Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Own Worst Enemy


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Own Worst Enemy Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Own Worst Enemy - 2/26/2006 1:51:13 PM   
MasterOwnskitty


Posts: 97
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline 		My advice, for what it's worth, is to take your time with this person and get to know him. Eventually, the truth will come out and I believe you'll know in your heart who he is to you. I really hope all good circumstances come your way and you'll become happier as a result.

(in reply to angelic)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Own Worst Enemy - 2/26/2006 1:58:11 PM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse

quote:

ORIGINAL: angelic
that is why, Sir.. if He is not comfortable in giving it out then if i ask, i have then put Him in a position that He will be uncomfortable with.

ok thinking this thru, i suppose i could just give Him my phone number... if He choses to call that is His choice.


Wrong, you are removing his chance to make a choise by not telling him it is something that would help a problem you are having. If he is not ready to give you his number then he should have no problem in saying exactly that.

Look at the Doms you respect around here.... would any of them have a problem with saying no if they wished to? Would that cause them any discomfort? or would you think they would say no tell you why and move on with the conversation?

How would IronBear react?, KoM?, Myself?

Personaly if you thought it would help you get over the trust issue even slightly then I wouldn't just think you had a right to ask, I would say you had a duty to mention it.... You can't expect him to read your mind dear.


I tend to give out my phone number pretty freely. The only restriction is I have to be comfortable the recipient is someone with whom Libby would feel comfortable talking.

While most of the time the people to whom I give the phone number are calling for advice and such, I'd suggest to Angelic she may be putting the cart before the horse feeling so "taken" by a man before she's even heard his voice. This is part of my general suggestion to people to keep back the intensity of feeling before they really "know" the other person.

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to RavenMuse)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Own Worst Enemy - 2/26/2006 2:15:25 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

i'm trying LOL... and as you said it has only been a week (egads i just wondered what He would think if He saw all of this)... He would run for the freaking hills and Wwho could blame him? lol


Might be the best thing in the world.. point out this thread to him and see what happens. Right now, you haven't invested that much time. If you really think he'll run for the hills by this expression, let him.. that's better for you. Then you just move on, no harm, no foul. If he doesn't run for the hills.. that's better for you as well. Win-win, even if it doesn't appear that way when they run.

I really like what RavenMuse posted to you as well... sensible, realistic and down to Earth. ::and I'm not saying that just because he's one of my other favorite posters either!::

quote:

Personaly if you thought it would help you get over the trust issue even slightly then I wouldn't just think you had a right to ask, I would say you had a duty to mention it.... You can't expect him to read your mind dear.



Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to angelic)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Own Worst Enemy - 2/26/2006 2:15:41 PM   
angelic


Posts: 1807
Joined: 1/24/2005
Status: offline 		thank Yyou Aall for Yyour comments!!! it is truly appreciated!

_____________________________

~....and once you have tasted flight, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to return.~ -- Leonardo de Vinci


(in reply to JohnWarren)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Own Worst Enemy - 2/26/2006 2:22:57 PM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren
I tend to give out my phone number pretty freely. The only restriction is I have to be comfortable the recipient is someone with whom Libby would feel comfortable talking.


Quite. The young lady I am getting to know had my mobile number within a week of us first getting in touch. Basicaly as soon as I realised things had some real potential to go to what we both seem to be looking for.

quote:

This is part of my general suggestion to people to keep back the intensity of feeling before they really "know" the other person.


Even I find that bit difficult John. Maybe it is because this part is something I am not used to doing on-line and things usualy (Well usualy for me) have had the opportunity to move at a much faster pace in the real world. But to do things safely you have to make yourself take things at a slower speed.

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to JohnWarren)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Own Worst Enemy - 2/26/2006 2:26:11 PM   
Littlepita


Posts: 1430
Joined: 10/6/2005
Status: offline 		What let me know my Sir was for real was how honest he was. Once we decided to give this lifestyle and us a try he immediately told me I could ask him anything and he would tell me. Also once we decided we had to be together he wasted no time in taking steps to make that happen.

So like the others have said it takes time and asking a lot of questions then evaluting the answers. Also most important of all is to really listen to your heart. What is it telling you? Be honest with yourself and him and hope for the best.

_____________________________

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” – Anais Nin

(in reply to RavenMuse)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Own Worst Enemy - 2/26/2006 2:38:12 PM   
powerless1


Posts: 9
Joined: 2/25/2006
Status: offline 		I am new here and perhaps don't know as much as most. I can relate to your concern because I come from a very abusive relationship that ended in his attempt to try to kill me (truly). It took me a long time to stop being a victim and regain my self confidence, but believe it or not, it was another relationship that helped me work through the pain.

I have experienced your hesitation and can relate. I understand when you say "it's not my place" to get his phone number. When I have been in similar situations, I simply say the following (after, of course, being given permission to speak if needed): "If it is your wish Sir, may we exchange phone numbers so that Sir may call me on the telephone if he needs me and so that I may do the same?"

