Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Oral Sex - A Submissive Act?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Oral Sex - A Submissive Act? Page: [1] 2 3 4 5   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Oral Sex - A Submissive Act? - 2/26/2006 8:30:05 AM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		It's Sunday morning and I am thinking about oral sex... *g*

I am interested in other people's opinions on this question. Is oral sex a submissive act?

For myself it is not at all. I do not "feel" submissive at all when I perform oral sex for my Lord. I love doing it and I feel powerful and in control. He is often non-verbal and lost in sensation and all because of me. It is a major turn-on! On the rare occasions that he performs oral sex on me, I in no way see that as a submissive act either. When a sadist has his teeth on my clit, I am quickly reminded of who is in control!


So what are other people's thoughts on this?


Knight's kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Oral Sex - A Submissive Act? - 2/26/2006 8:34:02 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		No, but I know a hell of al ot of people in the scene think it is.

An act is neither submissive nor dominant. It's somehow dominant for a dom to give the slave pleasure through flogging, but somehow not dominant if they give the slave pleasure through oral sex? Explain that standard?

It is our feelings on something and ideals that make an act dominant or submissive, nothing inherent to the act. If oral sex is on your "subs only" list, then go for it. But for me, I think it's denying a lot of connection and pleausre on ALL sides to not do something because you feel your orientation demands it.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to kyraofMists)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Oral Sex - A Submissive Act? - 2/26/2006 8:40:15 AM   
yourMissTress


Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		Oral sex in and of itself is not a submissive act. There can be elements added such as being commanded to do it, wearing a pussy collar, is the receiver being passive or aggressive while receiving or taking as the case may be, that will make one feel more submissive while doing it.

On the rare occasion that I would have a cock in my mouth the boy it was attached to would not be completely assured of it remaining so.

_____________________________

Tress


"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother


(in reply to kyraofMists)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Oral Sex - A Submissive Act? - 2/26/2006 8:43:08 AM   
fergus


Posts: 1110
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline 		In my experience, women (in the vanilla world) tend to see performing oral as a NOT being a submissive act, while men see it being performed on them as a submissive act.

And it seems like the opposite with performing orla on a woman ... men see doing it as submissive, and women see their men doing it as them being submissive.

Says I, whatever your perspecitve, it is a win-win for all ;)

fergus

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Oral Sex - A Submissive Act? - 2/26/2006 8:45:32 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

No, but I know a hell of al ot of people in the scene think it is.

An act is neither submissive nor dominant. It's somehow dominant for a dom to give the slave pleasure through flogging, but somehow not dominant if they give the slave pleasure through oral sex? Explain that standard?

It is our feelings on something and ideals that make an act dominant or submissive, nothing inherent to the act. If oral sex is on your "subs only" list, then go for it. But for me, I think it's denying a lot of connection and pleausre on ALL sides to not do something because you feel your orientation demands it.


I couldn't agree much more on this point.

Objects, acts, activities, colors, all these "things" are not innately connected to submissive or domininant or male or female. The connection is in our minds.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Oral Sex - A Submissive Act? - 2/26/2006 8:46:50 AM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		Morning kyra...nice way to start my sunday off.... coffee... and oral sex conversations. LOL Gotta love mornings like this.. I know I do.

No.. as a submissive I so do not find oral sex a submissive act. Actually.. to me.. it's my reward. Do not get me wrong... (Lord petruchio is going to get his confirmation now.. lol) I like most.. love sex but can do without it.. if allowed to give oral to Master. LMAO.. just call me a old fashion cock sucker. But then again, I'm not down there bobbing up and down. I'm having fun!!!
Enjoying, savoring, feeding.... when i'm allowed to go at it... I'm in my own little world..Sometimes Master has to literally pull me off to get my attention.

Submissive act?.. No, not in my book......

Heaven?... most assured... in my book.....

Edited to add: Statement came out wrong... I like most love sex.... but its ME (not most) that can live with out it... I was refering strictly to myself in that statement.. sorry.

< Message edited by truesub4u -- 2/26/2006 8:50:13 AM >

_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

(in reply to kyraofMists)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Oral Sex - A Submissive Act? - 2/26/2006 8:47:47 AM   
maybemaybenot


Posts: 2817
Joined: 9/22/2005
Status: offline 		I absolutely concur, kyra. I have always seen performing oral sex as an in control position. I can make him purr or groan, slide or slam and even silence him for a moment.
I adore looking up watching his expression as I envoke every sensation that is causing the re action.

Now, I think we need to hush on this one before we blow our submissive cover

mbmbn

_____________________________

Tolerance of evil is suicide.- NYC Firefighter

When tolerance is not reciprocated, tolerance becomes surrender.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Oral Sex - A Submissive Act? - 2/26/2006 8:56:18 AM   
MistressOfGa


Posts: 2929
Status: offline
quote:

But then again, I'm not down there bobbing up and down. I'm having fun!!!
Enjoying, savoring, feeding.... when i'm allowed to go at it... I'm in my own little world..Sometimes Master has to literally pull me off to get my attention.

I am not in any way, shape or form a submissive, however, I can really relate to what you wrote here truesub. I LOVE going down on my sub. It is a VERY powerful place to be. But I dont do it for the power, I dont do it to make him feel good. I do it for ME. If he is enjoying it, fine, but make no mistake, I do it for me. I love the scent, the taste and the texture. It is an event in itself. Of course those little whimpers I hear through the ball gag doesnt bother me in the least <s>

_____________________________





(in reply to truesub4u)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Oral Sex - A Submissive Act? - 2/26/2006 9:04:07 AM   
KittenWithaTwist


Posts: 490
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline 		I love giving oral sex, but I don't consider it "being in control" because I know that it's him shoving me around, him controlling my movements, and his decision whether or not and how and where to climax.

