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RE: Under Protection???????? - 8/6/2009 4:44:28 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

I promise that you are quite welcome, lp.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to lovingpet)

Post #: 121

RE: Under Protection???????? - 8/6/2009 5:09:18 PM

MasterSlaveLA

Posts: 3991
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

To your great disappointment, this (or what you do) doesn't "piss me off"... people are free to do whatever they want, and I'm free to feel their actions/verbiage stupid.

_____________________________

It's only kinky the first time!!!

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 122

RE: Under Protection???????? - 8/6/2009 5:11:58 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

When someone is first getting started, it can absolutely be a benefit for them to feel that they have someone protecting them. Not from making their own personal choices, but someone who's been around long enough to help them in certain ways. Let them know who the local predators might be or what lines they may not have heard of before. Prior to My move, I was excellent in this capacity. That's not the same as saying the new person is stupid. That's saying I probably have more knowledge about certain individuals and their actual abilities after knowing them for years.

Agreed.

If I have a full D/s relationship with a woman, then I expect sex, service, affection, companionship, etc., in return for protection, sex, affection, and guidance.

But it's not all or nothing. I can still give her the protection part of that. It's like a way to bring another person in, temporarily, without the complications of a full poly relationship. And there is NOTHING wrong with someone turning over responsibility for making decisions to someone else - FFS, she's a submissive! If she trusts someone, it's just natural.

I'm surprised this is controversial.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 123

RE: Under Protection???????? - 8/6/2009 5:35:48 PM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

I'd like to broaden the "protection" idea out a bit, if I may.

Whenever I have met a woman for the first time from online-to-real, I have offered to meet her when she is with one or several of her friends. I encourage her to talk about me to people she knows. I want to be checked out by people who care about her and wish to protect her. Why? Two reasons.

1. It makes her more comfortable and confident in me as a person, and not just some pervo CollarMe Internet Man.

2. It gives me a reading on her. Does she have close friends she is comfortable talking to about me? Or (potential red flag) does she have no one she confides in about dating or relationship matters? The quality of her friends can tell me a lot about her.

So, in sum: protection, in general, does not chap my ass. A woman with no protectors at all would concern me more than a woman with an overzealous brother, friend-dom, or roommate.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 124

RE: Under Protection???????? - 8/6/2009 5:39:27 PM

MasterSlaveLA

Posts: 3991
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

I can still give her the protection part of that.

Protection from WHO... those that YOU deem they need to be "protected" from; i.e., those who hold YOUR view of this dynamic. Hint: Your view is not the ONLY view, and YOUR way is not the only way. So your alleged "protection" is little more than an egotistical mirror.

quote:

It's like a way to bring another person in, temporarily, without the complications of a full poly relationship.

Ohhhh.... so it's a PARTIAL "poly relationship", then. Which part? Where YOU get to BANG them as part of your alleged "protection", have them clean your house, or some other behavior that should ONLY be limited to the one the submissive person chooses as their Dominant partner?!! So umm... who is going to "protect" this trusting submissive from YOU?!!

quote:

And there is NOTHING wrong with someone turning over responsibility for making decisions to someone else - FFS, she's a submissive!

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight... because all teh wittle submittives can't possibly be responsible for themselves. You actually hold such a poor opinion of someone just because they're "submissive"??? Incredible!!! May surprise you to know that subs/slaves "turn over responsibility" ONLY to the one that becomes their Dominant partner and not every Tom, Dick, or Harry that checks the Toppy box on CollarMe; including you. Your admission that you view your alleged "protection" as an exchange for any type of "poly relationship" is disturbing at best. Again... who's "protecting" this person from YOU?!!

_____________________________

It's only kinky the first time!!!

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 125

RE: Under Protection???????? - 8/6/2009 5:51:00 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven
I'm surprised this is controversial.

As am I. What words or terms used between those who have come to agreement, I do not understand why an outsider would take issue.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 126

RE: Under Protection???????? - 8/6/2009 6:06:23 PM

Daddysredhead

Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven
I'm surprised this is controversial.

As am I. What words or terms used between those who have come to agreement, I do not understand why an outsider would take issue.

I never understood why people got upset about it either. *shrugs*

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 127

RE: Under Protection???????? - 8/6/2009 11:20:21 PM

MasterSlaveLA

Posts: 3991
Status: offline

Funny how those that support the "Under Protection" thing think it "upsets" all that don't or that we "take issue" with it, instead of the reality of simply finding it stupid, as well as illogical, manipulative, self-serving, and hypocritical.

The OP asked for personal opinions on the topic (hence the "to you" part in the OP)... opinions have been given... and if some can't seem to can't handle (i.e., they get "upset" over) an opposing opinion to their own, then the problem is theirs. Having an opposing opinion (or finding something stupid) does not, ipso-facto, equate to being "upset" or "taking issue". Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.

Forums = Opinions... some favoring, some opposing; not that difficult a concept to digest.

< Message edited by MasterSlaveLA -- 8/6/2009 11:35:05 PM >

_____________________________

It's only kinky the first time!!!

