RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OLD TOPIC, "TRIBUTE".....

RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OLD TOPIC, "TRIBUTE"..... (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress

Message

DevotionNService -> RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OLD TOPIC, "TRIBUTE"..... (8/14/2009 5:09:58 PM)
Well, that comment wasn't really in reply to you either. The way this forum works on a technical level is strange to me. It was to a couple other people though, others who responded to me, which will be clear enough to them based on what they said. I'm not typically so... shall I say... blunt. But it was the way in which the OP carried herself. Mama didn't raise no fool and I'm give attitude for attitude ;)

pyroaquatic -> RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OLD TOPIC, "TRIBUTE"..... (8/14/2009 5:10:49 PM)
Ah... you are young and angry and while this Texas Lady has a bitter tone you do not need to match it. We are different people for when I read it I was more sad than anything. She has framed it however she framed it... and perhaps she did it on purpose to elicit different responses out of people... such as yours, or mine. Women are tricky like that, and there are many crafty ones running about on this board. [;)] These people are my friends. If you sit back and read lots you will learn many things. You come into the forum foolish but you leave a little wiser.

Venatrix -> RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OLD TOPIC, "TRIBUTE"..... (8/14/2009 5:22:04 PM)
You know, Pyro, the only thing I can find wrong with you is that you're not twenty years older. Ah, well, perhaps my (slightly paunchy, balding) prince will come.

Starbuck09 -> RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OLD TOPIC, "TRIBUTE"..... (8/14/2009 5:25:59 PM)
Would you not consider dating someone considerably younger Venatrix?

DevotionNService -> RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OLD TOPIC, "TRIBUTE"..... (8/14/2009 5:29:45 PM)
I notice that I was called 'young and angry' more than once. I responded to someone who was old and angry at the time. I felt like matching it. I matched it. Age doesn't seem to be a factor. And anyone who knows me knows that I'm not an angry person. But that's the brush I get painted with even after explanations are handed out. Perhaps I should be the one who is astonished here. But that ship has sailed as I've already been astonished by one or two replies to me and see no point in feeling in such a way further. But this discussion is becoming fast and quite mysteriously about me and my age (a convenient excuse it would seem from my point of view) and I wish people wouldn't derail a perfectly good discussion by making it all about me. That isn't particularly respectful to the forum as a whole. This thread isn't about me.

pyroaquatic -> RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OLD TOPIC, "TRIBUTE"..... (8/14/2009 5:35:28 PM)
The only thing I find wrong with you-Venatrix- is that you find me too young. [&:] Give me twenty years, please. Off topic. Yes, it has turned into a genderslinging bash fest but we are all these things called.... Human. Once money comes into play- it is the root of all evil. But these gifts can be lovely things.... and the situation of Texas Lady and her submissive male is one we are not in. We do not know the ins and outs of it. There is love there for sure or else the nameless submissive male would not continue the relationship. He is a consenting adult. Once us young-uns get to the point where we know where the hell we are going and we get our dreams going then we can begin to afford to gift our lovely Domina friends with splendid toys and perfumes.... although I would rather make mine from scratch as a symbol of the hard work I am willing to put in for this future Domme of mine. Thanks for the compliment Venatrix. Perhaps we can sip on some Earl Gray and enjoy some Toccata and Fugue or some choral chamber music someday. I can be pudgy and balding too!

Lockit -> RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OLD TOPIC, "TRIBUTE"..... (8/14/2009 5:40:14 PM)
ROFL... pyro... I am soooooo very glad you found your way here!

