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sex with a submissive - 9/12/2009 2:38:51 PM   
subslut2409


Posts: 5
Joined: 3/8/2009
Status: offline 		Hello out there,

       I have a question that may be strange, but here it goes.  If a submissive guy is lucky enough to find a dominant woman to serve exclusively, does that couple engage in vanilla sexual acts.  I'm sure that this varies greatly from relationship to relationship, I'm looking for generalizations or personal examples if you don't mind.

      I'm still in the search for a Domme, and I don't really know what's expected.  I myself am not looking for a sexual relationship, but if I didn't engage in sex with the person I'm with, would they be unsatisfied even if they enjoyed being dominant all the time.?

       Thanks in advance for your input.  I apologize if this post is offensive or ignorant in any way, it's not meant to be.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: sex with a submissive - 9/12/2009 2:56:08 PM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline 		In past relationships, sometimes it did and sometimes it didn't.

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(in reply to subslut2409)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: sex with a submissive - 9/12/2009 2:57:54 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		If the exclusivity goes both ways, I would imagine she would not want to be deprived of sex just because you did want to be. If she has other partners I'm sure some would be happy to have a purely service submissive.

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RE: sex with a submissive - 9/12/2009 3:20:57 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		I find it strange that someone calling themselves slut in their screenname is not looking for a sexual relationship. But that is another matter im sure.

I have had relationships that were sexless in BDSM, but I always had the option of having other sexual partners. Serving exclusively and being in an exclusive relationship are quite different. Back when I had him, Angel served me exclusively, but he was not in a relationship with me other than that service. He was able, as was I, to have other partners and the like. We had no sexual interaction.

Fox and I are exclusive, service and sexually. He and I have sex however and whenever I want it. I could not put myself into a relationship that was exclusive where there was no sexual outlet.

So, I suppose your answers will be based on your definition of exclusive. Do you mean you serve only her, or that you two are together and there are no others included in your relationship at all in any capacity?

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to DesFIP)
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RE: sex with a submissive - 9/12/2009 3:45:08 PM   
CarrieO


Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subslut2409

Hello out there,

   I have a question that may be strange, but here it goes.  If a submissive guy is lucky enough to find a dominant woman to serve exclusively, does that couple engage in vanilla sexual acts.  I'm sure that this varies greatly from relationship to relationship, I'm looking for generalizations or personal examples if you don't mind.

In the general sense, the answer would be a definite maybe. Personal story?  What works for me may not work for you and giving you an example of my personal life isn't really necessary for you to decide what will work for you and a domme.

I'm still in the search for a Domme, and I don't really know what's expected. 

Then what makes you think you're a "subslut"?  Don't advertise if you aren't sure what you're really advertising.  Use the search feature here to do some homework...attend a local munch...do some reading, there's a great bdsm booklist HERE ....take the time to understand what you want and have to offer a woman.

I myself am not looking for a sexual relationship, but if I didn't engage in sex with the person I'm with, would they be unsatisfied even if they enjoyed being dominant all the time.?

Who knows,  maybe your future domme wants a service sub with no sex involved. Your profile is confusing, though, if you really aren't looking for a sexual relationship.  All you offer is a list of sex/kink loves and likes, nothing personal about you and certainly nothing that would lead me to think you're remotely service oriented.  Perhaps you mean sexual service.  See the confusion?   If you'd like to offer service (not the sexual kind) to a woman, check out THIS thread on resources for service.

Thanks in advance for your input.  I apologize if this post is offensive or ignorant in any way, it's not meant to be.



*edited for spelling

< Message edited by CarrieO -- 9/12/2009 4:02:26 PM >

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(in reply to subslut2409)
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RE: sex with a submissive - 9/12/2009 3:47:11 PM   
subslut2409


Posts: 5
Joined: 3/8/2009
Status: offline 		Thanks so far everyone,

I guess my username is kind of ridiculous considering I am not looking for sex.  Anyway to answer the question from DiurnalVampire, I guess I was meaning a relationship where I served someone exclusively but they might not have the same exclusivity. 

I'd be okay with the person I served being with someone else or even serving someone else if they wanted.  If such a thing happened, do the dynamics change greatly?  Is it possible to be in a relationship with someone that is having sexual interactions with someone else?

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RE: sex with a submissive - 9/12/2009 4:09:17 PM   
VampiresLair


Posts: 1307
Joined: 9/3/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subslut2409
Is it possible to be in a relationship with someone that is having sexual interactions with someone else?



One version of that is called cuckolding. You are the primary partner, but she has sex with others and refuses you.

Poly, also, works where you and someone else are in a relationship and there are other relationships as well, involving you or not.


_____________________________

Separately we are DiurnalVampire and DVsFox

10/18 Wedding date. 1 year and still blissfully happy

10/13/10 3 year anniversary of his becoming my Fox

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(in reply to subslut2409)
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RE: sex with a submissive - 9/12/2009 4:56:15 PM   
SaharahEve


Posts: 231
Joined: 6/25/2009
Status: offline 		It really depends on the Woman. Anything is possible.

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RE: sex with a submissive - 9/12/2009 6:36:24 PM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline
Yes we do and have for the last six years. I suspect as time goes on we will continue to do so. Of course vanilla sex for us includes, biting, clawing, slapping, being held down and a host of other things so perhaps it is not as vanilla as I had thought.

