RE: regarding fake doms and wanna bes.

RE: regarding fake doms and wanna bes. (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion

Message

marie2 -> RE: regarding fake doms and wanna bes. (7/16/2009 11:23:25 PM)
To me, a fake anything is a person who misrepresents him/herself. Basically a "bullshitter".

LadySweetOrSour -> RE: regarding fake doms and wanna bes. (7/16/2009 11:24:26 PM)
I'd call a fake dom the same as I call fake subs. Those who aren't really into dominance (or submission), but just looking for sex of any kind.

crouchingtigress -> RE: regarding fake doms and wanna bes. (7/16/2009 11:24:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA quote: ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress I have never met any one that was really like that, if you talk to those that other folks feel are selfish, often you find out that they were upfront about what they wanted, and there were grave misunderstandings from each person which was the "fault" of a lack of communication. You're lucky... many have very obviously visited the "Castle Realm" type of site and then parrot that garbage to potentials under the guise of being the Uber Dommy-Dom whose trained and owned "many", but have likely only dominated their cat. Makes it very obvious they're lying about their experience and pulled that shit off some fantasy kink site. I guess what I dont seem to understand is why those folks that go to castle relam are any les dom then me and my two decades of living this everyday...to me this is the crusxt...why do we make people with less experiance feel as though they dont belong to the club?

Danemora -> RE: regarding fake doms and wanna bes. (7/16/2009 11:27:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress I hear all the time about dangerous people among us, but in the 22 years I have been in the lifestyle I have never met one...I meet folks that make mistakes, or dont communicate well or are unskilled at doing things like suspentions, but usually anytime folks get hurt, its a lack of planning and communicating. I have not personally met one either. And I do agree with you about people who make mistakes, are unskilled, or have poor communication skills that result in someone inadvertently being hurt. But because I havent met one, doesnt mean that they dont exist. A notable example that comes to mind is John Robinson and six individuals who lost their lives because they had the misfortune of running into this "slavemaster." This is of course an extreme example, but this type of individual was the type I was referring to.

crouchingtigress -> RE: regarding fake doms and wanna bes. (7/16/2009 11:27:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: marie2 To me, a fake anything is a person who misrepresents him/herself. Basically a "bullshitter". hey Marie :) But i guess what I have noticed is that often times we judge them as misrepresnting themselves as something they are not because they are not doing what ever it is they claim to be doing they way we do it.....does that make sense? They are almost never maliciously lying, more often then not, they just do things differnt then how some one else does.

crouchingtigress -> RE: regarding fake doms and wanna bes. (7/16/2009 11:29:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadySweetOrSour I'd call a fake dom the same as I call fake subs. Those who aren't really into dominance (or submission), but just looking for sex of any kind. well if it is sex, and they want to be dominant in the sex or they want to be passive in the sex ....then are they not a dominant or a submissive?

MasterSlaveLA -> RE: regarding fake doms and wanna bes. (7/16/2009 11:31:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: gift4mistress quote: ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA Two dangerous things for someone who's supposed to be in control... "the blind leading the blind", and all that. It's possible that I might have misunderstood your comment. You did.

MasterSlaveLA -> RE: regarding fake doms and wanna bes. (7/16/2009 11:32:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress quote: ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA quote: ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress I have never met any one that was really like that, if you talk to those that other folks feel are selfish, often you find out that they were upfront about what they wanted, and there were grave misunderstandings from each person which was the "fault" of a lack of communication. You're lucky... many have very obviously visited the "Castle Realm" type of site and then parrot that garbage to potentials under the guise of being the Uber Dommy-Dom whose trained and owned "many", but have likely only dominated their cat. Makes it very obvious they're lying about their experience and pulled that shit off some fantasy kink site. I guess what I dont seem to understand is why those folks that go to castle relam are any les dom then me Difference between fantasy and reality.

crouchingtigress -> RE: regarding fake doms and wanna bes. (7/16/2009 11:33:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Danemora quote: ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress I hear all the time about dangerous people among us, but in the 22 years I have been in the lifestyle I have never met one...I meet folks that make mistakes, or dont communicate well or are unskilled at doing things like suspentions, but usually anytime folks get hurt, its a lack of planning and communicating. I have not personally met one either. And I do agree with you about people who make mistakes, are unskilled, or have poor communication skills that result in someone inadvertently being hurt. But because I havent met one, doesnt mean that they dont exist. A notable example that comes to mind is John Robinson and six individuals who lost their lives because they had the misfortune of running into this "slavemaster." This is of course an extreme example, but this type of individual was the type I was referring to. yeah I hear ya...did he get the chair? i hope so! I dont know what as a community we can do about that sort of person, hopefully our radar and playdar would alert on him....that is also why i like people who play in public, its safer, as strange as that sounds to say.

