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RE: Transsexual = Female? - 7/4/2009 6:41:43 PM   
onlyfreelycaged


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quote:

ORIGINAL: rikigrl

people can be so intolerant, so hurtful, of those that don't meet their expectations, if you had to walk one day in my shoes your tune would change



was this aimed at me???

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RE: Transsexual = Female? - 7/4/2009 6:44:22 PM   
sweetsub1957


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_____________________________

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In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

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RE: Transsexual = Female? - 7/4/2009 6:47:15 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		This might sound a little weird, but think about it for a minute......what if we substituted the word "fat" in place of "transsexual" (or transgender) in this thread?  Playing devil's advocate here..... 

People come in here all the time saying they prefer to be with slender people and we all solemnly agree that yes, they have the right to their own preference, regardless of how many overweight people feel hurt or offended by hearing yet another declaration of  repulsion for excess weight. 

But yet, the OP is being crucified for stating his preference for "natural" (or whatever is a good way to say it) born females, and not TS's or TG's.  Granted, he may not have said it in an ideal, PC way, but I don't get the impression he's ready to go out and beat them up in an alley.  But he does have his preference for a relationship, which, based on what is usually the consensus in here, he's entitled to, and he's taking an awful lot of heat for it. 

Another similiarity...One of the biggest excuses given in here for the aversion to fat people, and that is widely accepted is that it's "unhealthy".  Well, there are a ton of health risks in undergoing gender reassignment, too. 

We support those who come in here angry because someone posted an old picture of themself skinny, but when they met them in real life, OMG, they were fat!  And how dare they mis-represent themself!  But I'm getting the impression that some feel that it's okay for a TS or TG to simply identify themselves as "female" and not tell a potential partner of such an important part of their personal life and medical history.... that, once again, in a site where honesty is one of the cornerstones of building healthy relationships.

If we're going to tell him that he should not let this type of gender issue influence his choice in who he has a relationship with, shouldn't we say the same thing to people who start the "fat threads"?  That if they won't be in a relationship with an overweight person, they're also narrow-minded, bigoted, immature, and nasty?

Now, this is in NO WAY meant in any negative way whatsoever towards TS's and/or TG's.  I am actually quite supportive of anyone who is willing to go to such extremes to better themselves and to be who they "are", and have no biased or bigoted feelings toward them at all.  Quite the opposite.  I just wanted to point out that I think the young OP's being treated just a little harshly in this instance.  And I just wanted to present another viewpoint.

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RE: Transsexual = Female? - 7/4/2009 6:49:40 PM   
LovingMistress45


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quote:

ORIGINAL: YoungMaster1988

I'm not saying "I dont find this attractive and so they should not list themselves as female" I'm saying "they are listed as female but in their profile they say they are post-op transexuals, should they list themselves as female?"


Yes, they should. They are legally female.  I really don't get your problem as you state in your opening post that it was stated in the profile that she was a post-op TS. You couldn't have wasted much time, just the time it took to read the profile and dismiss it. It took more time to send your email to her than just moving on to the next profile would have taken.

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RE: Transsexual = Female? - 7/4/2009 6:51:48 PM   
GreedyTop


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Status: offline 		Wynd.. he is not being crucified for his preference for genetic fems.   His  battering is coming from his POV that all TS folks should be  automatically required to IMMEDIATELY identify as TS.

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RE: Transsexual = Female? - 7/4/2009 6:56:14 PM   
blondagebabe


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Status: offline 		Great thread! I've really appreciated the posts from WarKirby and onlyfreelycaged.

But...is it too late to vote for the wanker option?

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RE: Transsexual = Female? - 7/4/2009 7:01:14 PM   
SavageFaerie


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quote:

ORIGINAL: WarKirby

I am getting too much applause today. Thank you greedy

quote:

ORIGINAL: Loki45

You forgot one though. The 18-20 girl who says "I want a Master to serve, but in my own age group." That always makes me go "Well darlin', it's not a Master you're lookin' for then. But good luck."


What are you saying here? Dominants can't be young?



Just based on your posts its isnt a question of being young but of being mature...I have met many young people who have more sense than those twice their age.

You reflect that while you are young you are also mature.

I love the younger generation, but I base them on maturity not actual age.  Some just have old souls...and those are the best.

