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RE: I left my Daddy on Sunday - 9/15/2009 5:51:04 PM   
sidney614


Posts: 28
Joined: 9/13/2009
Status: offline 		WOW.... You guys ROCK!!!! I'm feeling much better.

(in reply to Sunnyfey)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: I left my Daddy on Sunday - 9/15/2009 5:55:35 PM   
Leiren


Posts: 206
Joined: 8/16/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Please post hawt pics of you in the nurse's outfit. 



Great. Everyone wants hawt pics of a nurse outfit. I guess I'll just throw my Catholic school girl uniform in the trash!


_____________________________

We have forgotten how to walk softly on the earth as its other creatures do.

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: I left my Daddy on Sunday - 9/15/2009 6:05:07 PM   
Sunnyfey


Posts: 1436
Joined: 9/21/2007
From: OK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Leiren

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Please post hawt pics of you in the nurse's outfit. 



Great. Everyone wants hawt pics of a nurse outfit. I guess I'll just throw my Catholic school girl uniform in the trash!



BLASPHEMY!!!!!!


_____________________________

Resident Hell Cat



(in reply to Leiren)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: I left my Daddy on Sunday - 9/15/2009 6:07:35 PM   
lovingpet


Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sunnyfey

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leiren

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Please post hawt pics of you in the nurse's outfit. 



Great. Everyone wants hawt pics of a nurse outfit. I guess I'll just throw my Catholic school girl uniform in the trash!



BLASPHEMY!!!!!!



How entirely too appropriate!

You've got big plans OP! We're behind you all the way with it. Look at it this way, this is a pretest for the biggest final you will ever have in your profession... that of learning to let go. Huggggs!!!!

lovingpet

(in reply to Sunnyfey)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: I left my Daddy on Sunday - 9/15/2009 6:14:03 PM   
Musicmystery


Posts: 30259
Joined: 3/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

Yup, I'll second what DS said. A new and credible partner will be just the ticket to overcoming past bad experiences. Not only that, but it's kind of my opinion that all people come to new relationships bearing the battle scars of the past ones. So I don't see that as a particular down side unless it's turned into a victim mentality.


Plus, ya gotta love a gal who quotes Sophocles!

CREON. Thou must not think
To have thy way in all things all thy life.
Thou hadst it once, yet went it ill with thee. 1576

CHORUS Ye men of Thebes, behold this Œdipus,
Who knew the famous riddle and was noblest,
Who envied no one’s fortune and success.
And, lo,! in what a sea of direst woe 1580
He now is plunged. From hence the lesson draw,
To reckon no man happy till ye see
The closing day.

(in reply to leadership527)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: I left my Daddy on Sunday - 9/15/2009 6:21:35 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		Good for you, sidney!  With a nursing degree, you'll be able to write your own ticket.  And also, will never have to be dependent on someone else for financial support. 

Did you know there are a LOT of kinky people in the medical profession?   You have chosen wisely, little grasshopper.

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to Musicmystery)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: I left my Daddy on Sunday - 9/15/2009 6:21:37 PM   
sidney614


Posts: 28
Joined: 9/13/2009
Status: offline 		Yes.... the art of letting go is truly an art... I'm getting some pretty good practice.
Be Well
sidney

(in reply to lovingpet)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: I left my Daddy on Sunday - 9/15/2009 7:04:59 PM   
impishlilhellcat


Posts: 4379
Joined: 3/26/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sidney614

Hi. My user name used to be Daddyssidney but I had to change it. My Daddy and I were together a little under two years. We started out in a vanilla relationship but I have always been submissive to the one that holds my heart. We were a great match in most all areas except the bedroom. Our sexual life really hurt me emotionally. When I would talk with him about it he would let up only to return to it later. I tried to make his kinks my own.......but that did not work. When I spoke with him about it he said nothing but took it out on me later. I'm beginning to realize that he only used the D/s dynamic for his own jollies with little to no regard of my well being. My introduction to the lifestyle was an abusive one. If some of you could share with me how you were able to overcome a BAD example of the lifestyle that would be very helpful.
Be Well
sidney



I was in a very abusive relationship with someone that I met through this site. I had been involved in BDSM I knew that, that wasn't the way things were supposed to be. He was much older than me and I was convinced he knew much more than I. I knew that he was hurting me to serve some self satisfying purpose. I did as you did tried to make his kinks my own. I was constantly fed if I was a twue submissive I would bend to his ways without questioning why. He used this lifestyle to have sex with many different partners while with me and used polyamory as an excuse even though he wasn't really involved with any of them. He I later found out chatted with other submissives about how I wasn't a submissive and that I didn't know anything about the lifestyle while I was asleep in his room, taking care of his children, supporting us both, and cleaning his house. I should have left much sooner than I did. Instead of leaving I let him talk me into moving in with him and when I finally did leave things got ugly. I will suffer physical affects to my body because of some of the damage he caused me for the rest of my life. It's hard for me to trust and it's hard to share that intimacy with someone else in a bdsm type of relationship as a result. Ultimately what I did find after a little bit of counseling and a whole lot of soul searching is that I love who I am and eventually I will meet someone with whom I click in that way and I am strong! I tend to think that you work through it as you do any other bad relationship in whatever way works best for you.

