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RE: Oral Sex - A Submissive Act? - 2/26/2006 11:25:10 AM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
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Okay, now that i have read the thread....

Anything i do for him feels submissive, because i do what i do with a submissive heart. i know it pleases him, and while i love love love giving him oral sex, i work very hard at it too, knowing exactly what techniques please him best.

Sometimes it feels even more submissive, when he grabs my head or hair, particularly in conjunction with looping his finger through the ring on my "working collar", and basically uses me to get off in/on. Or when i am laying on my back and he is over me, fucking...(tmi?).....

Yep, it's a submissive act, for me!!

(in reply to kyraofMists)

Post #: 21

RE: Oral Sex - A Submissive Act? - 2/26/2006 11:28:45 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
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I gotta agree with og, here, it is an internal thing, I don't think that the fact that you wanna gobble it like a turkey time to time precludes your being dominant.

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 22

RE: Oral Sex - A Submissive Act? - 2/26/2006 11:29:31 AM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

No, but I know a hell of al ot of people in the scene think it is.

An act is neither submissive nor dominant. It's somehow dominant for a dom to give the slave pleasure through flogging, but somehow not dominant if they give the slave pleasure through oral sex? Explain that standard?

It is our feelings on something and ideals that make an act dominant or submissive, nothing inherent to the act. If oral sex is on your "subs only" list, then go for it. But for me, I think it's denying a lot of connection and pleausre on ALL sides to not do something because you feel your orientation demands it.

LA i agree it is our feelings and idea that make things what they are - - great point.

Re: flogging being for the submissive...i can only speak for Master and i, but he flogs me for HIM, not for me. He loves the control of the strokes, knowing exactly how i will respond, knowing he can cause me pleasure or pain, or mix them up. He loves that he can control how hot i become as a result, and that it is for HIM i lust as a result. He loves that he can render me a crying heap on the floor, depending on which flogger and how hard and long he flogs.

As for the Dom giving his sub oral....it can be a dominant act particularly if he controls/denies her orgasm...or it can be a gift of appreciation. Or maybe it is a selfish act for himself, because he likes her flavor and wants to please himself with it....just some options to consider.... Great question though!

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 23

RE: Oral Sex - A Submissive Act? - 2/26/2006 11:35:11 AM

truesub4u

Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
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OWNED!... damn i hate when you make me have to change my previous statements... LOL

Ok.. while I'm feeding on Master.. to me it's not a submissive act. But when he decided to "take over" guiding me by my hair..or have me lay back while he's over me... feeding me... then I feel more submissive... and love it.

But when he lets me.. go at it on my own.... no.. I do it to please him... while having a shit pot full of fun myself. He loves when I want to feed... play... savor... be there awhile. Not to just get him up and going.. or for quick release. Though quick release is sometimes his pleasure.. so be it then. It's time like that also I do feel submissive... and I have to admit.. sometimes I get mixed feelings afterwards.. more like... i'm glad he found pleasure... sad it's all over with now.. LOL

_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 24

RE: Oral Sex - A Submissive Act? - 2/26/2006 11:36:47 AM

nonuts4thshoney

Posts: 550
Joined: 6/12/2005
From: Southern California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: truesub4u

Morning kyra...nice way to start my sunday off.... coffee... and oral sex conversations. LOL Gotta love mornings like this.. I know I do.

OMG now i'm gonna be thinking of Master all day in such a dirty dirty way! LOL!!

Is oral sex a submissive act for me? Nope not at all. Just quite the opposite. i feel very in control when performing oral sex on Master. i get to do it the way i do it and Master lovesssssss every minute of it. Hehehehehe

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 25

RE: Oral Sex - A Submissive Act? - 2/26/2006 12:08:14 PM

wolffeathers

Posts: 315
Joined: 8/6/2005
From: Clearwater
Status: offline

Hmm...I enjoy giving my slave the pleasure of oral.

I have never seen that as either submissive or Dominate.

As has been stated, it's not the act, but the way the act is done.

The slave rarely goes down without my order to do so.

It's that simple.

In that way, it becomes an act of my Dominance.

_____________________________

It's my way or the highway. Just happens that the highway is on my way.

~Master Wolf

(in reply to nonuts4thshoney)

Post #: 26

RE: Oral Sex - A Submissive Act? - 2/26/2006 12:09:27 PM

SimplyV

Posts: 351
Joined: 11/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: fergus

In my experience, women (in the vanilla world) tend to see performing oral as a NOT being a submissive act, while men see it being performed on them as a submissive act.

And it seems like the opposite with performing orla on a woman ... men see doing it as submissive, and women see their men doing it as them being submissive.

Says I, whatever your perspecitve, it is a win-win for all ;)

fergus

I agree with Fergus as far as how its percieved in the normal nilla world... however it can be done submissively or Domly as required per situation. I have been in control at times while oral was performed on me, and at times I've been controlled by the oral performed on me.

Due to some personal/past issues, I cannot perform on a man unless I am in complete control. When, Where, How, etc. He cannot move, or touch me in any way while I'm doing it. My former Masters were all aware of this and ok with it (those that weren't ok with it, weren't even considered). It is one of my demons I have yet to fully beat.

V

(in reply to fergus)

Post #: 27

RE: Oral Sex - A Submissive Act? - 2/26/2006 12:19:40 PM

Wildfleurs

Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists

It's Sunday morning and I am thinking about oral sex... *g*

I am interested in other people's opinions on this question. Is oral sex a submissive act?

For myself it is not at all. I do not "feel" submissive at all when I perform oral sex for my Lord. I love doing it and I feel powerful and in control. He is often non-verbal and lost in sensation and all because of me. It is a major turn-on! On the rare occasions that he performs oral sex on me, I in no way see that as a submissive act either. When a sadist has his teeth on my clit, I am quickly reminded of who is in control!