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RE: Transsexual = Female? - 7/4/2009 7:02:20 PM   
Apocalypso


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quote:

ORIGINAL: YoungMaster1988
Its about what goes on in my head as well though, I'm not doubting that transsexuals are attractive and good at sex but for me, and I expect everyone, what is attractive isn't just what is pleasing to the eye, its also psychological and I'm afraid with a transsexual the fact that they used to be a man would always play on my mind.
Ok.  So, basically what we have is this.

1.  You see a profile of a woman.
2.  You find her attractive.
3.  You then realise she's a post-op transexual.
4.  You feel funny because you fancy a transexual.

I can't help feeling this one's your problem I'm afraid.


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RE: Transsexual = Female? - 7/4/2009 7:03:25 PM   
RedMagic1


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Status: offline 		Wyndchimes, I am not sexually attracted to women who weigh significantly more than I do.  However, I have never thought (1) they weren't real women, or (2) that they should be required to post their weight on their CollarMe profile.  For that matter, I only have sexual and romantic interest in people who were born female and look "feminine."  But I have never thought a woman should change her profile to make life more convenient for me.

My concern is about an attitude that looks a bit like, "She's not really a woman unless I'd like to do her."  We see this in fat threads too, with the use of words like "cow" to describe heavy women.  "She doesn't deserve to be called a woman unless she's got a body type that can make me hard, so I'll call her an animal instead."


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RE: Transsexual = Female? - 7/4/2009 7:07:30 PM   
WarKirby


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quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes

But yet, the OP is being crucified for stating his preference for "natural" (or whatever is a good way to say it) born females, and not TS's or TG's.  Granted, he may not have said it in an ideal, PC way, but I don't get the impression he's ready to go out and beat them up in an alley.  But he does have his preference for a relationship, which, based on what is usually the consensus in here, he's entitled to, and he's taking an awful lot of heat for it. 


I'm not sure this comparison is a very good one. The most logical way to view it in that light, would be that the OP likes fat people, but doesn't like people with pillows stuffed under their clothes.

Weight is, however, a very different matter. For one, it's something that can't be hidden. If you're fat, people can take one look at your pictures and see it. The key difference here, is that if someone is very convincingly female, there's no way to know otherwise unless they tell you, or you see their medical records.

Weight also has practical implications. Some types of D/s play can be made much harder if one partner is overweight. Like the sub can be harder to lift, and carry around. In more extreme cases, massive weight can make common gear not fit, like cuffs not fitting around fat wrists. Or excessive bodyweight causing damage to furniture. I have broken chairs by sitting on them when I was much heavier than I am now, speaking from personal experience here.


Weight is something that can be a turn off (or on) on many different levels. The issue here, is that only an (imo groundless) prejudice keeps the OP from liking post op trans people, and he has already admitted that if he were none the wiser, he couldn't possibly have a problem with it. It only affects things on one level, purely psychological

< Message edited by WarKirby -- 7/4/2009 7:18:27 PM >

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RE: Transsexual = Female? - 7/4/2009 7:07:51 PM   
sweetsub1957


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I just can't see what difference it could possibly make.  I say, people are whatever they are NOW based on the "parts" that they have NOW.  I'm peri-menopausal and take hormones to "stay feminine," does that mean I should specify that on my profile?  All this labeling is making my head hurt!  Where is DarkSteven?  We need a good joke right about now. 

_____________________________

Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

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RE: Transsexual = Female? - 7/4/2009 7:12:48 PM   
sweetsub1957


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Apocalypso

quote:

ORIGINAL: YoungMaster1988
Its about what goes on in my head as well though, I'm not doubting that transsexuals are attractive and good at sex but for me, and I expect everyone, what is attractive isn't just what is pleasing to the eye, its also psychological and I'm afraid with a transsexual the fact that they used to be a man would always play on my mind.
Ok.  So, basically what we have is this.

1.  You see a profile of a woman.
2.  You find her attractive.
3.  You then realise she's a post-op transexual.
4.  You feel funny because you fancy a transexual.

I can't help feeling this one's your problem I'm afraid.



OP, I can't help but say this is your personal problem.  You can't expect everyone else to support your personal bias in this regard.

