RE: How to Learn to Tolerate Females Dominated by Men ?

RE: How to Learn to Tolerate Females Dominated by Men ? (Full Version)

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LillyoftheVally -> RE: How to Learn to Tolerate Females Dominated by Men ? (7/30/2009 8:56:40 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Apocalypso Um, Dastan, you do realise that basically you've just told a woman "I don't care whether you think I should be doing this or not. I'm protecting you dammit!" That's a bit inconsistent. Maybe you should just accept you're a misognyist who doesn't respect women apart from as idealised concepts and move on? Yuppers Dastan, I don't want or need to be protected simply because I have a vagina, to be honest there is very little that I want because I have a vagina (if you are wondering what there is then i would have to say tampons is up there - pun most intended) I am not a queen I am a human being, I do not undersation how you don't see that you are patronising by saying we should have you do anything, if we are superior which we aren't then we should be given the right to tell you what we need. I do not need you saying that I am any better than a man on those facts alone because I do not agree. I like to be able to earn respect from people just as I expect others to earn mine.

Arpig -> RE: How to Learn to Tolerate Females Dominated by Men ? (7/30/2009 9:29:57 AM)
quote: Lucky you. My people do not tolerate weakness in an individual when coupled with arrogant stupidity. And yes, one can be racist when one happens to be at the top of the scale used to measure. But in your case, I guess you are no racist, no, you choose to bring up the European gypsies. My people descent from The Expulsion edicts of La Alhambra and Granada in SPain in the end of the 15th century, and we have more than 27 different genomical alleles in our baseline genome, we are more mixed than anyone in the world. GENETRASH means when someone is the low part of the scale, the same you might call those withd efective genes in a pack of animals or a herd, the ones with the wrong mix, but I guess geentics happen to be an issue too far above your intellectual standing and your IQ level. You sir are an ass, an ass of great proportion. You are arrogant and uneducated. Your ideas are as unpalatable as soured milk.

Apocalypso -> RE: How to Learn to Tolerate Females Dominated by Men ? (7/30/2009 9:39:37 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LillyoftheVally I am not a queen I am a human being STOP TALKING. I AM TRYING TO RESPECT YOU AND YOU'RE RUINING IT BY HAVING OPINIONS. [sm=bite.gif]

LillyoftheVally -> RE: How to Learn to Tolerate Females Dominated by Men ? (7/30/2009 10:06:02 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Apocalypso quote: ORIGINAL: LillyoftheVally I am not a queen I am a human being STOP TALKING. I AM TRYING TO RESPECT YOU AND YOU'RE RUINING IT BY HAVING OPINIONS. [sm=bite.gif] Sorry...But...Um...Sorry...Won't happen again...sorry

HeadmasterDavid -> RE: How to Learn to Tolerate Females Dominated by Men ? (7/30/2009 10:08:23 AM)
OK, I admit I tend to read the OP and then skip to the end, notice that the topic has degenerated into name-calling, and then try to add my opinion objectively. Dastan, if I were walking down the street and saw some guy beating up a woman, and if it appeared she needed help, I would be on top of him with such a hailstorm of fury that you can't believe. I too was reared with the concepts of chivalry. That's what makes D/s such a mental activity. You cannot assume that every woman reacts to domination the way you would. It's taken me many years to comprehend what is going on in a sub's head, and that's what I would suggest to you as well. And this is why real D/s is not about what toys you bring to the rack, but what you are doing with your sub's mind by using those toys. Once you can understand that submissives have a deep seated need to feel helpless, or to be hurt, then you can understand that the kindest thing a Dom can do is to satisfy that need. You're not going to be able to understand this by assuming that everybody thinks the way you do. So, hit the Google searches, read what submissives write, listen to what they are actually saying about their feelings when they are being dominated, and explore the mind of the submissive. Visiting a dungeon club will help you understand how to react to the scenes and the various relationships, and will also teach you the proper way to respond when you see something disturbing.