DanaYielding -> RE: regarding fake doms and wanna bes. (7/16/2009 11:40:26 PM)
Dont let the 24 hour news cycle keep you from living life. This shit happened all the time and is only now being newsworthy because the 24 hour news channel needs to scare the shit out of you to make you watch them.

marie2 -> RE: regarding fake doms and wanna bes. (7/16/2009 11:41:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress quote: ORIGINAL: marie2 To me, a fake anything is a person who misrepresents him/herself. Basically a "bullshitter". hey Marie :) But i guess what I have noticed is that often times we judge them as misrepresnting themselves as something they are not because they are not doing what ever it is they claim to be doing they way we do it.....does that make sense? They are almost never maliciously lying, more often then not, they just do things differnt then how some one else does. Hi ya, Amy :) Ok to me there is a huge difference between these two types. Sure, there are people who do "it" differently than me or you, or joe blow, doesn't make them fakes. Someone is only a fake (to me) if they're intentionally bullshitting in order to present a false persona. But I do get what you're saying, and I see people classifying others as fakes because they do it differently. Maybe in an effort to convince ourselves (generic) that we are "real" and not living out a fantasy, we need something to compare it to; something else that we can call "fake". I don't know.

crouchingtigress -> RE: regarding fake doms and wanna bes. (7/16/2009 11:45:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA quote: ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress quote: ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA quote: ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress I have never met any one that was really like that, if you talk to those that other folks feel are selfish, often you find out that they were upfront about what they wanted, and there were grave misunderstandings from each person which was the "fault" of a lack of communication. You're lucky... many have very obviously visited the "Castle Realm" type of site and then parrot that garbage to potentials under the guise of being the Uber Dommy-Dom whose trained and owned "many", but have likely only dominated their cat. Makes it very obvious they're lying about their experience and pulled that shit off some fantasy kink site. I guess what I dont seem to understand is why those folks that go to castle relam are any les dom then me Difference between fantasy and reality. See I dont think you understand my point yet you are illustrating it perfectly....you are showing that you judge people on your own criteria of what you think the world of SM is and what parts are real and what parts arent.... My point is that it is all real.... My other point is that it does not serve us to judge... Dont get me wrong, I was like you 20 years ago, I was adorable, had a very sex ass, was quick witted, i loved to write and I loved to tell the world how much better I was because I knew what D/S and S/m was and wasnt...I was a real slave, ect... But with time and age comes wisdom, and I have learned there really is no real SM or BDSM...its ALL mental constructs and its ALL a reality pre negotiated by the people involved.... And since its all what we elect it to be, for us, then I think we could be less elitist about it. I am not saying you are elitist, I am saying we are, as a whole, fairly elitist and alarmist, and what it does is it creates a culture of fear of mistakes....and what that does is in turn create culture of posturing, and posing. Just something to think about if you wanted to. :)

DanaYielding -> RE: regarding fake doms and wanna bes. (7/16/2009 11:45:27 PM)
Touche` Marie. Fakes make false representations and portray themselves as someone they are not.

Arpig -> RE: regarding fake doms and wanna bes. (7/16/2009 11:53:02 PM)
quote: A notable example that comes to mind is John Robinson and six individuals who lost their lives because they had the misfortune of running into this "slavemaster." This is of course an extreme example, but this type of individual was the type I was referring to. Why would this person be any less of a Dom than anybody else? The fact that he was a serial killer has no bearing on whether he was a Dom or not. Being a Dom does not mean one places any particular value on one's partners/playmates. Granted this guy may not have been a Dominant, and may have pretended to be one to lure submissives to their doom, but simply being a psychopathic murderer does not mean he isn't a Dominant.

crouchingtigress -> RE: regarding fake doms and wanna bes. (7/16/2009 11:53:57 PM)
We were referring to slavemaster: a series of murders that happened almost a decade ago. I dont watch the news. ever not even a little....but its still a good point, in that the media has historically portrayed us inaccurately and they cultivate a fear of us, that serves them but does not serve us. quote: ORIGINAL: DanaYielding Dont let the 24 hour news cycle keep you from living life. This shit happened all the time and is only now being newsworthy because the 24 hour news channel needs to scare the shit out of you to make you watch them.

