Where have all the good Dom's gone?!

Where have all the good Dom's gone?! (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master

Message

subann51 -> Where have all the good Dom's gone?! (8/16/2009 6:05:02 AM)
I'm having a hell of a time finding TRUE Dom males. How hard can that be on CM? The place is loaded, but no one is sincere. Hey, I'm a woman, big yes, but still a vessel! If your a man how can deal with an intelligent, witty, loving and caring subby, please contact me! Sorry to have been aggressive, but we can deal with that issue later![&:] ann

sirsholly -> RE: Where have all the good Dom's gone?! (8/16/2009 6:08:00 AM)
you have been here for a grand total of about three weeks...so you make your first post as a submissive demanding to be contacted by any/all Doms. Well alllllrighty.....lemme know how this works for you[8\|]

thishereboi -> RE: Where have all the good Dom's gone?! (8/16/2009 6:12:57 AM)
Wow, according to your profile you have been on this site for 3 whole weeks and you haven't found your true dom yet. That is just terrible. Maybe if you could explain exactly what a "true" dom is, we could help ya.

AngelGeena -> RE: Where have all the good Dom's gone?! (8/16/2009 6:15:14 AM)
scratches head I guess that would make me an old maid by now. thunk

RedMagic1 -> RE: Where have all the good Dom's gone?! (8/16/2009 6:17:12 AM)
If your real question is that you don't understand why you're getting a lot of emails that seem more focused on masturbation than relationships, it's probably because (1) your profile is new, and (2) your communication skills are not great. Talk about who you are, not just about your size or your "vessel-hood," and you're more likely to find a human being who happens to be kinkily dominant.

sirsholly -> RE: Where have all the good Dom's gone?! (8/16/2009 6:20:27 AM)
quote: Wow, according to your profile you have been on this site for 3 whole weeks and you haven't found your true dom yet. That is just terrible. ok...now i do not understand it either. Her profile CLEARLY states she is free of vermin. Hmmm...maybe her In-Box is on the fritz....[sm=dunno.gif]

IronBear -> RE: Where have all the good Dom's gone?! (8/16/2009 6:24:36 AM)
Probably the best Masters are already busy with their sub/slaves or live in a location far far away in another galaxy..

DarkSteven -> RE: Where have all the good Dom's gone?! (8/16/2009 6:30:49 AM)
ann, please understand that you are not for everyone. You're 48, which is okay by me (I'm 53) but is older than most Doms here want. You're a BBW, as acknowledged in your profile. I'm not saying that there's anything wrong with those, but it does limit your pool of potential Doms. In other words, expect to search for a while. To give you an idea, I've been looking for over a year, but I think my search is drawing to an end. [:)] One other thing - your profile has an attitude. 1. "I am a super BBW. If you can deal with that, keep reading. If not, block my profile." I don't like taking orders from profiles. 2. " I am not desperate, a common misunderstanding about BBW's. " I don't like profiles lecturing me. 3. "I hope you get what these few words in this small space are saying." I don't like profiles patronizing me.

RedMagic1 -> RE: Where have all the good Dom's gone?! (8/16/2009 6:34:39 AM)
Wow. She doesn't sound like someone I would enjoy having a conversation with. And perhaps you are, Ann. But if your first impression is so off-putting, why should a man give you a chance at a second one? I suggest you start a new thread,. requesting advice about rewriting your profile.

angelikaJ -> RE: Where have all the good Dom's gone?! (8/16/2009 6:47:08 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: subann51 I'm having a hell of a time finding TRUE Dom males. How hard can that be on CM? The place is loaded, but no one is sincere. Hey, I'm a woman, big yes, but still a vessel! If your a man how can deal with an intelligent, witty, loving and caring subby, please contact me! Sorry to have been aggressive, but we can deal with that issue later![&:] ann But that "issue" may be part of the problem. I am nearly your age, and could easily be called a BBW. I am in a wonder-filled relationship with someone who found me here. It is better than perfect; it is real. It took me a year and a half. In the span between joining and meeting Him I met some great people who I feel fortunate to be friends with and had another positive but brief relationship as well. I have met many people here who are sincere. Your description of what you are like is a bit incongruous with how you come across. Even though you are feeling frustrated, it is something you might want to bring an awareness to. Patience is a good trait to develop. Meanwhile, why don't you attend a munch?

cornflakegirl -> RE: Where have all the good Dom's gone?! (8/16/2009 7:57:58 AM)
quote: It took me a year and a half. In the span between joining and meeting Him I met some great people who I feel fortunate to be friends with and had another positive but brief relationship as well. I have met many people here who are sincere. ... Patience is a good trait to develop. Thanks for saying this. I haven't been here long but I feel a bit frustrated at times, too. I feel like I am kissing a whole lot of frogs. Patience is hard!

daddysliloneds -> RE: Where have all the good Dom's gone?! (8/16/2009 8:11:31 AM)
there are plenty of good dominants running around; albeit most of them are in relationships already, too far away, too young, too old, too big, too small, too rich, too poor, have too much time on their hands, don't have enough time on their hands, etc... in other words, there are plenty of good dominants running around, it's finding the ones that fit into our own little human equation that is difficult at best; that's when you find that patience is key and regardless of whether or not you're as big as a cow or as little as a toothpick, there's going to be someone for everyone or not.

DarkSteven -> RE: Where have all the good Dom's gone?! (8/16/2009 8:12:09 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: angelikaJ It took me a year and a half. In the span between joining and meeting Him I met some great people who I feel fortunate to be friends with and had another positive but brief relationship as well. I have met many people here who are sincere. This is a bit of a thread hijack, but... I was about to ask angelika if she enjoyed her searching or thought of it as a grim but necessary task. Then I reread her post and it's obvious that she had a great time chasing Doms. That kind of attitude makes people SO much more fun to talk with.

