Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Prejudice about long-distance D/s - what do you think??


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Prejudice about long-distance D/s - what do you think?? Page: <<   < prev  8 9 10 [11] 12   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Prejudice about long-distance D/s - what do you thi... - 7/18/2009 8:06:35 PM   
AcademyForSlaves


Posts: 712
Joined: 2/24/2006
Status: offline 		Hi.

We've trained and owned so many subs long distance and we've learned it DOES work. It's all in the effort. If both the Dom and the sub really want it to work then it'll work. Why would anyone must be be trained or owned long distance? There's plenty of reasons. Some are married, can't relocate, maybe handicapped, famous, in the army, in college, always on the road, require training online before meeting in person, or maybe the sub found the right Owner who just happens to live far away in another country and the sub can't relocate for awhile. There IS a need for long distance slavery, and like I said if both parties want it to work then it DOES work.

Hope this helps.

_____________________________

Academy Mistresses
http://www.academyforslaves.com/home.html

(in reply to KateyCaine)
Profile   Post #: 201
RE: Prejudice about long-distance D/s - what do you thi... - 7/19/2009 3:02:56 AM   
KaityK


Posts: 36
Joined: 6/27/2009
Status: offline 		How do you train someone online? I know many offer it in return for money which isn't what M/s D/s etc is all about FOR ME. If people want to pay then fair enough. I know people who do but even they would say it's not the same as being in a proper relationship with someone and they pay for rl play not online nonsense.

I had someone respond to my adverts once that said he would train me 'online and on the phone' before we met. Apparently this was to make me at ease but my mind just goes into overdrive at these kinds of suggestions and I think there must be reasons why he can't meet me yet; he is insecure, he doesn't have any equipment, he stinks... On asking how on earth he could 'train' me online the answer was 'tasks'. I absolutely loathe this concept. Tasks usually involve going shopping without knickers on (yawn), going out with things inserted (double yawn) in fact, practically anything that will piss me right off and I still don't know how anyone can be 'trained' from a distance. Not how to serve sexually anyway. Maybe they can be brainwashed into thinking they have a relationship but they are not 'trained' to be that persons submissive if they've never touched them.

(in reply to AcademyForSlaves)
Profile   Post #: 202
RE: Prejudice about long-distance D/s - what do you thi... - 7/19/2009 10:57:05 PM   
DemonKia


Posts: 5521
Joined: 10/13/2007
From: Chico, Nor-Cali
Status: offline 		&

quote:

ORIGINAL: KaityK

Had enough of this thread now. Have fun people!


(in reply to KaityK)
Profile   Post #: 203
RE: Prejudice about long-distance D/s - what do you thi... - 7/19/2009 11:25:31 PM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline 		until your in front of me on your knees begging me to stop whipping your ass,  It aint real.  If you wanna call someone you have never met a relationship go right ahead.  Personally I think it's nutz.  But that's another topic.

Some ppl get attached to pet rocks.  You wanna call it a relationship???  Rock on.

BadOne


_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to Leonidas)
Profile   Post #: 204
RE: Prejudice about long-distance D/s - what do you thi... - 7/20/2009 4:16:25 AM   
JonnieBoy


Posts: 1468
Joined: 4/22/2009
From: Cymru
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

Personally I think it's nutz.  But that's another topic.



Sounds like the same topic to me ... (unless you are qualified to diagnose "nutz"?) ... you just expressed your prejudice quite openly.

Pirate

(in reply to SailingBum)
Profile   Post #: 205
RE: Prejudice about long-distance D/s - what do you thi... - 7/20/2009 4:27:17 AM   
JonnieBoy


Posts: 1468
Joined: 4/22/2009
From: Cymru
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DemonKia

&

quote:

ORIGINAL: KaityK

Had enough of this thread now. Have fun people!




(Jonis Kia for a pint)

If computers get viruses and programs have bugs, maybe forum discussions get "Predictable Tread Syndrome" ?

