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Too poor to see a Pro-Domme? - 7/7/2009 4:13:29 AM   
funnyegg


Posts: 8
Joined: 4/14/2009
Status: offline 		I read on some boards the moanings of some subs who complain that Pro-Dommes charge too much per hour and that they cannot afford to session with one. They're being greedy and all that mush.

Given sufficient cost-cutting and saving up, sooner or later the money for a single session can be found.

This got me wondering, is it a lack of ready cash or a lack of nerve the real reason that some first time subbies won't session with a Pro-Domme?

Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Too poor to see a Pro-Domme? - 7/7/2009 4:22:55 AM   
LadySweetOrSour


Posts: 1415
Joined: 3/21/2009
Status: offline 		I think it's more the fact that they want a session for free, rather than pay to get their kinks met. Hence the thousands of "do me" subs who flood the inboxes of thousands of dominants, raving on about what they want, rather than what they offer.

(in reply to funnyegg)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Too poor to see a Pro-Domme? - 7/7/2009 4:29:45 AM   
CatdeMedici


Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline 		Its believing if they whine long enough one of Us will acquiesce for free.

_____________________________

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"Let's see-whips, dips, chains, chips, yep sounds like a party to Me!"

(in reply to funnyegg)
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RE: Too poor to see a Pro-Domme? - 7/7/2009 5:46:46 AM   
MsFlutter


Posts: 1305
Joined: 11/12/2008
From: East Coast
Status: offline 		 
LadyS speaks truth. Its been (accurately) stated that  Dommes are perceived by do-me subs as fetish delivery services, instead of HUMANS with an interest in what it is that we do.
 
Dommes find themselves awash in male submissives who can talk the talk but fail to walk the walk. Those same submissives, as a rule, end up in one of two primary groups:
 
1) they either don't show (nerves? never sincere in the first place?) OR
2) they show up, play once and - because they got what they wanted - disappear, never to be heard from again.
 
The outcome: cynical Dommes and 'future generations' of frustrated subs
 
A ProDomme's fees are a business decision like any other. It's expensive to acquire and maintain toys, a wardrobe, a dungeon that has to be heated, cooled, illuminated, cleaned,  etc. Paired with that is knowledge, experience and confidentiality. 
 
Just replacing my toys and wardrobe would cost me thousands. A Pro has a much larger investment AND the responsibility of safeguarding clients and their privacy to cultivate repeat business. Placing a price on something creates a perception of value. The serious ones will show up because they've made an investment. Many others sit and grumble because they can't get what they want without some effort on their part.




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(in reply to LadySweetOrSour)
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RE: Too poor to see a Pro-Domme? - 7/7/2009 5:54:46 AM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

Its believing if they whine long enough one of Us will acquiesce for free.


I have found becoming friends with someone works much better than whining.

_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert


This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi


(in reply to CatdeMedici)
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RE: Too poor to see a Pro-Domme? - 7/7/2009 7:55:43 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: thishereboi

quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

Its believing if they whine long enough one of Us will acquiesce for free.


I have found becoming friends with someone works much better than whining.


You are so funny!  Why would one of those wanker types work THAT hard??   If they could make friends, they wouldn't need to check out the professionals.

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RE: Too poor to see a Pro-Domme? - 7/7/2009 10:03:21 AM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline 		Good point

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RE: Too poor to see a Pro-Domme? - 7/7/2009 12:58:47 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Maybe they don't want just one session to hold them for years. Maybe they want to experience all they can. And seeing a professional is expensive, week after week. Especially in today's economy.

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Cynical and proud of it!


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RE: Too poor to see a Pro-Domme? - 7/7/2009 2:33:44 PM   
mummyman321


Posts: 2102
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Dusseldorf
Status: offline 		Well, lets do a little math to see how feasible it is for an average person to afford a Pro Domme

Lets take an average person, oh making $12/hour. For a 40 hour work week they gross $480. Okay lets take out taxes, insurance etc. $480 x 0.68 = $326

Okay...now what does a Pro Domme charge. Browsing the various ads it varies from $150/hour to $1500/hour. But on average I see a lot of ads in the $250 to $300 for a session which will go 1.5 to 2 hours.

