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NoreenSwan -> RE: BOIZ, LEMME TELL YOU HOW IT'S DONE....THAT TIRED OLD TOPIC, "TRIBUTE"..... (9/4/2009 6:24:39 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: LaTigresse
Using fast reply.......
Just to toss a thought out there. In my time here at Collarme reading the forums. I've read oodles of threads about the financial aspects of the female dominant, male s-type, dynamic. There are ALWAYS, a consistent few males that make it a point to jump in and beat to death, their distaste for this type of thing. Over and over and over and over and........
Now, given the fact that I haven't got even a dead horse in this race, my point of view is purely observational and yet coming from a woman. Think about that.
IF.......I was in the market for a male s type, the constant blathering on and on, from otherwise, decent seeming guys, would turn me off them completely. And here are the reasons.
#1. It's negative. No matter how you word your debate guys, it does begin to be, just negative whining and I effing HATE constant negativity. Just get over the fact that it exists and focus on the positive things M/s or D/s means to YOU.
#2. It really does make you look like a cheap ass. I know I don't expect anyone to tribute me, or buy me cases of Dom, caskets of gold jewelry or a mansion on the Rivera, but I do think that some generousity of the pocket reflects generousity of the soul. Regardless of how broke you are, if you cannot afford more than the occasional card, your just being a tightass. And that is unflattering. Seriously. Even if it is some discount florist flowers or dinner at her favourite diner because that is all you can afford, showing that she is important enough to you, to make the effort, will go an awful long way. Especially if you genuinely prove you expect nothing in return. Trust me, the return can end up being be better than you ever imagined.
Just start thinking of this like vanilla dating with a better (for you) POTENTIAL relationship.
The above sentence is the key. Just because a woman is dominant and the guy is submissive doesn't mean you can ask for guarantees before any sort of investment of any sort. When I talk of investment, I mean time also. Quit thinking that, just because you show up and are the person you promised you would be, your still going to get something out of it. Quit thinking that, because you buy her dinner or bring her flowers, your going to get your kinky jollies.
Now, where the difference lies, is vanilla women rarely demand you bring them a gift. Well, guess what guys, your not dating vanilla. You've already determined you want a certain type of woman and you are going to have to decide if the lady you ask out, is worth putting forth a little extra effort than the vanilla lady that works in your grocery store, or doctor's office. Well, look at it this way. You are paying to get past one hurdle, answering the question "Is she kinky or not?".
Seriously, look at the issue however you want. Have whatever opinions you want, of those that demand and expect something material. If you hate it, pass them by. No one is forcing you to chase after her. Certainly not her. And that my friend is the key, these women do not back you into a corner and demand you be their money slave. You are chasing them. Figure out what works for you and just let the rest roll off your back. Let it fucking go!
It will make you look MUCH more attractive to the dominant women that don't expect cash or jewels but a genuine, generous hearted, submissive/slave, man.
"Now, where the difference lies, is vanilla women rarely demand you bring them a gift. Well, guess what guys, your not dating vanilla."
The protesters and the ones who want equality with a twist of kink shouldn't be looking for mistresses. They should look for tops or become a dom so they can get their rules followed by a subby woman.
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