Pirate

(in reply to DemonKia)
Profile   Post #: 206
RE: Prejudice about long-distance D/s - what do you thi... - 7/20/2009 6:04:45 AM   
Firebirdseeking


Posts: 477
Joined: 9/3/2006
Status: offline 		KaityK:  I have read your posts with interests and admire your tenaciousness in keeping up this discussion/argument, but at the same time I wonder why, and I wonder why you need to be "right".

There are those - including me, to be honest - who would judge your vanilla marriage and the fact that you have masters, or have had three.  Many would say this is not a marriage.  So, who are you to say that someone else does not have a "real" relationship because it does not meet your standards?  I think you should be quiet now and go to bed.

(in reply to KaityK)
Profile   Post #: 207
RE: Prejudice about long-distance D/s - what do you thi... - 7/20/2009 8:05:36 AM   
couldbemage


Posts: 112
Joined: 7/16/2008
Status: offline 		Yeah.

A relationship with no sexual contact has a name; "friendship".

Nothing wrong with friends. I have lots of them.

...but until you actually do something that doesn't belong in the friend zone, you don't have more than a potential relationship.

I have met someone online, and we count our second irl meeting as the start of the relationship.

A real ldr would be post irl with "as possible" meetups. I've done that. It sucks, but....

Likewise, I wouldn't consider online "sex" to be cheating.

(though my thoughts on cheating can't be worth much)


quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum until your in front of me on your knees begging me to stop whipping your ass,  It aint real.  If you wanna call someone you have never met a relationship go right ahead.  Personally I think it's nutz.  But that's another topic. Some ppl get attached to pet rocks.  You wanna call it a relationship???  Rock on. BadOne

(in reply to SailingBum)
Profile   Post #: 208
RE: Prejudice about long-distance D/s - what do you thi... - 7/20/2009 10:14:51 AM   
TurboJugend


Posts: 481
Joined: 6/15/2009
Status: offline
quote:

A relationship with no sexual contact has a name; "friendship".


platonic love ? that goes beyond friendship

< Message edited by TurboJugend -- 7/20/2009 10:15:16 AM >

(in reply to couldbemage)
Profile   Post #: 209
RE: Prejudice about long-distance D/s - what do you thi... - 7/20/2009 10:48:22 AM   
couldbemage


Posts: 112
Joined: 7/16/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TurboJugend
quote:

A relationship with no sexual contact has a name; "friendship".
platonic love ? that goes beyond friendship

That is a good word. I love many of my friends, even though I'm intimate with them. Those people are very important to me. As are my children.

Love and sex go well together, but are not the same thing.

(in reply to TurboJugend)
Profile   Post #: 210
RE: Prejudice about long-distance D/s - what do you thi... - 7/20/2009 2:44:07 PM   
bearly2001


Posts: 28
Joined: 11/24/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Elisabella

quote:

ORIGINAL: bearly2001

i have experienced a bit of prejudice as an online-only dom.. the ultimate LDR. i smile when i see profiles, journals and postings ranting about the illegitimacy of online-only or LDR relationships. to me, it just bespeaks a close-mindedness that indicate a person who undoubtedly doesn't have the imagination, creativity, sensuality and depth to appreciate these relationships anyway. it conveys to them a false sense of validity and sanction to their perceptions and opinions. arrogance
and inflexibility will extract its toll on their possibilities unless they learn tolerance.



Experienced a bit of prejudice or given a bit of prejudice? Seriously.  I have plenty of imagination, creativity, sensuality and depth, but I'd never do an online relationship only because I can get every single thing I'd get out of an online relationship in an offline relationship - except I get sex, and snuggles, and dinner dates, and oh yeah a lifetime commitment known as marriage - and why would I want to settle for only mental stimulation when I could have the whole package?