Usually, this type of question opens the door for discussion on the issue and often will prompt him to lay out the ground rules as to when you are to call, how often, etc.

(in reply to angelic)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Own Worst Enemy - 2/26/2006 2:42:20 PM   
angelic


Posts: 1807
Joined: 1/24/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

quote:

i'm trying LOL... and as you said it has only been a week (egads i just wondered what He would think if He saw all of this)... He would run for the freaking hills and Wwho could blame him? lol


Might be the best thing in the world.. point out this thread to him and see what happens. Right now, you haven't invested that much time. If you really think he'll run for the hills by this expression, let him.. that's better for you. Then you just move on, no harm, no foul. If he doesn't run for the hills.. that's better for you as well. Win-win, even if it doesn't appear that way when they run.

I really like what RavenMuse posted to you as well... sensible, realistic and down to Earth. ::and I'm not saying that just because he's one of my other favorite posters either!::

quote:

Personaly if you thought it would help you get over the trust issue even slightly then I wouldn't just think you had a right to ask, I would say you had a duty to mention it.... You can't expect him to read your mind dear.



Celeste


Actually bitatruble i have thought about doing just that. i cannot expect Aanyone to read my mind as Yyou said. Bottom line if i wish to be treated fairly, i most certainly should treat Another the same way.




_____________________________

~....and once you have tasted flight, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to return.~ -- Leonardo de Vinci


(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Own Worst Enemy - 2/26/2006 2:44:24 PM   
angelic


Posts: 1807
Joined: 1/24/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren


quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse

quote:

ORIGINAL: angelic
that is why, Sir.. if He is not comfortable in giving it out then if i ask, i have then put Him in a position that He will be uncomfortable with.

ok thinking this thru, i suppose i could just give Him my phone number... if He choses to call that is His choice.


Wrong, you are removing his chance to make a choise by not telling him it is something that would help a problem you are having. If he is not ready to give you his number then he should have no problem in saying exactly that.

Look at the Doms you respect around here.... would any of them have a problem with saying no if they wished to? Would that cause them any discomfort? or would you think they would say no tell you why and move on with the conversation?

How would IronBear react?, KoM?, Myself?

Personaly if you thought it would help you get over the trust issue even slightly then I wouldn't just think you had a right to ask, I would say you had a duty to mention it.... You can't expect him to read your mind dear.


I tend to give out my phone number pretty freely. The only restriction is I have to be comfortable the recipient is someone with whom Libby would feel comfortable talking.

While most of the time the people to whom I give the phone number are calling for advice and such, I'd suggest to Angelic she may be putting the cart before the horse feeling so "taken" by a man before she's even heard his voice. This is part of my general suggestion to people to keep back the intensity of feeling before they really "know" the other person.


i very much respect what You are saying, Sir. Thank You for Your suggestions.


_____________________________

~....and once you have tasted flight, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to return.~ -- Leonardo de Vinci


(in reply to JohnWarren)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Own Worst Enemy - 2/26/2006 2:48:04 PM   
angelic


Posts: 1807
Joined: 1/24/2005
Status: offline 		btw RavenMuse is also one of my favorite posters. He's honest, upfront, straightforward and i've yet to see Him be unkind to another.

_____________________________

~....and once you have tasted flight, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to return.~ -- Leonardo de Vinci


(in reply to angelic)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Own Worst Enemy - 2/26/2006 3:03:02 PM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline 		Ladies, thank you for the compliments. I don't blush like IB but I guess I best go be unkind to someone now before you two ruin my street cred

*Picks up a stick to beat someone with*

Oh on second thoughts.... knowing the folks around here they would only enjoy it!

*Puts stick away*



_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to angelic)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Own Worst Enemy - 2/26/2006 3:04:29 PM   
angelic


Posts: 1807
Joined: 1/24/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse

Ladies, thank you for the compliments. I don't blush like IB but I guess I best go be unkind to someone now before you two ruin my street cred

*Picks up a stick to beat someone with*

Oh on second thoughts.... knowing the folks around here they would only enjoy it!

*Puts stick away*




ROFLMAO... i rest my case... He put the stick away

_____________________________

~....and once you have tasted flight, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to return.~ -- Leonardo de Vinci


(in reply to RavenMuse)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Own Worst Enemy - 2/26/2006 3:23:31 PM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: angelic
ROFLMAO... i rest my case... He put the stick away


For some folks here, me putting the stick away would be the unkindest thing I could do!

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to angelic)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Own Worst Enemy - 2/26/2006 3:25:48 PM   
Cloudz


Posts: 836
Joined: 9/13/2005
Status: offline 		angelic,

In truth this post is probably more for me than for you, I doubt I can add any insights you have not already heard. I understand the excitement and the swept off my feet feeling that you are probably on the verge of.

