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RE: Flaws - 8/25/2009 2:40:15 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline 		Im completely PERFECT!!!!

Ok, well except for bumping into that car this morning.
Oh yea, and I wore my sweater inside out today and one brown shoe and one white shoe.
Then I can have these mood swing that if not under control...well only real friends tolerate it.
But other than that I am completely perfect in EVERY way!

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to daintydimples)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Flaws - 8/25/2009 2:40:26 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Now, as far as the OP.

I see a couple important factors when it comes to human flaws.

In myself, I do my very best to be objective and see the good, the bad, and the downright ugly. I accept my weaknesses and work on them. Some things that others see as faults, I rather like, so do not try to change them. The key, for me, is in constantly striving to be the best ME I can be while being totally honest with myself.

As for flaws in others, it is human. I expect it. I try to hope for the best but know that in being human, there is great weakness and often deep fears. Our weaknesses and fears usually create additional issues. Some of which have been displayed rather well in this thread.

People read what is written here, and view the world, through their own personal filters. I know that their filters may be extremely different from my own. Just because they are different, does not make them always wrong. Those filters can create a lot of misunderstandings and animosity.

As long as I do not allow other peoples issues, flaws, whatever you want to call them, to distort my expectations, it's all good.

The biggest mistake we all make is in ignoring flaws, both in ourselves and in others. OR in hyper focusing on them. Either path is destructive.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Flaws - 8/25/2009 2:41:01 PM   
lally2


Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Leiren

quote:

ORIGINAL: porcelaine

not a minute passes when someone isn't handing out advice about a situation they're not directly involved in.

porcelaine



Not to be snarky, but the OP set herself up for replies she might not want to integrate. I dislike 'victims' that repeatedly come onto forums stating that all their problems are a result of someone else just not 'understanding' them.

If a person is unable to clearly articulate what is they're looking for and what is they hope to achieve, then is it any surprise that they can never find what they claim to want?



... but who appointed you spokesperson for pointing out other people for public ridicule.


< Message edited by lally2 -- 8/25/2009 2:47:49 PM >

(in reply to Leiren)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Flaws - 8/25/2009 2:41:44 PM   
LillyoftheVally


Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

The biggest mistake we all make is in ignoring flaws, both in ourselves and in others. OR in hyper focusing on them. Either path is destructive.




Very true LAT, and the latter is often forgotten, sometimes we have to accept who/what we are, which is not always easy

_____________________________

'My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.'

Nah I am not happy to see you either

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Flaws - 8/25/2009 2:46:10 PM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline 		I got rid of my last flaw July 18th at 7:42pm. I'm perfect in every way now. I have my ascension scheduled for Oct 14th, but they've already pushed the schedule back twice. It's worse than trying to get cable installed.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to Prinsexx)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Flaws - 8/25/2009 2:46:47 PM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CallaFirestormBW

I find people who are genuine in their nature appealing. I don't consider being a submissive individual a "flaw" -- but I -do- see perpetual victimization as a flaw. The difference, for me, is when one uses one's nature (submissive) to justify staying in situations that are clearly patently unhealthy, or repeating unhealthy choices even when one has had ample opportunity to see that ABC just isn't working.   I might give it a go... but as in my pastoral care client above, there may come a point where it becomes apparent that a particular individual is so attached to a flaw or set of flaws that xhe's incorporated it into hir self-identity so deeply that it will never be 'ironed out', regardless of the amount of time spent training, the depth of the training program, or the level of support given by the household.


I've picked out two things you say Dame Calla from extracts from what you say above:
~I find people who are genuine in their nature appealing~.
~particular individual is so attached to a flaw or set of flaws that xhe's incorporated it into hir self-identity~
simply to remark upon an observation that many people I know are both genuine and attached to their flaws. I'm attracted to Adlerian theory and its smplicity (although I find it difficult to forgve him for his views on homosexuality). But the concept of private logic is an interesting one. The mechanism whereby as younf children we make false but nevertheless powerful logical assumptins about ourslves.
During training amny years ago I was working with a fellow: he in the role of client, me in the role of 'Adlerian'. Indeed his story was that he was re-training to be a therapist because of his disillusionment with teaching. This was based on a statement he had over heard some 5th years making as they passed him in the school's corridor. He geard them say: that bloke has no sense ogf humour.
Now the childhood memory he started to recount to me was a a memory of his elder brotther (sibling order) during the brother's 10th birthday party. My 'client' (aged 7) had come downstairs and tried to stand on the sofa to tell a joke at his brother's party. His elder brother punched him on the nose and said: I do the jokes. I'm the funny one around here.
He went on to confess that that this sole incident affected him so powerfully as a child that he made a logical decision to become an academic and a teacher...to be the 'clever one'.
And the conclusion was that he had been running with this private logic, this flawed logic ever since.
Absolutely sincere and insightful.  A private logic that amounted to 2 + 2 = 3... self-derpeacting and diminishing.