So what are other people's thoughts on this?

Knight's kyra

I have to say for me, when I perform oral sex on my owner it is completely about submission and worshipping. I think for me, similar to anal sex it definitely carries some undertones of submission.

C~

_____________________________

"Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid." -despair.com

~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The heart of it all - http://www.wildfleurs.com
~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

(in reply to kyraofMists)

Post #: 28

RE: Oral Sex - A Submissive Act? - 2/26/2006 1:57:11 PM

MasterOwnskitty

Posts: 97
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline

Whether I give or receive oral sex, I enjoy it. I do enjoy the feeling of control when I'm using my mouth but I feel the same receiving while guiding her head and using her mouth.

(in reply to kyraofMists)

Post #: 29

RE: Oral Sex - A Submissive Act? - 2/26/2006 2:13:25 PM

Misstoyou

Posts: 1149
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline

Is oral sex a submissive act?

When I get, yes, because it's only when I allow and desire it.

When I give, no, because it's only when I desire to, and he has no choice but to allow.

_____________________________

~ Miss Marie

a.k.a. "mean Lady"

(in reply to kyraofMists)

Post #: 30

RE: Oral Sex - A Submissive Act? - 2/26/2006 2:22:45 PM

alandraofMists

Posts: 187
Joined: 8/4/2005
Status: offline

*grins at sis*

i do understand your distinction between oral sex with a woman or with a man... for me i am the complete opposite of you sis in these feelings. For me giving oral sex to our Lord has a submissive feeling to it as it is something that i do not enjoy or want to do.

*evil grin*

now on the other hand... oral with a female... brings out so many thoughts and wants of Topping that *winks* it is some times better to have our Lord there so that i stop while she is still able to move... mind you that might be why i am playing in the first place.

In my opinion, like others here, the act in and of itself is not Dominant or submissive but the thoughts and feelings that one is doing the act is what decides if it is Dominant or submissive.

Knight's alandra

(in reply to kyraofMists)

Post #: 31

RE: Oral Sex - A Submissive Act? - 2/26/2006 2:41:00 PM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

Is oral sex a submissive act?

It's part of our power dynamic and just one more activity which he controls, same as a flogging or my doing the dishes right after dinner because that's what he has decided. He says when and where and I say "yes, Sir". As I enjoy serving him how he deems I should, I enjoy oral sex if that's what he wants. I also enjoy doing the dishes in the same way but I certainly do enjoy doing one of those two more than the other. :)

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to kyraofMists)

Post #: 32

RE: Oral Sex - A Submissive Act? - 2/26/2006 2:46:00 PM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

..but I certainly do enjoy doing one of those two more than the other. :)

Celeste

I am going with she enjoys doing the dishes best!!!

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to BitaTruble)

Post #: 33

RE: Oral Sex - A Submissive Act? - 2/26/2006 2:53:39 PM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

I am going with she enjoys doing the dishes best!!!

Slipping your hands into warm, sudsy water, the faint trail of heat raising out of the sink .. the perfumed assault of lemons wafting up to your nose which causes you to inhale just a bit more deeply.. unconsciously almost .. the clean sparkle of a freshly scrubbed plate, held and touched by Himself just a short time ago, trailing your sponge over the sharp edge of your favorite knife.. knowing that one wrong move and the red of your own blood will ooze forth ....

what's not to love? ::chuckles:: ;)

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to KnightofMists)

Post #: 34

RE: Oral Sex - A Submissive Act? - 2/26/2006 4:14:01 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
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Damn, Celeste just made dish washing arousing...

(i actually find it rather relaxing to do dishes)

(in reply to BitaTruble)

Post #: 35

RE: Oral Sex - A Submissive Act? - 2/26/2006 4:23:18 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

Isn't it strange, or perhaps not so, how we come away from things with different perspectives?
the only thing I remember about washing dishes when I was young was the rash on my forearms from the soap...........

I have never equated it with head.

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 36

RE: Oral Sex - A Submissive Act? - 2/26/2006 4:49:44 PM

Petruchio

Posts: 1615
Joined: 2/6/2005
Status: offline

trusub and littlepita and others encapsulate it well. (I KNEW it, trusub!)

Oral sex CAN be seen as submission just at it can be construed as an act of dominance as well, but it doesn't have to be either. An underground newspaper called the East Village Other carried an article on this once and the opinions were wide and varied.

I was *ruined* early on by my first real girlfriend who always climaxed from fellatio… everything but sucking was a distraction for her. I've been surprised how many girls seem to have that capability.

There seemes to be 'a zone', kind of like sub-space, but something all its own. And even if a girl doesn't climax via fellatio but strokes herself while sucking, that's a turn-on too– a masturbatory fantasy.

If we both find it intoxicating, if we both love it… who cares what anyone thinks. It's all about feelings anyway.

(in reply to truesub4u)

Post #: 37

RE: Oral Sex - A Submissive Act? - 2/26/2006 4:55:13 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
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Alas, Petruchio; I must withdraw your dominance card from the guild, that was just too plain and forthright............

A curse on both our houses!!!!!!!

LOL,
Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to Petruchio)

Post #: 38

RE: Oral Sex - A Submissive Act? - 2/26/2006 4:59:18 PM

truesub4u

Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

Petruchio... i hate when you make me break out my damn dictionary... LOL

(looking up the word fellatio)

_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

(in reply to Petruchio)

Post #: 39

RE: Oral Sex - A Submissive Act? - 2/26/2006 5:01:16 PM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

(looking up the word fellatio)

::chuckles while True increases her vocabulary::

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to truesub4u)

Post #: 40

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