RE: Is the Female Domination Lifestyle a Failure?

RE: Is the Female Domination Lifestyle a Failure? (Full Version)

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Arillis -> RE: Is the Female Domination Lifestyle a Failure? (8/19/2009 7:31:46 AM)
Wow, the voice of reason in this dreary desolate waist land of internet molded self appointed titles. Indeed there is a great deal each and every man can do to forward the recognizing and accepting of women of dominance but let us not lose sight of the fact that along with dominance comes responsibilities rooted in ethics integrities and righteousness. Neither should we lose sight of the fact that those qualities are for the most part not in evidence. I've re written this because the edit function did not allow me to correct. The operative words were, NOT IN EVIDENCE.

DarkSteven -> RE: Is the Female Domination Lifestyle a Failure? (8/19/2009 7:38:16 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Arillis Wow, the voice of reason in this dreary desolate waist land of internet molded self appointed titles. Indeed there is a great deal each and every man can do to forward the recognizing and accepting of women of dominance but let us not lose sight of the fact that along with dominance comes responsibilities rooted in ethics integrities and righteousness. Neither should we lose sight of the fact that those qualities are for the most part not in evidence. I've re written this because the edit function did not allow me to correct. The operative words were, NOT IN EVIDENCE. Lemme translate. Arillis is stating that some unspecified person's post represents to him a valid viewpoint while others he disagrees with. He also states that he thinks that by and large, Dommes don't exhibit proper ethics. Arillis, being obfuscatory is not a virtue.

lizi -> RE: Is the Female Domination Lifestyle a Failure? (8/19/2009 7:46:49 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven Lemme translate. Arillis is stating that some unspecified person's post represents to him a valid viewpoint while others he disagrees with. He also states that he thinks that by and large, Dommes don't exhibit proper ethics. Arillis, being obfuscatory is not a virtue. Agreed and it can actually make you look like a pontificating ass. Clarity is a much prized virtue in a venue such as this which is why someone like DarkSteven is often admired for the ability to get his point across in a widely understood but minimal choice of words.

lizi -> RE: Is the Female Domination Lifestyle a Failure? (8/19/2009 7:55:46 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: cloudboy You are a part time professional dominatrix. This makes you more than a lifestyle Mistress. According to you, none of your perspective or femdom-malesub characterizations come from professional angles, and that's just a patent falsehood. Having a professional perspective is fine, but denying and pretending you don't have one is misleading. Maybe I'm missing something that was posted here but in my reading of this thread I don't remember anywhere that Akasha purposefully put herself forward as NOT being a professional Domme. I don't really see where it matters either. She's had some very insightful things to say in the thread that I've enjoyed reading. Um....why would her 'professional' status render what she's said as being irrelevant? I wasn't aware of her professional status and now that I am it doesn't change the fact that she's been right on target with her comments. In fact since she's been on both sides of the issue -professional and non professional- perhaps her comments have even more bearing on the original question? Just a thought...

OttersSwim -> RE: Is the Female Domination Lifestyle a Failure? (8/19/2009 7:58:57 AM)
Using Fast Reply to OP.... OhHai! I am a male transgendered submissive in service to a dominant Lady. We have a wonderful relationship that is full of love and has a strong foundation of D/s and BDSM at its core. I have seen, met and become friends with quite a few female Dominant women in my area who are -not- about money, who are 100% real and (most) are in or looking for relationship. Even a few that fancy a girlie bloke like me. Now, I don't think I am somehow living in the Mecca crossroads of female dominance here in Denver...I suspect that there are equal numbers in communities across the country and the world...and I have growing evidence as I have met a few of them! You are on the Internet. This means that any human interest subject is going to have folk out there who are interested in talking/interacting with others. Along with that, you will invariably get folk who want to come in and scam...and those who want to profit from such things. Does not mean that the whole concept is a failure, just that we all need to not abandon our trusty internet filters and apply common sense. Wolves prey on those that are on the fringes, the sick, and those that are too stupid to realize where they are and what their circumstance is. Don't condemn all of female Domination just because it has attracted a few wolves and this is one of their primary hunting grounds...just understand where you are and use common sense to navigate your path here and recognize the wolves on the fringes...

