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What would stop you..... - 7/17/2009 11:33:10 AM   
EvilSOB


Posts: 7
Joined: 6/27/2009
Status: offline 		from relplying to a message?

If I was approaching potential submissives with the Kneel Bitch attitude or sending oneliners saying "Message me" I could understand why I wasnt getting any replies... but I dont. I always make sure I have read their profile and message them with a polite, relevant, friendly message with just a touch of my odd humour in for good measures.

The majority if not all of the people I message dont even bother to take a peek at my profile or even reply. So, what is it I am doing wrong?

What would make you hit the delete button without replying?

Thanks !

Evil ;)
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: What would stop you..... - 7/17/2009 11:38:04 AM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline
quote:

What would make you hit the delete button without replying?

Anything...the previous message pissed me off so I just deleted the rest, I had a lousy day at work, my cat just puked on the floor, I just felt like it, didn't like the screenname, the relative position of the sun and the moon....in other words: anything.


_____________________________

Big man! Pig Man!
Ha Ha...Charade you are!

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CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran


(in reply to EvilSOB)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: What would stop you..... - 7/17/2009 11:38:16 AM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		You might want to read this.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_1717756/mpage_1/tm.htm


_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to EvilSOB)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: What would stop you..... - 7/17/2009 11:38:24 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		A letter than shows me they did not read my profile is primary.

Secondary are straight guys that really want to serve a lesbian, especially orally (and they are not talking about good conversation)

Third are people from another country that seem to think I would be so overjoyed at the idea of them serving me, that I will move them into my home and allow them to be my personal maid........all at my expense. And without me having a clue about them.

Forth are guys from another country that want to serve online. The reality is that they cannot serve ME online, unless they have a Amex Black I can use.

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 7/17/2009 11:41:47 AM >

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to EvilSOB)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: What would stop you..... - 7/17/2009 11:46:32 AM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		Cold be any number of resons. Eember a lot of women hwew ger alot of the knee bitch variety and don't want to deal with it. So they just delete all of them

Matt's littleone

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: What would stop you..... - 7/17/2009 11:59:14 AM   
EvilSOB


Posts: 7
Joined: 6/27/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

You might want to read this.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_1717756/mpage_1/tm.htm




I have read that and have followed the advice it contained and still I get no replies. I am not saying *every* woman on here is ignorant but there sure seems a lot of them!

I have sent 80 messages, none of them rude, demanding, too short, too long, too detailed, too anything else... I send a picture with my message (A face shot not a cockshot or any other part of my anatomy!) and don't demand or ask for a photo of them as I realise a lot of people dont like sending them.

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: What would stop you..... - 7/17/2009 12:00:36 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		Post one of your opening letters and you can get comments that are more specific then.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to EvilSOB)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: What would stop you..... - 7/17/2009 12:05:47 PM   
chronos1976


Posts: 23
Joined: 10/12/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littleone35

Cold be any number of resons. Eember a lot of women hwew ger alot of the knee bitch variety and don't want to deal with it. So they just delete all of them

Matt's littleone


What chance has a guy got?

I have a pic on my profile but I have the same problem as OP in that I have mailed about 45 profiles, 8 turned out fake and the rest didn't reply, and didn't look at my profile. I have already used the link in reply 3 to help format my mail too.

Does no one want to chat?

Maybe a sample of a message that someone has replied to would be useful here? I tried changing approaches, but still nothing. Zilch. Zero. Zip. It's kinda disheartening.


_____________________________

You are unique, just like everyone else.

(in reply to littleone35)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: What would stop you..... - 7/17/2009 12:06:10 PM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		Maybe they are not looking? 
I open most email, but I don't necessarily respond.  I get this guy from 100 miles above, and another from 100 miles below me, the first guy I have seen his profile pic on the main page and his beard is hideous.  I am not quite sure how to tell him it turns me off so I don't respond.  The other guy from down below writes me suggesting he come up for the day and we can see what happens.  Umm.. I don't want anything to happen.
If people approached me like a person, not as a sub, AND if they did something that suggested we might have something in common, I might consider answering.
There are many reasons for not responding. 
Kyst
quote:

ORIGINAL: EvilSOB


quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

You might want to read this.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_1717756/mpage_1/tm.htm




I have read that and have followed the advice it contained and still I get no replies. I am not saying *every* woman on here is ignorant but there sure seems a lot of them!

I have sent 80 messages, none of them rude, demanding, too short, too long, too detailed, too anything else... I send a picture with my message (A face shot not a cockshot or any other part of my anatomy!) and don't demand or ask for a photo of them as I realise a lot of people dont like sending them.

(in reply to EvilSOB)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: What would stop you..... - 7/17/2009 12:08:10 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Maybe you guys need to change the type of profiles you are trying to contact. If it is a hot chick in her twenties..........fagetaboutit!

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to EvilSOB)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: What would stop you..... - 7/17/2009 12:30:49 PM   
EvilSOB


Posts: 7
Joined: 6/27/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

Post one of your opening letters and you can get comments that are more specific then.


Ok here are two different ones for you guys to pull apart !

Hi *****

Like your profile I'm an experienced Dom looking for a real 24/7 sub. I like geocaching (ever tried that?) and the outdoors generally, movies (last saw Angels and Demons), most styles of music but listening to gabriella cilmi at the mo,

What sort of things do you like outside the lifestyle?

Hope to hear from you.

