RE: If you don't respond to all your email you are RUDE

RE: If you don't respond to all your email you are RUDE (Full Version)

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TurboJugend -> RE: If you don't respond to all your email you are RUDE (7/25/2009 3:01:36 PM)
true..have to agree with that but stil they are people well....different people different opinions.....we had so many threads about this.....at least we didn't fight :P

GreedyTop -> RE: If you don't respond to all your email you are RUDE (7/25/2009 3:05:04 PM)
I just had an email from some alleged 21 yr old student in Ghana sending me his yahoo address, wanting me to add him to my friends. This is someone who never looked at my profile. Should I have responded? No. (A) I'm not looking (B) We've never had any interactions here on the forums (which it plainly says in my profile I want before I add someone to my friend list) (C) it was totally unsolicited.

SirLost -> RE: If you don't respond to all your email you are RUDE (7/25/2009 3:06:40 PM)
Junk/spam mails from computers and unwanted mails from some real people has something in common: Their algorithm. The artificial intelligence that sends you spam mails collects e-mail addresses that should belong to real people and then sends mass advertising mails to these addresses. People that sends copy+pasted mails to any people seen those may supply what's needed, without having look at their profiles and what they seek for. It reminds of that AI algorithm whenever I receive those mails from scammers, despite me making it clear I amn't going to give anyone money. Yeah, it got slightly offtopic, but I had to add.

Rule -> RE: If you don't respond to all your email you are RUDE (7/25/2009 3:10:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AAkasha Julie called me up and asked if there was a better way. What do you think? Inactivate her profile. Happily, I hardly get any mail, but today I have got another problem: someone with a cute photograph and an inactivated profile sent me a very short message: "hello". What should I do?

gobsmack -> RE: If you don't respond to all your email you are RUDE (7/25/2009 3:13:31 PM)
She can download all messages to her email account and read them there. She'll get one big email containing all the messages. Then come back and reply to the ones that she is interested in. All the others will be shown as unread.

CalifChick -> RE: If you don't respond to all your email you are RUDE (7/25/2009 3:13:31 PM)
I guess I missed the point. I thought the point was to show how ridiculous it is to try to answer every single email received... for those people who say "it's rude not to answer every email, even if just to say 'not interested'." I mean, that WASN'T the point? Cali

SirLost -> RE: If you don't respond to all your email you are RUDE (7/25/2009 3:17:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Rule quote: ORIGINAL: AAkasha Julie called me up and asked if there was a better way. What do you think? Inactivate her profile. Happily, I hardly get any mail, but today I have got another problem: someone with a cute photograph and an inactivated profile sent me a very short message: "hello". What should I do? That's the worst solution. It must be a pity as there's not any way to contact her again, but it's also her fault if she inactivates her profile without having a change to be responded. Not to forget the probability of her to be a scammer, cute photographs and one-lines/copy+pastes are signatures of them.

TurboJugend -> RE: If you don't respond to all your email you are RUDE (7/25/2009 3:20:48 PM)
D. ofcourse I am poly

LillyoftheVally -> RE: If you don't respond to all your email you are RUDE (7/25/2009 3:21:34 PM)
Heres the thing The people who complain that people dont reply are mostly men, the people who dont reply are mostly women. If men got as many messages as most women do then it wouldnt be an issue if some didnt reply. I set up this account the other day, I had a blank profile, I have 4 pages of messages already, its mental!

Missokyst -> RE: If you don't respond to all your email you are RUDE (7/25/2009 3:28:01 PM)
WHEW... I thought I was the only one that saw it. For petes sake, its not rude not to answer every freakin piece of unsolicited mail. Just as it is not rude to send mail to people you don't know. Why is it ok for people to have the right to send out mail and not ok for others to decline answering? Kyst quote: ORIGINAL: CalifChick I guess I missed the point. I thought the point was to show how ridiculous it is to try to answer every single email received... for those people who say "it's rude not to answer every email, even if just to say 'not interested'." I mean, that WASN'T the point? Cali