_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to CallaFirestormBW)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Flaws - 8/25/2009 2:49:47 PM   
LillyoftheVally


Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

I got rid of my last flaw July 18th at 7:42pm. I'm perfect in every way now. I have my ascension scheduled for Oct 14th, but they've already pushed the schedule back twice. It's worse than trying to get cable installed.


Hehehehe proper laugh out loud moment, thank you.

_____________________________

'My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.'

Nah I am not happy to see you either

(in reply to leadership527)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Flaws - 8/25/2009 2:52:37 PM   
OrionTheWolf


Posts: 7803
Joined: 10/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

Do you see yourself as perfect?

 
No. Perfect is an ideal that is unattainable, or a mathematical equation that does not reflect reality. Perfect can be used as a bar of excellence, such as being as perfect as possible, which equates to being the best we can be.
 
quote:


Do you see yorself as flawed?


No. When I was younger and an angry young man, I used to think so but I have accepted and taken ownership of the things I have wanted to change, changed some of them and working on changing others. A few I have accepted as part of my unique self, and those are no longer flaws.

quote:


Do you expect perfection in others?


No, but I do expect them to be the best that they can. I do not accept excuses, especially where failure is involved, but I can be understanding. There is a huge difference that many people miss. I can understand, but not excuse, is a quote of mine.

quote:


If no what flaws can you handle, what flaws are actually appealing?


If I view it as a flaw, there is nothing appealing about it. If I view it as a unique part of someone or myself, it depends on what it is. Being blunt and straight forward may be seen as attractive in one person, but a flaw in someone else that has very little social skills.

quote:


What IS the 'gold standrad' you are using?


My standard is simple, but complex: Is it pleasing to me and beautiful?

quote:


If you are D type would you train, iron out those flaws in an s type?

 
If it is bad habits then those can be trained out. If it is personality flaws, then that is a monumental task and it would depend on who it is. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy works very well if the recipient is open to and admits the things that need to be changed. Some have their issues so ingrained into them, they need professional assistance in tackling them. I have already ran into that situation once, and hope I was able to give the person a few things that helped them, but in the end they had issues that needed professional assistance.

quote:


(And I'm flawed ok...and this is not a thread about how I should  deal with that or that I need therapy. That's a bit of a stck record?)


You are the one that puts things out here for people to judge. No one owes anyone anything else, even courtesy. If you do not want to be judged by the masses then just share those things with select people, or keep it to yourself. If they are severe enough to cause problems with your life, then professional assistance may be needed. This is not a slam, it is a fact.

Own your issues, and do not let them own you.

_____________________________

When speaking of slaves people always tend to ignore this definition "One who is abjectly subservient to a specified person or influence."

(in reply to Prinsexx)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Flaws - 8/25/2009 2:53:28 PM   
Leiren


Posts: 206
Joined: 8/16/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lally2

... but who appointed you spokesperson for pointing out other people for public ridicule.



Simplicity. No one appointed me to judge anyone. I rely on common sense and the OP seems to have very little of that going for her.

I now see that LaTigresse, and several others who've been around longer than me are joining forces to shut me up.

How lovely. And with that, the rest of you are on your own to feed delusions as you see fit.


_____________________________

We have forgotten how to walk softly on the earth as its other creatures do.

(in reply to lally2)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Flaws - 8/25/2009 2:58:29 PM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: olena

Do you see yourself as perfect? No one is perfect and I am not even close.

Do you see yourself as flawed? We are all flawed including me. Most of us fail when we judge ourselves by our intentions and not our actions but almost always judge others strictly by their actions often without any context.

