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Death By Posting - 8/15/2009 6:57:29 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

No, this isn't a topic about any of us who are so addicted to this site that we've literally died at the keyboard.

Let Me set the stage for you. Some of you other forum addicts are going to recognize the references to other threads that I'm about to mention. While I'm not trying to embarrass anyone, I have to give some description so people can understand what I'm talking about.

On the Mistress board, a male sub makes his first post. In that post, he displays his negative attitude and continues on the thread to display his hatred for women in power.

In the same thread, another male sub comes along and insults two women who are regular posters.

In the Ask A Submissive section, a Dominant creates a post that basically outs someone else. He continues to show his behind until the thread is pulled.

Another thread in the off topic section, a Mistress laments about her over indulgence with alcohol.

In your opinion, would you think that some of these things are basically death by posting? That the writers have basically shot themselves in the foot to the degree that the best advice that you can give them is that it's time to change their screen name because they have made such a terrible impression?

For Myself, I'm going to say yes to all. I tend to think those kinds of things are remembered by, at minimum, forum regulars. In the case of the submissive males, the negative attitude towards women certainly allows at least a side of their personality out. In the case of the Dominant outing someone, how could a sub trust such a Dominant? Over indulgence of alcohol is often seen as a red flag, isn't it?

So, what is your take on these kinds of things? Would you recommend in these cases that a person just create a new profile and start over? Is there such a thing as death by posting?

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

Post #: 1

RE: Death By Posting - 8/15/2009 7:04:24 PM

NBCNCO

Posts: 18
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline

I dunno.. I guess if you work at it you can gain some respect back but in many cases, yeah, it probably is warranted. I know I've made an enemy or two on here.

The sad thing about it, though, is you can only make one that's truly honest, and that typically is the first one unless you're planning on this happening. So if you're hear to learn anything, you are going to have to start off your second chance by lying so you aren't found out. That doesn't do anybody any good, and that's the reason I just suck it up and drive on.

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 2

RE: Death By Posting - 8/15/2009 7:04:48 PM

Jadiken

Posts: 60
Joined: 7/4/2009
Status: offline

I totally agree LP! Although I dont think they should create a new profile and start over, I think they should take some time out to re-evaluate what it is that is going on in their head/life and see if really they need to be posting here... I have a feeling that even if someone posted something like this and then created a new profile that it will still come back to haunt them because their profile changed, they didnt.... Then again, maybe they should have thought about what they were saying to begin with... I for one, dont understand how a submissive male (provided they are into women) could show such a negative attitide towards women... thats kind of a double standard I think?

But, just my opinion...

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 3

RE: Death By Posting - 8/15/2009 7:05:46 PM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

No.

The people who do the things you say are not, 99% of the time, approaching this forum as a place where they could actually meet people. It's just as well, because, with their posting patterns, they're not improving their chances.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 4

RE: Death By Posting - 8/15/2009 7:15:09 PM

lizi

Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline

In the examples you gave LP I think Death By Posting is almost an assured result. In some lesser cases I've seen people issue apologies- that impresses me and I usually revise the negative opinion to some degree if not all.

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 5

RE: Death By Posting - 8/15/2009 7:17:58 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

Being that many people do not read the forums I'd say no they haven't shot themselves in the foot.

They've only done so with the handful who actually read and post here but the majority on c.com don't so they really have nothing much to be concerned about.

(in reply to lizi)

Post #: 6

RE: Death By Posting - 8/15/2009 7:33:44 PM

PyrotheClown

Posts: 1950
Joined: 5/18/2009
Status: offline

this thread is ridiculaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhwwwwwwwwwwwww...................................................................................................................

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 7

RE: Death By Posting - 8/15/2009 7:38:48 PM

lovingpet

Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline

I'm with others who say it is best to just suck up the consequences for past posts and work hard to change those first impressions. I don't even want to know how much of an idiot I seemed when I first started posting, but I have worked very hard to be someone who was like and respected and (only occasionally, mind you) feared. I have come a long way and I have watch others come up the ranks from humble and even humiliating beginnings. I don't think it is a lost cause and I think, in the interest of honesty, it is better to just stick it out. Some injuries to respect may go deeper than others, but I never really think it is a lost cause so long as someone wants to get back on their horse and keep trying and working at it.

lovingpet

(in reply to PyrotheClown)

Post #: 8

RE: Death By Posting - 8/15/2009 7:46:20 PM

Level

Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline

One can always get a new profile, but unless they learn from whatever fuckup they commited, what's the point?