Arillis -> RE: Is the Female Domination Lifestyle a Failure? (8/19/2009 8:10:27 AM)
Pontificating ass, I accept that as your perception of me, and support your right to form any opinion you elect to form so don’t suffer any remorse about expressing your choice.

AAkasha -> RE: Is the Female Domination Lifestyle a Failure? (8/19/2009 8:44:06 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lizi quote: ORIGINAL: cloudboy You are a part time professional dominatrix. This makes you more than a lifestyle Mistress. According to you, none of your perspective or femdom-malesub characterizations come from professional angles, and that's just a patent falsehood. Having a professional perspective is fine, but denying and pretending you don't have one is misleading. Maybe I'm missing something that was posted here but in my reading of this thread I don't remember anywhere that Akasha purposefully put herself forward as NOT being a professional Domme. I don't really see where it matters either. She's had some very insightful things to say in the thread that I've enjoyed reading. Um....why would her 'professional' status render what she's said as being irrelevant? I wasn't aware of her professional status and now that I am it doesn't change the fact that she's been right on target with her comments. In fact since she's been on both sides of the issue -professional and non professional- perhaps her comments have even more bearing on the original question? Just a thought... Well, considering I haven't done any phone sessions on a regular basis since...well, 1997 (lol), it is obvious the guy studies my site very seriously and intensely and it angers him greatly. And yes lizi you are right, it does give me some added perspective, but to be honest, it's been so little - and I mean, minuscule - a part of my financial status compared to my career, it's laughable. Since he likes to post links all the time back to my site and is very snide, I welcome anyone to just search his name here and see how obsessed he is with following me around - it's creepy. The continued exposure for my site is nice though, as I make it a point to not self-promote. Now I will get a huge influx of requests for phone domination so let me say it up front:: They are by appointment only and my next availability is in October. Because I do one every 5 - 6 weeks! Akasha

AAkasha -> RE: Is the Female Domination Lifestyle a Failure? (8/19/2009 9:00:03 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LaTigresse quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact Completely agreed, Steven. I could list scores of sub males who were snatched up quickly because they were genuine in submission and service. Something that those who are hoping to find a fetish delivery service do not experience. Yes, and there are a few young men, that are relatively new to the forums, I expect to see grabbed quite quickly. I know of the few guys you're referring to (which of us ladies have not noticed them - their presence is so exciting and refreshing!) and I agree - they will not be single for long, or without a "play partner" for long. In fact, because lifestyle femdoms are SO inundated with "do me" subs, when a guy comes along who is not like that, he receives a lot of attention. To be honest, I can almost deal better with the "do me" subs (they have ALWAYS been there -buzzing around like flies and just an annoying minor distraction) - it's the group of arrogant blohards - apologies for being blunt - who seem to think that having a spine and not being a wet blanket means being arrogant how it should be done, who are sniping constantly at the women around here. I've noticed an increase in it lately to be honest, and my theory is that the lavish attention and fawning these few new "good subs" are getting is making a group of "old time regulars" here (subs) all bent out of shape and bitter and they channeling some serious resentment toward women because after all these years of 'showing people how it is done' in these and other forums, they are still single yet a few guys come innocently along and ask a few simple questions and are the cat's meow. Akasha