Now for the average person if they own a house and have a house payment, car payment, utilities and groceries, there is little money left over. I could go into a detail analysis of average house and utilites but I think its pretty clear Pro Dommes are very unaffordable for a lot of people.

I am niether for or against Pro Dommes. But the reality is that they are very unaffordable for a lot of people.

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Life - Its not about where you are but about the journey to get there - I prefer to choose the road less traveled

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RE: Too poor to see a Pro-Domme? - 7/7/2009 2:47:45 PM   
Toppingfrmbottom


Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline 		I know it's different for every one, but Daddy makes close to 600 dollars a pay check, and at his other job location* same job just new location* he was making almost 700 to 800 *and even with the percentage the 401k takes how he's still bringing home about 556 dollars a pay check. And yes he works about 40 hours a week. And I think his minimum wage is like 9.50 an hour, but I can't be sure.


quote:

ORIGINAL: mummyman321

Well, lets do a little math to see how feasible it is for an average person to afford a Pro Domme

Lets take an average person, oh making $12/hour. For a 40 hour work week they gross $480. Okay lets take out taxes, insurance etc. $480 x 0.68 = $326


(in reply to mummyman321)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Too poor to see a Pro-Domme? - 7/7/2009 2:55:29 PM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		They can always find a hooker instead of a pro.  Those ladies have been asked to do a lot more and for a lower rate I am sure.  OR.. they can just recognise that a woman is not going to just cater to their little fantasies without some sort of return.  Pay for service, or learn to be a little less "me me me, do me now", and actually find a woman that can relate to his needs and given enough reason, cater to them now and again.  We are not fast food joints.
Kyst
quote:

ORIGINAL: mummyman321

Well, lets do a little math to see how feasible it is for an average person to afford a Pro Domme

Lets take an average person, oh making $12/hour. For a 40 hour work week they gross $480. Okay lets take out taxes, insurance etc. $480 x 0.68 = $326

Okay...now what does a Pro Domme charge. Browsing the various ads it varies from $150/hour to $1500/hour. But on average I see a lot of ads in the $250 to $300 for a session which will go 1.5 to 2 hours.

Now for the average person if they own a house and have a house payment, car payment, utilities and groceries, there is little money left over. I could go into a detail analysis of average house and utilites but I think its pretty clear Pro Dommes are very unaffordable for a lot of people.

I am niether for or against Pro Dommes. But the reality is that they are very unaffordable for a lot of people.

(in reply to mummyman321)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Too poor to see a Pro-Domme? - 7/7/2009 4:01:10 PM   
allthatjaz


Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
Status: offline 		Many clients that see a pro Mistress are not what people call 'just do me subs'. When I did this for a living I met some very genuine sub guys.
The majority of clients that see a pro Domme are either married or in a committed relationship. Most don't see it as a betrayal but just scratching an itch. Its these sort of submissives that don't want a relationship or something that could interfere with their other life.
If they can't afford a pro Mistress then they don't see a pro Mistress. If they can't afford the latest gadget then they won't buy the latest gadget but neither the pro Mistress or the retailer selling the latest gadget is going to give it to them out of pity...... business is business.

< Message edited by allthatjaz -- 7/7/2009 4:03:12 PM >

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(in reply to Missokyst)
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RE: Too poor to see a Pro-Domme? - 7/7/2009 4:03:03 PM   
Andalusite


Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline 		Pro-Dommes are a luxury item.