KyttynTheMynx -> RE: Where have all the good Dom's gone?! (8/16/2009 8:14:56 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: daddysliloneds there are plenty of good dominants running around; albeit most of them are in relationships already, too far away, too young, too old, too big, too small, too rich, too poor, have too much time on their hands, don't have enough time on their hands, etc... in other words, there are plenty of good dominants running around, it's finding the ones that fit into our own little human equation that is difficult at best; that's when you find that patience is key and regardless of whether or not you're as big as a cow or as little as a toothpick, there's going to be someone for everyone or not. Couldnt have said it better...

cornflakegirl -> RE: Where have all the good Dom's gone?! (8/16/2009 8:24:22 AM)
quote: it's obvious that she had a great time chasing Doms. That kind of attitude makes people SO much more fun to talk with. That's a great perspective. One I may have to attempt to adopt. I mostly find dating in general to be difficult and confusing. I should be more playful about it. Ty. :)

OrionTheWolf -> RE: Where have all the good Dom's gone?! (8/16/2009 8:36:25 AM)
Just from reading your question my answer is "Obviously not where you can see them." Now determine whether it is that you are expecting to just be snatched up in a few weeks, or if you are truly interested in finding someone sincere. If it is the latter, how long in life does it take to find someone sincere? Personally from your wording and post, this rushed and cynical attitude would filter you out from being a prospect from myself. maybe look inward and as you are getting to know people, work on and improve the person that you are, so that you come off as a positive and pleasing person that others would want to spend time with.

angelikaJ -> RE: Where have all the good Dom's gone?! (8/16/2009 8:55:24 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven quote: ORIGINAL: angelikaJ It took me a year and a half. In the span between joining and meeting Him I met some great people who I feel fortunate to be friends with and had another positive but brief relationship as well. I have met many people here who are sincere. This is a bit of a thread hijack, but... I was about to ask angelika if she enjoyed her searching or thought of it as a grim but necessary task. Then I reread her post and it's obvious that she had a great time chasing Doms. That kind of attitude makes people SO much more fun to talk with. Lol I was pretty shy and didn't quite chase them... but I was very open to new experiences. My profile (now hidden) was not a typical profile and despite the fact that it didn't contain a bunch of likes/dislikes, it was very much a snapshot of who I am. My encounters with trolls and the other unsavories that so many women here seem to meet was either really low or I was just oblivious to most of them. I never felt bitter or disillusioned. Originally, I was not even seeking a Relationship. I was seeking information and was open to friendship and connection. I found safe people to explore with. And then while I was busy not looking, someone who is local to me sent me an email. The rest is history. The relationship is still new. Is it a happy ending? Not at all... *I like happy middles*. I do believe the journey is every bit as important as the destination. For people who might be new and searching, if you want a Relationship, remember that in D/s as in vanilla it will never be perfect. Your problems won't automatically be solved and there is always more to the story than what they tell in bodice ripper romance novels. Real is often messy. I wouldn't want it any other way. (hijack over) edit typo

RedMagic1 -> RE: Where have all the good Dom's gone?! (8/16/2009 9:00:36 AM)
Angelika, I seem to recall that we emailed about a year ago about Tibetan Bowl meditation music. No sexy stuff, just sharing information. Ann, what kind of music do you listen to? What do you do when you're not a vessel, or a piece of meat?

lizi -> RE: Where have all the good Dom's gone?! (8/16/2009 9:54:58 AM)
OP, it can be frustrating dealing with wankers and the like. In fact I have my profile hidden right now as I get very tired of it at times myself and I'm not really searching at this time anyway. So besides the fact that you'll get the stupid emails what can you do? The other posters have given you some very good ideas. There is a search function at the bottom right of this page that is also a great resource. Reread the suggestions in this thread on improving your profile to attract what you want and continue on by searching for past threads on the subject. You listed some interests in your profile...that is a good start. Add something to the written section about the things you enjoy. In my own profile i put that I enjoy riding motorcycles and have a couple of them and also that I have a background in art. I have more men contact me from those two little tidbits of info than anything else. I do not have a picture up, they're just dropping in to say hi from what they read. Like attracts like. For you to give a negative attitude right off the bat in your profile isn't really in your own best interest. If you seem warm and welcoming you will hopefully start getting a different class of people. The wankers will still be there but that's a constant that you cannot change. Your weight may be a problem. It was for me when I was overweight. THere aren't any instant fixes for that but you can start to work on it- you always have to start somewhere. It took me a while to get to where I'm happy with myself again. Men may not find the extra weight attractive but they tend to view you differently if they know you are dedicated to changing that part of yourself. If you want to know more about what I did just let me know and I'd be happy to cmail you. The age issue came up...I am your age. I have never found that a hinderance in any way. There seem to be plenty of men that find me acceptable at the age that I am. Of course it helps that I am way smoking hot and dont' look my age....hahahaha. Ok, just kidding. More often than not the suitable men that contact me find my attitude and personality the thing that they like and what they are attracted to - or at least that's what I've heard. It must be true in part because I have had a number of aquaintences start and then continue before I ever send out pictures. Good luck in your search...

lizi -> RE: Where have all the good Dom's gone?! (8/16/2009 11:02:22 AM)
Something else occurred to me- are you actively searching for this Dom yourself? I'm wondering if you are reading profiles and sending out personalized emails on your end. If not it may be a great thing to do. It's time consuming but being proactive about your situation sure feels better than waiting on Mr. Right to find you. Let him know you're out there [:D]

Page: [1] 2 3 4 5 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.03125