I understand wanting to put your "best" submissive foot forward, and not wanting to cross any boundaires...but sweetie a week into it? If I remember your posts right you came across as a very strong lady, submissive but not willing to take any crap in the name of Dominance...may I suggest you re-read some of your earlier thoughts and ideals to reaquaint your self with yourself.

Chances are excellent you will engage a few wankers, some of them are quite good at manipulation and playing the part. A voice on the phone will at least be able to reassure you that it is indeed a male you are dealing with. A phone number will tell you if he is indeed in the area he claims. Two questions down..1 million to go. Enjoy the journey, but do not leave yourself behind at the first rest area!

I was tempted to cut and paste KoM's comments and tell you that I agree with every word, thinking maybe you could hear it better from a female Dominant than a male. Be well, but above all...be true to yourself.

_____________________________

Enjoy the Journey,
~Cloudz

"Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain."


(in reply to angelic)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Own Worst Enemy - 2/26/2006 3:35:29 PM   
angelic


Posts: 1807
Joined: 1/24/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cloudz

angelic,

In truth this post is probably more for me than for you, I doubt I can add any insights you have not already heard. I understand the excitement and the swept off my feet feeling that you are probably on the verge of.

I understand wanting to put your "best" submissive foot forward, and not wanting to cross any boundaires...but sweetie a week into it? If I remember your posts right you came across as a very strong lady, submissive but not willing to take any crap in the name of Dominance...may I suggest you re-read some of your earlier thoughts and ideals to reaquaint your self with yourself.

Chances are excellent you will engage a few wankers, some of them are quite good at manipulation and playing the part. A voice on the phone will at least be able to reassure you that it is indeed a male you are dealing with. A phone number will tell you if he is indeed in the area he claims. Two questions down..1 million to go. Enjoy the journey, but do not leave yourself behind at the first rest area!

I was tempted to cut and paste KoM's comments and tell you that I agree with every word, thinking maybe you could hear it better from a female Dominant than a male. Be well, but above all...be true to yourself.


thank you for your kind words...

i am not yet 'swept' off my feet... my feet, arms and legs are very firmly gripping, clutching and hugging tightly the treetop owned spoke of. LOL




_____________________________

~....and once you have tasted flight, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to return.~ -- Leonardo de Vinci


(in reply to Cloudz)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Own Worst Enemy - 2/26/2006 4:44:26 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: angelic

i am not yet 'swept' off my feet... my feet, arms and legs are very firmly gripping, clutching and hugging tightly the treetop owned spoke of. LOL





LOL i hear there's a breeze comin'......

(in reply to angelic)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Own Worst Enemy - 2/26/2006 5:10:34 PM   
angelic


Posts: 1807
Joined: 1/24/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie


quote:

ORIGINAL: angelic

i am not yet 'swept' off my feet... my feet, arms and legs are very firmly gripping, clutching and hugging tightly the treetop owned spoke of. LOL





LOL i hear there's a breeze comin'......


lmfao.. it may take a freakin' hurricane to get me off this tree


_____________________________

~....and once you have tasted flight, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to return.~ -- Leonardo de Vinci


(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Own Worst Enemy - 2/26/2006 5:12:28 PM   
angelic


Posts: 1807
Joined: 1/24/2005
Status: offline 		Sincerely, though... thank Yyou Aall... this is why i come here... Yyou are Aall so wonderful... and i do appreciate Eeach and Eeveryone (even the assholes)... lol i wonder if that will be censored.

_____________________________

~....and once you have tasted flight, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to return.~ -- Leonardo de Vinci


(in reply to angelic)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Own Worst Enemy - 2/26/2006 5:40:22 PM   
Real0ne


Posts: 21189
Joined: 10/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse

quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren
I tend to give out my phone number pretty freely. The only restriction is I have to be comfortable the recipient is someone with whom Libby would feel comfortable talking.


Quite. The young lady I am getting to know had my mobile number within a week of us first getting in touch. Basicaly as soon as I realised things had some real potential to go to what we both seem to be looking for.


thats the exact benchmark i use for giving mine out, with exception to those who are paranoid about fakes. i drop it on them right away.

_____________________________

"We the Borg" of the us imperialists....resistance is futile

Democracy; The 'People' voted on 'which' amendment?

Yesterdays tinfoil is today's reality!

"No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session

(in reply to RavenMuse)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Own Worst Enemy - 2/26/2006 5:52:46 PM   
Prunesquallor


Posts: 181
Joined: 10/12/2005
Status: offline 		It's very simple. Take things slowly. Recognise red flags if you see them - don't ignore them. And talk as much as you possibly can before doing anything else.

And, for what it's worth, I think he's a lucky guy. :)

(in reply to angelic)
Profile   Post #: 60
Page:   <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Own Worst Enemy Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094