quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

This subject has been massaged in the past by posters of the CM expereienced variety but since there has been a ton of new folks join the ranks in just 2009 it is worth another roll of the enlightenment dice.

When I first came onto the path decades ago, the use of "sir" was a defining moment as to status of both the Dominant as well as the submissive. For the submissive it identified her/him as a pathwalker and paid attention to the use of "sir" when addressing a Dominant. If it was her/his Dominant the "S" was capped and just a dominant it was lower case "s" or lower case"m" for ma'am.

Over the last few years, it has evolved to "que sera, sera"

While I spend little time in the chat rooms here on CM the culture is evident is some rooms and completely absent in others.
Be yee new to the path, Dominant of submissive; what is your application!

CP

quote:

i don't frequent chat rooms. nor do i generally find a good representation of the lifestyle that i've come to know in them. however, in reference to your question, when i communicate with someone in written form if they've neglected to use their name i will address them as Sir out of courtesy. i'm not opposed to honorifics nor do i feel they should be forced upon strangers either.

in familiar dialogue i'm far less formal, but i do notice my tone is decidedly different with one person. while we have never gone down the path where i've felt obligated to address him in a certain manner, i have noticed the way i respond is telling. i have a certain level of deference and respect that curtails my speech. there are things i'm not comfortable saying and i don't know why, i just don't feel it would be appropriate. i believe some of it is a reflection that his demeanor is akin to what i'd classify as an Owner under the principles i prefer.

i do make an exception for friends and their partners. i will typically be more courteous and utilize an honorific out of respect for the friendship and the role that person has in their life. the degree of how this is done differs, and i can only think of one person that might inspire the same kind of behavior that i offer to the gentleman mentioned above.

porcelaine

quote:

ORIGINAL: kallisto

quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

This subject has been massaged in the past by posters of the CM expereienced variety but since there has been a ton of new folks join the ranks in just 2009 it is worth another roll of the enlightenment dice.

When I first came onto the path decades ago, the use of "sir" was a defining moment as to status of both the Dominant as well as the submissive. For the submissive it identified her/him as a pathwalker and paid attention to the use of "sir" when addressing a Dominant. If it was her/his Dominant the "S" was capped and just a dominant it was lower case "s" or lower case"m" for ma'am.

Over the last few years, it has evolved to "que sera, sera"

While I spend little time in the chat rooms here on CM the culture is evident is some rooms and completely absent in others.
Be yee new to the path, Dominant of submissive; what is your application!

CP

I think times may have changed a bit since the written word is a very viable and constant means of communication now. I don't see "Sir" as being strictly used to address "her Dom" (as in a collared relationship). However, I do feel there are those (of us) that feel there is a difference in "Sir" and "sir" and can't see them being interchangeable.

I see "sir" as a way of expressing knowledge of and appreciation for his position. Same for maam and her position. Being polite and courteous has never backfired on me.

For me with one man, using Sir (capitalizing the "S") when communicating via the written word shows a level to the relationship that has gone beyond that of casual banter back and forth. There is a deep level of trust, respect and appreciation that goes beyond just his position as the Dominant in the relationship. There is a difference in the "tone" of my words. I too (like porcelaine) believe it is because of his demeanor with me. In my eyes, he certainly deserves the "Sir".

In the written word, capitalizing or underlining or whatever other punctuation is used can change the meaning behind the word. It's very hard to put tones and inflections in the written word. To me, capitalizing or not puts emphasis on the level/intensity of the meaning of Sir.

quote:

I think times may have changed a bit since the written word is a very viable and constant means of communication now. I don't see "Sir" as being strictly used to address "her Dom" (as in a collared relationship). However, I do feel there are those (of us) that feel there is a difference in "Sir" and "sir" and can't see them being interchangeable.

I see "sir" as a way of expressing knowledge of and appreciation for his position. Same for maam and her position. Being polite and courteous has never backfired on me.

For me with one man, using Sir (capitalizing the "S") when communicating via the written word shows a level to the relationship that has gone beyond that of casual banter back and forth. There is a deep level of trust, respect and appreciation that goes beyond just his position as the Dominant in the relationship. There is a difference in the "tone" of my words. I too (like porcelaine) believe it is because of his demeanor with me. In my eyes, he certainly deserves the "Sir".

In the written word, capitalizing or underlining or whatever other punctuation is used can change the meaning behind the word. It's very hard to put tones and inflections in the written word. To me, capitalizing or not puts emphasis on the level/intensity of the meaning of Sir.

quote:

Can't help ya, there. I don't chat.

quote:

I don't frequent the chatrooms, but when I type here on the message boards, or when I'd written letters to Dominants, I capitalize "Sir" or "Ma'am." I just do because, when I answered my first c-mail, a Dom immediately informed me that His pronouns should all be capitalized & I just thought that's how it was supposed to be. However, I no longer use slashy speak. haha

_____________________________

quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

kallisto,

as usual your observations run along the lines of common sense. The fact that it has changed is clear but the question is why. You clearly apply your resonse and logic as you see it; now how about why the universe of D/s has changed.

CP

quote:

I don't want to get off topic here, but you asked about why it had changed. In verbal conversation, if a Dom is addressed as Sir, it matters not whether it was intended as "Sir or sir". In written format, all I was saying was typing "Sir or sir" can convey a meaning that otherwise would not be known. For some, that meaning could be a sub talking about or to her Dom, her Owner. For others, it could be a Dom that holds a very special place to her, or it could simply be showing respect and appreciation for him being a Dom.

quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

This subject has been massaged in the past by posters of the CM expereienced variety but since there has been a ton of new folks join the ranks in just 2009 it is worth another roll of the enlightenment dice.

When I first came onto the path decades ago, the use of "sir" was a defining moment as to status of both the Dominant as well as the submissive. For the submissive it identified her/him as a pathwalker and paid attention to the use of "sir" when addressing a Dominant. If it was her/his Dominant the "S" was capped and just a dominant it was lower case "s" or lower case"m" for ma'am.

Over the last few years, it has evolved to "que sera, sera"

While I spend little time in the chat rooms here on CM the culture is evident is some rooms and completely absent in others.
Be yee new to the path, Dominant of submissive; what is your application!

CP

quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince


Be yee new to the path, Dominant of submissive; what is your application!

CP

quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

I'm not new but I've never viewed anyone who happens to be into bdsm, or in a D/s relationship as anything other than just another person. I'm not knocking anyone for whom it means something but it simply never has to me.

So, my application is .........I don't call anyone anything other than their name and see no reason to.

agirl