MasterSlaveLA -> RE: regarding fake doms and wanna bes. (7/16/2009 11:54:09 PM)
quote: My other point is that it does not serve us to judge... See... here's where we disagree. I don't know where this nonsense about not "judging" anything BDSM came about. If a Top was violating another's limits, wouldn't you "judge" that to be poor behavior? If a Top assumed all subs/slaves desired to be locked in a celler and removed from the world, wouldn't you "judge" that to be nutso? If a Top drugged a submissive, wouldn't you "judge" that as wrong? Of course you would. What I'm stating is no different... many read that Castle Realm crap and think that's what this dynamic is about... "Just beat her ass and force your cock down her throat". They don't get BDSM is not encapsulated in the physical. So yes... I judge those fantasy-net-Doms as fakes.

Danemora -> RE: regarding fake doms and wanna bes. (7/16/2009 11:55:52 PM)
I honestly have no clue if he is an actual Dom or not. Nor do I honestly care. Of course its merely my subjective opinion that murdering people and burying them in barrels on your property isnt a good thing. I guess that would show dominance, so Ill agree with you there. However judging his level of dominance was not in any way the point of bringing him up. Keep in mind that I was not making judgment on whether or not this man was dominant or not. He was only an example of dangerous individuals who are out here in the BDSM world. Its as simple as that. Please dont read more into my words than is really there.

crouchingtigress -> RE: regarding fake doms and wanna bes. (7/16/2009 11:59:48 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Arpig quote: A notable example that comes to mind is John Robinson and six individuals who lost their lives because they had the misfortune of running into this "slavemaster." This is of course an extreme example, but this type of individual was the type I was referring to. Why would this person be any less of a Dom than anybody else? The fact that he was a serial killer has no bearing on whether he was a Dom or not. Being a Dom does not mean one places any particular value on one's partners/playmates. Granted this guy may not have been a Dominant, and may have pretended to be one to lure submissives to their doom, but simply being a psychopathic murderer does not mean he isn't a Dominant. Wow i was just going to go to sleep and then you chime in with this!!! How excited I am that some one on hear could have such a broad minded POV and open themselves to such a dangerous conversation....KUDOS! IMO you are right, he was just as dom as any one else....wow... You know I left here 2 years ago because I felt folks would not engage me in dangerous conversations....I was really hammered because of my affinity with amputaion play and I just threw in the towel to go and have the conversations that need to be had, (because we all have dark pudding) with other folks who also dont have such a black and white view of the world.... Thank you for making me feel inspired and engaged on the boreds again :)

SteelofUtah -> RE: regarding fake doms and wanna bes. (7/17/2009 12:00:24 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA many read that Castle Realm crap and think that's what this dynamic is about... "Just beat her ass and force your cock down her throat". Where in the hell on Castle Realm did you ever read that? Colm and jade were really all about love until she died and yes I knew them both, you may not care for the site but what was behind it was a very dedicated couple. None of what Colm stood for was about Beating ass and Shoving Cock down Throats, so Now I turn to ask you, where did you get that Idea from? Are you just repeating something else you read somewhere because this is the second time you mentioned Castle Realm. I am Familiar with the ANTI-Castle Realm Kick, it was popular like 6 years ago when Castle Realm was at it's Height, but castle realm has been gone for some 3 years now. the Newbies and Wanna Be's today most of them don't even know what Castle Realm was. Seriously what is with all the Negativity? Steel

Arpig -> RE: regarding fake doms and wanna bes. (7/17/2009 12:03:47 AM)
quote: They don't get BDSM is not encapsulated in the physical. The point you are missing here is that to some people BDSM is encapsulated in the physical. And their BDSM experience is no less valid than yours. Just as there those for whom there is nothing sexual in their BDSM (zaphira comes to mind), their experience is every bit as valid as yours. They are no less real than you. There are women who wish to submit without there being any reciprocation of emotion, they do not wish to be a cherished possession, they wish to merely be possessed, and again, they are every bit as real as you. There are those to whom the idea of a M/s relationship "based in strength, trust, love, and respect" would be anathema, to them those things have no place in their relationship. And once again, they are every bit as real as you. What you are doing is declaring anybody who does not see BDSM the way you do to be a "Fake", and that smacks of the dreaded one twue wayism.

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 4 5 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.0625