(in reply to Daddysredhead)

Post #: 128

RE: Under Protection???????? - 8/7/2009 2:46:49 AM

VanIsleKnight

Posts: 283
Joined: 8/4/2009
Status: offline

I've a question, does this term apply only to women? What about submissive men that are bisexual or gay? I'd assume that the dangers and obstacles that submissive women experience from straight men would be the same dangers that bi/gay men would experience from other men as well (or particularly malicious women, if that's the case).

_____________________________

Apologies for what you feel might be a spelling error. I'm Canadian.

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 129

RE: Under Protection???????? - 8/7/2009 3:17:45 AM

Level

Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline

It can apply to either sex, but almost always, it's used towards females.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to VanIsleKnight)

Post #: 130

RE: Under Protection???????? - 8/7/2009 4:20:47 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

I can still give her the protection part of that.

Protection from WHO... those that YOU deem they need to be "protected" from; i.e., those who hold YOUR view of this dynamic. Hint: Your view is not the ONLY view, and YOUR way is not the only way. So your alleged "protection" is little more than an egotistical mirror.

quote:

It's like a way to bring another person in, temporarily, without the complications of a full poly relationship.

Ohhhh.... so it's a PARTIAL "poly relationship", then. Which part? Where YOU get to BANG them as part of your alleged "protection", have them clean your house, or some other behavior that should ONLY be limited to the one the submissive person chooses as their Dominant partner?!! So umm... who is going to "protect" this trusting submissive from YOU?!!

quote:

And there is NOTHING wrong with someone turning over responsibility for making decisions to someone else - FFS, she's a submissive!

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight... because all teh wittle submittives can't possibly be responsible for themselves. You actually hold such a poor opinion of someone just because they're "submissive"??? Incredible!!! May surprise you to know that subs/slaves "turn over responsibility" ONLY to the one that becomes their Dominant partner and not every Tom, Dick, or Harry that checks the Toppy box on CollarMe; including you. Your admission that you view your alleged "protection" as an exchange for any type of "poly relationship" is disturbing at best. Again... who's "protecting" this person from YOU?!!

Wow. You've taken my comments and added some considerable... "interpretation". You have made the assumption that I walk around offering "protection" to thousands of submissives in hopes of banging them. Not the case.

I have never had sex with someone I've had under protection. I have had a no-sex, discipline-only relationship where she wanted to go to local events and I went with her and felt protective towards her. And I've been chatting with newbies who were apprehensive about going to events and I offered to go with them and keep an eye on them.

I did not come in with a preconceived notion of who they needed to be protected from. If you want to know, let your slave walk into an event where nobody knows she's taken, without a collar. That will give you a general idea.

To answer the question that you've posed several times... who's going to protect her from me? I am. If I don't think a relationship would be good for her, it ain't gonna happen.

You seem to think that a Dom cannot have a friendship with a sub without sex. And that we all have sex on the mind and never wish to simply help others out. May I ask where you got this jaundiced view of Dominant men?

And I do NOT hold poor opinions of submissives. I am sorry that you hold such poor opinions of Dominants.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to MasterSlaveLA)

Post #: 131

RE: Under Protection???????? - 8/7/2009 4:50:27 AM

LillyoftheVally

Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: VanIsleKnight

I've a question, does this term apply only to women? What about submissive men that are bisexual or gay? I'd assume that the dangers and obstacles that submissive women experience from straight men would be the same dangers that bi/gay men would experience from other men as well (or particularly malicious women, if that's the case).

What bugs me is not only that it is almost always women but that it is almost always submissive women, the implication being 'we' can't look after ourselves

_____________________________

'My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.'

Nah I am not happy to see you either

(in reply to VanIsleKnight)

Post #: 132

RE: Under Protection???????? - 8/7/2009 5:16:53 AM

Acer49

Posts: 1434
Joined: 8/7/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

To be concise, this just chaps my ass!

What does it mean to you?

CP

There are many here who would benefit from such protection, provided the protector was of high standards
Tutoring of some of the pitfalls and dangers of this enviorment as well as to assist when needed

(in reply to CelticPrince)

Post #: 133

RE: Under Protection???????? - 8/7/2009 5:19:09 AM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

I think there's at least two (very) different things going on here. If I see a woman's profile that says, "Under the protection of MasterJohnDoe. He reads all my email," I won't write her. If she doesn't have the emotional and intellectual wherewithal to sort her own inbox, she doesn't have enough brains to interest me. In terms of real life contact, though, having friends or "Platonic protectors" is a good sign as far as I'm concerned, for the reasons I gave above.

Mean posts on a message board scare me, though. So for anyone who is even thinking of disagreeing with me, I want you to know right away that I am now wearing LillyoftheVally's cybercollar of protection. She will devastate you with sarcasm and pointed remarks if your words make me cry.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to LillyoftheVally)

Post #: 134

RE: Under Protection???????? - 8/7/2009 5:41:59 AM

myzticalsub

Posts: 2
Joined: 8/3/2009
Status: offline

I hope that I am not out of line in responding to this thread, but as I was reading through it a couple things came to mind.