cloudboy -> RE: Is the Female Domination Lifestyle a Failure? (8/19/2009 9:08:59 AM)
quote: Maybe I'm missing something that was posted here but in my reading of this thread I don't remember anywhere that Akasha purposefully put herself forward as NOT being a professional Domme. I don't really see where it matters either. She's had some very insightful things to say in the thread that I've enjoyed reading. Um....why would her 'professional' status render what she's said as being irrelevant? I wasn't aware of her professional status and now that I am it doesn't change the fact that she's been right on target with her comments. In fact since she's been on both sides of the issue -professional and non professional- perhaps her comments have even more bearing on the original question? Just a thought... She is a good poster and writer. No quarrel there. Her content is often on target, too. But she also has a record of denying her professional status, and setting herself out as only a lifestyle Domme. If I were a professional sub -- say serving or interacting with 10-15 ladies a year -- and I were also married with a day job, that does not make me just a lifestyle sub. In addition to that, if I began to generalize about women and BDSM -- many if not most of my insights would come from my professional status wherein I'm engaged with several ladies. In the end, my professional status would be a heavy component of all things BDSM. So, if someone here then said, "You are not just a lifestyle sub, you are a professional sub and you need to acknowledge that status without equivocation," -- I'd answer, "That's true and a lot of my experiences are based in that." The relevance here is that it goes to the issue of the commingling of professional services and the CM web site. That's what has the OP all up-in-arms.

OttersSwim -> RE: Is the Female Domination Lifestyle a Failure? (8/19/2009 9:13:22 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: cloudboy But she also has a record of denying her professional status, and setting herself out as only a lifestyle Domme. This is not true. Look at her signature. I knew from the first post I saw from her months ago that she did some pro work. And it frankly begs the question - "So the Fuck What?"

AAkasha -> RE: Is the Female Domination Lifestyle a Failure? (8/19/2009 9:19:56 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: cloudboy quote: Maybe I'm missing something that was posted here but in my reading of this thread I don't remember anywhere that Akasha purposefully put herself forward as NOT being a professional Domme. I don't really see where it matters either. She's had some very insightful things to say in the thread that I've enjoyed reading. Um....why would her 'professional' status render what she's said as being irrelevant? I wasn't aware of her professional status and now that I am it doesn't change the fact that she's been right on target with her comments. In fact since she's been on both sides of the issue -professional and non professional- perhaps her comments have even more bearing on the original question? Just a thought... She is a good poster and writer. No quarrel there. Her content is often on target, too. But she also has a record of denying her professional status, and setting herself out as only a lifestyle Domme. If I were a professional sub -- say serving or interacting with 10-15 ladies a year -- and I were also married with a day job, that does not make me just a lifestyle sub. In addition to that, if I began to generalize about women and BDSM -- many if not most of my insights would come from my professional status wherein I'm engaged with several ladies. In the end, my professional status would be a heavy component of all things BDSM. So, if someone here then said, "You are not just a lifestyle sub, you are a professional sub and you need to acknowledge that status without equivocation," -- I'd answer, "That's true and a lot of my experiences are based in that." The relevance here is that it goes to the issue of the commingling of professional services and the CM web site. That's what has the OP all up-in-arms. Wow. Considering that I do not allow - under ANY circumstances - a potential personal sub to pay a dime in expense, including toys, travel or meals (it's a thing of mine, to not feel 'obligated', and I also enjoy paying for things, even if I have not met a guy yet), that's amazing. If anything, my status allows me to afford to pay for these things (and my relationship with my favorite toy vendor because I am constantly ordering gear from them). If I am courting a guy, I don't even let him pay HALF. It is as if you believe that if a woman is compensated (fairly, up front, in a transaction manner) for ANYTHING related to femdom, despite what her career is, she's not to be trusted in a femdom dynamic, even if she never sees a dime of that man's money and instead she pays for everything. And it doesn't matter when/how the professional part fit in. So ladies that includes book authors, those who get paid to present at events, and those who make and sell their own toys - ALL of you fit into the category the OP is complaining about. Well, wait, I have to amend that. A sweet boy I am currently lusting for sent me - on a few occasions and AT MY DEMAND - a coffee crisp candy bar from Canada, but he was sending something else he made as a sweet gift and begged to be able to include some kind of present. I've sent him about $300 of toys so far and am placing another "order" today... :) As I pointed out in another post, it's not the 'do me' wannabe subs that burn me out, it's guys like this. Ladies are trying to explain to a guy who came along and asked if a natural femdom dynamic works and here's an 'old timer' trying to accuse me of not being in a legitimate femdom relationship (try telling that to my husband, whose ass is sore today) because I made the decision to stop letting people steal my erotica after 10 years and made my site membership based instead of free. Akasha