~Lashra

_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






(in reply to subslut2409)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: sex with a submissive - 9/12/2009 8:04:00 PM   
malloves69


Posts: 913
Joined: 9/15/2006
Status: offline 		yes ..me and my mistress do have vanilla sx together too  love sharing that with her when she cums  see she squirts when she cums and to witness that is wonderfull indeed  knowing that i pleasured her that well its like getting a pat on the back when your lady squirts for you  most times when she allows me to cum in her it is my job to lick her clean after as my cum drips from her ,,love that site and our cums mixed together do taste wonderfull indeed  known her a long time thats why no condoms are necessary ...our fluids do mix well together and to me thats priceless indeed  enjoy ..mal

< Message edited by malloves69 -- 9/12/2009 8:05:11 PM >

(in reply to Lashra)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: sex with a submissive - 9/12/2009 11:54:05 PM   
MaamJay


Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline 		Essentially OP it depends on the Domme and what She wants as to whether you are compatible with Her or not. In My case, I would want to have sex with My sub once he was accepted as a member of the household and Master gave His permission to that. Though I have a sexual relationship with Master, I don't want a cuckold for a sub, why keep a cock and not use it? I have a very healthy sexual appetite and Master would be more than happy for someone else to help keep it satisfied! So we would be looking at a poly family situation with Master as Head of House, Myself as His sub but also Domme over the boy sub. 

However what works for Me would not necessarily work for others. Some do not want any sex with subs, some only allow certain sexual activities eg oral, milking, masturbation and not intercourse. Basically it's as varied as people are!

Maam Jay aka violet[A] 

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Profile   Post #: 11
RE: sex with a submissive - 9/13/2009 12:11:19 AM   
littlesarbonn


Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline 		As many people have already said, it really matters what are the dynamics of the relationship you have with your Mistress. I've been in both kinds, and honestly, I've been satisfied either way because if the relationship works, then I tend to be happy with whatever comes from that relationship. What's important is that you're up front close to the beginning of the relationship, or you'll end up being VERY disappointed a few months down the line when your Mistress says, "no, I wasn't looking for that with you. I thought you knew." Or whatever variant of that you may come across.

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http://www.littlesarbonn.com/Stickman/Stickman.htm
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RE: sex with a submissive - 9/13/2009 6:08:30 AM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VampiresLair

quote:

ORIGINAL: subslut2409
Is it possible to be in a relationship with someone that is having sexual interactions with someone else?



One version of that is called cuckolding. You are the primary partner, but she has sex with others and refuses you.

Poly, also, works where you and someone else are in a relationship and there are other relationships as well, involving you or not.



this is the part where i get confused. According to his profile he loves cuckolding, yet he is not sure if it possible to be in a relationship with someone that is having sexual interactions with someone else?


_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert


This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi


(in reply to VampiresLair)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: sex with a submissive - 9/13/2009 6:21:37 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline 		The thing that springs to My attention is WTF is "vanilla sex"? The Dynamic is the way My girl and I interact, how We relate to one another, the result of a Dominant person and a submissive person who find chemistry with each other, it comes from who We are...... it doesn't turn on and off, It is there when I have her on a cross in a club flogging her, it is there when We are in bed and I am doing nothing more than holding her in My arms, it is there when We are at the store getting the grocerys..... and yes, it is there when We are fucking, regardless of it is rough and hard or gentle and slow. We are still the same people, the Dynamic is still there, there is no "vanilla time" and "M/s time"... There is just Us.

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This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

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Profile   Post #: 14
RE: sex with a submissive - 9/13/2009 11:34:16 AM   
littlesarbonn


Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse

The thing that springs to My attention is WTF is "vanilla sex"?


Vanilla sex involves ice cream. Vanilla flavor preferably. Cone or cup is negotiable.


_____________________________

<---- FYI, this picture looks JUST like me


http://www.littlesarbonn.com/Stickman/Stickman.htm
The Adventures of Stickman and the Unemployed Lego Spaceman

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Profile   Post #: 15
RE: sex with a submissive - 9/13/2009 11:35:59 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		this would leave out the black folk that might like chocolate.

Some definition is gonna always leave out somebody.

LOL.

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


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Profile   Post #: 16
RE: sex with a submissive - 9/13/2009 11:37:11 AM   
littlesarbonn


Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline 		Well, it's a specific kind of sex. It's like anal sex is going to leave out all the people who like, um.........non-anal sex.

_____________________________

<---- FYI, this picture looks JUST like me


http://www.littlesarbonn.com/Stickman/Stickman.htm
The Adventures of Stickman and the Unemployed Lego Spaceman

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: sex with a submissive - 9/13/2009 11:38:33 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		damn, theres a different slice of edgy knife-sex kinda way of thinking of it.

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


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Profile   Post #: 18
RE: sex with a submissive - 9/13/2009 11:45:06 AM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		subslut, when you posted, you said vanilla sex and I wonder if the vanilla might be the key word here. What is vanilla sex to you and do you see it as different than other types of sex? What do you see in the day to day of things, in a situation you would like to have?

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Profile   Post #: 19
RE: sex with a submissive - 9/13/2009 12:41:03 PM   
AlexandraLynch


Posts: 778
Joined: 3/24/2008
Status: offline 		I don't have "vanilla sex" very often. I've lost the taste for it. I'm a dominant woman no matter what I'm doing in bed or out of it. But that doesn't mean that I don't have and enjoy penetrative sex, with myself on the recieving end. Whether that is something that I can get from someone in service to me varies with the person serving.



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I use fastreply. Don't take offence where none is meant.

Just because I'm not a bitch doesn't mean I'm not perfectly capable of making sure you'll be very sorry if you disobey.

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 20
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