LillyoftheVally -> RE: How to Learn to Tolerate Females Dominated by Men ? (7/30/2009 10:11:13 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: HeadmasterDavid Dastan, if I were walking down the street and saw some guy beating up a woman, and if it appeared she needed help, I would be on top of him with such a hailstorm of fury that you can't believe. I too was reared with the concepts of chivalry. Then the woman turns around and punches you in the fact for interfering. I have heard that happen on many occasion. The whole men shouldn't hit a woman debate is an interesting one, how can it be ok for a woman to hit a man and a man just stand there.

flogger -> RE: How to Learn to Tolerate Females Dominated by Men ? (7/30/2009 10:16:09 AM)
I really get upset when a man submits to a woman. I see it everyweek end young and old and I walk away from the scene. At some point she was the sub/slave next she is spanking his ass black and blue. Bring on the rants, I just can't get into that scene where a woman tops the dude.

LillyoftheVally -> RE: How to Learn to Tolerate Females Dominated by Men ? (7/30/2009 10:34:19 AM)
Wow flogger you actually made me sigh out loud with that comment

Apocalypso -> RE: How to Learn to Tolerate Females Dominated by Men ? (7/30/2009 10:38:07 AM)
Flogger, meet Dastan. Dastan meet Flogger. I hope you have a wonderful life together.

LillyoftheVally -> RE: How to Learn to Tolerate Females Dominated by Men ? (7/30/2009 10:40:46 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Apocalypso Flogger, meet Dastan. Dastan meet Flogger. I hope you have a wonderful life together. "I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship"

Arpig -> RE: How to Learn to Tolerate Females Dominated by Men ? (7/30/2009 11:09:10 PM)
quote: I really get upset when a man submits to a woman. I see it everyweek end young and old and I walk away from the scene. At some point she was the sub/slave next she is spanking his ass black and blue. Bring on the rants, I just can't get into that scene where a woman tops the dude. Know what, I can't get into that scene where a woman tops a dude either, and guess what? I just don't watch, I don't participate, I don't get upset, I don't interfere, I don't try to impose my own personal kinks on them. Its called being an adult.

WyldHrt -> RE: How to Learn to Tolerate Females Dominated by Men ? (7/31/2009 12:28:23 AM)
quote: At some point she was the sub/slave next she is spanking his ass black and blue. Bring on the rants, I just can't get into that scene where a woman tops the dude. Ummm... question. Are you talking about switches, or are you assuming that the domme spanking a male sub's ass black and blue was a sub/slave at some point because she's female? Inquiring minds want to know....

Falkenstein -> RE: How to Learn to Tolerate Females Dominated by Men ? (7/31/2009 4:26:44 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LillyoftheVally Then the woman turns around and punches you in the fact for interfering. I have heard that happen on many occasion. The whole men shouldn't hit a woman debate is an interesting one, how can it be ok for a woman to hit a man and a man just stand there. I confirm, it happens. I once got between a man and a woman, both young in the metro. It was not a good idea. [X(] The original instinct of protecting a woman is one of our deepest instincts and it is a good one!. Furthermore, considering the women to be equal and free is the most important progress in human society. This will get me some flames, but societies that does not hold these beliefs of female equality and freedom are second-class cultures that I deeply despise. Nearer to our shore, I am also very troubled about this Internal Slavery stuff, as I am not yet convinced of its consensuality (But I have not made up my mind yet). There are several contradictions there: Why should I protect a woman if she is my equal? I love to control women, bind, encage, them but would rather die fighting than seeing the Sharia take foot in Switzerland. Am I so troubled of this IS because it reflects deep desires that collide frontally with equally deep moral principle? I am still working on explanations, but the sorriest excuse for an advice is this "do not look if you do no like". The human mind remembers and do not need to see something to know that it exists, and to be disgusted by it. Thus Flogger and Dastan have my comprehension, they, we, need to process it and either come to a tolerant acceptation or fight it. Kinky Regards Henry