AAkasha -> RE: Is the Female Domination Lifestyle a Failure? (8/19/2009 9:33:10 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OttersSwim quote: ORIGINAL: cloudboy But she also has a record of denying her professional status, and setting herself out as only a lifestyle Domme. This is not true. Look at her signature. I knew from the first post I saw from her months ago that she did some pro work. And it frankly begs the question - "So the Fuck What?" "So the fuck what" indeed - I'll drop this since he seems to be making my point for me. I can only assume, on SOME level, he thinks that my posting my opinions, my experiences and sharing my ideas is all manufactured marketing in an effort to promote my tiny little web site that generates, sometimes, enough money to pay for itself. And as a marketing professional by trade, who gets paid considerable amounts of money by big clients to raise their visibility, I think it's fairly obvious even to the most GREEN marketing pro that the way I present myself on forums - here, and for the last 15 years (before my site existed) is 100% authentic. If I wanted to raise my web site memberships by 20% strictly from collarme, I could do that - that's marketing "preschool" for me. Do you see me on here championing everyone's kink and saying, "Oh that's SO HOT! I am into that TOO!" - do you see me telling every sub what he wants to hear? Do you see me posting extremely erotic, hot sections of my stories in EVERY thread (I could find something on topic in every thread, I am sure, that I have written about, so it's not spam)? My presence here could be so overwhelming that I'd pluck the newbies like shooting fish in a barrel. I am not afraid to state my opinions even if subs don't agree with me. It almost makes me want to do it for a week to show him what that really looks like. At least everyone would be in on the joke. Akasha

sweetsub1957 -> RE: Is the Female Domination Lifestyle a Failure? (8/19/2009 9:50:39 AM)
Wow. Where did all this Aakasha-bashing come from? Aakasha, it sounds like cloudboy really has it out for you.....I've seen it time & time again & I'm sure I'm not the only one. I think he has too much time on his hands. btw, Coffee Crisps are incredible! Yum yum.

AAkasha -> RE: Is the Female Domination Lifestyle a Failure? (8/19/2009 9:56:07 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sweetsub1957 Wow. Where did all this Aakasha-bashing come from? Aakasha, it sounds like cloudboy really has it out for you.....I've seen it time & time again & I'm sure I'm not the only one. I think he has too much time on his hands. btw, Coffee Crisps are incredible! Yum yum. Yes they are! I only wish Tim Horton's iced caps could be sent via mail..but sadly, they can't. I have to make the haul to get the real thing!! And yeah, his obsession is borderline creepy as I have stated but he can keep at it, it shows more about him than anything. I don't mind the added attention about my site either, every time he goes on one of these rants my web traffic skyrockets. If I ever go to an ad-based model I hope he sticks around to follow my posts and put up links constantly, it's great for visibility. Akasha

cloudboy -> RE: Is the Female Domination Lifestyle a Failure? (8/19/2009 11:06:13 AM)
quote: Wow. Considering that I do not allow - under ANY circumstances - a potential personal sub to pay a dime in expense, including toys, travel or meals (it's a thing of mine, to not feel 'obligated', and I also enjoy paying for things, even if I have not met a guy yet), that's amazing. If anything, my status allows me to afford to pay for these things (and my relationship with my favorite toy vendor because I am constantly ordering gear from them). If I am courting a guy, I don't even let him pay HALF. This is not in dispute. I never claimed you don't have lifestyle femdom interests, I've just made the point that you are also a professional dominatrix. You always downplay this as if it does not exist. Simple point. No bashing. I'm happy for you. Two thumbs up. On a thread like this, though, the downplay is more noticeable and relevant. My point is narrow, which is that all your observations and comments about sub males don't come entirely from lifestyle experiences -- especially b/c you've been married for so long long (that's great!! good career -- that's great too!!) -- so some of your thinking must come from the professional side. I don't get what's so controversial about this.