_____________________________

Anyone who says they have only one life to live must not know how to read a book - Unknown

(in reply to sidney614)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: I left my Daddy on Sunday - 9/15/2009 7:12:25 PM   
Leiren


Posts: 206
Joined: 8/16/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sunnyfey

BLASPHEMY!!!!!!



Nope. Throwing the Catholic school girl uniform in the trash is a good thing. I never liked it anyway. In fact, I hated it.

It was my former Sir's fantasy, not mine. And as I said earlier, I'm leaving him for a new apartment of my own in 6 more days. Yes, I'm counting the days down until I get out and no longer have to look at his sulking face and listen to his whining.

I think the OP made the right decision, and I made the right decision, too.


_____________________________

We have forgotten how to walk softly on the earth as its other creatures do.

(in reply to Sunnyfey)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: I left my Daddy on Sunday - 9/15/2009 11:16:51 PM   
NihilusZero


Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sunnyfey
quote:


Great. Everyone wants hawt pics of a nurse outfit. I guess I'll just throw my Catholic school girl uniform in the trash!



BLASPHEMY!!!!!!


Intentional or not, great subtle double entendre.

30 points.

*pet*

< Message edited by NihilusZero -- 9/15/2009 11:18:15 PM >

_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

NihilusZero.com

CM Sex God du Jour
CM Hall Monitor

(in reply to Sunnyfey)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: I left my Daddy on Sunday - 9/15/2009 11:28:04 PM   
Sunnyfey


Posts: 1436
Joined: 9/21/2007
From: OK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sunnyfey
quote:


Great. Everyone wants hawt pics of a nurse outfit. I guess I'll just throw my Catholic school girl uniform in the trash!



BLASPHEMY!!!!!!


Intentional or not, great subtle double entendre.

30 points.

*pet*


You'd think after sleeping with you for this long, I'd have more points.

See everyone?!! He's not biased!!!


_____________________________

Resident Hell Cat



(in reply to NihilusZero)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: I left my Daddy on Sunday - 9/15/2009 11:40:44 PM   
DavanKael


Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sunnyfey

quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sunnyfey
quote:


Great. Everyone wants hawt pics of a nurse outfit. I guess I'll just throw my Catholic school girl uniform in the trash!



BLASPHEMY!!!!!!


Intentional or not, great subtle double entendre.

30 points.

*pet*


You'd think after sleeping with you for this long, I'd have more points.

See everyone?!! He's not biased!!!



ROFLMAO!!!  :>  'night, guys!  :> 
  Davan

_____________________________

May you live as long as you wish & love as long as you live
-Robert A Heinlein

It's about the person & the bond,not the bondage
-Me

Waiting is

170NZ (Aka:Sex God Du Jour) pts

Jesus,I've ALWAYS been a deviant
-Leadership527,Jeff

(in reply to Sunnyfey)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: I left my Daddy on Sunday - 9/15/2009 11:40:45 PM   
NihilusZero


Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		To the point of the thread:

I'm sensing something fishy. What kinks was he engaging in that made you feel abused? If you both started out vanilla and were feeling your way through things, why was his taking the role of a dominant partner and attempting to enforce his wants something you'd drag up as a negative after the fact? How does a sexual life "hurt you emotionally"?

When you say: "When I spoke with him about it he said nothing but took it out on me later" I'm seeing a formerly vanilla partner (as you mentioned) trying out what he thinks may be a D-type/sadist style by installing a punishment dynamic.

And everyone says: "I'm beginning to realize that he only used the D/s dynamic for his own jollies with little to no regard of my well being." when they are emerging from the bad breakup of a relationship (except for the D/s part which is niche specific).

I'm really just seeing the aftermath of an unsuccessful relationship where you were both discovering yourselves in a WIITWD fashion and you using a typical method of self-solace/self-healing by demonizing the partner you've just split from.
Not to say that it isn't a useful and functional way to move on, mind you...

I could be wrong though.