DemonKia -> RE: If you don't respond to all your email you are RUDE (7/25/2009 3:29:35 PM)
FR, after read thru Nice job, Aakasha, on demonstrating the dilemma of trying to meet some kind of 'being polite' expectation against the reality of how it actually shakes out . . . . . Judging by some of the responses on this thread, apparently you were maybe a little subtle about your point, lol .. . . . . Anyways. I started using form letters quite soon after I got on here, which helps to reduce the time used up in all those 'not appropriate' replies . . .. . & these days, I'm loving on my very lengthy profile, cuz it's turning out to be the best filter in the world, for me . . . . I always check the 'who's viewed full profile' before I check my email. Almost invariably (& outside of posters to these boards), if they've pulled the full profile they don't contact me; & those who contact me rarely have bothered to pull the full profile. So, this is what those persons (who've not viewed the full profile & contacted me) get: Thanks for contacting me . . . . . I prefer that people read my profile & determine for themselves whether there's compatibility, & then start communicating with me . . . . I hope you find all you seek . . . . Best, The Demon, Kia Don't think I've gotten any communication back, yet . . . . . & I send it out to everyone, the one-word emails, the one-liners, the form letters, the presumably scammerish . . . . . . Don't even get nasty replies to it . . . . . Usually it doesn't even get my full profile viewed, tho' it occasionally does . .. . .

TickledToDeath -> RE: If you don't respond to all your email you are RUDE (7/25/2009 3:45:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LillyoftheVally Heres the thing The people who complain that people dont reply are mostly men, the people who dont reply are mostly women. If men got as many messages as most women do then it wouldnt be an issue if some didnt reply. I set up this account the other day, I had a blank profile, I have 4 pages of messages already, its mental! Ah THERE I totally agree. I have seen it plenty of times and even on message boards and in chat rooms where when women enter a chat room they are bombarded with PMs from every desperate male in the room who are on them like a pack of hungry wolves on a slab of raw beef! Therein I can most certainly see gals placing half of the men on ignore and totally disregarding every attempt. I am sure their emails are near full, well maybe not now with all the GB space but nevertheless totally understandable in that respect. TTD

Padriag -> RE: If you don't respond to all your email you are RUDE (7/25/2009 4:54:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AAkasha Julie called me up and asked if there was a better way. What do you think? Unfortunately I don't see any perfect solutions. I see the issue from both sides. Many women are overwhelmed with the shear volume of email they get. Its not that using the automatic "no thank you" reply button is the problem, its that reading all the emails is very time consuming. Between the rude emails and/or the ones from the weirdo's... I can see how many women would just give up and delete them all. On the other end, you have those guys who write genuine, thoughtful, personal letters... and get no response or find their letters deleted unread. Very frustrating for them too. It becomes tempting for them to use the much maligned "form letter" because after having taken the time to write to several women personal letters... they begin to feel, understandably, that their time is wasted. In other words, it sucks on both sides. Even some of the women I know on here as friends, don't always reply when I write them. Its annoying, but what can you do? To my thinking the problem is the system itself. We have trolls who are freely able to mass mail every woman who pops up on the new member list... a feature I really wish CM would do away with... it invites trolls. Reporting emails as spam, etc. often seems to get little or no response. I once suggested that CM charge 10 cents per email sent. That would eliminate the mass spams from trolls overnight (I very much doubt the trolls are going to spend $20 a day to send out 200 form letters a day). But that idea was promptly shot down by all those who complained they don't want to have to pay 10 cents to email their friends on here (so you can't exchange normal email addresses and email each other that way?). It seems that's pretty much the case with every other possible change... no one wants to be inconvienenced. Personally, I've all but given up on meeting anyone through this site. I took down my profile months ago with the intent of reworking it, but I've never finished because most of the time I wonder what the point is. Most of it seems like a very frustrating catch 22 any way you slice it.

Apocalypso -> RE: If you don't respond to all your email you are RUDE (7/25/2009 5:21:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Padriag On the other end, you have those guys who write genuine, thoughtful, personal letters... and get no response or find their letters deleted unread. Um, how? I'm genuinely confused by this. I've only ever had a small handful deleted unread (probably by people with filters I suspect). And I'm not saying I get responses to all mail, but easily over half I do. Are they writing these "genuine, thoughtful, personal" letters to any female with a compatible BDSM orientation, or is there a factor I'm not aware of.