If that's what you're looking for, it's great, go for it, I'm sure there are plenty of people who want the same.  But don't you dare say anyone who wants to meet someone, have sex, move in together, get a pet, have a family, and get married is too "closed minded" to appreciate a mental connection.  For ANY good relationship you need a mental connection.  I have a brilliant mental connection with my fiance, we've managed to last 7 months apart after living together for over a year.  So I obviously have the capability to do a LDR.  But that's not what I want out of life - I want to spend the rest of my life waking up to my husband and cooking him breakfast.

How would you feel if I said you were online only because you couldn't handle the commitment of waking up to someone every day?  Not good, eh?  Then don't say negative things about people who choose to be in face to face relationships.



elisabella, i can't help but think you totally missed the thrust of my post. i urge you to re-read my post more closely... i merely indicated that those that criticize online-only relationships may be showing their limitations. i am not suggesting that online is superior to any other type of relationship, nor am i saying that those who would never consider one or engage in one too ''closed-minded". i am saying that those that deny that these relationships are "real" or that they are actually "fantasy" may be revealing these limiting traits. i have been in a rare and successful r/t relationship for 36+ years... it's called a marriage! so i guess you could say i understand the benefits of physical contact and connection. but because she is totally vanilla, i have chosen the online-only venue to seek d/s relationships, as i am sure that some in similar circumstances also do. i am sure if you re-read my post, you may realize that i was not showing prejudice, just asking for tolerance and civility of those who look down or presume to denigrate the online-only participants of d/s.

(in reply to Elisabella)
Profile   Post #: 211
RE: Prejudice about long-distance D/s - what do you thi... - 7/20/2009 7:30:27 PM   
Andalusite


Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedslavesweet
There is literally no swordfighting in WoW, so I will agree that is pretty unlikely. And it translated very nicely, thanks for the thought.

I don't play WOW, but I have several friends who do, and rogues, paladins, hunters, and warriors frequently use swords. Heck, they have *fishing* in the game, but building your skill up in the game at that won't translate if you visit a trout stream. I didn't claim that people who are in an online-only relationship can't possibly be a match in terms of S/M and bondage once they do meet. I just wanted to caution people that they can't learn *HOW* to use tools correctly online, so classes or careful experimentation are a good idea, once they do actually meet. Also, things you fantasise about or roleplay online might not be so hot in person, if you've never physically tried them before. Online, anal sex doesn't involve any contact with even trace amounts of poop, bondage can't cut off circulation, knifeplay can't make you bleed, and so forth.

(in reply to ownedslavesweet)
Profile   Post #: 212
RE: Prejudice about long-distance D/s - what do you thi... - 7/20/2009 9:56:05 PM   
LPslittleclip


Posts: 1163
Joined: 9/29/2007
Status: offline 		i have a long distance relationship with my M'Lady due to my being deployed right now. i have lived with Her and proudly wear her collar. that being said it is not a matter of it being truly anything. as i am now apart from all that is near to me i take great comfort in having a ability to be in a submissive relationship in any form. for many there is little opportunity to be with someone full time  due to the economy and such. being physical with my M'Lady only intensifies Our bond but the distance only means that there is no physical contact not that it is of little meaning or significance. in the military there is great prejudice on bdsm but there are many who practice it. all of those who follow kink should help not hinder others who practice what they can as they can.
LPs_littleclip

(in reply to Leonidas)
Profile   Post #: 213
RE: Prejudice about long-distance D/s - what do you thi... - 7/23/2009 5:48:40 AM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KaityK

How do you train someone online? I know many offer it in return for money which isn't what M/s D/s etc is all about FOR ME. If people want to pay then fair enough. I know people who do but even they would say it's not the same as being in a proper relationship with someone and they pay for rl play not online nonsense.