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to lovingpet)

Post #: 9

RE: Death By Posting - 8/15/2009 8:26:27 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NBCNCO

I dunno.. I guess if you work at it you can gain some respect back but in many cases, yeah, it probably is warranted. I know I've made an enemy or two on here.

The sad thing about it, though, is you can only make one that's truly honest, and that typically is the first one unless you're planning on this happening. So if you're hear to learn anything, you are going to have to start off your second chance by lying so you aren't found out. That doesn't do anybody any good, and that's the reason I just suck it up and drive on.

Enemies here? Highly unlikely. Not unless you've got some stuff in the Politics and Religion section that really stirred the pot. Most of the time, there's a lot of debate, but it's not seen against you as a person.

I don't know about the profile rewriting. A person could just swap their screen name and keep the same text of their profile. Just thinking of that in the context of My own preference. I'd remember the name, but most likely not the content of the profile. Part of that is due to My personal preference of not reading profiles to begin with, unless there is some kind of positive link to do so, either friendship or other potential.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to NBCNCO)

Post #: 10

RE: Death By Posting - 8/15/2009 8:26:39 PM

SirLost

Posts: 142
Joined: 7/5/2009
Status: offline

Reputation is something too hard to gain, so easy to lose. I have been using forums (not this one, of course) for years and can consider myself as the regulars of some of them. First impressions are always important, it is easy to label an user as "the loser whose first post was an insult to Dommes". It can take years for us, who witnessed the fault, to start perceiving the faulty ones as 'redempted'.

Of course all users doesn't lurk in the forums or peek at others' first posts to be able to see the faults of these dead users. But I believe our first posts are going to affect how regulars treat us, and these effect affects (a chain reaction) how our aimed people perceive us. I can explain this with this example:

User A, who is our object as the 'labeled', 'death' user, has actually never done anything faulty yet and he is expressing his thoughts in a respectful manner. X, Y, Z, who are well-known regulars, reply him with the same manner. User T, subject, reads the topic and gets convicted that user A is esteemed.

Alternatively, our other object user B's first post was something that shows his real color, which attracted X, Y and Z's attention. B expresses his thoughts again, maybe the same sentences that A used, but X posts a facepalm, Y posts a "LOL" and Z says he likes X so much. What would T think about B?
(But I believe B would be never able to express his thoughts as A did, because of the things that made him write his first losing post).

That's my two cents.

< Message edited by SirLost -- 8/15/2009 8:28:06 PM >

_____________________________

The best respect is the one that's gained even after they learn your weaknesses.

(in reply to lovingpet)

Post #: 11

RE: Death By Posting - 8/15/2009 8:27:47 PM

pyroaquatic

Posts: 1535
Joined: 12/4/2006
From: Pyroaquatica
Status: offline

Just because you make a new name does not mean you make a new you.

The things that you carry internally are going to have an effect on yourself and others externally. It is a balance mechanism, really.

Red flags go up, criticism is shot out, and hopefully these folks are in it to better themselves.

If something stinks in the state of Denmark would you like to investigate? Objective observation is important in order to judge ones appearance on the world.

A mirror what have you. Sometimes no matter how hard one tries you cannot see yourself.

A Mistake is what a human makes. If a man or woman has claimed to make none I would be quite wary of them.

Imma watchin you.

Ahhh gooftacular.

_____________________________

You are what your deep, driving desire is.
As your desire is, so is your will.
As your will is, so is your deed.
As your deed is, so is your destiny.
-Brihadaranyaka Upanishad IV.4.5

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 12

RE: Death By Posting - 8/15/2009 8:30:26 PM

stella41b

Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline

It probably is, and is one reason I now rarely frequent the Ask My Penis (sorry, Ask A Mistress) section due to all the recursive posting going on there. That and a domme who is so obnoxious I feel she needs a hazardous chemical warning attached to her posts.

Now I know you shouldn't judge someone by what they post, nor even by what is written in their profile, but solely in how they communicate with you directly but I feel that we often do and we form stereotypes. No matter how hard we try certain elements and attitudes slip into our posts and they shape and influence how other people see us.

This is down to ethos, the character in our writing and you can be sure that what lies in our character invariably comes out not just in our postings, but also into our profiles and into our correspondence with others.