< Message edited by NihilusZero -- 9/15/2009 11:44:16 PM >

_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

NihilusZero.com

CM Sex God du Jour
CM Hall Monitor

(in reply to Sunnyfey)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: I left my Daddy on Sunday - 9/16/2009 1:12:52 AM   
sidney614


Posts: 28
Joined: 9/13/2009
Status: offline 		I shared with him about past sexual abuse I endured as a child. I could not understand why he wanted all the details of what went on till he wanted to reenact them all. Most of his scenes was a play by play act of what I went through. He could not become sexually aroused unless he was doing these things. He also pushed the idea of having other men use me in the same manner. It was bad enough that he was doing them. I tried to bend my thoughts to he was just trying to help me heal but this was not the case. He all to often took me to the very space that hurt me. Then he told me it was my fault that he was back in his sexual addiction. I caught him in many lies and he was seeing prostitutes. I even tried in making this ok in my mind if only he could be honest about it but he never was. He tried to tell me most subs do these thing and had no issue with them. That sex was not about what I wanted but about serving his needs. When I shared with him that reenacting out my past was a hard limit he would stop for a while only to return to it with a vengeance.
Since he does not come to this site I have felt save to use this kind of forum to aid me in my own healing process.
Be Well
sidney

(in reply to NihilusZero)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: I left my Daddy on Sunday - 9/16/2009 1:17:52 AM   
sidney614


Posts: 28
Joined: 9/13/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: impishlilhellcat





I was in a very abusive relationship with someone that I met through this site. I had been involved in BDSM I knew that, that wasn't the way things were supposed to be. He was much older than me and I was convinced he knew much more than I. I knew that he was hurting me to serve some self satisfying purpose. I did as you did tried to make his kinks my own. I was constantly fed if I was a twue submissive I would bend to his ways without questioning why. He used this lifestyle to have sex with many different partners while with me and used polyamory as an excuse even though he wasn't really involved with any of them. He I later found out chatted with other submissives about how I wasn't a submissive and that I didn't know anything about the lifestyle while I was asleep in his room, taking care of his children, supporting us both, and cleaning his house. I should have left much sooner than I did. Instead of leaving I let him talk me into moving in with him and when I finally did leave things got ugly. I will suffer physical affects to my body because of some of the damage he caused me for the rest of my life. It's hard for me to trust and it's hard to share that intimacy with someone else in a bdsm type of relationship as a result. Ultimately what I did find after a little bit of counseling and a whole lot of soul searching is that I love who I am and eventually I will meet someone with whom I click in that way and I am strong! I tend to think that you work through it as you do any other bad relationship in whatever way works best for you.


Thanks for sharing this with me.

(in reply to impishlilhellcat)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: I left my Daddy on Sunday - 9/16/2009 1:22:15 AM   
MissCake


Posts: 149
Joined: 9/18/2008
Status: offline 		I highly recommend this book:

The Survivor's Guide to Sex: How to Have an Empowered Sex Life After Child Sexual Abuse by Staci Haines Permalink: http://amzn.com/1573440795

(in reply to sidney614)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: I left my Daddy on Sunday - 9/16/2009 1:23:06 AM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sunnyfey
You'd think after sleeping with you for this long, I'd have more points.
Yeah, but as his slave, all your points are his anyway so it hardly matters. *chuckles*


_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to Sunnyfey)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: I left my Daddy on Sunday - 9/16/2009 1:33:20 AM   
sidney614


Posts: 28
Joined: 9/13/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissCake

I highly recommend this book:

The Survivor's Guide to Sex: How to Have an Empowered Sex Life After Child Sexual Abuse by Staci Haines Permalink: http://amzn.com/1573440795




Thanks.. I will give it a read

(in reply to MissCake)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: I left my Daddy on Sunday - 9/16/2009 1:46:02 AM   
lally2


Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline 		sweetheart, sending you such a big hug, im so sorry you went through this, but so glad youre out of it and now start to heal.

all i can tell you is this, and it might sound a bit 'odd' or even annoying, but please bear with me, its worked for me and helped me to find a wonderful man.

taking hold of why you were there in the first place and that you stayed is part of the healing process, dont be hard on youreself, just acknowledge that you were part of why it happened for as long as it did.  then let go of it, dont dwell, move on.

for me personally, i take myself off for a time, im wicca, which helps enormously because i find huge healing from silence and solitude, friends and my animals.  but i realise that isnt an option for everyone.

dont fall into the thought that youre in a pattern you will never get out of, that you attract the wrong sort, its not true if you dont want it to be.

the intention now is to heal, give youreself time.  when youre ready and only then have the intention to find the right person for you, find someone loving, caring and giving, dont believe that D's have to be these hard nosed bully types, thats not who they are atall.  a D is a loving, caring, thoughtful beastie and youll find one.

hugs and love xx

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

(in reply to Sunnyfey)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: I left my Daddy on Sunday - 9/16/2009 2:05:38 AM   
newtothisswitch


Posts: 1
Joined: 2/5/2008
Status: offline 		Im sorry i wish i lived closer so i could give you a big hug
I do know how you feel as it has happen to me but time......heals
i cannot give you a hug in person so i hope this will help
HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG

(in reply to Sunnyfey)
Profile   Post #: 40
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