Seriously, if someone wants to do BDSM, and they're serious about it, I'd expect them to pursue a non-pro, or a pro-Domme for personal involvement rather than as a paid client. If he just wants to use someone to fulfill his fantasies without any emotional involvement, courtship, or even friendship, he doesn't deserve to get free sessions. If someone wants to learn to cook, he can ask someone who he knows to help him for free. If he can't find anyone who's willing to do that, and needs to pay to go to cooking school, he shouldn't sit around bitching about the cost. If someone doesn't know how to repair cars, and can't find anyone who's willing to help him or teach him how to do it for free, out of friendship or some other connection, he has to pay for it. Again, complaining about the cost isn't going to get him free mechanic services. I get paid to be a computer geek. I'll help out friends and relatives for free, if it's something fairly easy, and even teach them how to do it, but if some random stranger were going to bitch about my not fixing his computer for nothing, then I'll just write him off as a jerk, not give in and do it for him.

< Message edited by Andalusite -- 7/7/2009 4:04:59 PM >

(in reply to Missokyst)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Too poor to see a Pro-Domme? - 7/7/2009 4:10:19 PM   
subtlebutterfly


Posts: 2230
Joined: 6/15/2008
From: Not your hood
Status: offline 		aight..I might be going out on a limb here, but I don't know how pro dominants work.
I think..if a person showed a real genuine interest in going to see a specific pro dominant yet couldn't pay, then they could negotiate different payment methods or heck even just cleaning their dungeon or helping them out over a period as a return, but sure it'd probably take a lot of persuasion and work to prove a real interest but I'm sure it'd be doable..

< Message edited by subtlebutterfly -- 7/7/2009 4:11:13 PM >

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RE: Too poor to see a Pro-Domme? - 7/7/2009 4:13:06 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		SB, when I was a pro, I was ALWAYS getting guys wanting to "bargain".  A session with me was $250.  How much cleaning would a person have to do to pay that off?  Especially when I had someone to do it for free?  It was just a way around paying cash, and minimizing the value of my time.   Would you go to your hairdresser and say, "hey, how about a basket of peaches for a haircut?"  You would not. 



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[page 23 girl]



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Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Too poor to see a Pro-Domme? - 7/7/2009 4:14:28 PM   
Andalusite


Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline 		Pro-Dommes are a business, not a charity!

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Too poor to see a Pro-Domme? - 7/7/2009 4:54:48 PM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		I am still thinking about the pro subbie thing could be a cool market for it lol

(in reply to Andalusite)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Too poor to see a Pro-Domme? - 7/7/2009 5:28:25 PM   
Andalusite


Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline 		The primary market for male pro-submissives is other men, specifically ones who are gay or bisexual. It's already fairly common in some areas. I've heard of a few women engaging male pro-submissives. I believe more men than women patronise female pro-submissives as well, but the ratio isn't quite as skewed.

< Message edited by Andalusite -- 7/7/2009 5:29:48 PM >

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Too poor to see a Pro-Domme? - 7/7/2009 8:16:07 PM   
Gage46Bstn


Posts: 34
Joined: 11/8/2008
From: Master Greg
Status: offline 		I have enjoyed several very fulfilling and intense sessions with heterosexual men who have (had) been paying for femal dommes. I do not of course charge anything. I enjoy giving the disciple and control that he so craves and enjoys receiving. What is in his head is his own business.
Sometimes a sub/domme DVD playing  helps sets the right mood for our time together.  There is something distinctly erotic about whipping and dominating a man where there is mutually agreed upon - absolutely no overt sexuality.
If money is an issue and you are open minded, why pay an actress- even a very good one ? See a Pro-Dom free who loves what he does.
Sir Greg
Boston

(in reply to Andalusite)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Too poor to see a Pro-Domme? - 7/7/2009 8:23:47 PM   
slavekal


Posts: 1486
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline 		They could be telling the truth about money.  But it could also be that they find trading money for sexual adventures too much like prostitution.  There is no real intimacy, and experiences like that can make some folks feel sleazy.

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"The Courage to Submit: the submissive male's guide to finding a dominant woman"
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