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ORIGINAL: LillyoftheVally

The under protection thread got me thinking, I know I always bang on about my frustration with the convoluted labeling that many of us get involved with and I am thinking mentoring falls into that category, I didn't want to derail that thread so...

I am not an expert on all things falling under the D/s M/s BDSM umbrella, I know what I know and slant it to suit me, if someone comes to me and asks for advice I have no problem giving them my perspective but is that really mentoring? Isn't that just voicing an opinion? What about doing that on an extended basis, sharing ideas and information isn't that friendship?

I remember having a big discussion with a woman who said that all people newly joining wiitwd need to be mentored, I don't agree, I have met many people around all this, some of whom I deeply respect but I have yet to find even one that I would want to mentor me because they do things their way. Someone may have a lot of experience in a certain aspect and I may ask them about it but again that is down to friendship/acquaintance.

I have spoke to many people who say that they 'teach' people on both sides of the kneel, teach them what? Sure you can teach skills but how can you ever teach someone how to be what feels right for them? How can you tell them what works?

The problem as I see it is that many use the phrases as a way to make all this more complicated, as though you need to sit a test to be fully qualified when really all we are doing is flailing around working out what we need to make ourselves happy.

I may be way off base here though (it has been known) Just wondering what other people think.