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RE: Sharing all with Master, regardless... - 7/13/2009 10:27:42 PM

NuevaVida

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

I know its a nit, its the YKINMK thing, I just don't get this one--its just Me I guess.

It's not a kink thing, it's a life thing. Couples share with one another.

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RE: Sharing all with Master, regardless... - 7/13/2009 10:31:46 PM

NihilusZero

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quote:

ORIGINAL: barelynangel

If you are speaking with someone you know to be a slave, you would be putting THEM in an ackward position of you expected ANYTHING LESS than realization their master could very well expect them to share the information of conversatioins throughout te day. When in doubt go with the fact that if you are speaking to the slave, you are speaking to their Master. Whether or not the Man asks for the information is a different story, as most Men are not that interested in all the conversations their slave had with everyone every day lol. But the possibility he checks her logs, messages, or even asks her to relation what transpired in a specific conversation is a very real possibility. What he chooses to do with such information is up to him.

Also, be aware that when a woman is a slave she shares much with her Master automatically, so disclaiming to you or everyone she speaks with that privacy is not guaranteed is kind of a little much. So, if you are relaying something you don't wish shared with others, be observant of who you are talking too because while they are your friend, they are always their Master's slave first and foremost, and privacy is not yours to dictate to them. If that makes sense.

angel

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RE: Sharing all with Master, regardless... - 7/14/2009 12:35:45 AM

MasterFireMaam

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I think it is valid for them to practice this. However, it is not allowing those involved in conversations the choice of informed consent if they do not explain that they have no private conversations.

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RE: Sharing all with Master, regardless... - 7/14/2009 12:37:41 AM

susie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

I know its a nit, its the YKINMK thing, I just don't get this one--its just Me I guess.

It's not a kink thing, it's a life thing. Couples share with one another.

I agree it has nothing to do with WIIWD. I often see my Father answer the phone at home, talk to someone then when he is finished turn round and say to my Mother "oh that was Auntie dodah and she wanted to know if I had Uncle wotsits address" Normal stuff between couples.

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RE: Sharing all with Master, regardless... - 7/14/2009 1:20:20 AM

ranja

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I recently had a thread on letters...and aparently a lot of people feel different and way more private about sharing content of a letter.... very interesting....

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RE: Sharing all with Master, regardless... - 7/14/2009 1:23:08 AM

GreedyTop

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as I recall, your thread did not specify conversations between yourself and a committed dom/master.

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RE: Sharing all with Master, regardless... - 7/14/2009 2:48:23 AM

Prinsexx

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

I have recently come upon more than one occurence where I was informed that collared submissives/slaves share all conversations, regardless of content, they have with others with their Masters, regardless if the person involved knows about it or not--(It seems this is more a female sub male Master I could be wrong)---I feel this is a huge invasion of the third party privacy. Am I nuts? Am I alone, should not the third party know that this may happen? Do you feel like a schmuck if you say, I'm sorry, I can't abide by that?

Three points:
First:
Shouldn't the sub inform the third party that they are required to share all conversations with their Master? (in the best of all possible worlds).

and secondly:
Shouldn't the sub/slave tell the thris party they are owned?

and third:
Thus happens in the world outside of bdsm. Quite a few political scandals have occurred because of 'sharing' in bedroom talk (Mandy Rice-Davies being notorious n British political history. Gay was considered, (quite erroneously of course) until relatively recently, to be a political risk for this very reason.

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RE: Sharing all with Master, regardless... - 7/14/2009 2:58:18 AM

ranja

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quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

as I recall, your thread did not specify conversations between yourself and a committed dom/master.

No it was not, you are right, but the idea most people seemed to have was that the info disclosed in a letter should be kept private eventhough it was not so specifically requested (this is not my stance) While with spoken info it seems that people are very comfortable to think it would not only be shared with trusted partners...but that you really should not expect anybody not to 'blab' so to speak.... i think this is interesting

It comes across a bit like:
if you write stuff in a letter then you should be able to feel confident it will be kept a secret
but if you tell a secret you should really be prepared that it will become common knowledge

I find this a very strange revelation as it seems when things are in a letter black on white with a name to it it is clear... while the merely spoken stories tend to change everytime they are told on, they often can easily be denied too.

Also where does the sub stand when receiving a letter then? Whereas spoken 'secrets' are expected to be shared with the Dominant so surely should the content of the letter? or not?

