|
Padriag -> RE: If you don't respond to all your email you are RUDE (7/25/2009 8:53:41 PM)
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: Apocalypso
quote:
ORIGINAL: Padriag
Perhaps because you haven't been paying attention? Or maybe because you've just got really low standards? Dumb luck on your part? Or maybe you're making things up?
Wait. Are we talking about people who sometimes don't get replies or who never get replies? If the former, suck it up. If the latter, possibly that's a sign they're doing something wrong.
We're talking about individuals who don't get the 50% response you claim. Again, try to pay attention and follow along.
quote:
quote:
This sort of thread comes up repeatedly and there are common themes that emerge in all of them. One is, women, particularly if they have an attractive picture, get a lot of email. Another is that women frequently delete a lot of email unread. If it weren't against TOS I'd happily list the profiles of a dozen women who state in their profile that they've just deleted ALL their email unread out of frustration... and none of those journal entries would be more than 2 wks old. Or how about the several women who have commented in this thread alone that they don't read, much less respond, to all their email... and one or two that commented about just deleting everything.
That explains why some replies don't get written. Not why somebody gets very few or no replies at all.
Maybe it doesn't explain it to you... but then again, maybe the explanation is your claims to a 50% success rate are either a fabrication or the result of someone who habitually writes to the desparate and lonely.
quote:
I'd say there's apparently a lot you aren't aware of. Like how arrogant your response sounded. Just because you've been fortunate to get as many replies as you have doesn't mean your singular experience is in any way exemplorary of anyone elses.
quote:
I'm aware of that, I merely don't care.
Interesting, if you don't care, then why did you ask. Seems you had other motives here than contributing something constructive to the discussion.
quote:
I don't feel the need to mollycoddle people who are oversensitive about their lack of responses
No one asked you to. Nor is anyone being oversensitive about the frequently low response rate. What most of us are doing is trying to have a discussion about why that occurs, what drives the reactions of people on both sides of the problem. You however, just seem to want to argue.
quote:
Although, actually, it would have been far more arrogant to assume this was because of some special quality on my part as opposed to asking why other people didn't have this experience.
Curious considering your post very much implied you assumed everyone else should be having the same experience you claim. You didn't ask because you wanted an answer, you made the post because you felt like looking down your nose at someone. The answer to your question was already there in my original post. But as you say, you clearly don't care about that.
quote:
quote:
If you were paying attention to the number of threads that come up of men asking why they don't get responses... and that not all of them are jerks, assholes, trolls, etc. you might get a clue that simply writing a nice letter isn't guarantee of squat.
I didn't claim it was a "guarantee". If somebody thinks they're entiled to a reply because they write a "nice letter", then it's their own fault. These women are strangers. They don't owe you anything.
And your point? After all, you're the one suggesting that if all these individuals really did write nice letters, they ought to be having that 50%+ success rate you claim. Here, however, you seem to be finally admitting reality... that as I stated in my first post, writing a nice letter doesn't mean you will get any response at all. And I explained why in my original post which apparently you didn't bother to really read.
quote:
quote:
Again, take a look at the large number of women's profiles insisting that if you don't sent a photo with your email, it will be deleted unread.
So send a photo. That was easy.Yes, you might get the occasional technical fault. So mention in your mail you sent a photo.
Wow... amazing... why didn't I and all these other gentlemen think of that? But then we did. It still doesn't resolve the issue, just ask the ladies how many vulgar pictures they get of dicks. And the reaction again is predictable as the cycle continues, some lass gets the 10th dick shot that morning, gets frustrated and hits "delete all"... and Mr Nice, who's letter was unlucky number 11 never gets read. The comment was an observation on the ongoing evolution of the problem, and one specific response by some ladies to attempt to cope with it (and in this an observation on how it still hasn't resolved the issue). Again, you appear to have no other motive here than to take cheap shots at others, so much so you failed to recognize that simple fact. Or more likely, as you say... you don't care... rather what you do care about is finding opportunity to snarky and unconstructive remarks.
quote:
quote:
I know several dominant men on here, in addition to myself, who have all had the same experience of writing letters to the profiles of women and finding them deleted unread or read but never acknowledged.
All of them? That suggests your approach needs looking at because it's not working.
You have a reading comprehension problem don't you? Let me try to spell this out more clearly... I'll type slowly for you.
Many.... of... our.... letters.... get... deleted... UNREAD. Emphasis on that last word because its rather important to the point. Approach is immaterial if the letter was never read. Many letters* get deleted unread because the ladies get overwhelmed and hit "delete all" out of frustration. They get frustrated because they get more email than they have time to read and there is no method for them to sort out the nice letters from the garbage. Because writing nice letters is infrequently rewarded, many men are tempted to give up, meaning the ladies get fewer nice letters. Its a vicious and unfortunate cycle.
*(NOTE: I said, many, not all... have never said all letters, only some letters... an unspecified percentage. Again, just trying to help you out with your reading comprehension problem)
quote:
quote:
Only to find many of these supposed intelligent, thoughtful, polite ladies don't have the time to write even a simple thank you note to a letter that may have taken us a half hour or more to compose including the time spent reading their profile and any journal entries.
Yeah, they don't know you. They aren't your friends yet. And if writing mail seems like a chore stop doing it for a bit. You're taking the net too seriously if that's the case.
And you enjoy criticizing others far too much. More to the point you seem to delight in making snippy lil attacks at me. Is it just cause you're that jealous of my dashing good looks?