Regards,

*****

Or

Hi *****,

I liked your profile and thought I'd say hi. I too am looking for a full time, real life, 24/7 D/s relationship, having had two previous D/s relationships (that were real, not online cyber rubbish, I hate it ).

In normal life, if such a thing exists, I'm a science lecturer at a college who likes to have fun, is honest, caring and open about feelings. I enjoy dining out, cinema, walking, socializing, composing and listening to music.  I could list more but that would be boring. Have a look at my profile if you want to find out a bit more (be warned, it's a bit dull, I need to rewrite it).

What sort of things interest you outside of the life style?

It would be great to know more about you.

Regards,

*****








< Message edited by EvilSOB -- 7/17/2009 12:33:14 PM >

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: What would stop you..... - 7/17/2009 12:32:15 PM   
EvilSOB


Posts: 7
Joined: 6/27/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Maybe you guys need to change the type of profiles you are trying to contact. If it is a hot chick in her twenties..........fagetaboutit!


I contact various different types of women, I am not hunting out only those that are 21 years old with a size 8 figure. Personality is so much more important

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: What would stop you..... - 7/17/2009 12:34:11 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		Your letters are weak, because.... they look cut-and-pasteable.  Make the first line about HER and HER PROFILE.  Something that COULD NOT POSSIBLY BE SENT TO SOMEONE ELSE.

Your response rate will increase.


_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to EvilSOB)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: What would stop you..... - 7/17/2009 12:46:02 PM   
daintydimples


Posts: 967
Joined: 7/6/2009
Status: offline 		You need to try harder to engage the female in actual conversation that may interest her.

We get alot of messages, and sadly the huge majority of the ones I get expect me to carry the conversational ball.

Hope this helps,
dd



(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: What would stop you..... - 7/17/2009 12:51:14 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

Your letters are weak, because.... they look cut-and-pasteable.  Make the first line about HER and HER PROFILE.  Something that COULD NOT POSSIBLY BE SENT TO SOMEONE ELSE.

Your response rate will increase.



Exactly. You've made it all about you.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: What would stop you..... - 7/17/2009 1:15:30 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline 		With me it was more about what would cause me to reply?

I wasn't here to look for a mate.  I was here to read the forums and my profile said, right across the top, that I was not pursuing anything here.  So, to be quite honest, I was bored with the emails that were coming through and didn't reply to them.

One came through though, that caught my attention.  It was intelligent, courteous, had demonstrated that my profile had been read and taken into consideration, and, after reading his profile in return, I felt he deserved a reply.  Because of where I was, mentally, I didn't reply for 3 or 4 days, but I did.  His reply to that continued to hold my interest.

Go figure, several months later, I'm his.  


_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.



(in reply to EvilSOB)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: What would stop you..... - 7/17/2009 1:20:12 PM   
onlyfreelycaged


Posts: 254
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline 		while it's nice to know what you're looking for.. that's what profiles are for.

thoes letters were.. how many people did you send that exact letter to? I'd report it as spam because it's unsolicited mail that looks like it was sent to lots of people.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: What would stop you..... - 7/17/2009 1:38:17 PM   
EvilSOB


Posts: 7
Joined: 6/27/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: onlyfreelycaged

while it's nice to know what you're looking for.. that's what profiles are for.

thoes letters were.. how many people did you send that exact letter to? I'd report it as spam because it's unsolicited mail that looks like it was sent to lots of people.


Those were just last 2 I sent, and whilst they are very similiar I write individually to each person. I don't send a generic message to every and anyone that logs online.

I realise now that they can appear to be cut and pasted notes so I wont be using messages like that again and will find a different approach!

I think because I do a lot of formal writing in my job, my messages do come across too formal.

Ah well, back to the drawing board!

(in reply to onlyfreelycaged)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: What would stop you..... - 7/17/2009 1:47:22 PM   
subtlebutterfly


Posts: 2230
Joined: 6/15/2008
From: Not your hood
Status: offline 		oh god I hate formal emails they make me look all dummy like..uh...how do i respond to that n then I end up almost friggin thee-ing the person


_____________________________

~Ms. Awesomeness to YOU!~

(in reply to EvilSOB)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: What would stop you..... - 7/17/2009 1:51:01 PM   
BeIgnited


Posts: 191
Joined: 6/23/2008
Status: offline 		The questions you ask-- "What sort of things interest you outside of the life style?"-- are vague and give no indication that you've actually read her profile. The first one is better though--it's short and the specifics you include at least provide an "in" for her to start a conversation. I'm not looking, but if I were I'd be unlikely to respond to something like that because the question is so broad that I wouldn't know where to begin and probably wouldn't want to put in the effort of constructing a reply to someone I don't know.

Try something like " I saw you mentioned you like biking in your profile/ have a picture of you biking. Me too. Do you prefer to go on roads or trails?". Basically: Specific thing about her profile + establish common ground + Specific question about Specific Thing. I'd recommend these things not be kink related. Open like this, then talk about you and what you're looking for.

This may be specific to me, but I generally dislike being approached for anything other than conversation initially ( if I were looking), so putting that you're looking for a "24/7 D/s relationship" in the first message would put me off. Not only can that sort of information go in your profile (where she can see it on her own and you can discuss it once mutual interest has been established), but if you were approaching a woman in a bar/bookstore/coffee shop/generic pick-up location, you probably wouldn't start off with "I'm Dave, I'm looking to date someone casually with the possibility of it becoming a long term relationship", right?



(in reply to onlyfreelycaged)
Profile   Post #: 20
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