RE: Boring bdsm

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LadyPact -> RE: Boring bdsm (7/6/2009 5:34:27 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Prinsexx Dear LadyPact Now this is where I am tempted to start on 'well you see it must be different from the submissive position'.... I KNOW i am repsonsible for my own experience but I swear to god I've been so bored by what has been being done to me that the only way I hid it was because i was bent over with my arse up in the air and he couldn't see my yawning... not to go into details but he was obviously really getting off on it and I was like ok derrrr and thinking about England. Hello Prinny, In this particular case, I think there might be a difference. I haven't had such things told to Me by bottoms that I've played with. Of course, that could be a touchy subject, couldn't it? I do have a story from a sub friend of Mine who could absolutely reflect your comments. She was being used as a demo bottom for a rope class. The type where folks are invited to bring rope along with them so they could practice along with the instructor. As the story goes, there was one male top in the class who just could not get a particular knot down. The instructor had to show the same knot over and over and over. It was getting boring and frustrating for My friend and she couldn't help thinking of how boring the whole thing had become. Ever have those moments where you are thinking out loud? That was hers, in front of the entire class.

CatdeMedici -> RE: Boring bdsm (7/6/2009 5:47:47 AM)
I've read these responses as the thread has progressed and I have to agree with Dark, to Me it isn't "play" or "scenes" it is what I am, it is what My life is, needs to be and I hope will end up being, so if its boring, I have relationship issues, not BDSM issues---its that other life that I find so du and boring--but Prin raises an interesting thought---do submissives, slaves, bottoms get more bored than we the Dominants do?

SlyStone -> RE: Boring bdsm (7/6/2009 6:53:29 AM)
quote: quote: ORIGINAL: LadyDarkWolf yes but some don't, if you played out a scene the same way every time would it not get boring for you?? I've never wanted the same scene more than once. When it happened and kept happening and became a nightly ritual I just thought 'stupid wanker' and the spell was broken. It was down hill all the way. I wouldn't repeat the same scene over and over but with the right person it would not get boring, because it never really is the same, because we bring different emotions, different thought processes, make different sounds etc each time. The revelation appears to be that boring people can do kinky things, but we already knew that to be true. I think that at some point in even a strictly sexual relationship it becomes less about the act and more about the human exchange, which is why sex addicts move from partner to partner, to avoid what they perceive to be the "boredom" of familiarity.

Prinsexx -> RE: Boring bdsm (7/6/2009 9:12:33 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici I've read these responses as the thread has progressed and I have to agree with Dark, to Me it isn't "play" or "scenes" it is what I am, it is what My life is, needs to be and I hope will end up being, so if its boring, I have relationship issues, not BDSM issues---its that other life that I find so du and boring--but Prin raises an interesting thought---do submissives, slaves, bottoms get more bored than we the Dominants do? i mean where is the opportunity to confess and say omg that was so boring...without breaking the mindset or the dynamic? If it's sensation then I don't get bored...ice, wax, pain, it's an extension to attention at the end of the day and absolutely brilliant as it's focused on me and I think omg how did he get off on that when he was so responsible and giving it to me...fab... I also like a d type to be completely selfish because I just feel they are getting off on me.. that's a turn on also... but (and again I know I am responsible for my own experience) I do get bored by well can't quite define it it's like the lights are on but no-one's home... a kind of mechanical this is how i do it do it..i dislike the feeling of being bored it's like oh please let's get this over and done with... more like vanilla sex on a Saturday night really. How do you give feedback on stuff like that?

oceanwinds -> RE: Boring bdsm (7/6/2009 9:58:38 AM)
I dont really get bored with bdsm. I suppose people could get bored with me, since alot of bdsm i do not live for. Life is too precious to me to get bored. Though I participate on the forums, and with my friend, Sir, most of my life is lived in submitting to my spiritual beliefs and all that it entails. My relationships be it with Sir or late hubby, or any one for that matter, will have times when excitement isnt being felt, yet those are the times when serving and being are also appreciated. I enjoy the low times, boring as some refer, as well as the others. It's the whole of a relationship that makes me content. I never cared for those first 6 months of intense color glassess affect; it always brought delusions of reality for me.

