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stella41b -> RE: Young submission and its consequences (8/9/2009 2:42:45 PM)
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I'm kind of surprised having read through this thread, or rather somewhat shocked.
I see the OP, Prinsexx in a rather difficult situation here with her daughter.
I'm not too sure what throws me the most here, whether it's the unanimous clamouring for therapy for both her and her daughter, or the hostility and animosity directed towards the OP together with the judgmental narrow-minded attitudes.
Really. It's a thread like this which makes me wonder whether this is an online scenario of a community congregating in the local village hall.
This could also be the website of the International Council for the Promotion of Therapists. Really.
You wouldn't think it's a website concerning WIITWD, a website full of people who get involved in beating, whipping, flogging, pissing, and a whole host of other perversions which 20-30 years ago would have been classed as sexual deviations and behavioural abnormalities which would have excluded the vast majority of us from society and brought the interest of both the medical profession and the law.
Not that I'm trying to muddy or obscure the very clear distinction between WIITWD and abuse. I'm not. But the thing is with abuse you don't always see it coming, you don't always recognize it, and it also follows that you're not always able to deal with it.
Just what is this universal standard of.. normality that many of you seem to be clinging to? Who are you to judge via such an online medium (when many of you advocate meetings and interactions in real time) whether someone needs therapy or not?
When since did having a child mean that you somehow have to attain some level of perfection and infallability? Are you seriously expecting me to believe that none of you have had your UM bring some sort of drama into your life or that there has been some drama that you've struggled to cope with?
I have first hand knowledge of the OP, Prin. We are in daily contact, online, and offline, by text, by phone, and we meet. She runs her family, works, writes, and lives just as much as we all do, but in her own way. She's an individual, she stands out, but the bottom line here is that she functions.
Therapy doesn't always work. I've been in therapy three times. Twice it resulted in a suicide attempt. Therapy to me is something you go for when you are unable to function, not something you go for to make you more socially acceptable to others.
Is she dysfunctional? Yes she is. But then again so am I and so are a lot of people. We all live, we all interact with people, and after a certain age, like it or not, we all have issues. The only way to avoid having issues in life is to lock yourself away in a cupboard and stay there.
Some have deeper issues than others but you know at the end of the day we all walk our own individual paths through life and we all have our crosses to bear.
Seems to me that some who have posted here have perfect clarity of vision when it comes to other people, but a certain sort of myopia when it comes to themselves.
Now please don't take this as me having total agreement with Prin, I don't, I don't because I don't have an opinion, I'm not a parent, I don't have a daughter, I have no realistic way of putting myself in her position and her shoes, although I am trying and giving her the benefit of the doubt. Colour me neutral if you like.
I'm here because after reading I just felt it necessary to post to counter the hostility and invective that some of you have for her. If it causes you to be hostile to me then so be it, I'm not here to be popular, I'm here as Prin's friend and as with friends I stand by them no matter what and will come to their defence if necessary.
And therefore I'll stop here but just ask some of you out there to take a moment to pause and reflect on what you have posted, to take a look at the hostility and invective and try to see it for what it is. Just for a moment.
'Let he who casts the first stone...' or whatever.
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