I had someone respond to my adverts once that said he would train me 'online and on the phone' before we met. Apparently this was to make me at ease but my mind just goes into overdrive at these kinds of suggestions and I think there must be reasons why he can't meet me yet; he is insecure, he doesn't have any equipment, he stinks... On asking how on earth he could 'train' me online the answer was 'tasks'. I absolutely loathe this concept. Tasks usually involve going shopping without knickers on (yawn), going out with things inserted (double yawn) in fact, practically anything that will piss me right off and I still don't know how anyone can be 'trained' from a distance. Not how to serve sexually anyway. Maybe they can be brainwashed into thinking they have a relationship but they are not 'trained' to be that persons submissive if they've never touched them.



OK, so it doesn't work for YOU. Is that really so hard to admit? Is it also so hard to admit that while it might not work for YOU that it might work for others (others being NOT YOU)?

No one has actually debated that the physical portion of an LDR is something that is lacking within that context. This does not, however negate the fact that there ARE some sexual things that can be "trained" online or even over the phone. Cumming on command is definitely one of those things that can be trained without physical contact. Regardless of how you perceive the validity of such training, it does not invalidate them.

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to KaityK)
Profile   Post #: 214
RE: Prejudice about long-distance D/s - what do you thi... - 7/23/2009 7:07:30 AM   
NihilusZero


Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DemonKia

&

Is that Guinness in that emoticon?


_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

NihilusZero.com

CM Sex God du Jour
CM Hall Monitor

(in reply to DemonKia)
Profile   Post #: 215
RE: Prejudice about long-distance D/s - what do you thi... - 7/23/2009 8:32:59 AM   
ownedslavesweet


Posts: 23
Joined: 10/7/2007
From: Canberra, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Andalusite


quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedslavesweet
There is literally no swordfighting in WoW, so I will agree that is pretty unlikely. And it translated very nicely, thanks for the thought.

I don't play WOW, but I have several friends who do, and rogues, paladins, hunters, and warriors frequently use swords.


Yep, you are right there, in fact so can warlocks, mages and death knights. Didn't want to be pedantic, and wanted to acknowledge your point. Despite these classes using swords, they do not 'swordfight' as we would generally understand the word. In fact nearly half those classes would never actually use the swords, would only carry them.

Your main point that virtual communication in a place such as WoW does not prepare you for the reality of physical interaction is definitely well made. In my own personal experience, the game only served as a meeting and text communication medium as like any other, such as here. Other than the occasional /kneel in game, our lifestyle never carried into gameplay. There are some people however who do almost think of themselves as their ingame characters, which could certainly be dangerous if it carries itself into naiveity in r/l encounters.

Interestingly, during my time on WoW, a surprisingly large number of couples in the lifestyle popped up... and those were only the ones that I firmly identified. All of them were either living together or travelled back and forth to one another, and were pretty well informed. Of course there would be the weirdos out there who truly live in a fantasy world, but I saw it as a very positive platform for communication and the odd virtual kneel.

lyss

(in reply to Andalusite)
Profile   Post #: 216
RE: Prejudice about long-distance D/s - what do you thi... - 7/23/2009 9:32:53 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bearly2001


quote:

ORIGINAL: Elisabella

quote:

ORIGINAL: bearly2001

i have experienced a bit of prejudice as an online-only dom.. the ultimate LDR. i smile when i see profiles, journals and postings ranting about the illegitimacy of online-only or LDR relationships. to me, it just bespeaks a close-mindedness that indicate a person who undoubtedly doesn't have the imagination, creativity, sensuality and depth to appreciate these relationships anyway. it conveys to them a false sense of validity and sanction to their perceptions and opinions. arrogance
and inflexibility will extract its toll on their possibilities unless they learn tolerance.



Experienced a bit of prejudice or given a bit of prejudice? Seriously.  I have plenty of imagination, creativity, sensuality and depth, but I'd never do an online relationship only because I can get every single thing I'd get out of an online relationship in an offline relationship - except I get sex, and snuggles, and dinner dates, and oh yeah a lifetime commitment known as marriage - and why would I want to settle for only mental stimulation when I could have the whole package?

