poster argued that women should be submissive because men are stronger. I've seen some similar stuff over in the Gorean thread.

I'm not looking now, but when I was, I *did* want a man who was strong enough to be able to spot me in my gymnastics practice, playfight/wrestle with, etc., whether he was dominant, submissive, top, or bottom. I'm really strong relative to my size and gender, so I do have to be a bit careful sometimes, but all of the guys I've dated loved that, and didn't feel it made me less feminine. Anyway, there are plenty of men who are far stronger than I am, but who I don't react to on a D/s basis at all. One of my former friends picked me up, sitting in the palm of his hand, straight over my head, and threw me about 10 feet across the swimming pool. Sure, he could "make me" do something, if he were so inclined, but that has nothing to do with consensual D/s.

Anyway, how important is physical strength in your relationships?


A draft horse seventeen hands high lead around by a petite girl with a riding crop illustrates fairly well that strength sometimes has little to do with dominance. The girl and horse is analogous to human D/s relationships in that there are plenty of women who command men twice their size and strength with a mere glance. It's stating the obvious that the keys to effective dominance are mental, that the primary locus is internal. Brute force has its uses, but cunning and acuity and the ability to lead is far more effective in the long term.

That said, I've often mentioned that I hold the dominant party to a series of high standards, one among them being physical soundness. A dominant male or female needn't be career gymnasts, but since the physical is often a reflection of the mental, I naturally expect them to be relatively healthy and capable. Those who enfeeble themselves with sloth, substance addiction and obesity show hints that they are suspect in their ability to lead another. That is of course my opinion. YMMV.

(in reply to Andalusite)
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RE: Physical strength and D/s - 6/20/2009 3:53:19 PM   
DavanKael


Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline 		A male partner being physically strong is extremely important to me.  I make no bones about the fact that I want a man who can and would defend me physically if needed. 
I am a woman of small stature but I'm a lot stronger than many people would tend to think and I dislike the idea of being with someone who is not at least, pound for pound, as strong as am I; I don't want some guy I have to worry about breaking, lol! 
  Davan

_____________________________

May you live as long as you wish & love as long as you live
-Robert A Heinlein

It's about the person & the bond,not the bondage
-Me

Waiting is

170NZ (Aka:Sex God Du Jour) pts

Jesus,I've ALWAYS been a deviant
-Leadership527,Jeff

(in reply to MarcEsadrian)
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RE: Physical strength and D/s - 6/20/2009 3:57:47 PM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Andalusite
In the "Dominant woman" thread over in P&RS, the poster argued that women should be submissive because men are stronger.

In my relationship personally the fact that I am larger than Carol doesn't enter into the equation at all.

In the larger sense, since the OP has speculated, I will also. I personally find this concept laughable. This idea is not supported in the animal kingdom and makes even less sense in the human realm. It also happens to fly in the face of ... well... every single day to day experience we have. Last I checked, Barack Obama was a skinny guy. Amazing how he is, at this moment, in a position that one might reasonably call dominant over the entire United States.

I personally prefer my theories to fit with at least some known facts rather than simply be spun from thin air.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

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RE: Physical strength and D/s - 6/20/2009 4:01:59 PM   
HeavansKeeper


Posts: 1254
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline 		While strength is certainly neither sufficient nor necessary to dominance, it can make a lot of fantasies happen.

Being able to manhandle a woman like she was a barbie doll seems to rank up there with other key fantasies.

I can't say as I blame them - nothing enhances submission like comparatively less power. Nothing has made me more aware of the joys of strength as being in a long distance relationship. I've spent countless hours in an effort to extend my strength... reach... power of her from afar. It'd be so much easier to grab a fist-full of hair and push down.

In short, physical power is a kicker.

As a side note, I know many women desire a man who could physically defend them... I wonder what the incidence of spousal abuse is among men who "could easily defend her from other men"... Curious.

< Message edited by HeavansKeeper -- 6/20/2009 4:03:49 PM >

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... You've waited your whole life for this moment...

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RE: Physical strength and D/s - 6/20/2009 4:16:09 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		I find the idea of being dominated by a petite, delicate woman a great turn-on.  Something about the contrast.  But, then again, women with muscles . . . . . 

Hmm, all good, in different ways. 

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RE: Physical strength and D/s - 6/20/2009 4:24:14 PM   
greenearth21


Posts: 228
Joined: 7/9/2006
Status: offline 		I prefer, therefore gravitate toward a men who is physically stronger than me.


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RE: Physical strength and D/s - 6/20/2009 4:56:42 PM   
DavanKael


Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HeavansKeeper
As a side note, I know many women desire a man who could physically defend them... I wonder what the incidence of spousal abuse is among men who "could easily defend her from other men"... Curious.