Do you expect perfection in others? No I do not and agree with some others who wrote this is a disease in this society. It is a victim mentality and manipulative on the part of the person expecting perfection or certain minimum standards of behavior. A person trying to control stranger’s behavior or even non strangers by using their emotions as weapons or judge needs to look inside themselves and not look at others for why they feel the way they do.

If no what flaws can you handle, what flaws are actually appealing? I can handle flaws of passion, of someone that cares so much about something as long as it does not actually hurt someone and I do not mean words hurting.



Do you see yourself as flawed? We are all flawed including me. Most of us fail when we judge ourselves by our intentions and not our actions but almost always judge others strictly by their actions often without any context.
I read and reread this and I think it is very wise. Thank you.


_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to olena)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Flaws - 8/25/2009 3:05:05 PM   
lally2


Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline 		Leiren, we have an option that is 'simplicity' itself.  in the top left corner of each thread is the option to 'hide' if you find someones post so annoying you just press the hide button relating to any post written by that poster and bingo, they dissappear from youre screen forever.

saves you ever having to make snarky comments about anyone ever again -

(in reply to Leiren)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Flaws - 8/25/2009 3:06:12 PM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TearsofLove92

I'm far from perfect. I'm an evolving form. At one point, I was looking for the final stage of my evolution, the final level that would label me the best. I think a lot of people make that mistake, looking for their own final form that would seperate them from the crowd.

If there was a "final form" to a human, I'd be darn close to it right about now, as I know what I want, have what I need, and know where and how to get whatever else I desire. I know me, I'm happy with me, and that in turn opens the door to relationships, namely the one I've been looking for with that one special girl. The door is open, I just need to find it to finally pass to the other side.

I often appreciate people for their flaws rather than the "perfect" stuff about them. Flaws are in general commonly shared between lots of people, but it's how one individual handles their own personal flaws is what I look for. Everybody has a different take on things, well, different enough to be called different, at least.

I expect nothing but the truth from others, period. Lying isn't a flaw. Lying is a choice, and if made against me, the person becomes a past mistake, never to be lived again, to be thought of only for the purpose of learning, and then forgotton.

Appealing flaws would all depend on the person, as many people can make the bad be good, and the good be bad in themselves, and others.


You say:

I often appreciate people for their flaws rather than the "perfect" stuff about them

and it's interesting the meaning, the weight, the assumptions different people give to the word 'flaw'. Since I do not live in a world of perfectionism EXCEPT the world of other people's perfectionism which  have internalised...then I attach weight to the term 'flaw' in differening ways. Some days my flaws are perfect in themselves, Sometimes they preoccupy me until I do what it is that I can to get rid of the flaw; gym workout for example, or weights.
There was no sense of shame attached to the conclusive statement I made to my friend. Indded the conversation went along these lines...she said I see myself as flawed. And i said I do not see you as flawed in any way.
For me it's an internal process rather than one of striving to change myself to change in order to reach someone's unobtainable standard. It had become a deal breaker on many occassions both in vanilla marriages and Master/slave relationships where and when i have not been prepared to internalise their standard of 'perfect'.


_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to TearsofLove92)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Flaws - 8/25/2009 3:07:12 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline
quote:

Nuff about that, though. JMO, put Prinsexx doesn't really come across as having the credentials she claims to have. Maybe she DOES. But if so, she's not applying her 'skills' to her own life.


As a pshyc major in college, i saw many off kilter proffesors. We are all human and we all have issues. To be a therapist one must have objectivity with others and not engage in Transferance or Counter-transferance behaviors. So long as they dont treat themselves they are fine.

However being open makes one a target. I would like to see how you would fair under a microscope and judgement from others? Or is one of your faults your rigidity and close minded jugements?



_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to RapierFugue)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Flaws - 8/25/2009 3:08:18 PM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TurboJugend

quote:

You cant spell, use correct grammer and all your relationships are online disasters.


I don't think relations and grammar are related though

You're right....
Arthritic hands from years of flute playing have never stopped me giving the perfect hand job.


_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to TurboJugend)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Flaws - 8/25/2009 3:10:30 PM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lally2

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leiren

quote:

ORIGINAL: frazzle

You claim to be a qualified therapist.

You cant spell, use correct grammer and all your relationships are online disasters.

The only replies you listen to are the ones that validate what you think!!!!