Dastan -> RE: How to Learn to Tolerate Females Dominated by Men ? (7/31/2009 7:58:58 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Arpig quote: Lucky you. My people do not tolerate weakness in an individual when coupled with arrogant stupidity. And yes, one can be racist when one happens to be at the top of the scale used to measure. But in your case, I guess you are no racist, no, you choose to bring up the European gypsies. My people descent from The Expulsion edicts of La Alhambra and Granada in SPain in the end of the 15th century, and we have more than 27 different genomical alleles in our baseline genome, we are more mixed than anyone in the world. GENETRASH means when someone is the low part of the scale, the same you might call those withd efective genes in a pack of animals or a herd, the ones with the wrong mix, but I guess geentics happen to be an issue too far above your intellectual standing and your IQ level. You sir are an ass, an ass of great proportion. You are arrogant and uneducated. Your ideas are as unpalatable as soured milk. Then don't palate them. I did not ask you to do so. I have mine you have yours. Luckily we are not competing for merits to be able to show you some things that might get you to understand my point.

Dastan -> RE: How to Learn to Tolerate Females Dominated by Men ? (7/31/2009 8:03:46 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: HeadmasterDavid OK, I admit I tend to read the OP and then skip to the end, notice that the topic has degenerated into name-calling, and then try to add my opinion objectively. Dastan, if I were walking down the street and saw some guy beating up a woman, and if it appeared she needed help, I would be on top of him with such a hailstorm of fury that you can't believe. I too was reared with the concepts of chivalry. That's what makes D/s such a mental activity. You cannot assume that every woman reacts to domination the way you would. It's taken me many years to comprehend what is going on in a sub's head, and that's what I would suggest to you as well. And this is why real D/s is not about what toys you bring to the rack, but what you are doing with your sub's mind by using those toys. Once you can understand that submissives have a deep seated need to feel helpless, or to be hurt, then you can understand that the kindest thing a Dom can do is to satisfy that need. You're not going to be able to understand this by assuming that everybody thinks the way you do. So, hit the Google searches, read what submissives write, listen to what they are actually saying about their feelings when they are being dominated, and explore the mind of the submissive. Visiting a dungeon club will help you understand how to react to the scenes and the various relationships, and will also teach you the proper way to respond when you see something disturbing. Thanks for the advice and yes, the thread has degenerated, as it often happens in the forums. I guess the principles of decay still rule supreme on all fields, LOL. As for: quote: ORIGINAL: HeadmasterDavid Visiting a dungeon club will help you understand how to react to the scenes and the various relationships, and will also teach you the proper way to respond when you see something disturbing. I wish there were dungeons here. My host country is so catholic it's seen as something like having a small penis: something only you and your partner need to know about and fix, not something you write a book on, start a club or support group and turn into a cause for a fundation and all. It's not morally or socially nice here for the BDSm crowd or the LGBT one, we are't stoning someone for that or alienating them, but it's the same as when you know your neighbor is an alcoholic or he may use some pills and drugs. Something condemned and rejected.