CallaFirestormBW -> RE: Boring bdsm (7/6/2009 11:04:51 AM)
There are things that are boring to -watch- (like a long temp piercing scene) only because there isn't really much going on that can be enjoyed from a distance. I find that some folks who are on the receiving end get kinda restless with these, too, if we're using the very small 28 gauge needles (which really aren't that painful going in, so there isn't a lot of endorphin release and 'subspace' distraction). I never get bored with it, even when my poor body starts aching from holding the tension needed for careful placement of the needles. OTOH, there isn't really anything that I take the time to do in terms of BDSM scening that bores me, no matter how many times I do it. Every time is an adventure of people, flesh, blood-tang, warmth, color... if it ever did get boring, I think I'd just stop. Why ruin happy memories with boredom just to say I'm still doing it? On the other hand, watching the bazillionth lame, poorly planned flogging of the night (especially when the bottom is just kinda sitting there and not really responding at all) is pretty dull to me. Nothing about authority-transfer is boring to me -- every day is a new possibility for growing, shaping, becoming... so it's all pretty exciting. Again, if it ever -did- become boring or annoying, I just wouldn't invest any more time there. Really, life is short. If something is boring, and I don't want to do it any more, I don't put myself in situations where I have to do that. If people don't draw my interest, I don't spend any more time with them than I absolutely have to. Intensity is one of my pet fetishes, so if someone is boring, well, xhe isn't going to have a long history of consideration with me unless xhe is a -damned- spectacular servant (which, frankly, it would be hard to do if xhe was dull and really didn't have a style and flair to hir service!) As far as feedback -- just tell me. "Geeze, Dame Calla, that was DULL! I really didn't enjoy sitting there for two hours and a hundred needles". I'll probably respond with a chuckle and "Well, next time I'll just have to use bigger needles, huh?" and show you the amazing artwork covering your back and ass. That vision of the results usually alleviates that sense of worthless boredom (which I've found to be the case with things like artistic whippings and scarification, too -- if they can see the art we've created together... my hand and their fleshy canvas... suddenly the time and tedium are worth it.) Dame Calla

Prinsexx -> RE: Boring bdsm (7/6/2009 11:14:46 AM)
Yes bigger needles will put an end to boredom any day of the week...

CelticPrince -> RE: Boring bdsm (7/6/2009 12:15:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: IrishMist quote: ORIGINAL: Prinsexx What bores you about bdsm? The people [:D] quote: The people Mist, Pray tell me why you are here! CP

CelticPrince -> RE: Boring bdsm (7/6/2009 12:26:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Prinsexx What bores you about bdsm? quote: What bores you about bdsm? Prin, Nothing bores me simply because I will not allow humdrum to enter into the relationship. B/D & S/M as adjuncts to D/s is exactly what we make it to be and that goes for both sides of the slash. CP

Prinsexx -> RE: Boring bdsm (7/6/2009 1:42:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CelticPrince quote: ORIGINAL: Prinsexx What bores you about bdsm? quote: What bores you about bdsm? Prin, Nothing bores me simply because I will not allow humdrum to enter into the relationship. B/D & S/M as adjuncts to D/s is exactly what we make it to be and that goes for both sides of the slash. CP Then i beg to differ and I have thought this through. I'm not one to filter out my experiences, nor am I one to rationalise them.. if I'm engaged I'm engaged, if I am not I'm not. If i am not fully engaged in an exeproence I tend to reflect upon it, I'm out of the directs experience and doing something else.. like writing in my head and trying to rememner the words for later. The worse possible experiences of this have been during fear when I have had to think hard to rationalise the experience and do a mantra or plan or 'go-shopping' to remove myself from the experience. I have done this during moments of abuse for example as a child.. it's detachment in the worse sitiations. I know I am in difficulties when I am 'out of' the experience of sex whilst having sex for example.. but furing vanilla days I've stayed way past the point of no return to try to save the relationship. Ok so lets take it out of the experience of bdsm and let's say I'm at a lecture. Double Sociology on a Friday afternoon at University was a case in point. My head used to roll off my shoulders and I would wake myself up from boredom only by waking up so to speak. However it was not my position to get up and walk oit, or to tell my lecturer I was bored. It was a defferential position being a student. Same for being a submissive. Not my position. But I cannot say i haven't detached from the situation, reflected on it, 'gone shopping', been out to lunch, and also been bored out of my brains. I've also been spaced and in a delirium of pleasure so it's si and two threes I guess. But still not my position to complain... not having accepted no limits. Boredom comes nowhere near my deal breaker limits.