Padriag -> RE: If you don't respond to all your email you are RUDE (7/25/2009 5:50:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Apocalypso quote: ORIGINAL: Padriag On the other end, you have those guys who write genuine, thoughtful, personal letters... and get no response or find their letters deleted unread. Um, how? I'm genuinely confused by this. Perhaps because you haven't been paying attention? Or maybe because you've just got really low standards? Dumb luck on your part? Or maybe you're making things up? This sort of thread comes up repeatedly and there are common themes that emerge in all of them. One is, women, particularly if they have an attractive picture, get a lot of email. Another is that women frequently delete a lot of email unread. If it weren't against TOS I'd happily list the profiles of a dozen women who state in their profile that they've just deleted ALL their email unread out of frustration... and none of those journal entries would be more than 2 wks old. Or how about the several women who have commented in this thread alone that they don't read, much less respond, to all their email... and one or two that commented about just deleting everything. quote: Are they writing these "genuine, thoughtful, personal" letters to any female with a compatible BDSM orientation, or is there a factor I'm not aware of. I'd say there's apparently a lot you aren't aware of. Like how arrogant your response sounded. Just because you've been fortunate to get as many replies as you have doesn't mean your singular experience is in any way exemplorary of anyone elses. If you were paying attention to the number of threads that come up of men asking why they don't get responses... and that not all of them are jerks, assholes, trolls, etc. you might get a clue that simply writing a nice letter isn't guarantee of squat. Again, take a look at the large number of women's profiles insisting that if you don't sent a photo with your email, it will be deleted unread. You could write the nicest letter in the world, but if you don't have a photo to go with it... forget it (and if cmail screws up and doesn't attach the photo, which does happen... ). I know several dominant men on here, in addition to myself, who have all had the same experience of writing letters to the profiles of women and finding them deleted unread or read but never acknowledged. And no, its not simply writing to just anyone... all of these dominant men I've spoken with are fairly selective; we all look for submissive women with well written profiles, some indication they have a functioning brain and some self respect, and a variety of other traits. Only to find many of these supposed intelligent, thoughtful, polite ladies don't have the time to write even a simple thank you note to a letter that may have taken us a half hour or more to compose including the time spent reading their profile and any journal entries. Good for you you have such a high success rate. How about instead of making an snide remark you illuminate us all with your magic method. Assuming such exists.

Apocalypso -> RE: If you don't respond to all your email you are RUDE (7/25/2009 6:15:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Padriag Perhaps because you haven't been paying attention? Or maybe because you've just got really low standards? Dumb luck on your part? Or maybe you're making things up? Wait. Are we talking about people who sometimes don't get replies or who never get replies? If the former, suck it up. If the latter, possibly that's a sign they're doing something wrong. quote: This sort of thread comes up repeatedly and there are common themes that emerge in all of them. One is, women, particularly if they have an attractive picture, get a lot of email. Another is that women frequently delete a lot of email unread. If it weren't against TOS I'd happily list the profiles of a dozen women who state in their profile that they've just deleted ALL their email unread out of frustration... and none of those journal entries would be more than 2 wks old. Or how about the several women who have commented in this thread alone that they don't read, much less respond, to all their email... and one or two that commented about just deleting everything. That explains why some replies don't get written. Not why somebody gets very few or no replies at all. quote: I'd say there's apparently a lot you aren't aware of. Like how arrogant your response sounded. Just because you've been fortunate to get as many replies as you have doesn't mean your singular experience is in any way exemplorary of anyone elses. I'm aware of that, I merely don't care. Easy mistake to make. I don't feel the need to mollycoddle people who are oversensitive about their lack of responses. Although, actually, it would have been far more arrogant to assume this was because of some special quality on my part as opposed to asking why other people didn't have this experience. quote: If you were paying attention to the number of threads that come up of men asking why they don't get responses... and that not all of them are jerks, assholes, trolls, etc. you might get a clue that simply writing a nice letter isn't guarantee of squat. I didn't claim it was a "guarantee". If somebody thinks they're entiled to a reply because they write a "nice letter", then it's their own fault. These women are strangers. They don't owe you anything. quote: Again, take a look at the large number of women's profiles insisting that if you don't sent a photo with your email, it will be deleted unread. So send a photo. That was easy.Yes, you might get the occasional technical fault. So mention in your mail you sent a photo. quote: I know several dominant men on here, in addition to myself, who have all had the same experience of writing letters to the profiles of women and finding them deleted unread or read but never acknowledged. All of them? That suggests your approach needs looking at because it's not working. quote: Only to find many of these supposed intelligent, thoughtful, polite ladies don't have the time to write even a simple thank you note to a letter that may have taken us a half hour or more to compose including the time spent reading their profile and any journal entries. Yeah, they don't know you. They aren't your friends yet. And if writing mail seems like a chore stop doing it for a bit. You're taking the net too seriously if that's the case. quote: Good for you you have such a high success rate. How about instead of making an snide remark you illuminate us all with your magic method. Assuming such exists. As you asked so nicely. Don't write in the expectation of a reply. That way getting one is nice, as opposed to not getting one being the cause of emoness. Fire off a mail and then forget about it. If you have the willpower, don't even check if it's been read or not. It doesn't matter. Spellcheck, yo. (That wouldn't seem to be an issue for you, but I suspect it is for some). Have a damn good, specific reason for writing to anybody you choose to. Default to not writing to women unless given reason by their profile to do otherwise. I'm saying that, on average, if you're writing more than one mail a week you're probably writing too many. At least if you want to go for the targetted approach. Scattergun is fine if that's your thing, but accept it's likely to lead to a smaller percentage of replies. Don't make whiny journal posts about not getting replies, fakes or anything else that's going to make you look really unappealing. Don't take it so seriously. It's the Interwebs. It's not serious in any way unless you've actually started to have a proper conversation with someone. Be more like me. Because I'm obviously awesome, as you acknowledged earlier. Maybe dye your hair blue?