_____________________________

CM's Resident Lyricist
also Facebook
http://stella.baker.tripod.com/
50NZpoints
Q2
Simply Q

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 13

RE: Death By Posting - 8/15/2009 8:32:13 PM

SassySarijane

Posts: 1558
Joined: 12/20/2007
From: KC Area Missouri
Status: offline

No I do not think they should create a new profile and nic. I think they should suck it up and deal with the consequences of their actions like grown ups. I'm not perfect. I've done stupid things and made, I'm sure, some stupid posts here, but I did it and I'm fine with dealing with the consequences of choosing to have done it. I don't need to hide behind a new identity because of doing something stupid.

_____________________________

Sarah2
Deviant Mind
Wild Side Readers
LPTnB

(in reply to Level)

Post #: 14

RE: Death By Posting - 8/15/2009 8:36:59 PM

SirLost

Posts: 142
Joined: 7/5/2009
Status: offline

And I've forgotten to say what I think about starting new profiles:

They are doomed to make the same mistakes eventually unless they have really managed changing themselves. They can fool other users, but not the history.

< Message edited by SirLost -- 8/15/2009 8:37:24 PM >

_____________________________

The best respect is the one that's gained even after they learn your weaknesses.

(in reply to SassySarijane)

Post #: 15

RE: Death By Posting - 8/15/2009 8:42:39 PM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b
Now I know you shouldn't judge someone by what they post, nor even by what is written in their profile, but solely in how they communicate with you directly

Why not? It's like seeing how people treat random strangers on the street. How does this person talk to people who are strangers? If he or she is putting the make on you, wants something from you, the verbal affect might be quite a bit different -- and less honest.

"Anonymous" contact can be reveal quite a bit about someone.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to stella41b)

Post #: 16

RE: Death By Posting - 8/15/2009 8:44:01 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b

It probably is, and is one reason I now rarely frequent the Ask My Penis (sorry, Ask A Mistress) section due to all the recursive posting going on there. That and a domme who is so obnoxious I feel she needs a hazardous chemical warning attached to her posts.

Now I know you shouldn't judge someone by what they post, nor even by what is written in their profile, but solely in how they communicate with you directly but I feel that we often do and we form stereotypes. No matter how hard we try certain elements and attitudes slip into our posts and they shape and influence how other people see us.

This is down to ethos, the character in our writing and you can be sure that what lies in our character invariably comes out not just in our postings, but also into our profiles and into our correspondence with others.

Stella, I have to tell you, I got a huge kick out of the highlighted above. Thank you.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to stella41b)

Post #: 17

RE: Death By Posting - 8/15/2009 9:00:38 PM

catize

Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline

quote:

Would you recommend in these cases that a person just create a new profile and start over? Is there such a thing as death by posting?

That would merely be a death of a profile, not the demise of a personality.
If the majority have little or no regard for what or how someone posts, that may effect their decision to continue posting but I doubt it has any important or lasting consequences in their lives.

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 18

RE: Death By Posting - 8/15/2009 9:00:48 PM

stella41b

Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b
Now I know you shouldn't judge someone by what they post, nor even by what is written in their profile, but solely in how they communicate with you directly

Why not? It's like seeing how people treat random strangers on the street. How does this person talk to people who are strangers? If he or she is putting the make on you, wants something from you, the verbal affect might be quite a bit different -- and less honest.

"Anonymous" contact can be reveal quite a bit about someone.

Of course, yes it can, but one of the things WIITWD has taught me is that you don't get to know people by first impressions, second impressions, or getting to know them superficially, but by paying attention to them closely over a period of time.

_____________________________

CM's Resident Lyricist
also Facebook
http://stella.baker.tripod.com/
50NZpoints
Q2
Simply Q

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 19

RE: Death By Posting - 8/15/2009 9:56:30 PM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b
Now I know you shouldn't judge someone by what they post, nor even by what is written in their profile, but solely in how they communicate with you directly

Why not? It's like seeing how people treat random strangers on the street. How does this person talk to people who are strangers? If he or she is putting the make on you, wants something from you, the verbal affect might be quite a bit different -- and less honest.

"Anonymous" contact can be reveal quite a bit about someone.

Yes Red I agree.
It's rather like you bumping right into me because you didn't recognise me and then telling me the collision was because I was emotionally unstable.

_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 20

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