_____________________________

"Time travel: It's a cornocopia of disturbing concepts." ~Ron Stoppable

(in reply to kyraofMists)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Oral Sex - A Submissive Act? - 2/26/2006 9:08:53 AM   
michaelGA


Posts: 1194
Status: offline 		i love oral...as long as it's with a woman...i won't allow for any man to do it and i won't do it for any man...my preference

_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to KittenWithaTwist)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Oral Sex - A Submissive Act? - 2/26/2006 9:08:59 AM   
Shayna


Posts: 205
Joined: 1/16/2005
Status: offline 		I think it's whatever meaning those involved in the act give it. To me it's not submissive at all, whether I'm top or bottom (I'm a switch), giving or receiving.

(in reply to maybemaybenot)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Oral Sex - A Submissive Act? - 2/26/2006 9:10:40 AM   
Veryleggyredhead


Posts: 27
Joined: 2/5/2006
From: Tampa
Status: offline 		Is an act of nurturing for me.

(in reply to Shayna)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Oral Sex - A Submissive Act? - 2/26/2006 9:13:38 AM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		I agree with some of kitten's statement here...... I do see it as being in control either. I don't want to be in control of Master.. though I want him to enjoy. I get so lost in my own little world while being given this honor to be allowed to feed on my Master... I for one still see this as him being in control... not me.

He doesn't have to command me to suck either... so therefore still don't see it as a submissive act either.. all he has to say is.. "feeling hungry?" and i'm on me knees before he can blink!

_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

(in reply to KittenWithaTwist)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Oral Sex - A Submissive Act? - 2/26/2006 9:45:07 AM   
Sunshine119


Posts: 611
Joined: 8/8/2005
Status: offline 		With the possibility of doing a "Lorena Bobbit" on him at any time? Hell no! I wouldn't consider it a submissive act! I know he does though, and that makes it all the more sweet. I love sucking his cock. I love becoming intoxicated with his smell. Shhh! But I don't tell him how much *I* do it for me....lol! Hmmmm.....but then would he ever consider it a punishment and NOT allow me to perform oral sex on him? Ummm....I think he enjoys it far too much!

_____________________________


Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

(in reply to kyraofMists)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Oral Sex - A Submissive Act? - 2/26/2006 9:50:03 AM   
Littlepita


Posts: 1430
Joined: 10/6/2005
Status: offline 		I think oral sex is both powerful and an act of worship. I get a lot of power in giving a man oral and making him lose himself in the sensations I am giving him. I also see it as worship since I love his cock and want to pour myself into what I am doing to please him.

_____________________________

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” – Anais Nin

(in reply to Sunshine119)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Oral Sex - A Submissive Act? - 2/26/2006 9:57:57 AM   
Cloudz


Posts: 836
Joined: 9/13/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists

It's Sunday morning and I am thinking about oral sex... *g*

I am interested in other people's opinions on this question. Is oral sex a submissive act?

For myself it is not at all. I do not "feel" submissive at all when I perform oral sex for my Lord. I love doing it and I feel powerful and in control. He is often non-verbal and lost in sensation and all because of me. It is a major turn-on! On the rare occasions that he performs oral sex on me, I in no way see that as a submissive act either. When a sadist has his teeth on my clit, I am quickly reminded of who is in control!


So what are other people's thoughts on this?


Knight's kyra


kyra,

I cannot add much to this topic. I am in complete agree with MistressofGA..but she said it first, so I can only nod and concur.

My inital thought on reading this and many of your other posts, was that you are a credit to HIM...both in your thoughts and in your questions.




_____________________________

Enjoy the Journey,
~Cloudz

"Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain."


(in reply to kyraofMists)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Oral Sex - A Submissive Act? - 2/26/2006 10:11:20 AM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		I agree with LA. No act is inherently dominant or submissive. PEOPLE are dominant or submissive. Whether an act is an expression of dominance or submission (or neither) depends on the people and the situation.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Oral Sex - A Submissive Act? - 2/26/2006 10:44:29 AM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cloudz

kyra,

I cannot add much to this topic. I am in complete agree with MistressofGA..but she said it first, so I can only nod and concur.

My inital thought on reading this and many of your other posts, was that you are a credit to HIM...both in your thoughts and in your questions.





Thank you for the compliment.

kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to Cloudz)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Oral Sex - A Submissive Act? - 2/26/2006 10:55:31 AM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KittenWithaTwist

I love giving oral sex, but I don't consider it "being in control" because I know that it's him shoving me around, him controlling my movements, and his decision whether or not and how and where to climax.


Whether he lays back and allows me to please him or is grabbing me by the hair and manhandling me, I still feel powerful and not the least bit submissive. Maybe it is the attitude that I have and how much I enjoy doing it...

I should also make the distinction between oral sex on a man and on a woman. Performing oral sex on a woman, can make me feel very submissive since it is not something that I enjoy and will rarely do it until instructed to. Then it is something that I do to please my Lord and not because I get any pleasure or satisfaction out of it.


kyra


_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to KittenWithaTwist)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Oral Sex - A Submissive Act? - 2/26/2006 11:20:44 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: truesub4u

Morning kyra...nice way to start my sunday off.... coffee... and oral sex conversations. LOL Gotta love mornings like this.. I know I do.




i was sipping my coffee, read this, and almost spit it out, laughing....okay i can continue reading now....lmao

(in reply to truesub4u)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2 3 4 5   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Oral Sex - A Submissive Act? Page: [1] 2 3 4 5   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.141