_____________________________

Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

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Profile   Post #: 92
RE: Transsexual = Female? - 7/4/2009 7:15:30 PM   
rikigrl


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Joined: 5/14/2009
Status: offline 		Not at all onlyfreelycaged, it was directed at the OP and those who can't seem to cope with those who don't meet their expectations or definitions of "normal". We are a minority of a minority and the discrimination and derision we have to tolerate by a narrow minded society has lead many to self destruction. The internal torment is something no "normal" could ever understand....ever, and then to come across such a thread...my inclination is toward profanity, sometimes I curse my parents for instilling manners in my upbringing.

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RE: Transsexual = Female? - 7/4/2009 7:17:57 PM   
OsideGirl


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quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes


But yet, the OP is being crucified for stating his preference for "natural" (or whatever is a good way to say it) born females, and not TS's or TG's. 
No, he's not. He's being crucified for saying that someone who is post-op and legally female shouldn't call themselves female. He thinks it should be mandatory that anyone who has undergone gender reassignment should HAVE TO check themselves as TS.

All because he didn't read the profile and see that the person in question said that they were transexual.

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RE: Transsexual = Female? - 7/4/2009 7:18:29 PM   
Starbuck09


Posts: 724
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline 		 You are hoist by your own petard op ''if you consider yourself female'' who defines gender and where it's boundaries lie? I have had two transexual girlfriends and they have both considered themselves both transexual and female. If you have a difficulty dealing with that then that is ypur problem not theirs.

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RE: Transsexual = Female? - 7/4/2009 7:19:35 PM   
windchymes


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quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

Wynd.. he is not being crucified for his preference for genetic fems.   His  battering is coming from his POV that all TS folks should be  automatically required to IMMEDIATELY identify as TS.


I understand that part, GT.   But as I kept reading, I kept "hearing" more criticism for his preference from some for supposedly not liking TS's, not simply for how they id'd themselves (like the comment about the white hood) which wasn't the impression I got from him as I kept reading his responses. 

I just couldn't help comparing how sympathetic we are with those who object to the overweight but seem kinda harsh with someone who objects to TS's & TG's.

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RE: Transsexual = Female? - 7/4/2009 7:23:23 PM   
onlyfreelycaged


Posts: 254
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Status: offline 		o.. good..

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RE: Transsexual = Female? - 7/4/2009 7:30:09 PM   
windchymes


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quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

Wyndchimes, I am not sexually attracted to women who weigh significantly more than I do.  However, I have never thought (1) they weren't real women, or (2) that they should be required to post their weight on their CollarMe profile. No, but you'd be ticked if someone posted a pic of themself weighing 100 lbs less than they do then showed up wearing a tent.  I'm not talking about his preferences/your preferences.  I'm talking about misrepresentation and the right to like and dislike whatever it is you or he or anyone likes or dislikes. 

For that matter, I only have sexual and romantic interest in people who were born female and look "feminine."  But I have never thought a woman should change her profile to make life more convenient for me.  I agree about the profile.  But I do feel this is something that should be divulged pretty early in the relationship.  I would if it was me.  But....should the woman you hypothetically met take the skinny photo down and post a recent one?

My concern is about an attitude that looks a bit like, "She's not really a woman unless I'd like to do her."  I didn't get that impression from what I read, but I'll re-read the thread tomorrow.  It's late, and I have to be at work at 7 tomorrow :)We see this in fat threads too, with the use of words like "cow" to describe heavy women.  "She doesn't deserve to be called a woman unless she's got a body type that can make me hard, so I'll call her an animal instead."  I applaud you for that statement :) I especially liked the time someone said they reminded him of udders....



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You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

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RE: Transsexual = Female? - 7/4/2009 7:34:12 PM   
Arpig


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From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline 		You know I used to care, now I don't. It really just doesn't matter. I couldn't really care less what gender somebody wants to call themselves. Male, female, transexual, neuter, whatever. Its just a label.

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RE: Transsexual = Female? - 7/4/2009 7:34:55 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
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quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes


But yet, the OP is being crucified for stating his preference for "natural" (or whatever is a good way to say it) born females, and not TS's or TG's. 
No, he's not. He's being crucified for saying that someone who is post-op and legally female shouldn't call themselves female. He thinks it should be mandatory that anyone who has undergone gender reassignment should HAVE TO check themselves as TS.

All because he didn't read the profile and see that the person in question said that they were transexual.


Once again, I see another side to the coin......many here get awfully wrapped up in nit-pickally labelling everything and everyone....

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You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

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Profile   Post #: 100
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