Dastan -> RE: How to Learn to Tolerate Females Dominated by Men ? (7/31/2009 8:08:39 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Falkenstein quote: ORIGINAL: LillyoftheVally Then the woman turns around and punches you in the fact for interfering. I have heard that happen on many occasion. The whole men shouldn't hit a woman debate is an interesting one, how can it be ok for a woman to hit a man and a man just stand there. I confirm, it happens. I once got between a man and a woman, both young in the metro. It was not a good idea. [X(] The original instinct of protecting a woman is one of our deepest instincts and it is a good one!. Furthermore, considering the women to be equal and free is the most important progress in human society. This will get me some flames, but societies that does not hold these beliefs of female equality and freedom are second-class cultures that I deeply despise. Nearer to our shore, I am also very troubled about this Internal Slavery stuff, as I am not yet convinced of its consensuality (But I have not made up my mind yet). There are several contradictions there: Why should I protect a woman if she is my equal? I love to control women, bind, encage, them but would rather die fighting than seeing the Sharia take foot in Switzerland. Am I so troubled of this IS because it reflects deep desires that collide frontally with equally deep moral principle? I am still working on explanations, but the sorriest excuse for an advice is this "do not look if you do no like". The human mind remembers and do not need to see something to know that it exists, and to be disgusted by it. Thus Flogger and Dastan have my comprehension, they, we, need to process it and either come to a tolerant acceptation or fight it. Kinky Regards Henry Thank you for your words.....although I kind of want to smack Apocalypso for the comment he made. I am a mirror, and opposite-ended imaged of Flogger, I can't process females submitting, so i understand him, but it's like we agree to disagree or to play opposite sides of the board. It's like Apocalypso, maybe he didn't read the profiles and assumed that liek him, one of us was also gay and all, but I tolerate him because he's got a brain and I respect that. I guess you are right in what you mean about the psychological need of a Female sub to enter a space in which she relinquishes control and thus the Dom has to make her feel helpless. But it's kinda hard anyways. As for die fighting, I respect you. By the way, nice to know someone from Switzerland, we like your country a lot and the CERN guys are always nice and we learn a lot from them here, yours is a cool country with good people, I hope you have a nice week..

OttersSwim -> RE: How to Learn to Tolerate Females Dominated by Men ? (7/31/2009 8:20:23 AM)
I think this is all about -context-. Those that can understand and categorize what they are seeing can understand the difference between a man beating a woman on the street and a man beating a woman in a dungeon...and viceversa...

Andalusite -> RE: How to Learn to Tolerate Females Dominated by Men ? (7/31/2009 8:25:20 AM)
Dastan, I understood that what you said about Sharia was an analogy, but I still found it very offensive, like the PETA quote comparing broiler chickens being killed to the Holocaust. I still feel that that attitude is very condescending and controlling toward women, (you know better than women what they should do and feel, you want a say in how they conduct their sex lives, and you have the NERVE to compare being subjected to the sight of a woman daring to do something you don't want her to do with being imprisoned or killed due to unjust laws).

OttersSwim -> RE: How to Learn to Tolerate Females Dominated by Men ? (7/31/2009 8:33:32 AM)
-Culture- and tradition often provides a powerful filter that is hard to learn to see around or through to come to a different perspective. I wonder if this is not the case here? Culture filters can also make it harder to contextualize the concepts that go against that culture. We see this even here in the U.S. in different geographic regions.

Apocalypso -> RE: How to Learn to Tolerate Females Dominated by Men ? (7/31/2009 11:17:58 AM)
I have to admit to the fact I'm finding the fact you just took a paragraph to tell me how "I'm not gay, you are!", with the obligatory Internet Tough Guy threats, incredibly funny. (Yeah, that doesn't make you look insecure in your masculinity at all). And it's really tempting to start trolling you on this point, just for the hilarity that would ensue. But it's not really the point. I'd suggest you might be better placed actually looking at the point about how you're not treating women like human beings and ignoring them when they tell you anything you don't want to hear. That was kinda more important. It's also the one that's far more difficult for you to address. Because it actually means being honest with yourself and accepting that you're currently doing this for your fantasy and your needs. And actually accepting that maybe your current selfperception isn't in line with the reality of your attitudes. Facing up to that is going to take a lot more courage than posturing about irrelevant sideissues. Hence the fact you've spent the entire thread avoiding directly addressing that point, not just from me, but repeatedly being made to you, often by women. Protip: The comment made about you and Flogger was me trying to bait you, successfully so. (Well, ok, and playing to an audience in general. I never claimed to be a saint). The comment about you being a misogynist was made entirely genuinely and was not an insult. It's an honest description of how I see you currently. I don't think you see yourself as one. Fine. And I could be entirely wrong. But maybe you should actually face the issue face on instead of just writing it off without looking at it. Because I'm guessing you're somebody who wouldn't want to see yourself as somebody who runs away...

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