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ORIGINAL: AlexandraLynch
I'd expand that a little. My husband and I currently have a male sub who just got out of a horrendously abusive situation living with us as a roommate (no sex, shared house chores in vanilla style, no protocol) and he is "under our protection" because he himself recognizes that he is not going to be real good right now at telling someone at a munch or play party "no" and doesn't want to go into the situation, but can handle a friend taking someone aside and giving them a very short version of the situation. (He is going to lifestyle events because when you fall off a horse you get back on. Except maybe, you know, not on the crazy horse.)

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If you are mentoring a new sub, in my never humble opinion I think he/she would be far better served by being taught to say: "Yes, I am a submissive. No, I'm not YOUR submissive."

I see the under my protection crap as the "white knight" and the "damsel in distress" syndromes meshing in some surreal castle realm kinda way.

Personally, I find the white knight rushing in on his trusty steed to help poor little me out as....something less than endearing.

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Not to be picky but isn't that just being a friend?

In when people in the real world go through tough times and need support they don't wander around proclaiming that they are under protection they may ask friends for support or support groups or rely on themselves, the fancy name is melodramatic. In my experience also it is almost exclusively used by people who have just stumbled into wiitwd and are trying so bloody hard to fit in that they use terms like under consideration and under protection and all that stuff

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dimples,

For myself, I have mentored many when they come to me for advice, and one of the points that I make to them is the under protection on line is crap! In real time there is a use for the concept but there it is not normally mentioned.

CP

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ORIGINAL: CallaFirestormBW

Like Alexandra, sometimes these folks just needed someone to intercede for them, as they knew themselves well enough to know that they weren't good at saying -no- if the "do it" was couched firmly enough. In a couple of cases, there was sufficient reason to worry about potential danger that 'protection' wasn't overstated by any stretch of the imagination.

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ORIGINAL: LillyoftheVally

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ORIGINAL: AlexandraLynch
"they basically watch out for the woman, advise her about people she's getting to know, and step in if they see someone getting too pushy with the woman."

I'd expand that a little. My husband and I currently have a male sub who just got out of a horrendously abusive situation living with us as a roommate (no sex, shared house chores in vanilla style, no protocol) and he is "under our protection" because he himself recognizes that he is not going to be real good right now at telling someone at a munch or play party "no" and doesn't want to go into the situation, but can handle a friend taking someone aside and giving them a very short version of the situation. (He is going to lifestyle events because when you fall off a horse you get back on. Except maybe, you know, not on the crazy horse.)

Not to be picky but isn't that just being a friend?

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In when people in the real world go through tough times and need support they don't wander around proclaiming that they are under protection they may ask friends for support or support groups or rely on themselves, the fancy name is melodramatic. In my experience also it is almost exclusively used by people who have just stumbled into wiitwd and are trying so bloody hard to fit in that they use terms like under consideration and under protection and all that stuff

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"they basically watch out for the woman, advise her about people she's getting to know, and step in if they see someone getting too pushy with the woman."

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I'd expand that a little. My husband and I currently have a male sub who just got out of a horrendously abusive situation living with us as a roommate (no sex, shared house chores in vanilla style, no protocol) and he is "under our protection" because he himself recognizes that he is not going to be real good right now at telling someone at a munch or play party "no" and doesn't want to go into the situation, but can handle a friend taking someone aside and giving them a very short version of the situation. (He is going to lifestyle events because when you fall off a horse you get back on. Except maybe, you know, not on the crazy horse.)

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ORIGINAL: ThatDamnedPanda

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ORIGINAL: Opalescence

Since us submissive types are completely helpless and incapable of making adult decisions, we need protectors. The Domly Board of Awesomeness (TDBA for short)
gathered together and decided to grant us each with a special gift, our very own fairy DomMother (mother is used loosely, it can mean either male or female)! Aren't we lucky?

LOLThis is the product of Rockstar and mind numbingly boring homework.