Andalusite -> RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OLD TOPIC, "TRIBUTE"..... (8/14/2009 5:41:48 PM)
Pyro, you can always shave your head. [;)] FWIW, I've been doing BDSM since my boyfriend/submissive at the time and I were 20, and we were together for 5 years, and are still in touch on friendly terms. Granted, it didn't work out, but we were far more successful than many people who have their first BDSM-oriented relationships in their 40's or 50's. Maturity isn't just a matter of calendar age. Speaking of lyrics, http://www.onlylyrics.com/hits.php?grid=8&id=1035363 has almost the same exact theme from the vanilla perspective. Devotion, I think it's less about your age, and more that your first post was so negative. People who've posted here a bit longer in a more balanced way can "get away with" more since people know there's more to them than that. This whole topic obviously arouses strong feelings on both sides! I thought you were pretty over the top, even if she was as well. If you say something strongly enough, you can be put on moderation or have your post edited or deleted, so it's best to disagree a little more politely.

sodsta -> RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OLD TOPIC, "TRIBUTE"..... (8/14/2009 5:43:12 PM)
quote: Once us young-uns get to the point where we know where the hell we are going and we get our dreams going then we can begin to afford to gift our lovely Domina friends with splendid toys and perfumes.... Ahh, but see, I don't like that that kind of thing is an expectation. As with any relationship - platonic, romantic, kinky, etc... everything should be a two-way street. I would like to think that any gifting I did (be it material or of my time, effort, love or affection) would be done because I felt the desire to do it. Because I cared for and loved my partner enough to want to make them smile. Not because, as a sub, it was expected of me to buy said partner shiny things. And, by the same token, I would also like to think that my partner would love and care for me enough to want to do equally nice things to make me smile, too.

Starbuck09 -> RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OLD TOPIC, "TRIBUTE"..... (8/14/2009 5:48:11 PM)
I agree with you sodsta. I find it distasteful in the extreme that a gift, any gift, can be held up as an example of how much a person loves their partner. If a lover of mine was having a conversation with a friend and said that the way she could tell I loved her was by looking at what I had brought her I would feel like a glorified pimp.

RedMagic1 -> RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OLD TOPIC, "TRIBUTE"..... (8/14/2009 5:53:04 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DevotionNService Mama didn't raise no fool and I'm give attitude for attitude ;) If you believe it is always correct to "give attitude for attitude," then you are foolish, regardless of how your mother raised you.

AlexandraLynch -> RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OLD TOPIC, "TRIBUTE"..... (8/14/2009 5:54:57 PM)
I'd rather have a man who makes me laugh than a man who buys me flowers and expensive jewelry. I don't want diamonds or couture. I don't live a life involving those, by choice. You can romance me with verjuice, cassia buds and facsimiles of medieval cookbooks, arch supports and volunteering to do the dishes after dinner. Flowers are pretty, but useless.

Andalusite -> RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OLD TOPIC, "TRIBUTE"..... (8/14/2009 5:58:08 PM)
Starbuck, I really don't think that's a fair analogy. I do think it's immature, like kids bragging about what they got for Christmas or birthday or whatever.

Starbuck09 -> RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OLD TOPIC, "TRIBUTE"..... (8/14/2009 6:05:17 PM)
Why do you think it's unfair Andalusite? I've no problem with someone being thrilled with a gift I give them, thhat's really the point of giving it in the first place to make them happy, not to demonstrate my love. If I was in a relationship with a woman who judged my love for her based on the items I pay for then I would conclude that A my usually excellent judgement in partners had deserted me and B that the woman I was with had never actually been in love and certainly did not love me.

Andalusite -> RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OLD TOPIC, "TRIBUTE"..... (8/14/2009 6:10:49 PM)
I don't think it comes from that motivation at all. It's not a good attitude to have, but it's more excitement over what someone who cares about got you/bragging rather than it being about sex. I think that feeling she never loved you would be over the top, but thinking she's a greedy brat who you no longer want to date might be perfectly reasonable, if she's really bad about it. If you read that book on "love languages," giving/getting presents is one of the ways that people tend to feel loved, along with being told verbally, doing things for your partner, hugs/cuddles/touching, and I think a few more. I think people can get pretty excited and happy, and just phrase things poorly, without their being gold diggers or anything. It's more "Aww, look how sweet my boyfriend/husband/SO/other label is!" bounce yay not "I gave him a blow job in exchange for a necklace!" in most cases. Besides, a pimp doesn't give things to prostitutes, that's what "johns" (the customers) do. Pimps are the ones the prostitutes have to turn over a share of the money to in exchange for "protection" or drugs or whatever.