I have a Mentor/Protector, not because I am incapable of forming my own opinion or making my own decisions, but because for me its comforting and feels secure knowing that there is Someone there I can talk to, bounce things off of, get His opinion, input, etc. An example: the other day I received a couple of msg's from a particular Dominant. He was extremely forceful and was immediately demanding of me within the first two emails. I'm not judging anyone's approach, however for me; this was a huge red flag. I was concerned that I was reading it wrong and so I asked my Mentor for His input and opinion. He didn't tell me what to think, what to do, or the like. He gave me His opinion and allowed me to make my own decision.

But if there was a time when I was just completely blinded by my hunger to serve that I was about to put myself in a dangerous position, I have absolutely no doubt that He would step in and open my eyes while still allowing me the right to choose.

I said all that to say, to some of us, as a submissive, having a protector and/or mentor is a comfort thing. There are many individuals who are new to the lifestyle and let's be honest, it can be intimidating. There’s a newness and an innocence to some and they need guidance in making the right decision for them. That does not make them unstable or unintelligent... just unknowledgeable in a new "world".

Thanks for listening :-)

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 135

RE: Under Protection???????? - 8/7/2009 6:15:55 AM

LillyoftheVally

Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

Mean posts on a message board scare me, though. So for anyone who is even thinking of disagreeing with me, I want you to know right away that I am now wearing LillyoftheVally's cybercollar of protection. She will devastate you with sarcasm and pointed remarks if your words make me cry.

Ha, you know me so well Mr Red :P

_____________________________

'My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.'

Nah I am not happy to see you either

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 136

RE: Under Protection???????? - 8/7/2009 6:24:12 AM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: myzticalsub
I hope that I am not out of line in responding to this thread,

You are not out of line responding to any thread, anywhere on the boards, myzticalsub. Thanks for posting.

Doms (and men in general) find it comforting to have friends, too. That's not just a submissive thing, or a "girl" thing. However, if you really don't pass judgment on anyone's approach, I'd suggest you consider changing that policy. There's nothing wrong with telling some guy to go to hell, or just blocking him, if he shows you no respect. I personally have no interest in a woman unless she is badass and kickass, and there are a lot of other dominants (both male and female) who feel the same way.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to myzticalsub)

Post #: 137

RE: Under Protection???????? - 8/7/2009 7:38:42 AM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA
Funny how those that support the "Under Protection" thing think it "upsets" all that don't or that we "take issue" with it,

People get that impression because you post in an angry, histrionic fashion -- using words and phrases that only an upset person would use.

I find it rather amusing that, in a thread on "Under Protection," I have seen [Awaiting Approval] so many times. It is a demonstration that these message boards are under someone's protection. Perhaps you dislike the idea because you're one of the people subs have been "protected against" over the years, much as we are all being protected against your, ah, scathing wit, right now.

Before you respond, be sure to remember that I have begged LillyoftheVally's cybercollar. She's the meanest pink fairy you've ever seen.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to MasterSlaveLA)

Post #: 138

RE: Under Protection???????? - 8/7/2009 7:45:56 AM

LillyoftheVally

Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA

Funny how those that support the "Under Protection" thing think it "upsets" all that don't or that we "take issue" with it, instead of the reality of simply finding it stupid, as well as illogical, manipulative, self-serving, and hypocritical.

This is rather ironic in my opinion, though I personally don't like the term at all and think it can be over used people can do what they hell they like with their lives, I don't think that it is always illogical, manipulative, self serving or hypocritical. Also using emotive language such as you did seems to suggest it does upset you because you are not maintaining any balance (its ok it happens when we get passionate, but that implies that you are taking issue)

My biggest passion about it is as I have mentioned the gender/orientation for which it often applies, but then i am a raving feminist who loves her soap box

_____________________________

'My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.'

Nah I am not happy to see you either

(in reply to MasterSlaveLA)

Post #: 139

RE: Under Protection???????? - 8/7/2009 8:03:44 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA

Funny how those that support the "Under Protection" thing think it "upsets" all that don't or that we "take issue" with it, instead of the reality of simply finding it stupid, as well as illogical, manipulative, self-serving, and hypocritical.

The OP asked for personal opinions on the topic (hence the "to you" part in the OP)... opinions have been given... and if some can't seem to can't handle (i.e., they get "upset" over) an opposing opinion to their own, then the problem is theirs. Having an opposing opinion (or finding something stupid) does not, ipso-facto, equate to being "upset" or "taking issue". Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.

Forums = Opinions... some favoring, some opposing; not that difficult a concept to digest.

What I find funny is the fact that, since it doesn't work for you, it's stupid, even though it works for others. No where in your opinion have you stated why you think those who use the term have a lack of intelligence. What I did see was some comments that made the entire discussion seem that those who use the term are looking to bang someone. Sure, some people have used it for that, but it's not an absolute. I think we can agree on that.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to MasterSlaveLA)

Post #: 140

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