Be aware - that rabbit is under my protection! You have been warned...

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ORIGINAL: Opalescence

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ORIGINAL: ThatDamnedPanda

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ORIGINAL: Opalescence

Since us submissive types are completely helpless and incapable of making adult decisions, we need protectors. The Domly Board of Awesomeness (TDBA for short)
gathered together and decided to grant us each with a special gift, our very own fairy DomMother (mother is used loosely, it can mean either male or female)! Aren't we lucky?

LOLThis is the product of Rockstar and mind numbingly boring homework.

Be aware - that rabbit is under my protection! You have been warned...

But....it's already been boiled.

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We've never gone into the whole thing of announcing a 'protection collar', though we -have- helped out a couple of individuals who were going through a hard time by bringing them under the protection of the House.

For us, this meant that they weren't under consideration as HB servants, nor were they under contract to us. However, a HB Keeper would be available to accompany them to events, or they could join HB servants at events either until they found someone that they were interested in to enter into a relationship with, or until the individual who had been causing them difficulty (in all cases, abusive/violent former lovers or dominants) was dealt with. In these cases, without someone else to basically 'have their back', they would have been too afraid to go out to anyplace where they might encounter the "ex-ass" without backup. In at least one case, being under House protection saved the woman's life, as her ex-dominant showed up at an event, armed (knife), grabbed her and tried to haul her off with the intention of getting her by herself and forcing her to return with him (his perception was that, once he collared her, she was his to do whatever he wanted with and could never leave... it sounded good at the time, I guess). In any case, two of our beloveds took her, along with a few of our servants, to a national event, and her ex showed up there -- were it not for one of our gentlemen leaving to find the cops, and the other one basically silver-tonguing the heck out of the situation to delay things, we might never have gotten this asshole off the streets (he ended up being convicted of aggravated assault, and assault with a deadly weapon). I do need to qualify this and say that this was before my time in the House, so I didn't -see- any of this... but I -did- meet the woman in question, as she still occasionally attended events with us while I was a relatively newbie in the House.

I think part of the reason that these kinds of questions come up is because people use the -concept- for purposes other than what it is truly intended for. Mentorship, trial or consideration periods, and protection from known entities all have their place, just like they do in mainstream society. After all, what do you think apprenticeship, engagement, and an active police force -are-? However, these ideas have gotten a bad rap in the BDSM aspect, just like polyamory has, because they are, essentially, used in ways that confuse their aspect with other aspects that are often considered "undesirable" or even downright dishonest. There is nothing wrong with the -concept-, per se, or with those who choose to use it, but it has been so watered down or twisted that one is often hard-pressed to find any of the original essence still present in the permutation.

Dame Calla

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I don't like the term myself and wouldn't be under anyone's protection. If I'm not in a relationship I'm the independent type and don't want to have to run things by someone else. I'm a smart woman and can handle making my own mistakes and getting past them. Besides, if I can choose who to be under protection by, I can choose who I wish to submit to ... no?

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~pretends a swoon~

oh someone, please, help me? i simply cant protect myself!

~bats the scarlette o'hara lashes and waits~

_____________________________

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ORIGINAL: WyldHrt

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Well, then please do share why YOU think the person I referenced, who is (i) just out of an "abusive" relationship, (ii) living with someone because they can't fend for themselves, and (iii) lacks the ability to "say no" (i.e., is unable to give/deny consent) should in ANY way be focusing on BDSM (munches and play parties), instead of getting therapy and their life in order as a first priority?!!

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ORIGINAL: WyldHrt

Wow, 5 pages on something that doesn't mean anything beyond the people involved. Impressive, not.

To those bothered by seeing this in a profile, move on; to those confronted with it in a club, she's not that into you;  to MSLA, well, not much I can say there without getting mod spanked.
Done.

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What if DarkSteven desires his private affairs remain that way instead of making the submissive a target for any people who wish to do ill to him? Just sayin! There's a lot of of ways to show you care.

lovingpet