Prinsexx -> RE: Boring bdsm (7/6/2009 1:43:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CelticPrince quote: ORIGINAL: IrishMist quote: ORIGINAL: Prinsexx What bores you about bdsm? The people [:D] quote: The people Mist, Pray tell me why you are here! CP Pure masochism????

shimada -> RE: Boring bdsm (7/6/2009 3:27:46 PM)
If you comes out from where I comes than only the gamers can boring. If you dont knows whats happen with you, than it this a different. Also a word from my familie it is better to make 1000 different things with the same person than one same thing with 1000 different persons. You dont want things repeate? Some rituales help to give point in the life. It demands alltimes only what are the reason behind. If someone search only a kick than he needs more and more. But for this is also the need to let yourselfe fall, give up all resistements and be helpless until deep in your soule. So long you was not ready to comes to this point alltimes it will be happen that technics will be boring you. SM as lifestyle is muche more than technics.

jeninvegas -> RE: Boring bdsm (7/6/2009 8:22:32 PM)
The lack of finding like minded kinksters bores me... Not playing/scening for a loooong period of time bores me... Meeting Doms/Masters who think I should kiss their feet because I am a 'sub' bores (and annoy) me... Meeting catty/idiotic/don't take no for an answer kind of people bores me... The list sort of goes on and on. [:D]

Ambyant -> RE: Boring bdsm (7/6/2009 11:21:38 PM)
I had to think, " but if it's boring, what's wrong?" I don't get bored, there is always someone/thing else to do. ~Zya

Prinsexx -> RE: Boring bdsm (7/7/2009 12:45:40 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: shimada If you comes out from where I comes than only the gamers can boring. If you dont knows whats happen with you, than it this a different. Also a word from my familie it is better to make 1000 different things with the same person than one same thing with 1000 different persons. You dont want things repeate? Some rituales help to give point in the life. It demands alltimes only what are the reason behind. If someone search only a kick than he needs more and more. But for this is also the need to let yourselfe fall, give up all resistements and be helpless until deep in your soule. So long you was not ready to comes to this point alltimes it will be happen that technics will be boring you. SM as lifestyle is muche more than technics. I've been out where you comes from... I loved the light and the green and the sudden changes from sunlight to rain... absolutely breath=taking;ly beautiful. But I come from post-war, inner city poverty and a closed mindedness and class structure that was stifling. I come from staunch closed-minded and closed-door family values which swept incest and abuse under the carpet like bed bugs. Nope... can't go backwards. And so it has been aspiration, struggle, meritocracy and growth which have always been my motivators. Forever onward. I'm a traveller at heart also and staying in one place bores me. If it were not for raising a family single handedly the way I have I would have moved on and on and on... restless... thank you for replying.

DehumanizedPooch -> RE: Boring bdsm (7/7/2009 6:43:22 AM)
It bores me if the dom can't lead me into subspace or if it seems like he is being lazy and repeatedly tries to do the same aspects over and over again, love creativity:) The repeatition can get boring, being although I may try to please the dom that doesnt mean I want to know everything that will happen before it does

CelticPrince -> RE: Boring bdsm (7/8/2009 5:32:25 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Prinsexx quote: ORIGINAL: CelticPrince quote: ORIGINAL: Prinsexx What bores you about bdsm? quote: What bores you about bdsm? Prin, Nothing bores me simply because I will not allow humdrum to enter into the relationship. B/D & S/M as adjuncts to D/s is exactly what we make it to be and that goes for both sides of the slash. CP Then i beg to differ and I have thought this through. I'm not one to filter out my experiences, nor am I one to rationalise them.. if I'm engaged I'm engaged, if I am not I'm not. If i am not fully engaged in an exeproence I tend to reflect upon it, I'm out of the directs experience and doing something else.. like writing in my head and trying to rememner the words for later. The worse possible experiences of this have been during fear when I have had to think hard to rationalise the experience and do a mantra or plan or 'go-shopping' to remove myself from the experience. I have done this during moments of abuse for example as a child.. it's detachment in the worse sitiations. I know I am in difficulties when I am 'out of' the experience of sex whilst having sex for example.. but furing vanilla days I've stayed way past the point of no return to try to save the relationship. Ok so lets take it out of the experience of bdsm and let's say I'm at a lecture. Double Sociology on a Friday afternoon at University was a case in point. My head used to roll off my shoulders and I would wake myself up from boredom only by waking up so to speak. However it was not my position to get up and walk oit, or to tell my lecturer I was bored. It was a defferential position being a student. Same for being a submissive. Not my position. But I cannot say i haven't detached from the situation, reflected on it, 'gone shopping', been out to lunch, and also been bored out of my brains. I've also been spaced and in a delirium of pleasure so it's si and two threes I guess. But still not my position to complain... not having accepted no limits. Boredom comes nowhere near my deal breaker limits. quote: quote: ORIGINAL: CelticPrince quote: ORIGINAL: Prinsexx What bores you about bdsm? quote: What bores you about bdsm? Prin, Nothing bores me simply because I will not allow humdrum to enter into the relationship. B/D & S/M as adjuncts to D/s is exactly what we make it to be and that goes for both sides of the slash. CP Then i beg to differ and I have thought this through. I'm not one to filter out my experiences, nor am I one to rationalise them.. if I'm engaged I'm engaged, if I am not I'm not. If i am not fully engaged in an exeproence I tend to reflect upon it, I'm out of the directs experience and doing something else.. like writing in my head and trying to rememner the words for later. The worse possible experiences of this have been during fear when I have had to think hard to rationalise the experience and do a mantra or plan or 'go-shopping' to remove myself from the experience. I have done this during moments of abuse for example as a child.. it's detachment in the worse sitiations. I know I am in difficulties when I am 'out of' the experience of sex whilst having sex for example.. but furing vanilla days I've stayed way past the point of no return to try to save the relationship. Ok so lets take it out of the experience of bdsm and let's say I'm at a lecture. Double Sociology on a Friday afternoon at University was a case in point. My head used to roll off my shoulders and I would wake myself up from boredom only by waking up so to speak. However it was not my position to get up and walk oit, or to tell my lecturer I was bored. It was a defferential position being a student. Same for being a submissive. Not my position. But I cannot say i haven't detached from the situation, reflected on it, 'gone shopping', been out to lunch, and also been bored out of my brains. I've also been spaced and in a delirium of pleasure so it's si and two threes I guess. But still not my position to complain... not having accepted no limits. Boredom comes nowhere near my deal breaker limits. Prin, I am not certain that I get what you have put down but if it is as I think it is, then I suggest that you put more care into choosing a partner. When one is very experienced and has been exposed to an activity already; there is a an inclination to think "been there/done that" and that can be a killer if your really not into your partner. CP