cloudboy -> RE: Is the Female Domination Lifestyle a Failure? (8/19/2009 11:08:19 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sweetsub1957 Wow. Where did all this Aakasha-bashing come from? Aakasha, it sounds like cloudboy really has it out for you.....I've seen it time & time again & I'm sure I'm not the only one. I think he has too much time on his hands. btw, Coffee Crisps are incredible! Yum yum. Where is the bashing? Could you point me to it, so that I could see it for myself? Chasing a white whale for an admission it won't ever make, maybe, well that might certainly be true. You're right about one thing, too, business is slow..... and I've got too much time to kill. (I've been down this road before, and I know it does not result in a meeting of the minds.)

sweetsub1957 -> RE: Is the Female Domination Lifestyle a Failure? (8/19/2009 11:27:43 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: cloudboy Where is the bashing? Could you point me to it, so that I could see it for myself? Okay. Bashing may have been an inaccurate term, so I will re-phrase. OBSESSING is more like it. You seem to, in my opinion that is, have this NEED to get in digs every time you can about Her being a "professional dominatrix," like it's a bad thing or something, as if it's supposed to invalidate every opinion She has. Wherever She is, you seem to find Her & get in another dig. In real time, that would be called stalking or harrassment. Oh. By the way, it's YOUR links that made me go find Her website. Thanks!! I bet Her biz is booming, thanks to YOU. lmao ~edited to add the second paragraph~

OttersSwim -> RE: Is the Female Domination Lifestyle a Failure? (8/19/2009 11:40:29 AM)
Perhaps he really likes her and this is his form of tribute...

AAkasha -> RE: Is the Female Domination Lifestyle a Failure? (8/19/2009 11:54:01 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sweetsub1957 quote: ORIGINAL: cloudboy Where is the bashing? Could you point me to it, so that I could see it for myself? Okay. Bashing may have been an inaccurate term, so I will re-phrase. OBSESSING is more like it. You seem to, in my opinion that is, have this NEED to get in digs every time you can about Her being a "professional dominatrix," like it's a bad thing or something, as if it's supposed to invalidate every opinion She has. Wherever She is, you seem to find Her & get in another dig. In real time, that would be called stalking or harrassment. Oh. By the way, it's YOUR links that made me go find Her website. Thanks!! I bet Her biz is booming, thanks to YOU. lmao ~edited to add the second paragraph~ Hmm sweetsub has a point. Lots of other regular posters who are in 'real power exchange relationships' have some business or product they promote yet he doesn't follow them around to clarify every time they talk about their personal lives, does he? A few come to mind -- slave kal - "The Courage to Submit: the submissive male's guide to finding a dominant woman" http://www.lulu.com/browse/preview.php?fCID=5043162 BoiJen: http://www.clips4sale.com/studio/23459 (I think this is recent for BoiJen - sorry hun, you just went from legitimate lifestyler to pro, your opinions are now less valid) And sweet LucyLastic - she gets lumped into the 'not being up front about her status' category when she gives ideas too? Visit my Lair... BDSM Toys& Fetish Gear http://www.lucylasticslair.com/xstore And former posters like John Warren, who writes books for money And I think littlesarbonn has a link in his sig to a book, or books, he has written, I am sure they are not free... Why isn't cloudboy following up all their posts pointing out their status? And to try to nullify my experiences with single, submissive men because I am married is ridiculous, considering his experience being pursued by single, submissive men is -----> ZERO. I wonder what % of his posts are directly related to me. It does drive a ton of traffic to my site. Akasha

littlesarbonn -> RE: Is the Female Domination Lifestyle a Failure? (8/19/2009 12:34:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AAkasha And I think littlesarbonn has a link in his sig to a book, or books, he has written, I am sure they are not free... Hey, thanks for reminding me. That company that published it ripped me off and hasn't sent me a nickle for a single copy sold, even though I've actually been asked to sign copies that people have bought. Didn't realize I needed that crap out of my signature. So, I guess in a way it was "free". ::snicker::

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