If that's what you're looking for, it's great, go for it, I'm sure there are plenty of people who want the same.  But don't you dare say anyone who wants to meet someone, have sex, move in together, get a pet, have a family, and get married is too "closed minded" to appreciate a mental connection.  For ANY good relationship you need a mental connection.  I have a brilliant mental connection with my fiance, we've managed to last 7 months apart after living together for over a year.  So I obviously have the capability to do a LDR.  But that's not what I want out of life - I want to spend the rest of my life waking up to my husband and cooking him breakfast.

How would you feel if I said you were online only because you couldn't handle the commitment of waking up to someone every day?  Not good, eh?  Then don't say negative things about people who choose to be in face to face relationships.



elisabella, i can't help but think you totally missed the thrust of my post. i urge you to re-read my post more closely... i merely indicated that those that criticize online-only relationships may be showing their limitations. i am not suggesting that online is superior to any other type of relationship, nor am i saying that those who would never consider one or engage in one too ''closed-minded". i am saying that those that deny that these relationships are "real" or that they are actually "fantasy" may be revealing these limiting traits. i have been in a rare and successful r/t relationship for 36+ years... it's called a marriage! so i guess you could say i understand the benefits of physical contact and connection. but because she is totally vanilla, i have chosen the online-only venue to seek d/s relationships, as i am sure that some in similar circumstances also do. i am sure if you re-read my post, you may realize that i was not showing prejudice, just asking for tolerance and civility of those who look down or presume to denigrate the online-only participants of d/s.



Actually, you just blew the whole argument with this statement.

You asked for tolerance and civility, which I am more than happy to grant, but it would be My opinion that you are comparing apples and oranges between a situation such as yours and the OP's.  This is exactly why I get involved in threads like this.  People need to remember that not all situations of circumstance are the same when discussing long distance.  There are absolutely those out there who have given the rest of us a bad rap.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to bearly2001)
Profile   Post #: 217
RE: Prejudice about long-distance D/s - what do you thi... - 7/23/2009 4:10:05 PM   
CaringandReal


Posts: 1397
Joined: 2/15/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

I must say it seems odd to me that you are taking so much grief for this position. Oddly though, denial of the real (meeting, touching, knowing) intensifies online relationships where folks forgo the "real" for a Dostoevskian-like intense bearing of the souls. I don't think this is particularly well adjusted, but few of Dostoevski's characters were. We all must adapt to our own limitations while trying to pioneer new experiences and relationships, and sometimes desire and imagination are at farthest reach a person may go. Touching, knowing, and feeling might all be off limits or even forbidden.


Which of Dostoevsky's characters did you find to be well-adjusted? If you say the underground man I will jump up and down on your head!

(in reply to cloudboy)
Profile   Post #: 218
RE: Prejudice about long-distance D/s - what do you thi... - 7/23/2009 4:16:14 PM   
MasterSlaveLA


Posts: 3991
Status: offline 		It's not "prejudice", but "experience"... that most LDR either (i) never last, (ii) are fraught with fantasy about the other, or (iii) have some level of deception taking place.  Not stating it's impossible, just highly unlikely it'll work out.

 

_____________________________

It's only kinky the first time!!!

(in reply to CaringandReal)
Profile   Post #: 219
RE: Prejudice about long-distance D/s - what do you thi... - 7/23/2009 7:01:27 PM   
dreamerdreaming


Posts: 2839
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

24/7 slaves are not chained to a post 24/7.  They have lives and jobs.  The ones I know in real life do, anyway.  Perhaps the ones you know in real life are chained to a post.  Things might be different in your small country.





*hurries away to unchain slave from his post*





_____________________________

Download SLAVE LOVER. Explicit BDSM porn, with a plot! A love story, on a FemDom planet! http://www.amazon.com/Slave-Lover-Chronicles-Book-ebook/dp/B0031ERBLI/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1261973416&sr=1

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 220
Page:   <<   < prev  8 9 10 [11] 12   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Prejudice about long-distance D/s - what do you think?? Page: <<   < prev  8 9 10 [11] 12   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094