RE: How to Learn to Tolerate Females Dominated by Men ?

RE: How to Learn to Tolerate Females Dominated by Men ? (Full Version)

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Dastan -> RE: How to Learn to Tolerate Females Dominated by Men ? (8/13/2009 8:54:55 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sweetsub1957 quote: ORIGINAL: Dastan quote: ORIGINAL: XYisInferior quote: ORIGINAL: Dastan quote: ORIGINAL: XYisInferior quote: ORIGINAL: Dastan To not dwell on it, let's say I am lucky it ended a friendship and didn't end me in jail. I just discovered that i am uncapable of seeing women submit to men. Abeit simple, my suggestions are to: a. remove yourself from situations where you'll see things that upset you; and b. work on keeping an open mind about other lifestyles, beliefs, D/s preferences, and so on. There is nothing worth getting violent about what you see and experience, so long as the individuals are consensually involved. Well, yeah, i understand that...but in my defewnse, regarding item "b"....I heard the screams, the words and I didn't know it was a scene and that it was the way she wanted it, so I just busted the door and went a little overboard. I see a girl tied to the bed, a guy in casual clothing without any toys in the room and his dick handing out and I think "rape" if I see the girl in tears sporting some marks and some welts, scratches and bruises. I would say your reaction to protect and defend was a noble one. Since you didn't understand the "scene" was consensual, you reacted as most men would, I'd suspect. That is rather different from having a problem with seeing Women submitting to men consensually, don't you think? I consider that there's a problem because it does make me worry and disgusts me to see such plays. I just don't get it why a man gets off on making a girl kneel and kiss his feet and be his footstool or fetch the slippers like a dog or so, let alone use violence and I think that the reaction was disproportionate because of how the scene impressed me, whjich wouldn't be that extreme if it had not been me. I have been trained to subdue an attacker much faster and easier without such brutality, but they had to pull me away from him after I reduced him, and that's why i think there's a problem fueling it. Well the deal is, OP, if you don't happen to like the way a scene impresses you, LOOK AWAY before you have to get involved with interrupting it. I can tell you right now that, if you were to interrupt a situation between Sir & I, I would be extremely pissed off....at YOU. About that time I would be acting very UNsubmissive toward you and chewing you out. I happen to enjoy being submissive to my Man. At times I find it hard to see what others do, but to each their own. As long as it's not against the law, I say "count me out, but go for it if you want to." Respect others' right to indulge their kinks that are different than yours withOUT judging them. An open mind is a good thing. If you are "uncapable of seeing women submit to men," i will say once again, JUST DON'T LOOK. TURN AWAY. If it's a consensual situation, it's NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS and your getting involved is unwanted meddling and interference.....unwanted by BOTH parties involved. I just don't understand why, after six pages, YOU still don't "get it." The fact that you are a Lady certainly is saving you from an honest answer in the terms I should give it, but allow me to explain what you and loki can't seem to get. I am aware I have a problem and I am overcoming it, 6 pages of wisdom and 3 weeks later. It seems you didn't follow the thread to notice it. I just explained the circumstances of the problem when i interrupted that scene, and I do worry that the fact I jumped the gun so fast was that the scene impressed me too much, but it's not liek I'd see you and this "master" of yours and beat the crap out of him for ordering you around, I'd look away, I'd feel disgusted like a black man at a KKK party but I'd simply leave you alone if you do the same, yet you can bet i'll be ready to help when a cry for help is real and you need someone to aid you and rescue you. That said, just stay on track and read back, it is said wisdom comes from past experiences and future desires, but it seems that time and the thread have flown by you without leaving you much of the information to generate an opinion. Next tiem somebody needs to flame me, at least have the decency to read back, see the context and if there's a problem understanding the chronology of the events and the evolution of the postings, I'd be happy to draw you a map if that gets you to understand, otherwise do not attack me without being sure you won't be defeated in the retaliatory argument

