RE: regarding fake doms and wanna bes.

RE: regarding fake doms and wanna bes. (Full Version)

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crouchingtigress -> RE: regarding fake doms and wanna bes. (7/17/2009 12:47:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael quote: ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress Hi Micheal, I was hoping you would join us because this thread was because I did not want hijack your thread....which was excellent... Thanks! Oh, and on the subject of how we are all fakes, I hope to see you again at SouthWest Leather next year! Cross your fingers for me, I am under consideration to present at my first major event, very excited. Well on my way toward my goal of presenting at SWLC in 2011. But we are all fakes and anonymous so please don't tell anyone I met you. HOT DAMN! Can we put in a good word for you?

Arpig -> RE: regarding fake doms and wanna bes. (7/17/2009 12:48:29 AM)
quote: If it were, then you wouldn't need another as you could hit yourself and get the same outcome. If I hit myself I would not get the same outcome as I would hitting another person...you clearly have no concept why we D types hit people.

MasterSlaveLA -> RE: regarding fake doms and wanna bes. (7/17/2009 12:54:48 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Arpig quote: If it were, then you wouldn't need another as you could hit yourself and get the same outcome. If I hit myself I would not get the same outcome as I would hitting another person...you clearly have no concept why we D types hit people. You clearly can't comrehend the difference between addressing the bottom or Top side of the slash. A bottom seeks the smack, no? You don't get that?!! And if you think it's just about being hit, you know nothing about the other side of the slash. Now, as to you? Are you going to tell me there is ZERO "mental" component to when you're smacking another? You're lying if you do... there's a mental component as well as a physical one.

SimplyMichael -> RE: regarding fake doms and wanna bes. (7/17/2009 12:56:46 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress quote: ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael quote: ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress Hi Micheal, I was hoping you would join us because this thread was because I did not want hijack your thread....which was excellent... Thanks! Oh, and on the subject of how we are all fakes, I hope to see you again at SouthWest Leather next year! Cross your fingers for me, I am under consideration to present at my first major event, very excited. Well on my way toward my goal of presenting at SWLC in 2011. But we are all fakes and anonymous so please don't tell anyone I met you. HOT DAMN! Can we put in a good word for you? Uh, not even sure what to say but I would be deeply honored and a bit humbled by the offer. I want to do my "Navigating Monogamy in a Sea of Poly" class.

RCdc -> RE: regarding fake doms and wanna bes. (7/17/2009 12:59:21 AM)
People who make the claims of fakes and wannabes are no more than stroking their own egos. It's simply a superiority thing. For example, MasterSlave LA is claiming the fakeness of people. No offense and purely as an example but for me, I would not be able to dominate nor submit to either. Therefore, they are wannabes. Voila - I am better.[;)] the.dark.

GreedyTop -> RE: regarding fake doms and wanna bes. (7/17/2009 1:02:40 AM)
drooooools about the supreme dark

WyldHrt -> RE: regarding fake doms and wanna bes. (7/17/2009 1:05:59 AM)
quote: But i guess what I have noticed is that often times we judge them as misrepresnting themselves as something they are not because they are not doing what ever it is they claim to be doing they way we do it.....does that make sense? I've seen this and agree that doing things their own way is not people "misrepresenting themselves", as long as they are straightforward with potential partners. That whole communication thing, as always. quote: They are almost never maliciously lying, more often then not, they just do things differnt then how some one else does. Here's where I'm going to have to disagree. "Almost never maliciously lying"... hmmm. Is claiming to be single when married maliciously lying? I think it is. Is claiming to have an open marriage while going behind your spouse's back to get your kink on maliciously lying? It is in my world. Is a guy putting up a female profile and pretending to be a woman in order to masturbate while chatting with lesbians maliciously lying? Hell yes. None of these things are rare so, to me, "almost never" often is. As regards Slavemaster, whether he was Dominant or not doesn't really matter. I somehow doubt that he was upfront with his "partners" about the fact that they would end up dead, at least until they were immobilized and couldn't refuse. A nice, extreme example of misrepresentation, that.

MasterSlaveLA -> RE: regarding fake doms and wanna bes. (7/17/2009 1:18:52 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark MasterSlave LA is claiming the fakeness of people. So to be clear... are you publicly stating there are no "fakes" here on CollarMe, or that the vast majority are as experienced as they say they are? That is... knowing full well anyone can be anything behind their keyboard. I'd like to be clear on this.