Starbuck09 -> RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OLD TOPIC, "TRIBUTE"..... (8/14/2009 6:16:31 PM)
Fair enough Andalusite perhaps sugar daddy rather than pimp. I'm afraid my sex industry nomenclature is rusty at the best of times! Hypothetically Andalusite if the roles were reversed and a man that you were dating judged your feelings for him by the gifts he received from you, would you not feel terribly dissapointed that there was no other indicator for him of your love? Would you not feel you were wasting your time being compassionate and caring, attentitive e.t.c. when these things were not enough to illustrate your love for him?

Starbuck09 -> RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OLD TOPIC, "TRIBUTE"..... (8/14/2009 6:19:17 PM)
Sorry Andalusite I posted before I saw your edit. I'm afraid i've never even heard of the book I will look out for it though in the future. I don't think there's anything wrong with being over the moon about a gift and even bragging to an extent [albeit a very moderate extent] it's just the link between gifts and love is all too close to money for love, at least in my opinion.

Andalusite -> RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OLD TOPIC, "TRIBUTE"..... (8/14/2009 6:24:24 PM)
A lot of people do feel it's an expression of love, not a way of being reimbursed for sex! Same goes for service or just doing nice things for the other person, and the other ones listed. Here's the URL with a brief description: http://www.fivelovelanguages.com/learn.html http://www.fivelovelanguages.com/learn_apology.html I'm certainly not saying it's universally true, and obviously it's important to be at least reasonably compatible in that respect, and to have some awareness of what works for your partner! I happen to personally be more into the physical touch and quality time aspects than the service or gift ones, but I do enjoy getting presents for my boyfriend, family, friends, etc. It is one way I show that I care about them, and if he bragged on me to his friends about how he can tell how much I love him because he got <whatever he's ecstatic about>, I'd be happy he was so excited! My last boyfriend/Dominant was into a rather geeky hobby, and I went to cheer him on and make myself useful and spend time with him fairly often, and occasionally bought him stuff he needed/wanted for it, and he frequently bragged on me to his friends about it. Quite a few of them teased him/us that they were jealous and wished their sweeties were so supportive. I never felt like he was taking advantage of me or taking me for granted, and he was supportive of my hobbies, too. So far, it hasn't really come up so dramatically with my Master.

keary -> RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OLD TOPIC, "TRIBUTE"..... (8/14/2009 6:24:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DevotionNService I'm sorry, but a man is not a 'limp dick' or any other derogatory term for not supporting his Mistress financially. In general to be supported in such a way is a submissive trait and you would do well to learn the difference before spouting off and insulting your betters. I say 'in general' because it becomes a strength for the aware to be served in such a way. But always keep in mind the real world when defining these things and not the fantasy world which you would prefer to live in. It is a strength, a trait of power, to earn your own way. You're using your nature, your talents as an individual woman to get what you need and that's fine. But there's power and then there's power. I want to counter your attitude with the other extreme, tell you what a nothing you are just because of the way you have spouted off here, but I think I'll remain the objective voice that you seem unable to grasp in this situation as I would prefer to benefit with this lessen others who may be as dense as you, Texas M (I can't bring myself to refer to you as 'Ma'am' - that form of degradation in relation to you has become a hard-limit of mine). I, on a personal note, do not think I could ever serve a 'Mistress' such as yourself. I prefer a strong woman and that you are not - relatively sp

RedMagic1 -> RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OLD TOPIC, "TRIBUTE"..... (8/14/2009 6:27:28 PM)
Wow. Don't friends buy each other things sometimes -- to say nothing of a deeper connection that lovers share? Comments about money being too close to love seem to support the claim of many femdoms in this thread that "submissive" men are cheap as hell.

Page: << < prev 8 9 [10] 11 12 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.046875