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RE: Rudeness - 3/3/2006 12:34:32 PM

Level

Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
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I would like to add a couple of things to all this........

I happen to live in the same neck of the woods as ItsTimeBendOver.......we belong to the same local BDSM group....though I do not know him in depth, I do believe he's a good man, and I have never seen him be anything other than helpful to those in the group. He brings alot of humor and thought to whatever subject he's taken up.

This does not mean I disagree nor agree in total with everything he posted here. He has the right to his views, as do all of you.

Backing up to what seemed an original subject on this thread......if you do not like someone's profile, then go to the next one. Don't be a dick and send them hate mail. And for god's sake don't send negative mail then block the other person.

As for one of the secondary subjects (gift vs not-a-gift).....I'll cut and paste a response on that which I wrote on another venue:

"as for the gift/non-gift question, perhaps it all depends on the attitude involved....let me be cheesy for a moment lol....ya'll know the song "The Little Drummer Boy"?.......a section of it always touched my heart, where the boy talks about being poor and having nothing befitting a king to give, so he gives of himself, with utter genuiness and love....thus giving the greatest of the gifts involved.......well, if one gives their submission in such a way, I can indeed see it as a gift, and a tremendous one.................but I guess you also have some (can we call them "smugmissives"??) that see themselves more along the lines as god's gift to domkind, and if you DON'T, then you're not "real" or not "dominant enough" to handle them.....*grins*.........."

And, finally, can we agree that the degree of who has what power and how much is very much affected by if one is a submissive or a slave??? I think it is indeed. Of course, as some stated, at the beginning it's a two-way street until one hands the reins over......

(in reply to Level)

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RE: Rudeness - 3/3/2006 2:50:07 PM

artglfr

Posts: 235
Joined: 4/8/2005
Status: offline

I am sorry you are getting rude mail. I read some profiles that are almost begging for cruel replies because of the hostile way they are written. I do NOT reply to these because it is not My job to try to change how they wish to be percieved.

there has been some excellent advice given and I imagine if you soften your profile you will be happier with your responses.

It will be interesting to hear from you if you do change your profile will you start getting better responses?

Good luck.
Art

(in reply to thetammyjo)

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Post #: 82

RE: Rudeness - 3/3/2006 5:00:54 PM

Aimtoplease101

Posts: 319
Joined: 2/8/2006
From: San Diego, California
Status: offline

It's a occupational hazard, so to speak, on boards like this. I think you have to consider the fact that a component of the cyber set these days simply lacks social grace. That may be compounded by the large amount of rejections that many men may have experienced here (and elsewhere), and their over-reaction those experiences. There also seems to be a need for people to say something even when they really have nothing to say (I fear my post is beginning to stray into that territory, so I will now depart).

Don't let the turkes get you down!
ATP

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RE: Rudeness - 3/3/2006 5:48:31 PM

angelic

Posts: 1807
Joined: 1/24/2005
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my favorites are the ones that send hate e-mail, then block (i think Ssomeone called this a 'driveby')... LOL i just call them CHICKEN SHITS!! then laugh my rear off at how truly stupid they appear. (These are also the ones that sit on their thumbs and wonder why the f*** they are alone).

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RE: Rudeness - 3/3/2006 5:59:54 PM

LATEXBABY64

Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
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i think its sometimes a form of venting. you could have had a bad day or something. other times i think its a power trip gone amuk.. then sometimes i think its more off hate email from people who feel voilated because of things that have happen to them from our lifestyle i see a lot of that lately
from poor choices. non commited people backstabbing lieing sobs who only thing they care about is their own sexual gratification. shrugs or it could be just simplly kink bashing buy heres what i say who cares my worlds not going to end here and there is a off button life goes on unless your in my face then i would have to hurt you : ) lol anyhow such is life smile more be more and life will be kind to you even with ass holes

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RE: Rudeness - 3/3/2006 7:49:07 PM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
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Excelent... Couldn't have said it better.

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Post #: 86

RE: Rudeness - 3/3/2006 7:53:37 PM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

And, finally, can we agree that the degree of who has what power and how much is very much affected by if one is a submissive or a slave??? I think it is indeed.

Sorry, can't agree with that one. I know submissive men and women who have a TPE relationship with less say so than many slaves over daily life and life long decision making. The degree and amount of power is determined only by the individuals in a particular group dynamic ::including groups of two:: and not by any label they may or may not accept. I will, however, agree to disagree with you. ;)

Welcome to the boards, Level.. I'm enjoying your posts.

Celeste

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Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

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RE: Rudeness - 3/4/2006 6:19:30 AM

Level

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Joined: 3/3/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

quote:

And, finally, can we agree that the degree of who has what power and how much is very much affected by if one is a submissive or a slave??? I think it is indeed.