RCdc -> RE: regarding fake doms and wanna bes. (7/17/2009 1:20:51 AM)
collects drool and treasures it for later...[:)] the.dark.*

Racquelle -> RE: regarding fake doms and wanna bes. (7/17/2009 1:22:18 AM)
There is much decrying of "fakeness" in this virtual forum, which is, in essence, fake itself. I mean, I am not just 1's and 0's, nor are you. Someone, earlier asked "why don't we want them to join our club?" or something to that effect. It really isn't that I don't want them to join my club - THEY don't want to join MY club. They want to join some other club that seems starkly different from mine, but call it by the same name. Of course that is not going to feel genuine to me, and I am sure, I don't feel genuine to them. I drew a bigger circle and let them in, and there they stand, looking entirely out of place, but they are welcome, none-the-less. I can guarantee none of us was literally born into the roles we sometimes assume - really - I was not birthed into a sleek swath of latex and 4 inch heels. Each of us assumes a bit of a persona. But inside that there is a glimmer of who we truly are, perhaps our best selves. To me a fake is a person who has donned such an incredible costume, a swagger and a posture that one cannot see the glimmer of truth at all in them. What will seem false to me, may not seem false to another. In fact, what seems false to me often deeply resonates with others - I have seen it. It is physical, it is emotional, it is real and it is fantasy - it is, most delicious, this lovely strange thing we do, when it encompasses paradoxes and contradictions, puts a little English on them, and sends the fuckers sailing into the pocket. That is snooker my dear.

ChasingOblivion -> RE: regarding fake doms and wanna bes. (7/17/2009 1:26:58 AM)
In my opinion, a "fake" Dom is someone who lies about their experience, relationship status, history etc. Basically, a liar. A "wanna be" Dom is someone who talks a good game, but when it actually comes time to do something, has no clue, no confidence, and just sort of stares like a deer in the headlights until you poke him and tell him what to do. It's intensely uncomfortable and awkward for both parties. But, as I said, that's just my opinion. As an aside, what does it really matter? Everyone has differing opinions of what's real and fake, or good and bad. If you know what you like, and you know what you don't like, then in my opinion you're ahead of the curve. Just enjoy it, and stop arguing semantics because, in the grand scheme of things, it's really not all that important.

RCdc -> RE: regarding fake doms and wanna bes. (7/17/2009 1:39:10 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA quote: ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark MasterSlave LA is claiming the fakeness of people. So to be clear... are you publicly stating there are no "fakes" here on CollarMe, or that the vast majority are as experienced as they say they are? That is... knowing full well anyone can be anything behind their keyboard. I'd like to be clear on this. I do not use that word in BDSM so really, your question has no real answer from me other than I don't use that word. I use it correctly. There are no fakes on collarme BECAUSE the word is pointless and doesn't fit the criteria you are suggesting it does. It's a lame word that is banded around as though it holds any relevance. It is no different to all the other pretty little buzz words that people use to validate themselves over another. People lie. Some people spin wild stories and exaggerate their existance. So why not just say that? Using the word fake is a laziness with words and it is incredibly vague and unimaginative. Seeing as vagueness and lacking communications are a couple of the reasons given at times that people can be called wannabes, what does that make the people using the word fake? the.dark.

WyldHrt -> RE: regarding fake doms and wanna bes. (7/17/2009 1:44:53 AM)
quote: People who make the claims of fakes and wannabes are no more than stroking their own egos. It's simply a superiority thing I can go with the wannabes, but some guy in an internet cafe claiming to be a 21 year old female model lying his ass off in order to fleece an unsuspecting het male is fake. So is the the guy with the female profile, (complete with stolen model pics), claiming to be a lesbian. In my world, someone who is married and looking to cheat while claiming to be single is also fake. But that's just me.

GreedyTop -> RE: regarding fake doms and wanna bes. (7/17/2009 1:57:02 AM)
I agree, Wyld....

WyldHrt -> RE: regarding fake doms and wanna bes. (7/17/2009 2:15:02 AM)
smooches the Greedy One [:D]

RCdc -> RE: regarding fake doms and wanna bes. (7/17/2009 2:20:50 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: WyldHrt quote: People who make the claims of fakes and wannabes are no more than stroking their own egos. It's simply a superiority thing I can go with the wannabes, but some guy in an internet cafe claiming to be a 21 year old female model lying his ass off in order to fleece an unsuspecting het male is fake. So is the the guy with the female profile, (complete with stolen model pics), claiming to be a lesbian. In my world, someone who is married and looking to cheat while claiming to be single is also fake. But that's just me. And to me he is a liar. So I just say 'Hes a fucking liar'. It's probably the artist in me. When I see a fake, it is a representation of what something could be. So someone trying to pass off their own painting as a monet for example will look, smell and be a monet. Except that it isn't. A fake passport looks and smells like one, but to the trained eye, will not be a passport. If someone is lying, it's just that. Lying. Using the word 'fake' is a buzz word. It's unclear and can be misrepresented. How many times do you see someone say 'He hit me and it hurt and didn't stop when I used my safeword' and people go FAKE!!!!!!!!!! HES A FAKE!!!!!! RUN AWAY!!!!!! - When they should actually be saying 'Well he could have made an honest mistake' OR the more sensible and logical and SAFE option that 'he could be an abuser whom you should report immediately to the authorities because he wouldn't take no for an answer and he might end up raping or killing someone if he doesn't get treatment?' Fake is baned around so loosely and and so irresponsibly that it's losing any validity, which is ironic as it is used to create validity. It's dangerous and totally misused way too often. the.dark.