< Message edited by ranja -- 7/14/2009 3:14:52 AM >

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RE: Sharing all with Master, regardless... - 7/14/2009 3:08:37 AM

Prinsexx

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'There is no other word more guaranteed to make information spread like wildfire than the word confidential.'
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RE: Sharing all with Master, regardless... - 7/14/2009 4:02:00 AM

oceanwinds

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I am with you Cat. I been fortunate to have had men in my life who do not have a need to know all about my conversations with others. They tend to be or been very active in their life, and have told me that they are glad I do not bring everything to the table for them. Yes, I might mention that someone we know is having difficulties, but I do not go into details. I have noticed in vanilla relationships, that this is practice as well as in Ds. Because of this knowledge, I very seldom will relate information to another person. There are a few who have had husbands or Sir's who do not have that over whelming need to have full discloseur of everything, and in them I feel comfort. Like Sir and late hubby have both stated, they do not want to be loaded down with other people's problems and gossip. If a problem creaps up that affects me, I will talk to them about how to handle it, but that is the extent. I can submit easily, but I do not want to live in a police state.
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RE: Sharing all with Master, regardless... - 7/14/2009 5:15:14 AM

CallaFirestormBW

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LovingMistress45

Personally, I always assume that when there is a couple (be it lifestyle or vanilla) that what I say most likely will be shared with the other. If it is really important to me that it not be shared I would ask before disclosed the information. Unless I have asked for and the person has agreed to keep it confidential I don't view sharing it with his/her partner an invasion of privacy.

I'm in the same boat. I presume, if I am dealing with someone in a committed relationship, that what I say will be shared with the person's significant other, unless I've specifically requested discretion.

Dame Calla

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RE: Sharing all with Master, regardless... - 7/14/2009 5:27:36 AM

CallaFirestormBW

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quote:

Three points:
First:
Shouldn't the sub inform the third party that they are required to share all conversations with their Master? (in the best of all possible worlds).

and secondly:
Shouldn't the sub/slave tell the thris party they are owned?

and third:
Thus happens in the world outside of bdsm. Quite a few political scandals have occurred because of 'sharing' in bedroom talk (Mandy Rice-Davies being notorious n British political history. Gay was considered, (quite erroneously of course) until relatively recently, to be a political risk for this very reason.

Ok, here's the scoop. I'm not 'owned' by any stretch of the imagination, but I share just about -everything- with my companions. It isn't like they -demand- it, but they're an integral part of my life, and what affects me, affects them... in the same way, what impacts my moods is going to have an impact on them, as well, and, on top of that, these are the people that I turn to to bounce things off of, to talk through how I'm either handling or thinking of handling sticky situations, and to rant and rave at when things aren't working. They're also the people that I share things with that make me laugh, smile, hope, and dream. It always surprises me when people think that we don't talk to one another... about EVERYTHING... It has nothing to do with -ownership-, because right now, there isn't anyone in my life that I am keeping that way... but it has EVERYTHING to do with the intimacy and transparency of a long-term, healthy relationship.

For us, it is a choice to share. In an authority-transfer relationship, it may be compelled (especially in the beginning, when it isn't so automatic to share everything)... and it doesn't automatically mean that everything discussed -will- be shared... but I would think that, in any intimate relationship, the individuals involved would share with one another at this level. I expect it, and it seems strange to me when this level of intimacy -isn't- part of the dynamic.

Dame Calla

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RE: Sharing all with Master, regardless... - 7/14/2009 5:42:27 AM

allthatjaz

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What ever I write on here my partner is always welcome to read. Whatever he writes (not often) I am welcome to read too but we tend not to bother unless one of us has pointed out something.

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RE: Sharing all with Master, regardless... - 7/14/2009 6:27:55 AM

agirl

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It sounds far more weird than it actually is.

Although this possibly might make me appear the most untrustworthy person on the planet ....I am still perfectly happy to say......* I can't be trusted NOT to mention ANYTHING to M*.

Anyone that knows me, knows that I simply don't spend ANY time working out what to keep *secret* and what NOT to, when it comes to HIM. I may never mention it .....it may never come up.......but they run the risk that it might and I will speak of it. I've also said * Don't tell me, if you don't want M to know*. The ONE and ONLY reason M might be interested in my conversations is if they affect us. Other than that , neither of us care......There's far too much else to talk about and do.

I wouldn't put anyone in the position of feeling they have to/ought to withhold anything I've said or disclosed, to their partner. If I have to make that distinction, I shouldn't be saying it in the first place.

And a little like Lashra.......I also tend to assume that people WILL talk, despite their best intentions at times, and there are very few people that I could rely on to NEVER mention something I'd shared in confidence. My Owner is one , my kids and my Mum are are the others.