Sorry, can't agree with that one. I know submissive men and women who have a TPE relationship with less say so than many slaves over daily life and life long decision making. The degree and amount of power is determined only by the individuals in a particular group dynamic ::including groups of two:: and not by any label they may or may not accept. I will, however, agree to disagree with you. ;)

Welcome to the boards, Level.. I'm enjoying your posts.

Celeste

*grins*.......okay okaaaaaay......it does depend on the individuals......but *lightbulb goes off over my head, flickers, but stays lit, if dimly*........would you all agree that in the grand scheme of things, if people followed the definitions of BDSM closely, you would have, at least in general, deeper submission by slaves? A slave, by definition, is another's property.........and one can be deeply submissive, of course, without being a slave.....but being anothers property denotes to me pretty much the be all end all of being owned....now, if a couple calls themselves Master and slave, and the Owner allows the owned to do pretty much what she wants, that's fine, but if that Owner decides to tighten the reigns over the owned, and the owned says "hardy har har, I don't think so", then just how "owned" was she?......sure, they can call themself anything they want, doesn't make them bad people, doesn't mean I don't like them or respect them.....but don't expect me to consider nor call you "slave" if you quack like something else *laughs*.........some don't consider me a dominant because I have on occasion enjoyed bottoming *smiles and shrugs*.....so I do understand how some feel, when they're told they're "not real".......and, as many have said before, what matters most is how the parties involved feel towards one another, 'cause life is awful short, and if you and yours are happy, then by god you have something special.

And Celeste, thank you very much for the kind welcome *smiles*.......I genuinely appreciate it, and I want to say that I not only enjoyed your posts, but your profile as well.......extremely well done. Be well and hope to hear more from you and others here.

Level
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
"We must learn our limits. We are all something, but none of us are everything."

Blaise Pascal

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RE: Rudeness - 3/4/2006 6:31:30 AM

orfunboi

Posts: 1223
Joined: 10/22/2005
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Yea those are good, i also like the ones who state in their profile things like " Men will be blocked if they E-mail me. E-mails from women only. I have put things in this profile so I know if you have read it or not. "

and then send you an email proving that if they did bother to read your profile, they didn't comprehend what it said. i guess the rules they make don't apply to themselves.

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RE: Rudeness - 3/6/2006 4:42:31 PM

MarinaBlack

Posts: 121
Joined: 8/6/2005
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Hon, that totally sucks and is not about you, but about these people with soooooo much time on their hands that they feel the need to insult a total stranger that has no impact on their lives.

The internet is an awesome communication tool that has bridged geographical gaps. We can easily seek and exchange information in a matter of moments. The downside to this is that anyone can come off as an "expert" by self-publishing misinformation and when you expose yourself in your profile on a site like this one you can be open game.

The people who send out nasty messages to profiles that are clearly not a match for them are either jealous or frustrated and angry that your profile makes it obvious they would be rejcted by you in real life.
Rather than moving on to the next profile, they chose to email you insults.
I know it feels shitty, but try to ignore tham and just hit the "delete" button - such a wonderful invention.
No pojnt in you wasting your time just because they did. It's not like you'll teach them anything and why even bother? You have nothing invested.

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RE: Rudeness - 3/6/2006 5:42:31 PM

Submotive

Posts: 440
Joined: 9/9/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: HarleyBeauty

so what is it that compels people to write nasty emails to a person when they don't like their profile. I changed mine recently because I was tired of the Wanna Bee Masters, and the bull. So I was very straight forward about what I think (hummm a sub with a mind too, what a concept) sorry tangent there, what I want and what i need. I keep getting emails in the bulk folder from Men (?) saying that I am a "bitch". When I try to email them back, they are blocked. Seems rightly chicken to me.

Well - just like anywhere, my dear, there are jerks and there are gentlemen. This site is no different. Choose - it's up to you.

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RE: Rudeness - 3/7/2006 7:39:22 AM

LATEXBABY64

Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
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one lesson i have learned in life is nothing is a 100 percent ceritain its why a judge by charector not by what someone says or copies
while people can change at a drop of hate its who we are inside that shows up eventually

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RE: Rudeness - 3/7/2006 7:57:14 AM

needs2learn

Posts: 15
Joined: 2/15/2006
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from my experience the only rude emails i have got are from people who have messaged me who obviously havent bothered to read my profile they just see submissive and insist that i shall be theirs .................. i take note of this and message them back with a polite please read my profile before contacting me again thanks ............. some of them call me a bitch or a player or tell me I am not sincere as I'm not interested ............ WHO CARES if they think that I dont want to get to know them anyway .............some dont reply back once they have read it and others keep trying to convince me for weeks ............ if I am interested I will say so ............ I'm not being a bitch I'm being a realist (well ok maybe I am but sometimes I just cant resist ........... ) idiots who dont take any notice of what i put on my profile are hardly likely to take notice of me in real life so why would that interest me to find out more

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