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ORIGINAL: lapis

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ORIGINAL: DestinyCommander


But keep in mind, it must really have been a promise. Simply to have said you'll do something is not a promise.

then what is it?

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The decisions belong to Himself and if I have to sit here and second guess the meaning of his words to me, if I can't trust those words to be true and accurate, then the decisions become mine to make, the interpretation becomes my will rather than his.

I can't tell you the number of times I've heard someone say to me.. "I'm going to kill you!" I don't believe it because I've heard it so many times and I'm not dead yet, so I never take it seriously. If you want to be taken at your word, your word damn well better be good or, to me, you're nothing but a big joke.

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ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

I must say that I'm truly stunned by the number of people who don't believe their word needs to be good if it's given to a slave or submissive. Saying you will do something, but not making it a 'promise' is simply a loop hole in a semantical game. An excuse to talk the talk but not walk the walk and quite frankly, I think it's bullshit.

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if I don't carry through on my promises then why should a sub of mine believe me when I state that something is a boundery or a task and that there will be consequences if the boundery is crossed or the task not compleated? If I she knows I carry through on my word then she doesn't even need to test those limits as she already knows I mean what I say.

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ORIGINAL: angelic

If they are truly 'promises' and they are constantly broken... as Oothers have stated... it begins to deteriorate the relationship. True promises should not be made or broken lightly and most certainly not on a regular basis.

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ORIGINAL: Elegant

Im amazed at the people who consider promises only to be recognizable and intended if the statement contains the words 'I promise'.

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ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

I must say that I'm truly stunned by the number of people who don't believe their word needs to be good if it's given to a slave or submissive.

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ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

Saying you will do something, but not making it a 'promise' is simply a loop hole in a semantical game. An excuse to talk the talk but not walk the walk and quite frankly, I think it's bullshit.

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ORIGINAL: RavenMuse

If you know you don't have the self-discipline to carry through on a promise then why make the promise in the first place? Why be dishonest about it..... to get a quiet life? To stop her nagging about it? Those are excusses I've heard from Vanillas but why would a Dom use them, why not say "Hell no the truck can wait to be fixed because I have other plans tomorrow!"

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ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

I must say that I'm truly stunned by the number of people who don't believe their word needs to be good if it's given to a slave or submissive. Saying you will do something, but not making it a 'promise' is simply a loop hole in a semantical game. An excuse to talk the talk but not walk the walk and quite frankly, I think it's bullshit. Why say you're going to fix the truck then not do it? Why not just say, "I may try to work on the truck tomorrow." What's the big deal?

If you want to be taken at your word, your word damn well better be good or, to me, you're nothing but a big joke.

This thread has opened my eyes in quite a few ways.. been educational to say the least.

Celeste

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And here I disagree. Not every word spoken MUST be a promise. Saying you'll do something is NOT the same as PROMISING to do it.

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Anyone who thinks the two are equal must take intense care with every word they ever mutter. It must be exhausting!

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ORIGINAL: swtnsparkling

A Promise is like having a baby- easy to make, harder to deliver

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ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

I must say that I'm truly stunned by the number of people who don't believe their word needs to be good if it's given to a slave or submissive. Saying you will do something, but not making it a 'promise' is simply a loop hole in a semantical game. An excuse to talk the talk but not walk the walk and quite frankly, I think it's bullshit. Why say you're going to fix the truck then not do it? Why not just say, "I may try to work on the truck tomorrow." What's the big deal?

Celeste

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ORIGINAL: slavejali

I agree, that was pretty much my point, breaking their word or a promise, just eats way at the foundation of the relationship and of the D/s dynamic. It becomes like "oh yeah, ive heard that before". Submissives/slaves arent robots and they arent supposed to be doormats, their submissive nature (although innate) however is almost provoked, or "brought out" by their Dominant/Master, through their words and actions and how they are dealing with the submissive/slave.

A lot of how a submissive feels, or the depth she drops into her submissiveness a lot of the time is a reflection on the Dominant himself and his ability to Dominate.

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ORIGINAL: RavenMuse

Personaly it is part of a much bigger picture. Trust, self-discipline and respect something I expect of friends as well as of partners. IMO it is also part of something many here use quite happily, before you master someone else you should first master yourself.

If you know you don't have the self-discipline to carry through on a promise then why make the promise in the first place? Why be dishonest about it..... to get a quiet life? To stop her nagging about it? Those are excusses I've heard from Vanillas but why would a Dom use them, why not say "Hell no the truck can wait to be fixed because I have other plans tomorrow!"

More on topic.... if I don't carry through on my promises then why should a sub of mine believe me when I state that something is a boundery or a task and that there will be consequences if the boundery is crossed or the task not compleated? If I she knows I carry through on my word then she doesn't even need to test those limits as she already knows I mean what I say.

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ORIGINAL: phoenix1

so true, angelic... the natural consequences are always the most motivating to all... if a Master cares if his slave trusts him and sees him as a man who has honor, integrity and can be trust... he will want to monitor and check how well he is doing with following through on what he says he will do... be it comment or promise...

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ORIGINAL: DestinyCommander
I say I'm going to do something because I want to get it done. But sometimes it doesn't happen, and having said it doesn't make it a promise. Why should I exercise extreme control over every word I speak just in the event I change my mind? And why should I let someone else call what I say a promise, just so they can hold it over me when I do change my mind?

So if everything a Master says to his slave is a promise, how can he say things that he's allowed to change his mind about? Should such statements be explicitly qualified with "I don't promise"?

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ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

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ORIGINAL: angelic

If they are truly 'promises' and they are constantly broken... as Oothers have stated... it begins to deteriorate the relationship. True promises should not be made or broken lightly and most certainly not on a regular basis.

In addition, even if the words 'i promise' are NOT put in front of a sentence and it is just 'Your' (generic Your) word and Your word changes (on a regular basis) just because "You beat on Your chest and proclaim I am Master... You are slave... therefore, I can do whatever I choose too" is imo bullhockey.

i understand you are likely referring to abuse of power here but the truth is, he IS Master and CAN do what he wants.

There are consequences, however. If a Master prefers a slave who serves happily, and eagerly, he would be wise to foster that in her and in doing so, he would instill trust in her. It is logical to me that he would best benefit from happy and trusting service, so would invest accordingly to receive such.

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ORIGINAL: IronBear
I would expect nothing less than that form you me old China. One of the old school. Salute'