SimplyMichael -> RE: Boring bdsm (7/8/2009 8:21:22 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Prinsexx However it was not my position to get up and walk oit, or to tell my lecturer I was bored. It was a defferential position being a student. Same for being a submissive. Not my position. But I cannot say i haven't detached from the situation, reflected on it, 'gone shopping', been out to lunch, and also been bored out of my brains. I've also been spaced and in a delirium of pleasure so it's si and two threes I guess. But still not my position to complain... not having accepted no limits. Boredom comes nowhere near my deal breaker limits. I was going to post something snarky to this thread but this caught my eye. I am going to try one last time. Imagine if you had spoken up, had said something to this dominant to help him/guide him and that had allowed him to put you back on the path of delirium? You are waiting for your partners to fail for some deep seated reason and that is one fucked up pattern.

Prinsexx -> RE: Boring bdsm (7/8/2009 9:29:46 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael quote: ORIGINAL: Prinsexx However it was not my position to get up and walk oit, or to tell my lecturer I was bored. It was a defferential position being a student. Same for being a submissive. Not my position. But I cannot say i haven't detached from the situation, reflected on it, 'gone shopping', been out to lunch, and also been bored out of my brains. I've also been spaced and in a delirium of pleasure so it's si and two threes I guess. But still not my position to complain... not having accepted no limits. Boredom comes nowhere near my deal breaker limits. I was going to post something snarky to this thread but this caught my eye. I am going to try one last time. Imagine if you had spoken up, had said something to this dominant to help him/guide him and that had allowed him to put you back on the path of delirium? You are waiting for your partners to fail for some deep seated reason and that is one fucked up pattern. No Michael: I don't wait around for one second once they do. If this keeps repeating itself so be it. You seem fixated on my patterns.

RCdc -> RE: Boring bdsm (7/8/2009 9:38:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael quote: ORIGINAL: Prinsexx However it was not my position to get up and walk oit, or to tell my lecturer I was bored. It was a defferential position being a student. Same for being a submissive. Not my position. But I cannot say i haven't detached from the situation, reflected on it, 'gone shopping', been out to lunch, and also been bored out of my brains. I've also been spaced and in a delirium of pleasure so it's si and two threes I guess. But still not my position to complain... not having accepted no limits. Boredom comes nowhere near my deal breaker limits. I was going to post something snarky to this thread but this caught my eye. I am going to try one last time. Imagine if you had spoken up, had said something to this dominant to help him/guide him and that had allowed him to put you back on the path of delirium? You are waiting for your partners to fail for some deep seated reason and that is one fucked up pattern. Prinnie. I love ya, I do. And Michaels right. Lets take it from slaves postion. If you are lying to your partner. What is the point? If you don't communicate - then your partner fails you? No. You fail you. And you fail the relationship. As slave, what exactly is the position? You are stating that you can't speak? Did your partner(s) tell you that? Or are you not only setting them up to fail, but yourself as well? the.dark.

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