Look at yourself, then you may find the answers, and please God dont try and advise anyone else.


Thank you, Frazzle!

You expressed what I was hesitant to say to the OP since I've only been registered here for a short time. But, in that time, I've read many of her posts. Again, thank you! You summed up what I was grasping to say.




clearly you two think youre perfect enough to make personal attacks. booyah to you. 

.... niether of these comments contribute in any way atall, i wonder at people who take such trouble to be so phucking unpleasant

Does this mean that all marriage guideance clinics are full of dyslexics?


_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to lally2)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Flaws - 8/25/2009 3:10:47 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Leiren

quote:

ORIGINAL: lally2

... but who appointed you spokesperson for pointing out other people for public ridicule.



Simplicity. No one appointed me to judge anyone. I rely on common sense and the OP seems to have very little of that going for her.

I now see that LaTigresse, and several others who've been around longer than me are joining forces to shut me up.

How lovely. And with that, the rest of you are on your own to feed delusions as you see fit.



I believe you need to do more reading if you think I am going to join forces or if you believe I am taking sides.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to Leiren)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Flaws - 8/25/2009 3:11:55 PM   
Leiren


Posts: 206
Joined: 8/16/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lally2

Leiren, we have an option that is 'simplicity' itself.  in the top left corner of each thread is the option to 'hide' if you find someones post so annoying you just press the hide button relating to any post written by that poster and bingo, they dissappear from youre screen forever.

saves you ever having to make snarky comments about anyone ever again -


But see? You and LaTigresse would like that too much. Too many people who've read the OP's post are more than willing to enable her in her victim status.

To me, she's not so much as a victim as a predator who tries to hide behind being an s-type. And as long as the rest of you indulge her, she'll never become introspective as to what she's doing to sabotage her own relationships.

Without her taking a long hard look at herself, she's never going to progress beyond the 'woe is me, victim stage'.




_____________________________

We have forgotten how to walk softly on the earth as its other creatures do.

(in reply to lally2)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Flaws - 8/25/2009 3:13:19 PM   
LillyoftheVally


Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19
However being open makes one a target. I would like to see how you would fair under a microscope and judgement from others? Or is one of your faults your rigidity and close minded jugements?


In which case maybe Prins actually doesn't need defending. It is something I am struggling with because I think some responses here have been overly harsh, however you are right if Prins puts it out there then she is more than aware of what she will get back.

_____________________________

'My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.'

Nah I am not happy to see you either

(in reply to lusciouslips19)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Flaws - 8/25/2009 3:15:57 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Leiren

quote:

ORIGINAL: lally2

Leiren, we have an option that is 'simplicity' itself.  in the top left corner of each thread is the option to 'hide' if you find someones post so annoying you just press the hide button relating to any post written by that poster and bingo, they dissappear from youre screen forever.

saves you ever having to make snarky comments about anyone ever again -


But see? You and LaTigresse would like that too much. Too many people who've read the OP's post are more than willing to enable her in her victim status.

To me, she's not so much as a victim as a predator who tries to hide behind being an s-type. And as long as the rest of you indulge her, she'll never become introspective as to what she's doing to sabotage her own relationships.

Without her taking a long hard look at herself, she's never going to progress beyond the 'woe is me, victim stage'.






Asking people if they view themselves a s flawed and how is a very interesting psychological question. One that you yourself havent answered. Are you afraid to show us and reveal yourself or are you going to continue to crticize someone whos life has no impact on you?


< Message edited by lusciouslips19 -- 8/25/2009 3:17:01 PM >

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to Leiren)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Flaws - 8/25/2009 3:16:19 PM   
Apocalypso


Posts: 1104
Joined: 4/20/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Leiren
I now see that LaTigresse, and several others who've been around longer than me are joining forces to shut me up.
ZOMG PEOPLE ARE DISAGREEING WITH ME ON THE INTERNET ITS JUST LIKE STALIN'S RUSSIA.

I'm not trying to shut you up.  I'm making fun of you.  In case that wasn't clear.


_____________________________

If you're going to quote from the Book of Revelation,
Don't keep calling it the "Book of Revelations",
There's no "s", it's the Book of Revelation,
As revealed to Saint John the Divine.

(in reply to Leiren)
Profile   Post #: 60
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