See, I just don't buy into your claims of being so charming with the ladies. Not when what I see in your profile doesn't match your claims. Not when I see someone spend several journal entries complaining about getting emails from fakes, or from people with fake sounding nicks, or a variety of other things. Your talk doesn't match your walk. That makes you seem very much like someone trying to puff himself up and look better than he is... but your shit still stinks, and worse by the minute.
quote:
As you asked so nicely.
- Don't write in the expectation of a reply. That way getting one is nice, as opposed to not getting one being the cause of emoness.
- Fire off a mail and then forget about it. If you have the willpower, don't even check if it's been read or not. It doesn't matter.
- Spellcheck, yo. (That wouldn't seem to be an issue for you, but I suspect it is for some).
- Have a damn good, specific reason for writing to anybody you choose to. Default to not writing to women unless given reason by their profile to do otherwise. I'm saying that, on average, if you're writing more than one mail a week you're probably writing too many. At least if you want to go for the targetted approach. Scattergun is fine if that's your thing, but accept it's likely to lead to a smaller percentage of replies.
- Don't make whiny journal posts about not getting replies, fakes or anything else that's going to make you look really unappealing.
- Don't take it so seriously. It's the Interwebs. It's not serious in any way unless you've actually started to have a proper conversation with someone.
- Be more like me. Because I'm obviously awesome, as you acknowledged earlier. Maybe dye your hair blue?
Here's a news flash, since you still aren't paying attention. Many of us do all those things and more. But what I find hilarious is that you don't even live up to your own advice. Having looked at your profile I find journal entries full of vulgarity, complaints about submissives and laundry lists of who shouldn't contact you. Several of your journal entries sound like a domineering asshole with a bad temper and no patience. Maybe you should take your own advice about not making yourself look so unappealing. And trust me, you aren't awesome either. What you apparently are is rude and condescending with a penchant for taking an opportunity to make cheap shots at someone else. There's a few other flaws with your advice.
Everyone who writes to someone with some with the goal of making a new friend or acquaintance does so with the expectation of a reply. If someone didn't want to hear back from them, they wouldn't have written them in the first place (much less taken the time to write a thoughtful letter). Doesn't take a genius to figure that out... but then again, you're clearly no genius. I very much doubt any of these ladies want email from someone who doesn't give a damn whether they hear back from them or not. On the contrary, they want letters from those interested enough to write a personal letter... someone who very much does want to get to know them, someone who does actually care.
As for spelling... "emoness" is not a word. Might want to check your own spelling before throwing stones there, just a suggestion.
Love to know what you base that one email a week theory on. While I'm all for having selective standards about who we write too, and have very clearly and repeatedly indicated that (I mention that again because you do seem to have such a problem noticing these things), one should write as frequently or infrequently as circumstances warrant. If one finds 2 profiles that seem good matches this week, none next week, and 5 the following... then one writes 2 this week, none next week, and 5 the week after. But here again, for someone with all of a few months experience here, you might want to listen a bit more closely to those of us who have been here and dealing with this for much longer. Contrary to your thinking, the reality is the scattergun approach often does get more response, and for the same reason that telemarketing works. Let's say the average response rate is 10%. If you write to just one a week, you'll average one response in 10 weeks... which for someone who came here hoping to connect with someone else would be understandably discouraging. If you up that to 10 letters per week, you now average one new contact per week. Jump that up still further to 100 form letters per day and you'll average 10 new contacts per day. Even if you allow a drop in response rate to 1% because they're form letters, you're still getting at least one new contact per day and for far less effort invested. The sad fact is, the trolls win through sheer volume and force of numbers. Its part of the problem. CM offers some filters regarding geography and few other things, and they do attempt to curb the spam. But even CM is fighting a losing battle here because the trolls just come back with new accounts and spam some more... and it works for them because there's always at least 1 in 100 that falls for it (and I suspect more than that). Then we get posts from some poor girl wanting to know why the dream dom she met here suddenly disappeared or wasn't who she thought, and then she gets jaded and cynical and the walls go up and the "delete all" gets hit more frequently. Rinse... repeat... vicisous cycle. But then you're apparently too new and too green yourself to realize all this... while those of us who have been here for quite awhile have seen this pattern repeat over and over.
Someone intrigued by the person enough to write them a personal email after reading their journal and profile is not likely to just forget about them. Unless of course you're just mass mailing a lot of women or this is all just some sort of online game to you. People who take the time to write something meaningful have invested something... its natural for people to care about that investment.
As for the whiny journal entries... again, take your own advice.
And no, I never acknowledged you were awesome, that's just your own delusions and very contrary to my rapidly sinking opinion of you. You are still far too wet behind the ears here to be making so many assumptions about how things work here, and far too dismissive of those who have a far more experience with the situation. But then, being rather green you jumped in and picked on someone, not realizing that individual is someone who isn't going to let your bull shit slip by. You're so-called bullet points of wisdom has been said before, and more eloquently by others here... and for all I know you simply plagiarized any one of us. But more to the point you ideas are not only nothing new under the sun, some of them aren't even new to this thread (at least two of your points had already been stated by others). You on one hand claim to genuinely want to know what factors you aren't aware of... and then claim not to care... do try to make up your mind, although personally I think you've already shown your colors. But as I mentioned, being new here and rather green, there are a number of factors you aren't aware off, but which have been discussed here many times before. Perhaps if you learn to lose the attitude and bravado, and at least act like you genuinely care, someone might take the time to explain them to you. Otherwise I suspect your stay here will be very rough for however long it lasts.
|
|
|
|