sweetsub1957 -> RE: How to Learn to Tolerate Females Dominated by Men ? (8/13/2009 9:18:04 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Dastan quote: ORIGINAL: Loki45 quote: ORIGINAL: Dastan I consider that there's a problem because it does make me worry and disgusts me to see such plays. I just don't get it why a man gets off on making a girl kneel and kiss his feet and be his footstool or fetch the slippers like a dog or so, let alone use violence and I think that the reaction was disproportionate because of how the scene impressed me, whjich wouldn't be that extreme if it had not been me. I have been trained to subdue an attacker much faster and easier without such brutality, but they had to pull me away from him after I reduced him, and that's why i think there's a problem fueling it. After 6 pages and you still not 'getting it,' I would suggest you leave the lifestyle. Then you won't be at any parties where you can interrupt a scene and it won't be a 'problem' for you to see. I think you haven't yet started to get it yourself Loki..but I guess it is wise to forgive and forget ignorance or at least an omission. And you certainly didn't seem to read well into my words, i suggest you leave the thread if you can't follow it. Ignorance!? Oh c'mon now. Have you ever stopped to think that maybe the female submissives in question in scenes like that like to be treated that way? What makes that so different than the "lowly worm" mentality of some male submissives.....who enjoy being treated like lowly worm nothings? To each their own. I can't imagine wanting to be treated like a lowly worm, but so what? If they want to be, I say go right ahead and suck it up, man. Their kinks are not my business & those treat-me-like-a-dog, boot-licking females' kinks are not yours or mine either. quote: ORIGINAL: Dastan [It seems you didn't follow the thread to notice it. Okay. To each their own opinion. Now, you don't have to treat me any different than you'd treat a man, because I call bullshit on your saying I haven't followed the thread. I have followed this entire thread from beginning to it's present ending point this far. I can see that you are trying to work things out in your own mind, but you still keep trying to convince the rest of us how horrible female submission is...it's no worse than male submission. ~edited for spelling~

Lashra -> RE: How to Learn to Tolerate Females Dominated by Men ? (8/13/2009 11:38:05 AM)
I admit when I was much younger I had a really hard time understanding why a woman would want to be submissive to a man. I was Dominant and being submissive was so foreign to me that I simply could not understand it. As I have aged I have found some wisdom. This is what I have learned over the years and I will share it with you. Everyone is an individual we do not always fit into the roles that society has laid before us as "normal". If I am happy with myself being Dominant then why should I judge another woman for being submissive. As long as we both are happy following our own paths then no one should have a problem with it. When it comes down to it you have a life, live it on your own terms, be happy and just do not care what other people think. That is how I live and I am very happy with myself, my family and my relationship with my sub. ~Lashra

Andalusite -> RE: How to Learn to Tolerate Females Dominated by Men ? (8/14/2009 7:52:14 AM)
Dastan, you specifically said earlier that you were physically violent with the Dominant man in your OP. You've also said since that watching women submit makes you feel violent toward their partners. If you are having that much struggle controlling yourself, I think it's a bad idea for you to attend public playparties or otherwise deliberately be around public BDSM play. That kind of behaviour, or getting angry and with that body language, even if you don't follow through, is likely to get you kicked out.

CaringandReal -> RE: How to Learn to Tolerate Females Dominated by Men ? (8/14/2009 8:13:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sweetsub1957 Ignorance!? Oh c'mon now. Have you ever stopped to think that maybe the female submissives in question in scenes like that like to be treated that way? What makes that so different than the "lowly worm" mentality of some male submissives.....who enjoy being treated like lowly worm nothings? To each their own. I can't imagine wanting to be treated like a lowly worm, but so what? If they want to be, I say go right ahead and suck it up, man. Their kinks are not my business & those treat-me-like-a-dog, boot-licking females' kinks are not yours or mine either. Lowly worm? Hmm... that sounds...rather nice. :) Err, maybe I shouldn't be admitting to that! :D Actually I don't have the plumbing to be a lowly worm. But I do my kegels regularly so guess I could be a lowly sea anenome! :p I can't believe this thread is still going on. But I'm glad that male subs who are so sexist and disrespectful of women's choices tend to be in the minority. You know, with the way they objectify women and see them as vessels to fulfill only THEIR desires (and never thinking of the woman's), these guys must make really terrible subs.