LillyoftheVally -> RE: If you don't respond to all your email you are RUDE (7/25/2009 6:22:43 PM)
I have to say, that I do reply to some messages, the ones I generally don't are cut and paste ones I find them rather lazy. But recently I have written no ta more than anything else. The thing is though that if as a bloke you get a message from a woman (apart from the random scams) they will be people who are actually interested in you, 99% of messages I get are from people who want to get a leg over, pure and simple. I have to say that Apocalypso made some really valid points with his bullets, especially the moaning journal part, that drives me up the wall. I have had heartfelt messages, you know a few sizable paragraphs but that completely ignore my profile or who totally don't appeal to me. It has been said before and it will be said again, no response is a response.

loverly -> RE: If you don't respond to all your email you are RUDE (7/25/2009 6:29:42 PM)
i am unfailingly polite.. and nice all the time, responding to all email i recieve..... except .. if there is a blantant show of disrespect.. ignorance..fakery...they mention money and or accounts or are from some country i am not even sure where it is.. and some i do know where they are but ..well.. as if.. i do not Really believe my "Prince" is out there lurking in some foreign land.. i do however believe that first impressions matter weather you are intentionally making one or not and so i act accordingly. You never reallly know if This One is Him! lol

RedMagic1 -> RE: If you don't respond to all your email you are RUDE (7/25/2009 6:33:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Apocalypso Don't write in the expectation of a reply. That way getting one is nice, as opposed to not getting one being the cause of emoness. Fire off a mail and then forget about it. If you have the willpower, don't even check if it's been read or not. It doesn't matter. Spellcheck, yo. (That wouldn't seem to be an issue for you, but I suspect it is for some). Have a damn good, specific reason for writing to anybody you choose to. Default to not writing to women unless given reason by their profile to do otherwise. I'm saying that, on average, if you're writing more than one mail a week you're probably writing too many. At least if you want to go for the targetted approach. Scattergun is fine if that's your thing, but accept it's likely to lead to a smaller percentage of replies. Don't make whiny journal posts about not getting replies, fakes or anything else that's going to make you look really unappealing. Don't take it so seriously. It's the Interwebs. It's not serious in any way unless you've actually started to have a proper conversation with someone. I agree with this.

daintydimples -> RE: If you don't respond to all your email you are RUDE (7/25/2009 6:34:52 PM)
Oh my, julie sounds like me when I first started here. I was going to answer every message. This was before I realized I'd be getting a hundred messages per day or more. It's been an eye opener for me, really. I admire those men who can bear up to what must be a tremendous amount of rejection. As an aside, I ignore many messages for no other reason than the sender expected me to carry the conversational ball, and with the number of messages I get, I just can't do that. It's been a couple weeks, it's slowed down to 30-50 a day, which is a bit more manageable. I still do not answer every one. Do I think that is rude? Yes. But I discovered a good 90% of the messages I received were from people who didn't read my profile or just wanted wanking fodder. I have better things to do with my time.

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