WyldHrt -> RE: regarding fake doms and wanna bes. (7/17/2009 2:43:32 AM)
Yeah, put the kibosh on it, no one is "fake".... ... so, how long before "Liar" becomes another buzzword, Dark? [:D] Not picking on you personally, but the whole idea of invalidating words because their meaning is ambiguous bothers me. Call it a "buzzword", and dismiss it. I don't get that. If a word is popular enough to be a "buzzword", wouldn't it be better to find at least a loose consensus of the meaning within this venue?

MasterSlaveLA -> RE: regarding fake doms and wanna bes. (7/17/2009 8:36:19 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark quote: ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA quote: ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark MasterSlave LA is claiming the fakeness of people. So to be clear... are you publicly stating there are no "fakes" here on CollarMe, or that the vast majority are as experienced as they say they are? That is... knowing full well anyone can be anything behind their keyboard. I'd like to be clear on this. I do not use that word in BDSM so really, your question has no real answer from me other than I don't use that word. I use it correctly. There are no fakes on collarme BECAUSE the word is pointless... Ah... the Ostrich Defense... "I don't recognize it, so it's not happening". Hint: Pretending to be something you're not is "fake". Let me help you out here by turning to the good old dictionary: fake –verb (used with object) 1. prepare or make (something specious, deceptive, or fraudulent): to fake a report showing nonexistent profits. 2. to conceal the defects of or make appear more attractive, interesting, valuable, etc., usually in order to deceive: The story was faked a bit to make it more sensational. 3. to pretend; simulate: to fake illness. 4. to accomplish by trial and error or by improvising: I don't know the job, but I can fake it. 5. to trick or deceive (an opponent) by making a fake (often fol. by out): The running back faked out the defender with a deft move and scored. 6. Jazz. a. to improvise: to fake an accompaniment. b. to play (music) without reading from a score. –verb (used without object) 7. to fake something; pretend. 8. to give a fake to an opponent. –noun 9. anything made to appear otherwise than it actually is; counterfeit: This diamond necklace is a fake. 10. a person who fakes; faker: The doctor with the reputed cure for cancer proved to be a fake. 11. a spurious report or story. 12. Sports. a simulated play or move intended to deceive an opponent. –adjective 13. designed to deceive or cheat; not real; counterfeit. So whether you choose to place your head in the sand and ignore the obvious matters not. There are "fake" Doms, and my experience is this is true of the majority on kink sites. There are "fake" subs/slaves too... but that's not the topic of this thread, so my answers have been limited to the Toppy side of the slash. Ignore the word "fake" all you want... doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

daintydimples -> RE: regarding fake doms and wanna bes. (7/17/2009 8:45:57 AM)
What is fake is very much a matter of individual perception. Here is an example from my recent email exchanges.: DOMX: Hello, You are really cute, I love your pic. What is your yahoo? What is your phone number? What is your deepest, darkest fantasy? suby: Thank you for the compliments. I'm sorry, I don't feel comfortable giving out that info to a stranger. DOMX: You're not a sub! You're a FAKE!!

MasterSlaveLA -> RE: regarding fake doms and wanna bes. (7/17/2009 8:56:03 AM)
I'll use your example to make my point... quote: ORIGINAL: daintydimples Here is an example from my recent email exchanges.: DOMX: Hello, You are really cute, I love your pic. What is your yahoo? What is your phone number? What is your deepest, darkest fantasy? suby: Thank you for the compliments. I'm sorry, I don't feel comfortable giving out that info to a stranger. DOMX: You're not a sub! You're a FAKE!! This is a classic example of a "fake" Dom... clueless. So just because he checked the Toppy box here on CM, it DOESN'T make him a Dom; just a HNG. People forget that "Dom" is not merely short for "dominant"... There are many dominant vanilla men out there, but that does not make them "Doms" any more than referring to someone who knows about electricity as an "Electrician". The alleged Dom in the above example is clearly a fake; and an idiot to boot.

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