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RE: I left my Daddy on Sunday - 9/16/2009 5:45:11 AM

aldompdx

Posts: 538
Joined: 10/24/2004
Status: offline

Sidney,

Love arises in the only place you have ever felt it, your very own heart. It cannot be given or taken. He never had the power to take away your good feeling, and he does not have that power now.

Own your light. Accept your choice to surrender. Continue to own your power of free choice and self will. Also accept that he was not capable of doing any better in his life. You have taken responsibility for your own fulfillment / love, and have moved forward. Good for you!

(in reply to newtothisswitch)

Post #: 41

RE: I left my Daddy on Sunday - 9/16/2009 6:27:34 AM

sidney614

Posts: 28
Joined: 9/13/2009
Status: offline

Thanks for the kind replies. I know that I'm not a victim. I knew the situation was not good for me for a while now. Like I said before, I tried to make his kinks my own. We were a good match in most all other areas. It had been so long since I felt that kind of deep connection with anyone. He was the source of many good things but he also became the source of deep pain. I just could not let him hurt me anymore. I do miss the good things. I'm in pain but I think the deeper pain comes from allowing it to go on as long as I did.
sidney

(in reply to aldompdx)

Post #: 42

RE: I left my Daddy on Sunday - 9/16/2009 6:34:24 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

I am gonna write me a country song,

I left my Daddy on Sunday, by Monday I had me a man.......

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to sidney614)

Post #: 43

RE: I left my Daddy on Sunday - 9/16/2009 6:35:48 AM

sirsholly

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

I am gonna write me a country song,

I left my Daddy on Sunday, by Monday I had me a man.......

you forgot a truck. every good country song includes a truck.

_____________________________

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(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 44

RE: I left my Daddy on Sunday - 9/16/2009 6:37:13 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
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and a train and grandma and prison
David Allen Coe Master

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to sirsholly)

Post #: 45

RE: I left my Daddy on Sunday - 9/16/2009 6:46:08 AM

sirsholly

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline

I left my Daddy on Sunday,
by Monday i had a new man
He just broked out of prison,
called hisself TrainWreckDan

I was drivin' Grandma's moped
cause my truck was in the shop
Coulda rode the train to work
but wanted coffee from IHop

Saw him in the parking lot
so i let out a beller
got his attention right quick
now that boy's one happy feller.

_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 46

RE: I left my Daddy on Sunday - 9/16/2009 7:03:37 AM

sidney614

Posts: 28
Joined: 9/13/2009
Status: offline

You all forgot about the dog...

(in reply to sirsholly)

Post #: 47

RE: I left my Daddy on Sunday - 9/16/2009 7:11:23 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

I was working at a nursing place,
I waggled my tits and ass in his face,
he came on my face and all over my place,
and now hes sleeping in the gutter with a smile,
and the little dog is peeing on his leg all the while.......

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to sidney614)

Post #: 48

RE: I left my Daddy on Sunday - 9/16/2009 7:16:27 AM

sirsholly

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline

we should toss a Ma'am in there too. Thats what us'n redneck wimmins call each other.

_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
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(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 49

RE: I left my Daddy on Sunday - 9/16/2009 7:24:24 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

Yassur!!! I believe we should Ma'am.

Have the nurse with all the tits and ass spilling out of her uniform all over do that, I am a fucking mind surgeon.

< Message edited by mnottertail -- 9/16/2009 7:25:23 AM >

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to sirsholly)

Post #: 50

RE: I left my Daddy on Sunday - 9/16/2009 7:27:06 AM

sidney614

Posts: 28
Joined: 9/13/2009
Status: offline

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 51

RE: I left my Daddy on Sunday - 9/16/2009 7:46:42 AM

CreativeDominant

Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline

I left my Daddy on Sunday,
by Monday i had a new man
He just broked out of prison,
called hisself TrainWreckDan

I was drivin' Grandma's moped
cause my truck was in the shop
Coulda rode the train to work
but wanted coffee from IHop

Saw him in the parking lot
so i let out a beller
got his attention right quick
now that boy's one happy feller.