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RE: Sharing all with Master, regardless... - 7/14/2009 6:41:47 AM

pixidustpet

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i tell just about everything to TheEngineer. why? because i need to get the conversation out of my head.

i can be trusted to keep a secret. and he understands if someone asks me to keep a confidence *as long as it isnt about him*. and i respect his privacy also, if he's talking with his sister i dont ask what about, while i may ask how she is.

its a couples thing to some extent, and a BDSM thing in that he has the right to know everything in my mind/heart. i dont have the right to keep secrets from him unless he gives me that right.

kitten

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RE: Sharing all with Master, regardless... - 7/14/2009 7:14:55 AM

NuevaVida

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quote:

ORIGINAL: oceanwinds

I am with you Cat. I been fortunate to have had men in my life who do not have a need to know all about my conversations with others. They tend to be or been very active in their life, and have told me that they are glad I do not bring everything to the table for them. Yes, I might mention that someone we know is having difficulties, but I do not go into details. I have noticed in vanilla relationships, that this is practice as well as in Ds. Because of this knowledge, I very seldom will relate information to another person. There are a few who have had husbands or Sir's who do not have that over whelming need to have full discloseur of everything, and in them I feel comfort. Like Sir and late hubby have both stated, they do not want to be loaded down with other people's problems and gossip. If a problem creaps up that affects me, I will talk to them about how to handle it, but that is the extent. I can submit easily, but I do not want to live in a police state.
Oceanwinds

Way to put down those who are not like you.

For some, it's basic communication and wanting to know how their partners might be affected by what someone else is telling them. For some, it's a way of reminding the submissive that he/she has no privacy from them. For some, it just makes them feel good to share everything. And so on.

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RE: Sharing all with Master, regardless... - 7/14/2009 7:36:22 AM

SmokeSerpent

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

I have recently come upon more than one occurence where I was informed that collared submissives/slaves share all conversations, regardless of content, they have with others with their Masters, regardless if the person involved knows about it or not--(It seems this is more a female sub male Master I could be wrong)---I feel this is a huge invasion of the third party privacy. Am I nuts? Am I alone, should not the third party know that this may happen? Do you feel like a schmuck if you say, I'm sorry, I can't abide by that?

As many have said, when you are talking to one half of a couple, you have to assume that the other half will know everything you've said. Beyond that, you should never assume that online conversations are private.

However, I *will* disagree with many here by saying that if someone is in a circumstance that they are compelled to actually provide copies of chat logs or if someone else has full access to their accounts, they *should* make this known to people they are conversing with.

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RE: Sharing all with Master, regardless... - 7/14/2009 7:52:57 AM

marie2

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

I feel this is a huge invasion of the third party privacy. Am I nuts? Am I alone, should not the third party know that this may happen? Do you feel like a schmuck if you say, I'm sorry, I can't abide by that?

It's not uncommon for a dom/master to read all of his/her submissive's conversations and emails etc,. For some couples this is a very intimate thing. But I do think the third party should be informed...
Unfortunately in some cases, the third party isn't able to talk to the submissive about personal matters any longer. But like anything else, it all comes down to individual priorities.

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RE: Sharing all with Master, regardless... - 7/14/2009 7:58:32 AM

oceanwinds

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

quote:

ORIGINAL: oceanwinds

I am with you Cat. I been fortunate to have had men in my life who do not have a need to know all about my conversations with others. They tend to be or been very active in their life, and have told me that they are glad I do not bring everything to the table for them. Yes, I might mention that someone we know is having difficulties, but I do not go into details. I have noticed in vanilla relationships, that this is practice as well as in Ds. Because of this knowledge, I very seldom will relate information to another person. There are a few who have had husbands or Sir's who do not have that over whelming need to have full discloseur of everything, and in them I feel comfort. Like Sir and late hubby have both stated, they do not want to be loaded down with other people's problems and gossip. If a problem creaps up that affects me, I will talk to them about how to handle it, but that is the extent. I can submit easily, but I do not want to live in a police state.
Oceanwinds

Way to put down those who are not like you.

For some, it's basic communication and wanting to know how their partners might be affected by what someone else is telling them. For some, it's a way of reminding the submissive that he/she has no privacy from them. For some, it just makes them feel good to share everything. And so on.

I am sorry that was not my intent to put others down. I was just explaining my view, which I already assume would be in the minority. Not my way to put others down, and I do apologize if it came across that way.

oceanwinds

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RE: Sharing all with Master, regardless... - 7/14/2009 8:29:29 AM

Drakontos

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

I have recently come upon more than one occurence where I was informed that collared submissives/slaves share all conversations, regardless of content, they have with others with their Masters, regardless if the person involved knows about it or not--(It seems this is more a female sub male Master I could be wrong)---I feel this is a huge invasion of the third party privacy. Am I nuts? Am I alone, should not the third party know that this may happen? Do you feel like a schmuck if you say, I'm sorry, I can't abide by that?

Anyone zaphira talks with outside of Master, knows without a doubt that any and all conversations will be shared. Not because zaphira told them this; but because it is understood ( within the circle of people that zaphira knows ) that partners do not keep things from one another; and that includes conversations of a casual/heavy nature.

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