sweetsub1957 -> RE: How to Learn to Tolerate Females Dominated by Men ? (8/14/2009 9:44:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CaringandReal Lowly worm? Hmm... that sounds...rather nice. :) Err, maybe I shouldn't be admitting to that! :D Actually I don't have the plumbing to be a lowly worm. But I do my kegels regularly so guess I could be a lowly sea anenome! :p I can't believe this thread is still going on. But I'm glad that male subs who are so sexist and disrespectful of women's choices tend to be in the minority. You know, with the way they objectify women and see them as vessels to fulfill only THEIR desires (and never thinking of the woman's), these guys must make really terrible subs. I can't believe it's still going on either! The OP insists that "I am aware I have a problem and I am overcoming it, 6 pages of wisdom and 3 weeks later," yet he's still insisting that we are all wrong to more or less tell him to MYOB. If he realizes he has "a problem" you'd think he'd give up trying to convince us all that such closed-minded intolerance is a good thing, yet he continues on. And I agree, they must be terrible subs.....those "do-me subs" that we hear so much about. [;)]

LillyoftheVally -> RE: How to Learn to Tolerate Females Dominated by Men ? (8/15/2009 4:00:10 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Dastan quote: After 6 pages and you still not 'getting it,' I would suggest you leave the lifestyle. Then you won't be at any parties where you can interrupt a scene and it won't be a 'problem' for you to see. I think you haven't yet started to get it yourself Loki..but I guess it is wise to forgive and forget ignorance or at least an omission. And you certainly didn't seem to read well into my words, i suggest you leave the thread if you can't follow it. Actually to me this is almost good advice, you do not have to leave the 'lifestyle' but maybe leave the 'scene' you do not have to witness this if it worries you so much, and to be fair if your attitude is as pronounced in real life as it is on here you could deeply offend people as well as getting yourself into trouble. My suggestion is as Loki said, avoid these environments as much as possible.

Dastan -> RE: How to Learn to Tolerate Females Dominated by Men ? (8/16/2009 2:07:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lashra I admit when I was much younger I had a really hard time understanding why a woman would want to be submissive to a man. I was Dominant and being submissive was so foreign to me that I simply could not understand it. As I have aged I have found some wisdom. This is what I have learned over the years and I will share it with you. Everyone is an individual we do not always fit into the roles that society has laid before us as "normal". If I am happy with myself being Dominant then why should I judge another woman for being submissive. As long as we both are happy following our own paths then no one should have a problem with it. When it comes down to it you have a life, live it on your own terms, be happy and just do not care what other people think. That is how I live and I am very happy with myself, my family and my relationship with my sub. ~Lashra Thank you for your kind and honest words and the wisdom shared, I hope I can grow wiser too...

Dastan -> RE: How to Learn to Tolerate Females Dominated by Men ? (8/16/2009 2:09:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Andalusite Dastan, you specifically said earlier that you were physically violent with the Dominant man in your OP. You've also said since that watching women submit makes you feel violent toward their partners. If you are having that much struggle controlling yourself, I think it's a bad idea for you to attend public playparties or otherwise deliberately be around public BDSM play. That kind of behaviour, or getting angry and with that body language, even if you don't follow through, is likely to get you kicked out. I guess I should stay apart until i learn to control it....to describe it better, it is the same as if I was watching a guy sitting on the table next to me insult his wife and grab her, pull her and handle her harshly until he aims to slap her and by that point, I'm callin him to stop or go outside with me. That's the way i feel, so I do consider your advise to stay away from it..

Dastan -> RE: How to Learn to Tolerate Females Dominated by Men ? (8/16/2009 2:10:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LillyoftheVally quote: ORIGINAL: Dastan quote: After 6 pages and you still not 'getting it,' I would suggest you leave the lifestyle. Then you won't be at any parties where you can interrupt a scene and it won't be a 'problem' for you to see. I think you haven't yet started to get it yourself Loki..but I guess it is wise to forgive and forget ignorance or at least an omission. And you certainly didn't seem to read well into my words, i suggest you leave the thread if you can't follow it. Actually to me this is almost good advice, you do not have to leave the 'lifestyle' but maybe leave the 'scene' you do not have to witness this if it worries you so much, and to be fair if your attitude is as pronounced in real life as it is on here you could deeply offend people as well as getting yourself into trouble. My suggestion is as Loki said, avoid these environments as much as possible. Well, truth is, now that I read a little more, it does seem like a good idea to stay on the lifestyle but just to not leave my corner or cross, nor get too close to the dividing line. Thank you for being patient with me.

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