Chorus

Now its me and him and a dog named Fred
Eatin' pancakes after a scene
Me and him and a dog named Fred
At least this good ole boy is clean

(in reply to sidney614)

Post #: 52

RE: I left my Daddy on Sunday - 9/16/2009 7:50:23 AM

sirsholly

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline

_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)

(in reply to CreativeDominant)

Post #: 53

RE: I left my Daddy on Sunday - 9/16/2009 9:20:06 AM

NihilusZero

Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sidney614

I shared with him about past sexual abuse I endured as a child. I could not understand why he wanted all the details of what went on till he wanted to reenact them all. Most of his scenes was a play by play act of what I went through. He could not become sexually aroused unless he was doing these things. He also pushed the idea of having other men use me in the same manner. It was bad enough that he was doing them. I tried to bend my thoughts to he was just trying to help me heal but this was not the case. He all to often took me to the very space that hurt me. Then he told me it was my fault that he was back in his sexual addiction. I caught him in many lies and he was seeing prostitutes. I even tried in making this ok in my mind if only he could be honest about it but he never was. He tried to tell me most subs do these thing and had no issue with them. That sex was not about what I wanted but about serving his needs. When I shared with him that reenacting out my past was a hard limit he would stop for a while only to return to it with a vengeance.
Since he does not come to this site I have felt save to use this kind of forum to aid me in my own healing process.
Be Well
sidney

My intent wasn't necessarily to force your hand to disclose more than you felt comfortable, but certainly duplicity, sleeping around without mutual consent, attempts to have you be used sexually by others without that being an understood topic of discussion beforehand and the continued intents to force you into situations related to past sexual trauma and his inability to attain arousal without doing so are all rather clear instances of unacceptable actions in most dynamics and certainly for most who are still discovering themselves in that way.

In any event, you seem rather well-balanced in your ability to discuss the situations that happened which is a good springboard from which to move on well. Being in a relationship that goes well in most facets can sometimes be a reason to try to make yourself permit certain uncomfortable ones, but having this experience can hopefully be a means by which to understand where you would need to communicate and understand what points you cannot and should not traverse by being dragged across them forcefully.

Best of luck on your horizons.

_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

NihilusZero.com

CM Sex God du Jour
CM Hall Monitor

(in reply to sidney614)

Post #: 54

RE: I left my Daddy on Sunday - 9/16/2009 9:21:47 AM

NihilusZero

Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

Oh...wait. Was I supposed to add a new verse as well? I'm not good with country songs...

_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

NihilusZero.com

CM Sex God du Jour
CM Hall Monitor

(in reply to NihilusZero)

Post #: 55

RE: I left my Daddy on Sunday - 9/16/2009 10:12:46 AM

frazzle

Posts: 1212
Joined: 6/20/2009
Status: offline

Glad you didnt. lol

Sending holly and MN the bill for new keyboard, it didnt approve of the vodka it just had.

(in reply to NihilusZero)

Post #: 56

RE: I left my Daddy on Sunday - 9/16/2009 3:52:34 PM

theRose4U

Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sidney614

Thanks for the great feedback. I did do years of counseling and thought I had worked through that stuff. My ex just really got his jollies of reopening and reliving my past abusive. Whew..... I'm glad that is over!!

It's one thing to open the pandora's box of past abuse to examine and work on it...it's totally another to use it for jollies. Contacting a kink friendly therapist ASAP would be my suggestion.

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to sidney614)

Post #: 57

RE: I left my Daddy on Sunday - 9/16/2009 3:59:55 PM

theRose4U

Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

I am gonna write me a country song,

I left my Daddy on Sunday, by Monday I had me a man.......

you forgot a truck. every good country song includes a truck.

And the dog that usually runs away

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to sirsholly)

Post #: 58

RE: I left my Daddy on Sunday - 9/16/2009 4:17:52 PM

Acer49

Posts: 1434
Joined: 8/7/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sidney614

Hi. My user name used to be Daddyssidney but I had to change it. My Daddy and I were together a little under two years. We started out in a vanilla relationship but I have always been submissive to the one that holds my heart. We were a great match in most all areas except the bedroom. Our sexual life really hurt me emotionally. When I would talk with him about it he would let up only to return to it later. I tried to make his kinks my own.......but that did not work. When I spoke with him about it he said nothing but took it out on me later. I'm beginning to realize that he only used the D/s dynamic for his own jollies with little to no regard of my well being. My introduction to the lifestyle was an abusive one. If some of you could share with me how you were able to overcome a BAD example of the lifestyle that would be very helpful.
Be Well
sidney

My heart goes out to you, you should have never had to endure such treatment. He has disgraced himself and is no longer worthy to be referred to as anything other than what he has become.

_____________________________

Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.
Harvey Fierstein

(in reply to sidney614)

Post #: 59

RE: I left my Daddy on Sunday - 9/16/2009 4:22:30 PM

kiwisub12

Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline

What - no mention of beer???????

One thing the OP might remember - she has a backbone, and unless she really needs the roof over her head, she has the option of walking out. No-one can "make" her do anything she doesn't want to do - and she has the right to say no to anything without being any less a sub/slave/little girl. And if her owner/master/sir/daddy brings out the old saw of "a true sub/slave/little girl would do it", she can say "well this one doesn't.

Infact, unless that particular phrase is said in jest, then that would be a pretty good way of telling the "real" from the "unreal" doms/masters/daddys.

(in reply to theRose4U)

Post #: 60

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