I made the assertion about wanting a man who can physically protect me, so I'll answer this, at least from my experience and prespective. 
Hopefully I'm not jinxing myself here but I've never, in my adult life, been struck against my will by a man with whom I've been in a relationship. 
Should someone decide to do that, he'd better make sure he ends me 'cause otherwise, he's gotta sleep sometime and I may be little but I can be mean as hell!  And, if he does end me, he'd better run far, far away 'cause I have family and friends who'd take up the cause if I were unable. 
  Davan

_____________________________

May you live as long as you wish & love as long as you live
-Robert A Heinlein

It's about the person & the bond,not the bondage
-Me

Waiting is

170NZ (Aka:Sex God Du Jour) pts

Jesus,I've ALWAYS been a deviant
-Leadership527,Jeff

(in reply to HeavansKeeper)
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RE: Physical strength and D/s - 6/20/2009 5:16:31 PM   
DVsFox


Posts: 133
Joined: 11/12/2008
Status: offline 		My Owner is physically strong woman.  In fact, she can overpower me with relative ease.  Due to the fact we're both into Martial Arts(She's a second-degree black belt in karate and I'm an orange belt in Tang Soo Do), we have sparred a bit in the past.  Needless to say, her technique greatly exceeds mine at this point and it's really no contest as to who is the better fighter.  So yeah, she's got me beat in terms of physical strength and technique.  Technique being most important, because it certainly helps to somewhat nullify strength advantages/disadvantages.  Not that I'm a pushover, mind you...far from it.  I'm a lot stronger than I look.  I think, if necessary, I could defend her...it's just really not neccesary, LOL.  She's been in quite a bit of physical altercations in her life and she has a great deal of experience in actual fighting, as well as sparring.  She can protect the both of us.

Is it important to me that she's physically stronger than me?  No.  It's really cool and I find it quite sexy, but I'd be just as submissive to her if she was a dainty flower. :-)

DV's Fox

< Message edited by DVsFox -- 6/20/2009 5:18:24 PM >

(in reply to DavanKael)
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RE: Physical strength and D/s - 6/20/2009 5:23:15 PM   
Ialdabaoth


Posts: 1073
Joined: 5/4/2008
From: Tempe, AZ
Status: offline 		In general, if I need something done that requires physical strength, I use a tool. Sometimes that tool is a lever, sometimes it's a forklift, sometimes it's a 240-lb musclebound boy who's eager to please.

It's all about the right tool for the job.

If I ever have to prove my physical "superiority" to a slave, well... either there's a serious problem, in which case we're no longer really talking about D/s, or we're simply engaged in the sort of "light sparring" dominance games that some people seem to need. Either way, I've found that finesse and a good knowledge of pressure points goes a lot further than raw brute strength.

(in reply to DVsFox)
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RE: Physical strength and D/s - 6/20/2009 5:28:07 PM   
pixidustpet


Posts: 857
Joined: 6/4/2008
Status: offline 		my ex husband weighs in at about 125, 5'5" tall.  his ex g/f was about 5'10" and *ahem*  a good bit heavier than i am, and i'm not a wee little thing.

he could toss her over his shoulder and carry her around, much less doing that to me.  quite impressive.

personally, i think the muscle between the ears is the muscle that counts in BDSM... being able to put a hurt on someone can be a good thing, yes.  but *anyone* can hurt someone else, it takes a good dominant to know how to do it effectively and tailor that experience to the submissive before them.

just my point of view,
kitten

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RE: Physical strength and D/s - 6/20/2009 5:28:53 PM   
lronitulstahp


Posts: 5392
Joined: 10/17/2007
Status: offline
quote:

I could defend her...it's just really not neccesary, LOL.  She's been in quite a bit of physical altercations in her life and she has a great deal of experience in actual fighting, as well as sparring.  She can protect the both of us.

Is it important to me that she's physically stronger than me?  No.  It's really cool and I find it quite sexy, but I'd be just as submissive to her if she was a dainty flower. :-)

 i love everything about the above quote...

It's quite evident when being around you, the energy you two share is lovely to behold. Great post!

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Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for." -Bob Marley

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RE: Physical strength and D/s - 6/20/2009 5:39:56 PM   
HeavansKeeper


Posts: 1254
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DavanKael

quote:

ORIGINAL: HeavansKeeper
As a side note, I know many women desire a man who could physically defend them... I wonder what the incidence of spousal abuse is among men who "could easily defend her from other men"... Curious.


I made the assertion about wanting a man who can physically protect me, so I'll answer this, at least from my experience and prespective. 
Hopefully I'm not jinxing myself here but I've never, in my adult life, been struck against my will by a man with whom I've been in a relationship. 
Should someone decide to do that, he'd better make sure he ends me 'cause otherwise, he's gotta sleep sometime and I may be little but I can be mean as hell!  And, if he does end me, he'd better run far, far away 'cause I have family and friends who'd take up the cause if I were unable. 
  Davan


And I wish you never do... I brought it up more as a satirical view on how the world has changed. I've weaseled out of countless situations, legal, physical, romantic, abusive... by wagging the tongue whose romanced the Blarney Stone. I've only ever seen one real fight. The world has changed - seems like psychopathic abusive rabid men just shoot people these days.

_____________________________

The Loving Owner of HisHeavan

... You've waited your whole life for this moment...

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RE: Physical strength and D/s - 6/20/2009 6:29:35 PM   
greenearth21


Posts: 228
Joined: 7/9/2006
Status: offline 		thats why I advocate little dainty women (who like physically stronger men...who also could be abusive rabid men ) to start packing too
;-)

_____________________________

“Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.” Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900)

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RE: Physical strength and D/s - 6/20/2009 6:37:11 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		OMG that's hot!!!!

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Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

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